I have decided to do my interviews weekly, I am working a treat for next week, a real blast from the past. I hope my Fake Producer can book my Fake Guests.
Well today is the day we all long for beginning, well Sunday night if one is being honest, this week today is the day before I get to see the Irishmans face again.
You see he has been growing his beard and hair out so they can shave it tomorrow, he has been raising funds for St Baldrick’s, it is a foundation that raises money to find cures for cancers that attack children, you can go here for more information http://donate.irishjohn.com.
Today I will be stopping at the love of my whole beings abode, yes, Starbucks, I can barely contain myself! So excited for my Friday treat. Who else will be getting their Friday treat? Support Starbucks!
Zumba was last night, it is kicking my behind, I hope it is kicking it all the way out the door and to the curb. It was fantastic as usual, so nice sweating, no, not really, the sweating is horrendous. I think by now everyone knows I hate to sweat, however, it is a necessary evil in the battle of obesity. Must not be 600 pounds.
Alright, short entry due to time crunch, can’t be late! For Starbucks or work! Hope to see everyone giving to St Baldricks and also if anyone is near Trinity Hall in Dallas please come and watch the Irishman emerge from his hair jail!
I have decided that I want to do celebrity interviews, the problem is I don’t know any celebrities, however I shall not let that stop me. I am going to do fake celebrity interviews, I will ask the questions then answer how I think they would answer. Fun! Ok, now I just have to decide who is first, I know, Dean Cain is the obvious answer, but I don’t want to be obvious, Christian Kane comes to mind immediately, I mean he is filming the new season of Leverage right now and doing publicity is part of his job. I think I might be to nervous to interview him right now, must gain experience in doing fake celebrity interviews before tackling major crushes.
Ah, the perfect person to cut my teeth on, so to speak, Joss Whedon, he does have the new Avengers moving coming out May 4th, he does need the publicity. Joss it is! I hope I don’t Baio it all up!!!
Welcome everyone to my very first ever fake celebrity interview, please join me in welcoming Fake Joss Whedon to the party!
Me: Mr Whedon, thank you so much for taking the time to speak to me today.
FJW: Please call me Joss, and thank you for allowing me to be your first Fake Celebrity.
Me: Joss, first off, let me get my geeky awkwardness out of the way, I love Buffy, Angel, Firefly, The Dollhouse, really anything you do. I would jump up and down and squeal, however I am trying to pretend I am sophisticated.
FJW: Thank you, my fans are the lifeblood of my career. Without all of you I would just be lining the walls of a studio apartment with unread scripts.
Me: Let’s talk Avengers
Me: How was it working with all of these superheros?
FJW: Um, you do realize they are actors right? Not actual superheros?
Me: What!!! You used fake superheros? How does one actually do that in a movie about them?
FJW: I think I made a mistake booking this fake interview.
Me: Next you will be telling me that Angel really wasn’t 200 years old and that a fake vampire was used in the shows.
FJW: Help me!
Me: Ok, was SMG even a real Vampire Slayer?
FJW: I’m fake leaving.
Thank you all for being at my first Fake Celebrity Interview!
I watched another installment of My 600LB Life on TLC Monday night and last night, it was Melissa’s story. Wow, that is the word I use for Melissa, she started at over 700 pounds, yes 700, that is not a typo. She underwent the gastric bypass surgery and began her weight loss journey. Her goal, to have a child, she is married and they want a family, which she cannot have being the weight she is.
I have to admit, it was hard seeing a woman who had allowed herself to get to this size, saying I don’t know how I got here. Well, yes, she did, her husband was her caretaker and enabler. He really wanted to keep her fat, he had a deep need to be a caretaker, and in Melissa he found the perfect person to do that with. He admitted he would buy her 2 huge burgers, 2 orders of fries and soda and candy for one meal.
After the surgery she was a woman possessed, following the doctors orders to the T, it was very impressive. The more mobile she became, the worse her marriage became, her husband was resentful that she was not needing him as much. If you ask me he was a giant whiny baby, we also find out he has cheated on her, multiple times. When she was on the operating table he was busy texting a woman to arrange a “hook-up” for sex. She found out everything after weight loss.
Melissa ended up losing 473 pounds and to date has had 2 skin removal surgeries, she has also realized her dream of having a child. To date she and her philandering husband are still together.
After Melissa’s story aired they played the reunion show, where all 4 people got together to discuss their journeys. We got to see Henry again! How I love that man, his humility, his joyous spirit and his determination. He has kept the weight off, he and his wife are happily married and he is just an amazing man. He is by far my favorite, when faced with adversity he just kept going, never cheating, never despairing, always, always joyous. He said the message he wanted people to take from this is that surgery is not a magic cure, it is hard work and without it he would be dead by now. This was not only life changing it was life saving for the four people featured.
Oh, I have to add, Melissa now counsels other weight loss patients, she is doing great, Ashley has lost more weight since the show aired and I have to be honest I have not seen the other mans story. But he is not doing as well as the rest of them, he has gained weight and Melissa got onto him, telling him he had made bad choices, she held him accountable. Good for her. We should all have someone in our lives who holds us accountable for our bad choices.
Well, Tuesday we meet again, I know that you know that you used to be my favorite day of the week, I know that you are resentful that you are no longer my favorite day. It’s not my fault! Buffy went off the air, Tuesday is no longer as exciting as it once was, I no longer anticipate you with glee, I’m sorry Tuesday. Now I just wake up tired and wishing it were Monday again so I could see the new Castle. I am so sorry, I wish I loved you as much as I used to, I know too well the feelings of abandonment you must feel, cast aside for something younger, newer, fresher and with Nathan Fillion in it. If only a show came on Tuesday nights that had Dean Cain, then you would once again find favor in my life. But for now, Tuesday, you are no longer the favored day.
Zumba day is today, oh look Tuesday, something I love about you again, I realize you have to share that with Thursday, but cheer up, perhaps you will be the light of my life once again.
There is nothing more daunting than the blank page; I am finding that very true today. I had a quiet weekend; Saturday was filled with laundry, grocery shopping and a nice visit from Elizabeth Anne. Sunday, quiet again, played on the internet, drank coffee, saw a movie then watched television till I fell asleep.
I am obsessed with GCB, I so want to throw a come as your favorite Texan party! OMG, the possibilities, Annie Potts character started out as Laura Bush then she changed and someone asked her who are you, she replied, “My favorite Texan, ME”. I love it! Someone came as Mary Kay Ash and the lead came as Farrah Fawcett, how can one not love this show! The question is who would you come as? A fictional Texan or a real one? Well Farrah is out for me, I don’t have the body to pull that off, I love Laura Bush but her outfits are not exactly inspiring, I am not Texan so I couldn’t come as me, I might come as Elizabeth Anne, however I am not pretty enough to pull that one off. Cynthia Ann Parker, might as well considering I am a descendant. There, I could wear half of a pioneer outfit and the other an Indian maiden. Problem solved.
How was everyone’s weekend? Anyone do anything exciting?
I have discovered a new past time, Draw Something, you draw something, send it to your opponent for them guess what it is you have drawn. Yesterday I had the word Grandpa, so i drew a red Ford Falcon along with a stick figure, my opponent was my cousin Pat. He got it. Only one of my cousins would have gotten that. I remember that Ford Falcon so well, I remember riding in the front seat sans seatbelt, going for ice cream with Grandpa. My grandfather rocked, he had fried chicken or fried fish for breakfast every day, he had a wicked sense of humor and loved his garden. He did the laundry, not my grandmother, he did the sewing as well. He used to make me Barbie dresses out of my old dresses. I really wish I still had some of those doll clothes. He taught me the best soil to plant potatoes in, how to read and passed on a great love of animals. He was my favorite person on earth. He went home in 1977 and to this day I still miss him terribly.
If I could have 20 minutes with him today I would tell him how much he meant to me and how I try to live up to the standards he taught me. What I really remember the most is him reading the bible on the front porch, wearing his overalls, I think that is why I put my boys in overalls so much. Because they reminded me of my grandpa and it was something I could do physically to connect my children to him. I remember his smile, always there, always welcoming. My cousin Pat looks a lot like him, it is uncanny, to date I have yet to see another relative who looks like my Grandpa.
He loved wrastling and Gunsmoke, and yes, I meant to type wrastling, that was what he called it, they were the only two things he watched on television that I can remember. I also have vivid memories of the way he ate apples, he would peel them, and give me the peels and then slice the apple, salt it and share with me. He had ill fitting dentures and could not eat the peels, to this day I still eat my apples this way.
I loved going to church with him and Grandma and Great Aunt Effie, I don’t think I have the proper words to express how they made me feel. Safe, loved, wanted, welcomed, and above all a sense of belonging. That is what grandparents are supposed to make you feel, I can only hope I give that to Tessa.
Since it is Friday I thought we might discuss television and the valuable lessons that can be learned from the amazing miracles of scripted programming.
I think it really started with Star Trek, I learned that in space everyone is equal and that Captain Kirk is really the king and cowboy justice works for every situation. I learned that women could be anything they wanted. From I Dream of Jeannie I learned that if I wear a ponytail and a harem outfit, crossed my arms and nodded my head I could make things happen. From Bewitched I learned that all I had to do was learn to wiggle my nose (still working on that one) and I could make people turn into monkeys.
As I got older and the television shows changed I learned different lessons, from Happy Days I learned that reading really is cool and that you didn’t have to be blood related to be a family. Thank you Fonzie for your life lessons, you really were and continue to be the coolest. From Dynasty I learned that back stabbing really didn’t pay off in the end and to never have a chick fight in a pool. Oh and huge shoulder pads rocked! From Charlie’s Angels I learned that you could be beautiful and tough at the same time. From Mork and Mindy I learned you didn’t have to be from the same planet to fall in love.
From Buffy the Vampire Slayer I learned that not all vampires are bad, and that you really have to look close to figure out which are the bad guys and which are the good guys. I also learned everyone has a past and that it is up to you to figure out what you can live with in a person.
These are just a few of the lessons I have learned from scripted television. I continue to watch, I refuse to watch insipid programming, I have been raised on the best and continue to demand the best. I hope everyone has a great Friday!
I am so tired today, I believe I shall sleep in this Saturday, maybe till 7! My thumb hurts this morning, I think I bumped it in the night. It is so ugly-looking, yuck, I have not done this in years and hope I go through the rest of my years without ever doing it again.
I do believe I am close to stepping onto my soapbox again, in regards to being a single mother. I continue to be stunned by the selfish acts of single mothers everywhere, people, when you CHOSE to become a mother, you gave up certain rights and freedoms. I seriously cannot believe that your selfish pleasure comes before your children. I am speechless at the complete lackadaisical attitude in which some people parent.
A psychologist told me once there were two types of people after a divorce, one who decides to revert to high school and become promiscuous and the other becomes a responsible adult who is hyper vigilant in regards to their children. Might I suggest that all single parents become the second one. The news is filled with children abandoned, forgotten, abused and killed. Typically it is by the new boyfriend, step-dad or flavor of the week. Put your children first, your needs go on the back-burner, this was your decision, they did not ask to be here. You brought them here, stop behaving badly.
Whew, that felt good.
Oh, for the record, I never left my children home alone, the only time I had a babysitter was when I had class, and I never brought strange men home. I was a very vigilant parent. Oh and the teachers and principals of the Plano ISD were terrified of me. My kids came first, they still do even though they are adults, I have always taken the responsibility of being a parent seriously, and never pushed the raising of them off onto someone else. When my children became adults, one of them told me about a conversation his friends were having, one was talking about his mothers 3rd husband, his 2nd stepfather, one was talking about all of his mothers “boyfriends” and they looked at my son and said what about you, he said my mom doesn’t date. One of the boys looked at him and said you are so lucky. It spoke volumes, I have never regretted my decision as a mother, as a woman, as a human to put my children first, make sure they were raised in church, knew who God is and what Jesus did for us. I have never felt like I have given up anything at all, I have my entire lifetime to fulfill whatever ambitions, dreams or just wants I might have. What I needed to do was make sure my children were raised in a safe environment and always had clean clothes to wear. Oh and that they knew and continue to know that I am always, always, on their side.
Yesterday was amazing, torrential rain, dark, dreary and just wonderful weather. After work was Zumba time,man oh man, that is a work out. I am loving it, I am getting better at the steps, I know when I get them down they will change them. I am loving this class, the teacher is really good and I sweat like a pig, which I know I hate to sweat, however realize a necessary evil in the battle against obesity.
I need to take the Irishman’s girls and buy them some new summer clothes, they have outgrown all shorts from last year, they might be able to wear some of the shirts, but not a lot. I did find some cute capri’s at Target and they fit both girls really well. They are in-between sizes, it is strange, they are both very different body types, however, the same size, shirts are no problem it is bottoms. Need suggestions for places to go for the two different body types I am ready to hear them!
Also want to get some cute Keds for summer wear for them, one thing I seriously have issues with are the shoes without socks. I believe it makes the shoes smelly and is not good for their feet, and Keds are so darn cute on little girls.
Exercise again today, not Zumba, those classes are on Tuesday and Thursday, they don’t have any on the schedule that we are able to participate in on any other week day. So tonight it is the stairs and treadclimber and possibly some weights. I like this not at all, I hate exercise, the Zumba doesn’t seem like exercise, that is why I love it so much. An hour of dance! Love it!
Before long I will be singing “I’m Sexy and I Know it” with abandon!
This morning it is pouring rain, so of course I leave for work early, so early I have time to stop at Starbucks.
I actually stop at one of my favorite Starbucks, located at Parker and Alma, I tell the drive thru speaker my order.
I pull up to the window, first they have my drink order wrong, and the girl acts like it is my fault that they did not listen to what I said. Then she hands me my breakfast wrap sans bag and fork, plus no napkins. I ask her politely for these items, she huffs and puffs and acts like she is going to blow the piggies hows down.
Once I hand her my Starbucks gold card, she puts on an incredibly fake smile and says drive safely in the most snarky voice I have heard in a while.
I will be boycotting this Starbucks from this point forward, never have I been treated so poorly. I will also be sending this entry to Starbucks Corporate, they need to know what kind of employee they have. I do this not to get the girl fired, but to have her re-trained in customer service.
In today’s economy can one really afford to be snarky to a loyal customer? I think not, so Starbucks at Parker and Alma, you have lost my business and I am suggesting that others follow suit. Boycott them, and let corporate know why.
Drive in uneventful, even with all of the rain, smooth sailing, so to speak. I love this weather, it is amazing, it is not snow, but I will take it.
When it rains I always get the urge to sing Nothing but the Blood of Jesus, I don’t know why, but I sing that song. What song do you sing in the rain? And if it is rain rain go away, please do not tell me. I do not want it to go away.
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