Shock and Awe

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they look in the mirror and think what the heck happened to me. Today is that day folks. 

I was putting on my makeup and noticed all of the wrinkles and dry skin and well oldness. 

Quite honestly it’s jarring. I never thought it would happen to me. I really thought I’d be pretty my entire life. But when I looked in the mirror this morning I realized that’s not the case. 

It explains a lot.  I don’t know when it happened! When did the lines and wrinkles take over? And don’t get me started on the hair! My beautiful hair is not staying the color it should. Sure, I’ve always colored my hair, since I was 16. 

About 10 years ago I went back to my natural color. I couldn’t remember what that was so I had to let the roots grow out and tell my hairdresser to match the roots. There was no grey, but today, today it is over taking me. I’m simply not ready to be old. 

Ok, that’s not true, age I can handle, losing my looks, that’s entirely different. I’ve skated by on those! No one ever noticed I was actually smart. What do I do now? I’ll have to go in hiding, incognito as it were. 

I’ll change my name from Angie to Bea (I always imagine a Bea as old) I’ll buy some support hose and nurses shoes. Shapeless dresses. OMG! I never thought about the clothes! Do I have to stop wearing jeans??? Is that a thing? All of my clothes are form fitting, do I have to give that up? Is there a list of rules for when this happens? 

I have a very specific Angie style, boots, jeans, heels, form fitting clothes, jeans, cute tops. What happens to all of that? Do I have to wear house dresses? Pants with elastic waists??? 

This is seriously the worst dilemma I have had in a while. I’m working out so I won’t be shapeless. Do I have to dress shapeless? 

I have so many questions, this very literally snuck up on me. 

New Year New Actions

It’s that time of year again, you know, the time where people start making unrealistic “resolutions”. Where did this come from? The new year brings a new life; I have found that life goes on as it always did. There is no fresh start there are only paths and you have to choose the ones you want to travel.
I have never given up anything or made any resolutions, my only resolution is to not be a sheep. Or a lemming, either one of those things in this world is bad.
I think for myself, I do my research, I pray to God for wisdom and strength every single day of my life. I always, always try and do the right thing.
The right thing for a lot of people involves self, self-interest, do whatever makes you feel good. That is the biggest load of hogwash known to man.
I have said it before, if I did what makes me feel good, I would be 8 million pounds. Because what makes me feel good is puffy Cheetos, chocolate, sour skittles, diet coke, Starbucks and dressing. Oh, and watching television, if I didn’t need to sleep I could watch television 24×7. I have loved television since I was little, I seriously cannot remember a time without it. I have a bigger love of books, but television is right up there.
Do what makes you feel good, seriously, who buys into that? The world, that’s who, the world is going to tell you that you are the only one that matters in your world.
But here it is folks, there are more important things than your own selfish wants, I count myself in this as well.
I have a huge love of shoes, fashion, makeup and candy, it would be easy for me to do what makes me feel good. It is human nature, but we are not supposed to aspire to human nature, we are to aspire to Jesus nature. I am speaking as if anyone who reads this is a Christian, so if you’re not, then you cannot be offended. It’s Angie World for a reason.
Jesus commands us to take care of each other, this is not a political thing, it is not up to the government to take care of us. We are supposed to be looking out for each other.
My dad told me that when he was a boy, about once a month his dad would load their wagon up with bags of food from their farm.
They would then go to certain homes and simply leave the bags on the front porches. There was no knock, no interactions, just the act of leaving the food and getting out of Dodge.
My dad said this went on for a while and finally he asked his dad why they were doing this. His dad’s simple answer was that neighbors take care of each other. Their farm was doing well, some others weren’t’ and he wasn’t about to see folks starve.
It was the depression and in Oklahoma, it was real, people were starving. But not in their world, my great-grandfather saw to it. As long as there was enough for his family he would take the excess and make sure others could feed their children.
That is who I am descended from, that is what we do, we see a need and we fill it. This is the way the world is supposed to work according to Jesus. Feed the body then feed the soul.
Before today’s world, neighborhoods were different, there were no garages in the back, everyone was in the front. We all knew each other and we especially knew when a family was in trouble.
We are too insulated today, all of us, I am not absolving myself from this scenario. I don’t know my neighbors, I kinda know the ones behind me, but the ones next to me moved and the other side they are never home. And well that’s about it. I am very non-social as well, I am an introverted extrovert. An anomaly as it were.
So here is what I believe we should all do in the new year, ditch the resolutions, just walk out your front door and meet your neighbors.
Take care of each other, take the government out of it, we should be helping one another.

Revenge Body

About a week ago I began seeing a commercial about getting a revenge body. At first I thought it was a joke commercial, like Saturday Night Live used to do. Anyone remember doggy downers and puppy uppers?
Realization dawned on me when I saw it several more times, it wasn’t a joke, it’s an advertisement for a new television show. A new Kardashian show, as if there aren’t enough of them already.
I paid attention, what is this I wondered, well, turns out the premise is Khloe will work with people to help them achieve their revenge goals of getting a good body.
Hmmm, is that revenge? I mean I know what revenge is, Lorena Bobbitt did revenge very well, not that I’m advocating that. Maybe.
I have even done a few little revenge actions of my own, and they felt good. Nothing as drastic as the Bobbitt, but still, satisfying in their own way.
Never once have I exercised my way to revenge. I am here to tell you, that person you want revenge on for calling you fat, they don’t care. They will still look at you and see fat, if a person calls you that, puts you down for that, they will not magically like you once the fat comes off. I know, because I have been the fat girl, the person (people) who called me fat, which I was, and made fun of me, did not like me after the weight was gone. I didn’t lose it for them to begin with so it didn’t matter.
Here’s the thing, and there is always a thing, if you are fat, obese, fluffy, curvy, or whatever you want to call it, and you want to lose weight, do it for yourself. Do it for your children, do it for your grandchildren.
Do it because you want to be healthy, to live to see your children achieve their goals, you want to live to see your grandchildren grow up to have children of their own.
I have battled weight my entire life, I have never made a secret of that fact, I was born fat, 9lbs, 10oz. Fat. I stayed chunky my entire life.
In high school, I lost the weight, due to a great diet of celery. Yes, celery. I lived on it for about three months, drove my mother nuts.
You see I chose celery because you burn more calories chewing it than it has in it. I was obsessed with sit-ups; parental units did not know that. If they had I’m pretty sure there would have been an intervention somewhere in there.
Right now I am working out, at a place I really love (please don’t tell them that) I love the place, the owners, the trainers (once again, sssshhhh) the other people, the ones I workout with, well, those you can tell.
My beautiful daughter, Elizabeth Anne and youngest son, Thomas Alexander, have enabled me to go to this place. I feel stronger when I work out there, I feel better eliminating certain things from my diet. It’s not easy, I have a thing about sugar, it has been my friend my entire life.
I don’t work out to get revenge on anyone, if I did it would be a short-lived effort. I do this for me, number one, number two is for my amazingly awesome children, I really want to live long enough where they have to take care of me in my dotage. C is for Tessa, I want to see what she becomes, The Force is strong in this one and she is truly one of the most fascinating people I have ever known. That she is one of us is a pure old fashioned bonus.
I want to see her children; I want to see other grandchildren when they come along.
Working out and getting fit and getting a “good” body is not for revenge; it is for living.
I am going to do something I have never done before, at the end of this post I am going to post my before and after picture, the after is still a work in progress, but it will show you what can be done if you work hard.
Revenge will only get you so far before it withers away, you lose the desire to get revenge on a person you are done with. If there is someone you want revenge on, move on, it’s really not worth it in the long run. Unless you are a Bobbitt.

Before and After
Before and After

Ghost of Christmas Past

When I talk about my childhood I leave six years out of the loop. It is incredibly rare for me to address those years, to think about them even.
There is a good chunk of the time I am able to completely forget they happened.
But today, oh today, I made the mistake of looking at Officer Norman’s Instagram account. They had their Season of Giving event. It is where the police department, businesses and people from the community come together to give to people who don’t have a lot. Materialistically speaking.
I fully admit it took me a while to stop crying, from the touching videos of excited children, grateful parents and people who were handing out presents, watching them receive their blessings in the form of humility.
It is humbling to witness that type of poverty up close, the majority of us are so insulated from that severity of poverty.
Part of me wishes I could say I’ve never experienced it, but that would be a lie. From the time I was 5 until I was 12 I lived in a neighborhood very much like the one in North Little Rock.
I lived in Oklahoma City, in one of the poorest areas of the city, I went to Wheeler Elementary School. I have incredibly fond memories of my teachers and the principle of the school.
The memory that sticks with me the most, that impacted my life the most was the Christmas I was in the 2nd grade.
It sticks out because we had a Christmas program and the firemen came. They had their trucks, they pulled their ladders out and they even had one of the trucks that had the basket on it. That is what Santa came to our school in. It was so exciting and amazing, they brought presents for all of us in the school and Santa gave each one of us a candy cane.
It sticks out so much because that year, the only Christmas present I got was the one the firemen brought to our school.
When I watched the videos of the excited children and grateful parents that Christmas came rushing back.
It has impacted the way I have treated Christmas for my children all of their lives. I want them to have amazing Christmases with presents galore, even at this stage of their lives.
I want them to feel that they matter, that someone loves them, that they are the most important person to someone.
I am incredibly blessed that I was adopted by my parents and taken to Owasso later on. But I’ll always remember that Christmas, the one that if it hadn’t been for people in the community I would have had nothing. I now realize, as an adult, that there were many children in that community that were like me. That was their only Christmas present.
I know what some are thinking, presents don’t make Christmas, but when you are a child it does. When you are a child that has to go without a lot of things year round, Christmas matters. A simple gift matters.
What brought it all rushing back was a specific video that Officer Norman posted. A twelve-year-old girl, Tashanti, teared up, telling Officer Norman that it was like someone cared what happens to her, to others in her neighborhood.
I am going to post it, for those of you who have never had to live in that type of poverty, this might give you some idea of what that toy you donate might do for them.
When a child feels like someone in the world cares about what happens to them it makes a world of difference in their world. It gives them hope and also gives them the strength to face the rest of the year. The rest of the year where they go without certain things their parents can’t afford.
God Bless everyone that gives to things like this, God Bless those that receive those blessings.
Here is the video that moved me so much:

The video of Tashanti is the last one in the article.

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