Well, I have made it to my Friday, I did stop at Starbucks, I know you are wondering what I was able to get that fits in with my diet. Well, I got an unsweetened Passion tea and a fruit cup, both 0 Weight Watcher points. So far so good, I have had no sugar this week, since Sunday, Sunday was my last hurrah, I had everything then. It was actually a relief not to eat sugar on Monday, however, by Tuesday it was not pleasant, the cravings were hitting me with a vengeance last night, but I did not cave.
I don’t think anyone understands the depth of my addiction; some of my friends are all like, just have one cookie, or one piece of candy. That is all well and good for someone who has self control, however, for me that one would turn into twenty. I have no control when it comes to sweets, I can give up pasta, bread, pizza and even puffy Cheetos with no issues, but the sugar. I have such a hard time with it; I don’t think anyone understands that.
Ok, so, yesterday I read these tips on how you can burn calories and how these activities will keep you thin. One of them was bouncing your legs, WHAT, I do that like crazy, I have all my life, according to this article I should weigh like 8 pounds. Oh maybe if I didn’t do it I would weigh 8 million pounds, maybe it is the only thing keeping me down to this level. Wow, I never thought of that, maybe I should be grateful I am not 8 million pounds; I still wish I were the 8 pounds. And no, I do not actually want to weigh 8 pounds, it is an exaggeration to illustrate my obsession with weight.
Ok people, I hope you all have a fantastic Thursday; I shall be working for “the man”, earning my wages so I can buy shoes.
Single Mom Thoughts
I am on day three with no sugar, by tomorrow I should be a treat to be around. By Friday it should be really fun, seriously, I am like an alcoholic with the sugar. I am Jonesing pretty bad right now. I am looking at my vitamins wanting to eat the whole bottle. I know what you are thinking, what the heck, well I have Flintstones sour gummies vitamins, they taste like candy. It is becoming hard to just eat my two a day, by tomorrow I should probably remove them so I don’t eat the whole thing.
So yesterday, on of the people I follow on twitter posted a story about a man who tased a 5 year old child, repeatedly. Who does that you may be wondering, well, a moron, a brute named Phillip Hudson, Jr. the ex-boyfriend of the child’s mother. Apparently he had been abusing the boy for years, when asked why he used a taser, he responded with spankings were leaving bruises so he decided to tase the child. There were multiple taser burns on the little boy, this had been going on for a while, and the mother was having the ex-boyfriend babysit while she was at work. He was caught when the little boy went to school and complained of his arm hurting, the teacher pulled up his sleeve to see what was going on and saw the bruises and took him to the nurse who called the police. Then the whole story came out, the abuse he had suffered for years. Years. This child is Tessa’s age, I cannot imagine what I would do if someone did that to her.
All we can do is pray for this little boy, not only that his body heals, but his soul as well. This is so sad and a prime example of why I did not date when my children were young. There was no way I was taking a chance with their physical well being, emotional well being or any part of their well being. I always wanted them to feel like their home was safe; they knew what was waiting for them in my home, just us, no strange men, and no abusive men, just us.
I did everything in my power to keep my children safe from harm, I hope I succeeded, I know for a fact that as adults they appreciate the fact that I did not have a revolving door. There were no new boyfriends, no “uncle daddy” as Kidd Kraddick calls Kellie Rasberry’s dates. I am really proud of the fact that I kept my children from that kind of drama; they didn’t need it in my household.
So single mothers out there, please think before you date, please think before you bring anyone into your home, please think of your children first, yourself last. That is the way it should be, your children didn’t ask to be here, you brought them into life. Make sure they have the best life you are able to provide.
Where is my Winter?
It is snowing everywhere but here. Even in Texas it’s all around me, but not where I am, it is like there is a bubble around the Dallas area. I know I wax on in regard s to snow, however, I love it. I always have, I remember once when I was around 4, and it snowed all night. The next morning I jumped out of bed and ran outside. I laid in the snow right in my pajamas; I was beyond happy, until Grandma hollered at me to come in and get dressed and eat my breakfast like a normal child. As you can see I have had a lifelong affair with the white stuff.
It’s not only snow I love, its clouds, rain, lightening and thunder. I am not a fan of sunshine, yes; I do realize that puts me in the minority. I realize I live in the wrong part of the country, however it is where my children are and I will continue to live here and suffer, in not so much silence.
There are times when the clouds are dark and heavy, I feel as if I can reach out and touch them. I feel their heaviness envelope me, it gives me comfort. It’s God’s blanket wrapped around me.
Coming home yesterday evening, there was a definite line. Sunshine on one side, beautiful dark clouds converging on the other, I felt comforted by the sight.
I know it is an odd happening, me being happy being surrounded by dark and dreary and depressed in the sunshine. I wilt in the heat and come alive in the cold. The opposite of the majority of humans. My winter is a bust; I sit here wondering what I did to anger God. Why is He withholding His love from me? I don’t understand why I can’t have just one day of snow.
I am really irritated right now, why you ask, well I shall tell you. I was watching old episodes of Sex in the City, while, like millions of women, I like the show, it still makes me angry. Carrie and her friends make some of the stupidest mistakes I have ever seen. I don’t know why I watch the show because I always end up yelling at the television.
Case in point, when Carrie first starts seeing Big she finds out he goes to church every Sunday with his mother, she tries to finagle her way in. He flat-out tells her no, this is a special time for just him and his mother. So instead of accepting this answer, Carrie, who apparently has never darkened a churches doorstep, dons the biggest hat she can, drags Miranda and off they go. They proceed to be as disruptive as they possibly can in the house of God. After the service she makes her way to Big to force an introduction, where he introduces her as a friend.
Her feelings get hurt, she confronts him and he, rightfully, blasts her, tells her he was not ready to introduce her to his mother as that is an important step. She is crushed, her friends tell her of course she is in the right. Well she wasn’t, she was so beyond wrong it was bordering on crazy.
If any woman tries to copy any of these women it really explains why they are suffering, these four women are exaggerations of the way real women behave or should behave. Why would anyone deify these four characters? I admit I watched, I enjoyed, but my enjoyment was in yelling at the wrongs that were happening. I also admit to being a little like Samantha in the fact that I love me, not the whole whore part. And yes I fully believe she is a whore, she will have sex with anything that moves. I don’t believe that is what God intended for us to do with our bodies.
So there you have it people, my Sunday morning rant, in conclusion perhaps it would be better if I watched something that calms me. I am getting older and I do not want to have a stroke while watching Sex in the City, talk about cliché.
Back to Weight Issues
So I messed up big time, I stopped doing Weight Watchers and tried to do it on my own, I fell off the wagon big time, started eating sugary treats and doing whatever I wanted. Well people for the first time in a long time I weighed myself. Shocking to say the least.
Needless to say, I am back on the wagon, I started this morning counting what I ate, and will be doing so from now on. I am also thinking exercise time is in order. This is just shocking to say the least, I must get control of myself before summer gets here and I have to go to my family reunion as fat as well the proverbial calf.
I have also decided to give up diet cokes, I have been reading a lot about the chemicals and artificial sweeteners, and have decided it is not for me. So here I sit, with my sad dietary restrictions, we all know I will rail against this.
I shall sign off for now, pray for me, for my resolve, my determination to look good. Remember for me it is not about being healthy, it is all about the looks. I don’t even know how many ways I can see this.
The Irishman, Evil or Thoughtful?
I sit here this morning pondering a deep question, is the Irishman evil incarnate or incredibly thoughtful. I know what you are thinking, and yes that is my pondering for today. Why you ask, a very good question indeed. Last night he brought home three boxes of thin mints. Three. I will let that sink in for a moment.
These are my weakness, I only bought one box myself, and yes that box is completely gone, I ate it in one day. Ugh. No I do not feel good about myself for doing that, my weakness for chocolate is well documented. Anyway, this is not about me, it is about the three boxes yelling my name from the kitchen.
He brings them home and says I know these are your favorite. Before you can ask, is this completely altruistic, he can’t eat them, they are definitely not gluten free. So there you have it, three boxes of guilty goodness waiting for me to tear into. Ok, you got me, two and a half now.
Maybe he wants me to be 500 pounds, maybe that’s why he brought them home, or maybe he did it simply because he knows how much I love them and wanted me to have something I enjoy. You decide, I am still up in the air about all of this and what it actually means.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have to analyze everything until I have it completely torn apart and it no longer resembles what it started out as. Yes, I do realize that sounds crazy.
Life is a journey, how many times have we heard that? Isn’t it a bumper sticker? While I get that, and I understand why people say that, I don’t know that I subscribe to it. Life is what you make of it, another cliché, that one I totally get and subscribe to. While we might not have control of what happens in life, we do have control of our reactions to the chaos that makes up this world.
I have had incredibly sad news for several weeks in a row, my heart aches for the ones involved, I don’t feel at liberty to say in a public forum. I am praying for the people where the chaos has invaded, where things are darkest at this point in their lives. I pray for peace most of all, understanding may not come, may never come, however, perhaps peace can pervade.
For the first time in many weeks, I have nothing to do this Friday, I am so excited! I get to just stay home in my pajamas and watch television, maybe clean, do laundry, however stay in my pajamas! I know you are thinking this is not very exciting, well; sometimes you have to have a little down time in order to regroup and come back stronger.
On a completely up note, the Irishman seems to be doing better, he has put on weight and he is back to his normal pale, not the deathly pale he has been sporting for a year. He has more energy and his mood is up, so I am very hopeful for this medication and the treatment he is getting.
My own health is spectacular; so far I have avoided getting any of the illnesses that people are bringing into my vicinity. I give credit to the vitamins and honey; yes I am going to stand by the local honey. No flu here, no colds, no sinus, nothing, yes I am bragging. I did wake up with a headache today; however I believe it is due to the fact that I did not have as much caffeine yesterday as I normally have. As soon as I got up and had a cup of coffee, headache gone, so there you have it.
I hope everyone has a great day, say prayers for people today, even people you don’t know, we all need them.
Tech Support Advise
So, yesterday, I was speaking with a co-worker, he has been here awhile, like me, in this particular department. He was saying that he used to be a really nice person, friendly, always ready to talk, then he came here. He said you know Angie this place has a way of just whittling away at you. I said, wow I know what you mean. I used to like talking on the phone after work, being semi social, but now, after being screamed at all day, cussed at, called vile names, I don’t want to talk to anyone.
I find that I have worse road rage, my patience level is almost non-existent, it is insane. I have a few hints for people calling in for tech support that would lighten the load for all people like me.
First of all, we are you internet service provider, not your computer repair person, we do not work on computers, we do not know how much memory it has, that is your job to know these things. My best suggestion to all people who are computer illiterate is to take a class. I once had a customer, a very nice lady who was 80, she was perfection. She followed directions; she was just zipping along on her computer. I commented on it, I told her, listen, I have customers half your age that don’t know as much as you. She said that she decided she didn’t want her grandchildren to know more than her so she took a computer class at the local senior center. I wish every customer was like her, or if you can’t take a class, don’t blame us when you haven’t done any maintenance on your computer and it implodes.
The thing is this is an expensive, complicated piece of machinery that you have brought into your home. It makes sense you should learn something about it, especially since you are doing banking on it, shopping, inputting credit card information. Remember, not only is this your window to the world, it is the world’s window into your life. Keep yourself informed, keep yourself safe, and if you do have to call tech support, we understand you are frustrated, we are here to help. We want to help you that is our job, however, we are human, we do deserve respect. Speak to us in a respectful, professional manner and we will move mountains for you. We will be honest with you and tell you when it is our issue, and when it is yours.
I really love my job, I enjoy helping people, I do not enjoy being called vile names simply because someone downloaded something they should not have and now their computer is just a big paperweight. Think before you click, Google is your best friend, if you are not sure about something, google.com and search it. Honestly, Google is our best friend as well, there are too many error codes for us to remember them all so yes we Google them.
If you own a Mac, they have classes for free in their stores, you can simply schedule one and attend, you will be amazed at what your machine can do. Things are always more fun when you know how to use them. Good luck and remember to get the anger and cussing out of your system before calling tech support.
Well, it’s Monday, and President’s day, a day set aside to honor, well really it was supposed to be George Washington, then someone decided Abraham Lincoln should be included. Why you ask, well it is because both of their birthdays are in February. Then the great Ronald Regan, his birthday is also in February, so it just kinda morphed into honoring all Presidents, former Presidents. Whether they deserve to be honored or not. Jimmy Carter comes to mind in the not column, worst President to date, former President. Our current one is giving him a run for his title though.
I sit here sipping my coffee, pondering on past Presidents of the United States of America, of course you all know by now Ronald Regan is my favorite. He was my first, the very first election I could vote it, I voted for him. It was his second term in office, I loved him, I still remember when he took the oath of President the first time, a breath of fresh air went through the country.
The air is stale now, strangling, making it difficult to take in deep breaths, our freedoms being hacked at one at a time. It is a sad state of affairs these days, the economy, the blatant socialism that is being forced upon us. The overall feeling of despair that has overtaken the whole country, it brings me great sadness.
The past several weeks I have heard bad news regarding two separate people I used to know. I won’t go into details here as I do not feel I have permission to do so. I am just deeply saddened by their losses; my prayers are with the two families.
Speaking of the word lose, I would like to give a quick lesson in how to use certain words: I hope to lose 10 pounds so my pants will be loose. See what I did there? I used the words appropriately. Definition of loose:
not rigidly fastened or securely attached
having worked partly free from attachments having relative freedom of movement
Definition of lose:
to miss from one’s possession or from a customary or supposed place
to suffer deprivation of: part with especially in an unforeseen or accidental manner
Definition of loss:
Destruction or ruin
the act of losing possession: deprivation
the harm or privation resulting from loss or separation
an instance of losing
There, now you all know, it has been driving me insane, seeing the misuse of the three words.
Ok, I’m done, I am sure I will be blasted for this, however I feel better.