Happy Birthday Jeffrey

As I promised, the end of August is nothing short of spectacular, today is Jeffrey’s birthday. A day that was filled with equal parts joy, fear, happiness and gratefulness. 

Dear Jeffrey,

I know I’ve talked about this before, but when you were born I was terrified. You were born with water on your lungs and doctors were telling me that you would never be “normal”. That you would always have breathing issues and never play sports.

You certainly proved them wrong, you grew up to play almost all of the sports! Soccer, baseball and football, you ran, you played, you swam and were fearless.

You climbed the heights, literally, I could never turn my back on you because I would find you on top of the refrigerator.

As soon as you learned to talk you never stopped asking questions, or saying things that would just take my breath away.

One day when we were passing a Fire Station you said that you wanted to be the one to fix the fire trucks. I said you don’t want to be a fireman? You said no, I want to make sure they can always go save people.

You were three years old, to think that a 3 year old could have that kind of awareness was mind blowing.

You were born with an old soul, I fully believe that, you were always old for your age. I don’t know if that is because you spent a lot of time with adults in your formative years or just because that is the way God made you.

You would also say things like you missed playing with Jesus in heaven and would wonder if the hot air balloons would take you to heaven when it was your time to go.

Of course there was also the time in Neiman Marcus, when i was hugely pregnant with your sister, that you said very loudly “Why won’t you marry my dad!” I had to explain, in front of two very shocked older ladies, that your dad and I were in fact married and your dad had been teasing you when he said we weren’t. I also couldn’t wear my wedding ring due to swollen fingers, so that didn’t help.

I love your heart son, you are an amazing father, husband, brother and son. When I look at your life I am in awe of all that you do, you are a good man, you continue to amaze me all of the time.

I love you so much and I hope your 35th birthday is amazing and filled with as much wonder as your first birthday was.

I hope you know how proud of you I am, how much I love you and how much I appreciate you in my life. You were a gift from God after much darkness.

Happy Birthday Son,

Love,

Mom

Jeffrey and Grandpa Reno
Jeffrey 18 months old

Hotworx and Menopause

I don’t know who I am anymore, Hotworx has taken two things I hate, combined them and created something I look forward to.

Heat and exercise, I loath both, but somehow in an infrared sauna I find both invigorating and cleansing at the same time.

I need to ask a question, to other people who do this on a regular basis. Or rather not a question, maybe a question, I don’t know.

Ok, here is the thing, I am sleeping super hard and waking up like I am just coming off of a two day drunk. I assume this is what that feels like, also my mouth is super dry when I wake up and feels really gross. More than just morning breath, so happy I live alone, so gross.

I sweat so much, and from places I didn’t know sweat glands existed, like my arms, not under my arms, but my actual arms. I didn’t know that sweating arms were a thing, but apparently it is.

Maybe I just have a lot of toxins in my body, who knows, but it is all coming out. I sleep a solid 7 to eight hours a night and it is a wonderful thing.

Does anyone else experience this and what does it mean? If you have any answers I would appreciate it if you shared them.  I think we all want to know, also my dreams have been very realistic lately.

Menopause is still happening, I read it can go on for 10 years, that’s a long time to battle this thing, that happens to all women. Everywhere. No escape. I take so many supplements, and I literally hate taking pills of any kind.

My doctor in Owasso once told me I’d make a horrible drug addict due to that fact. He was right, I hate taking pills, I always have, but since I am seeing results I am continuing in this journey.

I have to say my hair is super thick and my skin looks amazing, which apparently is something that most women lose during menopause.

I highly suggest collagen and supplements, also Fitish hair serum, that is really great for your hair. Oh and since starting with the Hotworx workouts, the weight is also coming off. I am very happy with that, my clothes are fitting differently and I feel lighter.

I am going to post the website to my exercise place, they have them all over. They are cost effective as well, I highly recommend them if you are like me and hate exercising, this is amazing, it also has an amazing recovery time.

With any other place I have been in severe pain for weeks after starting an exercise routine, with this I have had no pain. If you are my agish, I would highly suggest this, also if you have joint pain I would also suggest this workout place. 

I hope you all have had a good week and enjoy your weekend. As usual any questions, comments, suggestion or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com.

https://hotworx.net/

Catervention Time?

I read Britney Spears has a conservatorship, where someone makes all of her decisions for her.

I think I need one of these, I am currently making a conscious decision that could potentially change the course of my life.

The other day I looked in my backyard and saw a small black kitten! As soon as I opened the door it ran off, I was devastated and began to immediately devise a plan to capture it.

I went to the store and bought cat food different from what Fat Catstard eats and got two bowls. One for the food and one for the water, then I put it out by the back fence line. I do this every evening now, I want to let the kitten know we are a cat friendly home and they can come to the back door so I can pet it.

I know, this is a step towards crazy cat lady status, I planned on being just a regular crazy old lady, but now we are adding more than one cat in the mix. I have no self control, I can easily see this being a gateway cat. Leading to other cats, then Stormie and I shall be overrun by cats. We will be the minority in our house, one human, one dog, surrounded by countless cats.

I need a catervention, someone take over my life, there is no pay involved in this position. Just come and take away the extra cat food so I don’t lure unsuspecting felines into my cat trap.

Oh wait a tick, I could be Cat Woman in the making! I could be the next villain in the DC world! I am working out, eating right, in a few months I could look good in that cat suit. never mind, I don’t want a catervention, I’ll take being a villain in the DC world, and a hero in the Marvel Universe. I could do both, I am woman hear me roar, or meow, or whatever.

It is Hotworx for the win, that will get me into crime fighting, or villainess shape. Whichever direction the script takes me.

My weekend will be over soon, back to work tomorrow, praying for every person that I talk to. That is how I start my day, praying that I can make a difference with every person I speak to, that I can be helpful and even if I cannot resolve their issue in that instance that I can get us further down the path of resolving the issue. I also pray that God brings every person I’m supposed to speak to on the line with me.

I am a firm believer in God’s Devine hand in everything we do, I pray that I can exemplify His being in my life

I hope you all have a good day, make good decisions and be a blessing in someone’s life today.

As usual, any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com.

A Strange Dream and a Great Outfit

I awoke to the hint of fall in the air today, I promise when I went outside this morning the air felt crisp. I haven’t felt that in a long time.

I had the strangest dream last night, I mean really weird.

I met an actor on a tv show and he asked me to come to California to go to a birthday party with him. It wasn’t him today it was him 20 years ago, and he was really cute.

I was really excited but didn’t want to go by myself, so I asked a local DJ and his wife (people I have never met in real life) if I could take their two children with me.

They said yes, so off I went with these two children to California. We get there and the actors house is beautiful, it was the day of the party and we are all getting ready in our own rooms.

My outfit was stunning! I need to find this outfit in real life! It was black satin/taffeta jumpsuit with gold embroidery, I don’t even like gold but this was gorgeous. It also had dark purple in the design. It was so pretty and I looked so good in it and that is when I woke up, when I saw myself in the mirror.

I looked good in my dream, all of the menopause weight was gone and my hair was perfect along with my nails and of course the shoes!

I had gold BCBG platforms, they were perfection.

I wonder what happened after I woke up, did I go to the party, did I have fun, did I marry the actor? I don’t know, maybe I will finish the dream tonight.

Anyway, going to Hotworx has been a revelation, finally something I look forward to doing. Physical activity that is, I am really happy Shay forced me to go.

I feel like I am finding my old self, with all of the supplements and the exercise. I am telling you, this place with the infrared sauna workouts, it really is getting rid of the toxins. I feel so much better, I highly recommend it, and I hate the heat!

I hope you all have a good day and make good choices, if Hotworx is in your area try it and tell me how you like it.

Heat and Cold

Do you want to know something funny? When you click on my blog and read it, my statistics records what country one is from.

The funny part are the scammers who try to contact me on Instagram and click on my blog. Then they tell me they are from somewhere in the United States. First off, their syntax gives them away as not being from the United States, then a quick glance at my blog stats tells me what country they are really in.

It’s fun to call them out, sometimes I just hit block, sometimes I have a little fun, most times it is a n Instablock on Instagram.

It is stupid hot here in Texas, it is unbearable, I need to move to a colder state. Especially these days, who thought up the heat? Who do I blame? Who can I complain to? Is there a heat manager? I don’t have the right haircut to complain to a manager, I think I can wing it. This is literally too much, I am sitting in a darkened room with a ceiling fan on and the air conditioning on 73. I try and keep it that temp or higher during the day. At night it is a crisp 67 degrees. Yes, that is Fahrenheit, I like it cold and I cannot lie, it is for my sanity and for everyone else safety. I cannot begin the day with a hot flash, is there anyone else who likes to sleep cold? I have always been a hot sleeper, I can’t stand to be hot when I sleep, therefore I need it to be cold.

So this is nothing new, all of my children sleep hot as well, but I do believe two of them love the summer and one is like me and likes winter.

I dream of snow and ice and perfection, when snow falls and blankets everything it creates beauty out of starkness. When the light shines on the snow and it shimmers and creates prisms of colorful reflection, it takes my breath away.

However, I don’t wish away the time, it is going by too quickly as it is, much too quickly.

I know everyone says 2020 is a trash year, but I have had some really great moments in 2020. I got to hunt aliens in Roswell, I got to bond with my sister on a road trip, I got to meet my great niece and nephew in Arizona.

I got to work from home, a thing my company said would never happen. I got to spend my annual week with my granddaughter, I got to spend 4th of July with two of my children. That has not happened since 1993, so it was a momentous occasion.

I don’t know what the remaining months of 2020 will bring, but I do look forward to them. I have already told Elizabeth Anne what I want for Christmas. I will not reveal it until it happens, but it is greatness. I have to go now, Fat Catstard is meowing plaintively, that means he wants food. If he does not have it I fear for my face.

As usual, any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com.

Falling and Life

So Tuesday night I fell, yes, just fell, right before falling asleep the thought that I forgot to close the garage door jumped into my head. I get out of bed and start walking down the hall to go towards the garage. My right foot somehow gets tangled in my left pajama leg opening and down I go.

My house is all tile, I fell hard, I was there on the floor, thinking, this is it, this is how I die. Fat Catstard sidled up to me and looked me in the eye. He was trying to ascertain if it was time to eat my face or if I would live.

That was all it took, I jumped up, and said not today Fatty Catty, not today.

The garage door was shut by the way, I could have just stayed in bed and fallen into a blissful sleep. Now I check it before I even head to the bedroom.

I got my hair done yesterday evening and it was glorious, getting out and talking to my stylist is the best. She is so funny, she is currently getting ready to move into her first apartment.

I love hearing the excitement she exudes, it reminds me of my first time moving into an apartment. Getting out on my own and getting ready to conquer the world.

My mom used to tell me she loved being around young people, I never got it, until I got to a certain age.

Now I get it, I love being around my children, their spouses, boyfriend, grandchildren and other young people. The energy and exuberance and joy they exude is contagious and a wonderful thing to be around.

I love it, I also love following younger people on instagram and twitter, early 20’s to thirties, young people just starting out or young moms raising their children.

Seeing all of the innovations and seeing them go through things and how they handle it, opposed to when I was going through some of the same things and how I handled it. I just love seeing it, also all of the new things for babies! I don’t even know how my children survived or myself!

Do you do that? If you are of a certain age do you love seeing young people find their way? I get what my mom was saying now, it gives me hope for the future, seeing these young adults.

I hope you all have a good day, it is dentist day and other things for me.

As usual any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com.

My Mom

Here I am back again to grieve on here, today is the day my mom went home. August 11, 2003, ten years after my dad went, she followed him. She would tell me during that 10 years that all she wanted to do was go home. I knew what she meant, before you think my mom was suicidal, she was not, she had Alzheimer’s, during her lucid moments she knew that.

She would say to me that she hoped she went home, because she knew she wasn’t in her right mind and she didn’t know what she did during those times.

I told her that in no uncertain terms was she going anywhere else. God knew her heart and knew how she behaved in her right mind.

I miss my mom, if I’m being honest I’m envious of people my age that still have their mom here. I was only 39 when she left, that is way too early and I always say I didn’t get to have her as long as I should have.

But I did have her for the right amount of time, it is due to her that I am any kind of mother at all. I learned from her, everything I know in that arena comes from her, she was amazing.

Just sitting next to her in silence made you want to be a better person. She had a quiet, calm presence, her soul was at peace and it showed. She had a joy that radiated out of her very essence, anyone that ever spent time with her came away being a better human.

I wish I could change the last ten years of her life, without the love of her life the Alzheimer’s came on much earlier than it would have with him by her side. I fully believe that and no one can change my mind about that.

On this day I choose to celebrate her, celebrate the good things I inherited from her. Whenever we would discover something we had in common she would say it was by osmosis.

It was, nurture over nature, this proves it, we both like quirky things. For instance the heel of the bread, we both love that, and the bread with all of the seeds in it. The whole grain, pancakes, hot chocolate and grilled cheese sandwiches. I know to some looking in that seems mundane and would think everyone likes most of those things.

But I got those things from my mom, no one can tell me anything different.

I hope she is celebrating with her daddio and Jesus today, celebrating her heavenly anniversary. The day she was whisked away from all of the suffering and reunited with my dad and she got to see the face of Jesus.

She was an amazing woman that gave so much of herself to everyone around her. she was the backbone of our family, she was the heart of our family, she was the glue of our family. I hope all of you reading this have someone like my mom in your life.

If your mom is still here with you, please hug her, listen to her stories and eat her food. That’s really all she wants from you.

Happy Birthday Michael

Hi Michael, it’s your birthday and you would have been 36 years old. I often wonder who you would be now, would you be the typical big brother? Who would your siblings be if you were still with us? Would Jeffrey be different because he would not have been the oldest?

I’ll never have those answers, you left us way too soon, I miss you every single day. I know it’s been a long time since you went to heaven, but there are days that my arms still ache to hold you one more time.

You were a complete surprise and a complete happiness. Every time I hear Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go I think of you and dancing you around the house singing to you. Your belly laughs filling the house, making a home, you loved that song. Even the song for the L’eggs pantyhose, when I would do your leg exercises and sing that song. You would laugh so hard at that one, I can still hear your laugh, still see the joy in your eyes.

I know without a doubt you are in heaven, your grandma and grandpa there with you, along with your great grandparents and great-great aunt Effie. I know they are taking care of you until I get there, but will you still be a baby?

Do babies who have passed away still grow in heaven? Will you be an adult when I see you again? Will you know who I am? I don’t have any answers, I still have no answers as to why you died.

SIDS is such an enigmatic infant death, everything they say causes it, you weren’t around. No smoking, no low birth weight (you were 8 pounds 10 ounces), you weren’t a premie. None of it, I have no answers and at times it gnaws at me.

I miss you and love you and look forward to seeing you when God is done with me on this earthly plane.

Love,

Mom

Dean Cain and Vitriol

Something happened about last week that really bothers me, I’ve been thinking a lot about it, I even spoke to Tammi and Shay about what happened.

It was on Twitter, of course, you knew that was coming, either that platform or Facebook. This time it was the bird, and it was Dean Cain.

I know!

There is this website called Cameo, you can request a video from a celebrity or receive a chat from them. Are you with me so far?

Well, Dean is on this and on his profile, at that time, it said you could receive a video or a chat. That is important information.

So a woman on Twitter, I’m not going to say her name because she has had a lot of vitriol thrown at her this past week, posted she had paid for a chat, she called it a DM, same thing. She had paid for it and never received it, she tweeted it because she wanted Dean to know that this company was charging people and not delivering.

He does business with them and he does need to know that, I would want to know if it were me.

People are paying for things and they are not delivering on them.

Well, Dean comes back with, there is no DM, basically called her a liar and then told her to quit playing the victim. I was beyond shocked by this and even more shocked at what happened next.

There is a woman that is his ardent supporter, she posts throwback things all of the time and supports anything he does. Not a bad thing, you just need to know this for context, she posts a screenshot of the Cameo page that is Dean Cain’s and it say clearly has video and chat options.

I thought ok, this is it, he is going to apologize and say you know what let me look into this because I never agreed to a chat option.

I waited days to see this, all the while this woman is getting trashed and he is allowing it. No, he can’t control what others do, but he could have put a stop to it by simply acknowledging that he had been mistaken.

He didn’t, at all, I even asked the woman, did he apologize and I missed it?

No, he did not, and some of these women are vicious in their attacks. It is both sad and disgusting.   I would like to say I have never seen anything like it, but that would be a lie.  The vitriol spewed at this woman was incredibly sickening, these women should be ashamed of themselves, but they are not and never will be. 

So here I sit, disappointed, not disillusioned, because after all, Dean Cain is human. Humans are fallible, they are at times maddening, mistaken and incapable of saying mea culpa.

I hope the woman this happened to realizes that these women were never her friends. They are simply on twitter to follow Dean Cain and come to the rescue when said actor is “attacked”.

She didn’t attack him for the record, she stated a fact.

I am going to put screen shots of what his page on Cameo looked like as of four days ago and what it looks like now.

Apparently he did tell them to take off the chat option, but it was clearly there before.

This does not lessen my enjoyment of Lois and Clark, I have it on right now, it does shine a different kind of light on the actor. Like I said, he is human, that is the long and short of it, humans make mistakes, humans don’t apologize for their wrongs and maybe fans of actors and actresses everywhere should realize that even when they play a superhero, they really aren’t the character they play on television.

Much like actors who play doctors, lawyers, scientists, well except Mayim Bialik, she played a neuroscientist on tv and is actually a neuroscientist.

Have a great day, remember kindness and humility go a long way.

As many of you know the beginning of August is never easy for me, the next few days will be a little rough.

As usual any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com. Oh any vitriol will not be published, this is, after all, my world.

HotWorx and Dean Cain

Ok, so, Shay has been trying to force me to try HotWorx, it is a place where you do hot workouts. It sounded hideous, especially with the continuous hot flashes I was experiencing.

I told her when I got those under control I would try it, well I have gotten them under control. No hot flashes during the day and maybe one a night, which is amazing.

Yesterday I tried a free workout, Barre None, because it is a barre class without the bar.

You go into an infrared sauna, it is 121 to 125 degrees, the heat is different from anything I have ever experienced. Now you know I HATE the heat. HATE. But this was ok, I sweated profusely, drank a lot of water and could feel the toxins leaving my body.

I hated it so much I signed up for it, I went back today and did hot yoga, I am not flexible, and it was brutal. But the heat made my muscles more relaxed so I could do the modified versions of the exercises.

Tomorrow I do a core class, we will see how that goes.

As you know I hate to exercise, I never get the endorphins everyone talks about. I hate it with a passion, but I do love the side effects and I haven’t been able to work out in a good while due to some health things. So this does feel good, do not tell Shay I said that. I will deny it.

So the weird dreams continue, night before last I had a dream about Dean Cain. No, not that kind of dream, get your mind out of the gutter.

I was in a movie theater was a movie and it was Dean Cain, not the Dean of today, this was Dean 30 years ago. Early 20’s, it was the strangest movie, it was about a young man that lived in an underground mansion. His dad, played by John Shea, who was Lex Luthor on Lois and Clark. He told his son he was allergic to the sun and had to live underground.

Unbeknownst to him, he had two siblings who lived above ground, they knew about him but he didn’t know about them. They set upon a quest to find their older sibling and free him from the underground castle.

They finally found it, it was under a parking garage, they found a switch that opened a window, there was Dean starring out at them.

They told him they were his brother and sister there to rescue him and he should come with them.

He told them he could not leave the underground fortress, that he would die. They told him their dad had lied all of those years and he should come with them.

He persuades them to come in so he can get some things and follow them outside.

Just then, the dad comes in, he stops the rescue and causes an explosion above ground and they are all trapped in the underground explosion.

I don’t know how it ended because I woke up then, maybe someone will make a real movie about this. Not with Dean, because he is too old, oh don’t look at me like that, he is 50 something, he cannot pull off 21. None of us that are in our 50’s can do that, maybe his son will become an actor and star in it.

That’s all I have for now, check out HotWorx, if you want a good nights sleep and sore muscles the next day.

As usual you can leave your comments, questions or criticisms here or send them to me at angie@angieworld.com.