Month: February 2010

This past week I have had the opportunity to have a conversation with two different people that I normally don’t truly converse with. Now before you jump to conclusions these are not hated enemies or people I look down my nose at (I haven’t looked down my nose at anyone since high school). They are just people that I don’t have an opportunity to interact with in a way that is conducive to conversation.
The first one was with a man at work, he sits on the opposite side of the building, he is kind of quiet and doesn’t socialize a lot, he simply does his work. Well this week he sat with me to see if I was having any issues with any particular part of my job. In between calls the talk became more social, he told me antic dotes about his daughter, he told me about his wife, the new baby. We talked about coffee, which for me is a total bonding moment. I simply got to see this particular co-worker in a different light. I learned some things about him, I don’t know if he learned anything about me, however, I found the whole experience enjoyable and, well, delightful. I want to thank him for all of his helpful tips and his patience with my endless questions.
My second unexpected and very enlightening conversation was with someone I have known since 8th grade; however known is a loose term here. We didn’t travel in the same circles in school, once again, not a oh I hate that person, just ran in different groups. We have reconnected on facebook, and yesterday we got to chat. And chat we did. I know he learned things about me he didn’t know, and I learned things about him I didn’t know. I feel like I have indeed made another friend for life. He and I have a shared experience and I have had an experience in my life that I hope he found helpful in hearing about. I am not ready to share what that experience is here as of yet, perhaps one day. Not a lot of people know what it is and while it is not illegal (I know you were wondering) it is intensely personal and private.
I know that is not a huge revelation, that I had a couple of conversations this week; however, it was a great experience for me. I want to encourage all of you to have your own conversations with people you don’t normally interact with. Now I am not talking about finding a stranger on the street, just perhaps someone you work with or someone you see on a daily or semi-daily basis. You might be amazed at what you find out, not only about that person but about yourself in the process. I know I learned something about myself this week, I learned that I could share something about myself and not be embarrassed about events that are of the past. I learned that my co-worker is not only super intelligent (that I already knew) but he is funny and a great family man. I hope everyone learns something about themselves this week.

How long has there been a huge craze to be thin? Perhaps it all started when we no longer wore corsets to hold everything in. I do know that before the civil war a 20 inch waist was the desired. I just want my 26 inch waist back!
I have been obsessed with being as thin as I could possibly be since I was 12 years old, that is when my cousin told me I had put on weight, and since he was my favorite cousin I took it to heart. I have been eating celery ever since.
So this is nothing new for me, the desire to be, well, Paris Hilton thin. Don’t get me wrong, I do think I look good, however, I totally could stand to lose about 100 pounds. I say 100 because I don’t want people to guess how much I weigh. Right now I have cottage cheese for breakfast and yogurt for lunch, sometimes tuna, and fish for dinner, sometimes a grapefruit. I can tell it is working. My clothes are getting looser. Since I like fitted jeans I will be needing new ones soon. I have gone from 500 calories a day to 900. The 500 was to really cleanse my body of toxins. My eating habits were out of control, candy every day, ice cream, chocolate. Nothing healthy. Now I am correcting that huge months long binge. I don’t know why I let it get out of control.
Now my goal is to look good for the mini reunion and non-reunion, I don’t want people who have not seen me since 1993 to look at me and say OMG she really let herself go. I was soooooooo obsessed with my looks in high school. I would spend hours on my hair and makeup every day. EVERY day. I am not even exaggerating about that. I would exercise constantly, doing sit ups and running in place. My senior year, I lived on celery, I would have it for breakfast. I wanted to look like my BFF Tammi so bad. I was so jealous of her naturally thin looks. Not hateful jealous, just, wow I wish I could look like that jealous. I have never ever achieved that. After my daughter Elizabeth was born, I did get down to a size 4. Major achievement. But it takes a lot to maintain that and then I got pregnant again. So that size was out the window. Of course it never helped at that time that I had a husband telling me I was fat all the time, yes, even at a size 4 he told me that. So, my obsession grew, and here we are, today, me still obsessed with my size. I can only hope that I will be like the women in my family and be a tiny old woman who can eat whatever they want and still remain tiny.

I love Facebook for so many reasons. However right now I love it for reconnecting me with the people I went to high school with. As we all know I have an unnatural love of Owasso, Oklahoma. That feeling extends to my high school years. I loved school, I know, strange. I am a great lover of the learning, I was a complete nerd, and however, I think I hid it well. I don’t think anyone knew how completely nerdy I really was, I kept that part of my life pretty secret, the book reading, the Star Trek watching, however I digress.
Facebook and reconnection.
I am finding that age is the great equalizer, it erases the clique lines, the snobbery is lessened, and before you think I am judging, I was a snob, I was in a clique. Mind you not one of the super popular ones, but a clique nonetheless. Now I am finding myself getting to know people that we didn’t really go in the same circles in school and reconnecting with people I did travel in the same circles with.
I am loving it, I love that we all share experiences with different views of them, I love the fact that we want to get together and not only reminisce but make new memories together.
There is a mini reunion planned for April, I say mini due to it is not an official reunion, it is mostly made up of us who now live in Texas, with a couple of people coming from Oklahoma. There will also be people there who did not grow up in Owasso, so it is a reunion within a gathering. There will be people there whom some of us have never met except through others on Facebook. I am so looking forward to this. I talked my BFF, Tammi, into coming down for the event. She and I will be coordinating outfits and shoes. I believe I will wear my new BCBG shoes that I got for Christmas. They totally rock.
The people I have reconnected with from Owasso have had so many great life experiences and are so intelligent; I can only hope I can keep up with the conversation. I will let you all know how it goes, oh and let you all know what outfit I choose to wear to wow people I have not seen since 1992, our ten year reunion, and people I have never met. Remember, when in doubt that you can wow them intellectually, a great outfit overrides all!

I woke with a massive headache. I am on my second giant cup of coffee right now to try and remedy it. Wish me luck!
I have come up with one idea for the wedding reception, I know what you are thinking, oh no, but wait, it’s not a crazy one!

I was reading a bridal magazine and they had this idea and I am going to copy it. A kids room. You set up a separate room for the kids, you have paper table clothes and tons of crayons, kid friendly food, a goody table, hire a couple of babysitters to watch them. This way the kids can have fun and not be bored at the adult function. I was telling a man I work with about it and he suggested bringing in a couple of tv’s for games for the older kids. A brilliant idea, as John has a son that will be about 14 at the time of the wedding.
Of course the children will be free to come in where their parents are, we will not be strict about that, when I read that idea I thought how much fun for the kids!
If anyone has any other ideas I am almost open to suggestion. I am still going with the disco theme, I love it, it is my thing, I am known for my great love of that era, and it will be fun. I promise.
I told John about the kid friendly party within the reception and he loved the idea. I really do want this to be a fun event for adults and children alike. I am not a big fan of adult only weddings. Especially considering John and I both have children, yes his are way younger than mine, but I also have grandchildren. I would never want them excluded.
Oh and here is the best news, if we have the wedding at South Fork I can have a horse drawn carriage!!

Ok, I thought I had found the perfect song for our first dance, then I listened to the lyrics:
Too Hot – Kool and the Gang

At seventeen we fell in love
High school sweethearts, love was so brand new
We took the vows of man and wife
Forever, for life

I remember how we made our way
A little patience, the time we pray
Can’t imagine that this love is through
Feelin’ the pain, girl, when you lose

Oh it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, too hot, lady
We gotta cool this anger, what a mess we made
So long ago you were my love, oh my love

Flyin’ high we never took the time
To stop and feel the need
Funny how those years go by
Changing you, changing me

I remember love’s fever
In our hearts, girl and in our minds
Feelin’ the pain, girl, when you lose

Oh it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta cool this anger, from the mess that we’ve made
So long ago you were my love, feeling the pain

Oh it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta cool this anger, from the mess that we’ve made

it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, so so hot, lady…

It’s a break up song! totally inappropriate for the occasion… Back to the drawing board for me!

This is not original I copied it from:
Clara Moskowitz
LiveScience Senior Writer
LiveScience.com clara Moskowitz
livescience Senior Writer
livescience.com – Mon Feb 22, 11:50 am ET
But I loved it and wanted to share!

1. Be grateful – Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness – over weeks and even months – after implementing the habit. What’s even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.

2. Be optimistic – Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future – for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling – and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.

3. Count your blessings – People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.

4. Use your strengths – Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.

5. Commit acts of kindness – It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.
Lyubomirsky has also created an iPhone application, called Live Happy, to help people boost their well-being.

When I came home from work today, of course, I turned the TV on, after watching the latest episode of Secret Diary of a Call Girl, I turned to Bewitched.
I loved that show as a little girl, I wanted to be Samantha, I wanted to be able to make things happen with the twitch of my nose or the flick of my wrist. Of course that never happened but it didn’t lessen my longing for that kind of power.
I started thinking about our fascination with witches and how over the centuries they have gone from revered to hated back to revered in a way in our modern culture.
In biblical days they had witches, in ancient Egypt, Greece, Rome, really in every society you can find a reference to witches.
It seems as time marched on being a witch became a bad thing, Joan of Ark of accused of being a witch for hearing the voice of God, she was burned at the stake. In our own America we have the Salem episodes, very shameful, children being able to accuse adults of being witches and the adults being the willing vessel, carrying out “justice” in the form of burning. For several centuries being a witch was a bad thing.
Now it is glamorized, and has been since the 1960’s when Bewitched first came into our homes. How could anyone as beautiful as Samantha be bad? Then Sabrina the teenage witch made her appearance in the Archie Comics, she became so popular she got her own comic. Then came movies, The Witches of Eastwick comes to mind. Let’s not forget Willow Rosenberg of Buffy fame, she rocked as a Jewish Witch, then there was Charmed, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch on television.
All of these women are beautiful, vibrant and fight for the good of all. It is hard to believe looking at these women that the bad images ever existed.
Some days I still wish I had the power to twitch my nose or flick my wrist and all would be taken care of. However instead of a witch I am holding out for demi-goddess…..

Today I want to talk about my wedding; it has been way too long since I have given an update. Well the colors have changed; they will be red and silver. Not orange based red, but blue based red. There is a huge difference. My daughters, Elizabeth and Stacy will be my attendants and my son Jeffrey will give me away. I have yet to figure out something for Alex. I have not found the venue yet, however my friend Mary, her husband works at South Fork and he is getting me prices.
I know I want a total disco reception, now this does not mean costume party, it means dancing and lights and fun think of Studio 54 without the hedonism. I would love to have a dance floor like they had in Saturday Night Fever! OMG that would so totally rock!
I have 4 little girls to get matching dresses for, Tessa, Brooklyn, Lauren and Caroline. My two grand daughters and John’s two daughters. They will look so cute!
I know I want a disco ball cake, but I don’t know what flavor I want yet. I have not decided on a caterer, or baker, not much of anything else. I just know what I want and what I don’t want.
I am now undecided on my dress, I thought I had it picked out, now am not so sure. I know it won’t be white; I want cream, maybe, oh or silver!
I am up to 900 calories a day now, off of the 500. That was purely for cleansing purposes. I did very well but it was tough. I still want a cookie so bad; I can smell them when I walk into a store. Bakeries are murder on me!! Forget about walking down the baking aisle! A lot of decisions still need to be made; I have made the guest list, baby steps!

Today’s entry is courtesy of my BFF Tammi. She suggested the topic.
I don’t understand Fantasy Nascar, Football, Baseball, Soccer, Basketball, well any of it really. What is the point? Perhaps instead of pretending to play you could actually go outside and play the game for real. Remember when we were kids and everyone was outside playing these games? So much more fun than pretending to play.
I don’t understand video games. I mean I get the concept; I even enjoy the older ones, frogger, pacman, space invaders, asteroid and centipede, but the Call of Duty and whatever the rest of them are called. I don’t get, I don’t pretend to, I don’t understand the draw. I will never understand it.
Marijuana, I don’t get it, why would anyone want to do anything that makes them fat, lazy and stupid? Oh and smells bad. So when you do this you are a not only fat, lazy and stupid you smell bad. No thank you. I would rather not be fat, not be lazy, not be stupid and I so totally do not want to smell bad.
Vegans, I don’t get Vegans. Animals were put here to eat, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy vegetables as well, however, without protein our hair falls out. So you would be bald. Not a good look on the majority of women. And some men.
Dishonesty, I don’t get it, it is so much simpler to tell the truth, be honest. I can imagine lies are exhausting. You have to remember who you told what to. Just be honest, temper it with some tact, but in the long run, be honest. Except if my behind looks big, don’t tell me after I have left the house and I can’t do anything about it. Tell me beforehand!
Not smiling. When someone smiles at you, smile back. Shoot smile at someone not smiling, you don’t know whose day you will make. Smile when you don’t feel like it, I promise it will make you feel better. I don’t understand people who never ever smile.
Those are just a few things I don’t understand, never will, have no desire to. Remember this idea came from Tammi!!

I know it is a little late for New Year’s Resolutions, however, it has taken me a while to come up with things I really want to cut out of my life, so here goes:
Gossip, no good can come of it, there is too much of it in the place I work and I refuse to be a participant.
Cuss words. They are crass and if I can’t think of a better descriptive word than the vulgar ones, I have no business speaking.
Speeding. It is dangerous not only to myself but others.
Texting and driving. If you do not hear from me in a timely manner it means I am driving and will text you when I come to a stop.
I will treat myself to candy once a week, not every day. Very bad habit I had gotten into.
Well that is all I can think of. If you can think of anything I should consider giving up, tell me. I am open to suggestions.