Month: November 2010

I love Christmas. Today I am wearing a long sleeve T from that gap that is purple (dark purple) with Angel in silver emblazoned across the chest. I love wearing Christmas clothes. Not the weird sweaters, that yes, I admit to wearing in the ‘80’s, everyone dressed weird then, not just me. I look back at pictures and am so embarrassed! OMG who decided it was ok to wear acid wash jeans? Or those strange sweaters, and Units? I can’t even begin to apologize for the horrid fashion sense that was rampant then. All I can do is try and make up for it now.
Today I am rockin’ my cool Christmas T with my purple suede Chinese Laundry ankle boot, 4 inch heels, of course, with my killer Betsy Johnson belt. Today is a good fashion day. I also listened to Christmas music coming into work. Alas, Jess’ favorite Feliz Navidad was not playing, if anyone sees Jess today please sing that song to him. He LOVES it. He especially loves it when people spontaneously sing it to him. So please, please, please, make his day and burst into song when you see him.
I heard a song this morning by Vanessa Williams, does anyone remember her? She is on Desperate Housewives this season, is it me or has her forehead grown to unexplainable proportions. It looks like she has plucked her hair to make it bigger, or maybe her hair is falling out, I understand that happens a lot with actresses. They use so much product and straighteners and curling irons and blow dryers it damages the hair so much it falls out. But if that is the case why is she not having that fixed. Oh, maybe someone told her that was fashionable. But really that was only fashionable in Renaissance Florence and then it was only popular with the “public” women, not the nobility. I don’t understand it, I find it distracting, I can’t even watch her on TV, when she is in a scene I have to look away. Her forehead scares me.
Yesterday I got the best surprise, a card for a free coffee treat at Starbucks, now I find myself in a quandary, do I use it today and get a coffee treat, or do I save it as I have said I am going back to once a week and I had it on Sunday. I am going to need help with this decision. So I am open to any and all suggestions.

Monday, my old friend, it is good to see you again, you are misunderstood, maligned and cursed. Yet you herald in so many possibilities, the possibility of a new week, a fresh beginning. Everything is shiny and new on Monday; I applaud you, welcome you and celebrate you!
I have a new addiction, Cheddar Jalapeno Cheetos, OMG, pure brilliance; whoever comes up with these things is just sadistic. I could eat a whole bag, I am telling you, once January hits, I will be cleansing my system and dieting like crazy. I am not even going to pretend to diet now, I’m not completely crazy.
I have an incredible urge to go out and get a kitten, not that I believe Arthur can be replaced, but I miss him. And yes I know he and Mickey have not lived with me in a long time, but knowing they were with Elizabeth was the same. So now, I want a cat, a furry fluff ball to snuggle with.
I am still in the process of finding myself, I really wish I knew of something I am good at that I could do for a living. I have a lot of things I love doing, writing is one, I would love to take a creative writing course, I’m really funny, I could do standup, but I don’t think I would be good at standup. I play off of people. I am good with the comebacks, but I don’t know if I could be funny just by myself, talking, no one to feed off of. I will have to think about this. I used to have a goal, become a standup comedienne, then get my own show, then cast Dean Cain as my next door neighbor/love interest. Now I don’t know what I want to do! Help Me!! I am open to suggestions. Anyone have any thoughts on what I would be good at?

Arthur came to live with us in 1993, along with his brother Mickey, we almost didn’t get Arthur, but when we started to leave with Mickey they both started crying. They didn’t want to be separated; I could not leave him behind. So we took the both of them. What a great decision it was. Arthur was the best friend any of us could have had. He was Mr. Personality Plus, playful yet laid back, the very definition of a cool cat.
While Mickey was wild and out of control, Arthur was laid back and easily amused, he could hang with his brother, with humans or a big fluffy Wookie. At one point or another Arthur shared a bed with each of us, leaving behind his trademark calling card of grey fur. He was a purrer and a snuggler.
I have no doubt in my mind or heart that right now he is up in heaven along with Kiki hunting birds and waiting for us to come to him to pet him or give him a good hair brushing.

I am so tired today; I had the best time last night at Don and Gladys’, so happy we went. The food was terrific, the company was even better. Lots of food and laughter, what a great combination.
Today I am here sans makeup, so no one look at me, I was too tired to even put it on! Next weekend is moving time, if anyone wants to volunteer to help, show up! I am so excited to move to the new apartment, I am ready to have more space and will actually be putting the Irishman’s things in the closet first so there will be room for him! Otherwise I will overtake it all. I cannot wait to have a garage attached to my abode again, I have seriously missed that, also the kitchen is huge! With an island, I am so excited about that!
I have called and the cable guy will be out there on Saturday, so cool, and the electric is being switched over on Friday, everything is done but the packing. Any volunteers for that? Anyone? I see no hands going up; guess that means I will be doing it.
I think I ate too much yesterday, I am still full! I brought grapefruit to eat today, I am going to seriously have to go on a cleanse after the holidays. Ok people, I hope everyone had a good holiday, if you are out shopping today please be careful!

For years I didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, not in protest like Angelina Jolie, just because my children were with their dad every year, celebrating with his family. The first few times I did go to a different families celebration, it was awkward. I felt like a fool, people looked at me like I was a failure of a parent for allowing my children to go elsewhere for Thanksgiving. And if you are not part of that family it is awkward. I totally appreciate the invites I received over the years, but it was preferable to stay home in solitude where I received no strange looks, and I didn’t feel awkward. I finally just started telling everyone that I had plans, I was not specific, it didn’t matter those plans were by myself, in the solitary comfort of my own home. With a day long movie/television pajama day, replete with popcorn for my meal. They were my plans, they mattered to me, and no, I told no one what those plans were, as it would elicit the strange looks, awkward silences and finally end with the person feeling sorry for me, which would elicit more pity invitations.
Then I came to the subsidiary I work for now, I found I could work on Thanksgiving, what a glorious excuse that was! No one questioned that, no looks of pity, no awkward silences, pure genius.
I know what you are thinking, yes, I am going to Gladys’ house for Thanksgiving this year, after work, last year I went to Henry and Alicia’s house, I thoroughly enjoyed last year and look forward to enjoying this year.
I really thought about this and believe that I have pinpointed what is different about this invitation; these people have no family here either. I didn’t feel it was a pity invitation, there was no awkward looks or silences when I explained I was alone on Thanksgiving.

I find myself angry, angry at an entertainment industry that has the audacity to think they can “re-boot” Buffy the Vampire Slayer without Joss Whedon, without Sarah Michelle Gellar, without Anthony Stewart Head, without Alyson Hannigan, without Nicholas Brendon, without James Marsters or David Boreanaz. The thought is indeed sickening; I am saddened, disillusioned and disheartened.
A Buffy movie without Joss at the helm is unthinkable; the majority of the snappy dialogue came from him, the wit mixed with horror mixed with teen angst, brilliance personified. I admit I still watch Buffy on Chill and Logo, and catch Angel on TNT, I own all of the seasons on DVD thanks to my amazing children who strangely enough do not judge this obsession.
The original movie was horrendous, Kristie Swanson as Buffy, please, but let’s be real here, Joss was just starting out, had this brilliant idea about a powerful female lead who, instead of running from things that go bump in the night, she stakes them. He sold his rights and lost control and it was bastardized. Let us not confuse this mess with his brilliant turn on the small screen.
Week after week we got to watch Buffy saving the world, not only from Vampires, but Witches, Werewolves and a mega monster created by our own government. We also got to see her show compassion to a werewolf, Oz, played brilliantly by Seth Green. And how awesome was Willows transformation from shy geeky bookworm girl to wickedly strong wiccan? We watched her fall in love with a werewolf and then a witch. Watching her find her path and realize who she was, well the writing and performance was amazing. Handled deftly by the incredibly talented Alyson Hannigan.
Let us never forget Charisma Carpenter as Cordelia Chase, a character I could relate to as she was stylish, snobby and popular. When se showed up on Angel, we watched her grow from a selfish, self centered “mean-girl” to a defender of the defenseless, without losing her self-centeredness and her love of fashion and yes, she was still a little bit of the ‘mean-girl”, but this time it was directed at demons and vampires and the partners of Wolfram and Hart. To this day Cordelia Chase remains my favorite character. Her growth was truly incredible, handled yet by another underrated actor. Someone give Charisma Carpenter her own show! Please!
The actors were overlooked constantly despite turning in stellar performances week after week. We watched Buffy die twice and come back to life, without it being a soap opera cliché. How do these people ever hope to capture this lightening in a bottle, once in lifetime chemistry, a perfect blend of writing, acting and action sequences?
Unless Joss gives his blessing, which at this point he is not, I will not be going to see this mess.

Well it is the week of Thanksgiving, where families get together and give thanks for all of the good things that have happened to them the past year. My children spend Thanksgiving with their dad; they do this every year that is typically when his whole family gets together, I never wanted my children to miss that. So I typically don’t do anything, one year I actually got to do a Buffy marathon, when I started working in the subsidiary I work for now I have worked every Thanksgiving, and the day after. Last year was the first year I have ever done anything for Thanksgiving; I went to Henry and Alicia’s house. This year Gladys has invited me and the Irishman, I believe he will also be in possession of two of his children.
I will be working, but will be done by 3:30, so plenty of time to join in the festivities. I have to admit it is odd celebrating Thanksgiving after all of these years of purposely avoiding it.
Well, now for my own list of things I am thankful for this past year:
I am thankful for a fiancée that doesn’t try and change any of my weird quirks.
I am thankful for a new technique in the medical field that will relieve my son’s pain.
I am thankful for a daughter that is not only beautiful but thoughtful, insightful, intelligent and wickedly funny.
I am thankful that my son is finding his footing in this world.
I am thankful for a healthy, amazing granddaughter.
I am thankful for amazing friends; I seriously don’t know what I would do without you all.
That is all I can write for now without blubbering like a big fat baby, I hope everyone has a great holiday no matter how you celebrate it, whether it is with family or in solitude with a Buffy marathon.

I was listening to the radio on the way in today, Christmas music, of course, and I’ll Be Home for Christmas came on. It reminded me of the first time I didn’t get to go home for Christmas. I was very pregnant with Elizabeth and my Doctor said no way. I was very upset as was my mom. At that time I was very into; don’t faint, cross stitching, so I made my mom a Christmas plaque that said All Hearts Go Home for Christmas. Corny, I know, but my mom said she displayed that and told everyone she knew my heart was there.
It’s true; all hearts go home for Christmas, but what happens when your home is no longer there? My childhood home is occupied by strangers; my mom and dad are both no longer on this earth, so where does my heart go now? Well, I will tell you, my heart stays here in Texas these days. I have my beautiful children and granddaughter that have my heart; I have a fiancée this year that occupies space as well. My heart and home are incredibly full for Christmas. I still miss going “home”, I miss my mom and dad, I miss the winter weather, but my Christmas now is amazing.
I can’t wait to get moved and get everything situated so I can decorate for Christmas. I will have a fireplace to hang the stockings, a huge kitchen in which to make sugar cookies and a perfect place for a tree. I am way excited. I love the lights, the sounds and the smells of Christmas, the music, the food, and the overwhelming desire to make other people happy. I love that feeling!
I miss you mom and dad, but I know without a doubt you are here with me in my heart, home for Christmas.

I have a confession to make. I love Barry Manilow. I mean LOVE. The very first vinyl album I ever bought was Barry Manilow, his song This Ones for You speaks to me. He wrote it for his Grandfather and I adored mine, it came out the year mine passed away. I believe Barry is brilliant, his songs have meaning and are catchy and fun and if slow will make you cry. So now you all know my dirty little secret, don’t judge.
I was late for work today, whether you are late by 2 minutes or 15 it all counts the same, so I think we all know what that means. STARBUCKS. Yes, since they open at 5 and I was already late I stopped; I got a triple venti caramel brulee. I am not sorry; in fact I am reveling in it.
Yesterday Jeffrey had laser surgery on his back, the doctor said it was successful and once the pain of the surgery itself is gone he should be pain free for ten to fifteen years. A true miracle, Jeffrey has had back pain since he was sixteen years old; he is twenty-five now. I am so grateful to all of you who prayed for him and his surgeon’s hands.
Next week is Thanksgiving, a time we reflect on what we are thankful for, I am thankful for my family, the one I was adopted into and for my birth one. Having just reconnected with my favorite cousin I am feeling much more connected than I have in the recent past. I didn’t know I felt disconnected until I was reconnected. I know that sounds strange, however, it is me, so no huge surprise there. I am thankful I have a daughter like Elizabeth who is thoughtful, caring, intelligent and caring. She also is my Jiminy Cricket these days; trust me when I tell you at times I need one.
Happy Friday everyone, I hope you have a great day, go out and make it a Starbucks Day!

I think there is something wrong with me. I cannot cool down. I am hot all of the time. I have not turned the heat on in my home because it would kill me! I walked outside today and was so grateful for the 43 degree breeze that welcomed me. I think my internal core processors are damaged. I blame stress. That is what I am sticking with because the other explanation is just not acceptable at this point in my life.
I don’t know why women are singled out in nature to be tortured. I believe that men should be tortured by nature. But not, look at Hugh Hefner he is still cavorting with 19 year olds and he is almost 90! What the heck. Women that age are expected to knit or something. Nature is so not fair.
I am still trying to decide what color I want my hair to be, if I had gray hair I would go blonde. I am thinking about going back to red, but it took me a long time to get that out of my hair. I went back to my natural color and while I like that right now I am bored and need a change. Any suggestions?
So I am currently reading Cleopatra’s Daughter, so far I am liking it, I love reading anything about that time period. The book is a fictional account of what happened to Cleopatra and Antony’s two oldest children after they were taken to Rome. It made me think about the story of Romulus and Remus, then that made me think of Romulans and Vulcan’s, then that led me back to the alien greeter job. It is a vicious cycle. It all leads back to that job. Then I started thinking about Star Trek and Spock. Everything in life is found in Star Trek. We should make that the national Television show, and movies. Except for the one with the whales, oh and the other bad one. The latest one was pure brilliance.
I am going to have to work up a proposal to submit to the committee who decides these things; Congress seems to have nothing better to do these days. Perhaps I shall send it to them.