Arms Out and Self Care

I know I haven’t visited in a while but I was a little busy. Busy on TikTok, done judge until you’ve seen William White.

I’ve thought of many different things to write about and then I go to sleep and the mood is never there to actually write. Today the mood has hit.

It is a beautiful summer morning here in North Texas, not too hot, cloud coverage and a slight breeze. I am sitting on my back patio with my coffee enjoying God’s handiwork.

Yesterday I went shopping, I really need some summer tops and Target has the worst clothes ever this summer. It is very literally blessed be the fruit in there.

So I went to TJ Maxx, they had some really cute summer tops. I found two I really liked, so I bought them.

The thing is they are sleeveless, and I fully intend on wearing them without a shirt over them. I am daring to show my arms!

What is the big deal you ask, I’m so glad you asked. I have always hated my arms, even when I was at my smallest I have hated them. And here is the weird thing, no one has ever said a word to me about them. So it’s not like someone said something and I took it to heart.

It has always been me, we are always hardest on ourselves, about everything. It begs the question why are we that way. Why can’t we be kind to ourselves and love us the way God loves us?

I don’t have answers just more questions, I will tell you this, since becoming menopausal I don’t care what anyone will think anymore.

Partially, of course I care what I look like, but I like comfort as well and these hot flashes are no joke.

Last weekend I went to a store I loathe, I won’t say the name. However, I live in a small town and it is the only store here. I just needed a few things and quite honestly didn’t feel like driving to my usual place.

Well in that store I started to have a hot flashes and thought this is how people end up on the website for this store. They are having a hot flash and start taking off clothes. I did not but I did hurry and pay for my purchases and got the heck out of there.

So here is my lesson of the day, be kind to yourself but also take care of yourself. Don’t use self love as an excuse to not be your best. But also do not let it be an excuse to hate any part of you. You are a work in progress, and only you can determine your outcome.

As usual, hello China, and any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at

William White aka King of Cougar Town

Ok, so, as you all know since growing older I have increasingly felt invisible. It’s not a pleasant feeling, but it is one almost every woman feels, especially those of us who are single at a certain age.

But something happened this weekend that made me feel a little less invisible, a little more alive and it was the best fun I have had in a long time.

On TikTok, because of course I have abandoned almost all other social media outlets. Mostly because TikTok is fun, and this weekend was the funnest. Yes I realize that word isn’t supposed to be used but follow along.

I was casually scrolling my For You Page, or if you are in the know FYP, and this image came up. There was the most beautiful young man I have ever seen in my entire life. 

I stared in awe as he badly lip synced all of my favorite songs. He looked like he stepped straight off of the cover of one of my beloved Tiger Beat magazines. All of the beautiful heartthrobs of my youth that hung on my bedroom walls had literally been rolled altogether and dropped into present day social media.

He has the sweetest countenance, I fully admit to scrolling through all of his videos and was just completely floored. Let’s take a moment and recognize that I do have cougarish tendencies, but not this young. He is 21, he lives in Canada and is beautiful. He takes the prettiest man alive from Dean Cain. I mean it had to happen, don’t get me wrong, Dean is still a very handsome man, but he is not 21 and he has settled into handsomeness. Let’s face it, he is way too old to be cougar material. William White is the new king of the cougars, we crowned him.

Had I time traveled? This was not possible, how was he created? In a lab? All of the cougars came out of the woodwork, but the amazing thing was there was nothing overtly sexual. It was with pure amazement that I watched and then started interacting with other cougars. 

We have a Facebook page, where we discuss all things @Whiteyy18, and even Barry Manilow gave him a shout out, he has brought back Mandy. I almost want to change my name when I see him lip sync that song. The eye roll is icing on the cake. Magical.

I just felt seen, I haven’t felt like that in a long time, I felt young again, I felt 18 and the whole world was in front of me with all of the possibilities. 

Of course we all know how the story turned out, with a lot of hardships, a lot of pain and three amazing humans. There is not a lot I would change, just one thing, and that one thing happened in my 40’s. 

But for now I am going to enjoy a little bit of time travel with William White and the other cougars. As usual you any criticisms, comments or questions can be left here. Or sent to me at Oh I will be leaving you with one of his videos. If you have TikTok and you are not a massive Karen, I highly suggest checking him out.

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