Goodbye 2021

Christmas has come and gone, the new year is upon us and I find myself not quite ready for this year to end. I know a lot of people don’t feel that way, but this year has brought so much joy into my life.

I have gotten to watch the people in my life grow and welcome others into our circle.

I gained identical twin granddaughters, I got a new son-in-law to be, I watched my bestie grow in her relationship and get married and now I have a new BIL.

I watched my youngest son grow into a protective, loving father, I got to watch my daughter-in-law grow into a loving, caring mother.

I am able to witness my oldest granddaughter grow into an amazingly gifted writer. 

I got to reconnect with my sister, God has indeed been good this year, I find myself loath to say goodbye.

I hear so often when the end of a year is near that people are ready to usher it out, like suddenly the striking of a clock will magically fix all of the wrongs in their life.

I get it, new beginnings and all of that, but what really changes? I have to ask, because nothing in my life has ever magically changed with the ringing of a bell.

My life goes on, for better or worse, it goes on, the only thing that changes is my hair color, the amount of wrinkles I am gaining at an alarming rate. A new year does not guarantee change, only we can do that for ourselves.

I don’t make resolutions I cannot keep, I will continue to do the same things, make the same choices and be true to who I am at my core.

Do I have my own idiosyncratic habits? Yes, I do, which will continue to foster. I will also have my usual 15 bean soup made with the Christmas ham left over. Do I believe it brings good luck? No, but it does give me comfort and makes me happy.

Do any of you have any habits or traditions that make New Years Day a celebration? 

I usually take down the Christmas decorations, make my soup and watch television, or read a book. I do reflect on what I can do to better my relationship with God. How can I exemplify what He has done in my life. Be a better person, help others when I can, learn to cut off toxic people. 

Some people don’t even realize when they are toxic, they lie, they scheme and blame others for their misfortunes in life.

My life has never been easy, some things I had no control over, some things I did have control over. I have made bad decisions, I have made good decisions, I have relied on God and I have relied on self. It goes so much better when I leave God in the equation. 

All in all, my life will not magically change with the striking of the clock, but it will go on.

Curiosity Did Not Kill the Cat

The other day I received a notification that my website had recently had a lot of hits. At first I was like what! Then I was like what? It seems someone did a google search on the person I used to date/engaged to and found my blog.

They went through and found every entry he was mention in, they didn’t leave a comment, so I have no idea who they are.

This is directed at that person, if you are a woman thinking of dating the aforementioned person, think twice.

I have not spoken to him in over 5 years, so I think it is time to tell a few things. 

He is a consummate liar, he is a user, a gaslighter, an alcoholic and a serial cheater.

You are now forewarned, if you read my entries thinking I want him back, please stop. I do not, my life is peaceful, I can breath and have a beautiful life.

He will try and convince you that all of his problems were due to others, his problems are of his own making.

I know you are asking yourself why I didn’t delete those entries, well they are my life, I will not erase my past. Instead I learn from it and will not be repeating my past. 

Ask yourself some hard questions, why does this person go from woman to woman, why can’t he sustain any relationships in his life. 

Think long and hard before becoming involved with him, guard yourself, your finances, your mental health and your emotional wellbeing. 

If you are a fixer, which I am, I want to fix everything and everyone, take a step back and understand you cannot fix every broken being on the planet.

Take a real look at yourself and work on you, be content being alone, the right person will be there, they will not “love bomb” you. They will respect your boundaries and if you have children, especially young children, protect them. Protect them from having a person who, when they become comfortable, will just scream when he does not get his way. Protect their mental and emotional wellbeing, be their mother, their protector.

If you have any questions, I am open to answer them as best I can, my email address is I will not publish anything here, but I will answer your questions.

I hope you have a great day and will think long and hard about your future. 

China and Just Say No

Hi China!! I haven’t written in a while and when I looked at my stats you have been all over my site, so I though I would write and say hey.

There is a lot going on, so much I can’t write about now, but some I can. My religious exemption was accepted by the company I work for, I am very relieved. I will not be getting that chemical concoction of God knows what put in my body. No ingredient list, no go, all other drugs out there will list the side effects and what is in their drug. This is the only one that does not and now the drug companies are wanting to wait 55 years to tell the public what the side effects are. No thank you, to those of you that are willing to take this I understand. I sincerely hope that you experience none of the side effects that I am seeing others experience, including death.

I am making the trek to Costco today, I have a list, pray I can stay on it, the impulse buying is real there.

This weekend I decorate for Christmas, no, I have not done that yet, I have been very busy, but today and tomorrow are it, I need to see lights and tinsel and greenery everywhere.

I really can’t say anything else, a lot on my mind and heart cannot be said publicly as of yet. I will end with this, if you are a praying kind of person please say a prayer for two little girls who will make their entrance into this world in a week.

Bye for now China, really curious as to why you are so fascinated with little old me.

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