Killer Queen if you Please

So I finally saw Bohemian Rhapsody, I loved it, but it felt rushed. Like it should have been a 6 part documentary, but I understand why they did it the way they did. I thought Rami Malek did an excellent job of bringing Freddie Mercury back to us for a short time. He captured his essence and his singing.

Of course I had to download Queen’s greatest hits and have been playing them since. I had forgotten how many hits they really had and how much fun it is to sing those songs. How much they allow me to time travel, they are so the soundtrack to my misspent youth.

So big happenings on the Dean front, this past week he liked two of my tweets. I know, right! Two!

Yes, I know, this is crazy talk and I am strangely good with it.

A few months back someone asked me if it has to be Dean, my answer was for now it does. You see I am damaged and Dean Cain is safe. The odds of me actually meeting him are pretty slim and of him actually being attracted to me is even slimmer. So he is safe, I can say I am going to marry Dean Cain and I know it will not happen. I am safe, I can live my life alone, never tempting any sort of ego bruising or actually feelings. What are those?

I don’t know if it will always be Dean, but for now he is my safety, he has been since 1993.

It started when I was first divorced, I was a single mom with three kids and three jobs and full time college. I didn’t have time to date, however, people still felt the need to call me out on not dating.

So I would say, i’ll date when Superman shows up at my front door, by Superman I mean Dean Cain. I mean seriously, he was and still is the prettiest man I have ever seen in my entire life. And Dean shirtless in Lois and Clark, well, that was a sight to behold.

So he has been my safety net since 1993, and when I did let him go, well it was disastrous, I think we can all agree on that. My life was a fiasco, and I refuse to have a fiasco again, no thank you.

I’ll sign off for now, Killer Queen is playing and I must sing it at the top of my lungs and dance with the dog.

Spanx Thoughts

I love reading all comments on Facebook adds. I know it sounds crazy, but people are funny. The dating ones are among my favorite. The women are brutal, because of course none of the men on the dating apps look like the ones in the advertisements.

Another that has become a favorite is one for shapeware. Like spanx, the comments are brutal. Like, lose weight and you won’t look like a cow. I have news for these women, the right undergarments make the outfit. I was a a wedding years ago and the maid of honor was a skinny woman. Her undergarments were so ill fitting and make her look lumpy. She needed spanx to smooth out her dress. The beautiful dress looked hideous all because she didn’t look in the mirror and think oh maybe I should get better foundation garments.

I for one love spanx and other shapeware, it just gives you a smoother appearance. It has nothing to do with hiding the way you really look. As some women have hinted at in these comments. It doesn’t make you look skinny it just smooths your clothes and allows them to lay correctly.

Some of these women have no shame, I admit I had to go look on their Facebook pages to see what they were working with. Some are simply gorgeous, others not so much, however, when one finds their self esteem in the mirror only, well, their old age is going to come as a surprise to them.

After the ravages of childbirth and yo-yo dieting, spanx is my best friend and I am not ashamed to say that. I like to look good in my clothes and I don’t think that is a bad thing.

As usual any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at

Seamstress Found

My mother used to be my seamstress, she was hands down the best seamstress in all of Oklahoma, nay, the world, nay, the universe. The covenant between a seamstress and her client is sacrosanct. You have to be able to trust your seamstress to tell you the truth about your clothing choices. Not what they think you want to hear, even if that truth is harsh.

So I needed a seamstress to do some alterations on a dress I am going to wear to a formal wedding. I found the dress I wanted, I was really hoping I wasn’t just thinking it would look good on me and it was not going to.

I researched online to find a seamstress, I found one with great reviews and called her. She could fit me in, I have two dresses, one is my dream dress the other a backup.

I took both because one needed to be altered and one needed to be hemmed.

Today I had a fitting, the one that needed to be altered, dream dress, fits like a glove, but I didn’t want to be overly optimistic. So I said I’m not really sure, she said try on the other one, I did. She came into the room and said can I be honest with you.

I said, yes please, brutally, she said the first dress looks amazing on you, this dress makes you look older than you are. I was like um I’m 55, she said what, I said um yeah. She said no, this is not the dress for you, the first one looks amazing and that is the one you need to wear.

I concurred, she will finish the alterations and have it cleaned and pressed and I will pick it up Monday.

I am very excited, this wedding is going to be so awesome, I cannot wait to see this beautiful bride walk down the aisle.

I am very happy to have found a good seamstress in the area, I haven’t really had one since my mom stopped being one. Like I said, the trust has to be there, my mother used to tell me some harsh truths. And I appreciated it, greatly, I am not one to tell a white lie when it comes to fashion.

It’s a risky thing, to tell a stranger the truth in a department store dressing area. I have done that, of course I told them my name was Rachel and I was a buyer for Bloomingdales. I didn’t want to die.

being the daughter of a seamstress affords me a different eye when it comes to fashion and what fits and what looks good on people. I wish I could sew, I cannot, I never had the patience to learn, my poor mother tried, but even she had to admit defeat.

My head was better suited to living in the clouds and reading all day long. She knew that and was happy to allow me to be well, me.

Maybe I’ll post pictures of me in the dress, that way you can all judge me. It’ll be too late by then, but hey, that is what the internet was invented for. Judging others after the fact, or making up stuff in it’s entirety and going to jail for it.

My Perfect Man

Since I promised I would start dating if Dean Cain doesn’t marry me in March, perhaps April, I thought I would give a list of requirements.

6ft tall, I am 5’4” and I like wearing heels.

Hair would be nice, I really like dark hair and neatly groomed. I like a nicely trimmed beard, not a biker beard. You know the kind, the ones you find food in, that is just gross.

Eyes would be nice, two if at all possible.

Be able to dance, I miss dancing, I really like it, so yes please to dancing.

An OU fan, or at least not an UT fan, they are beyond annoying, as I am sure they will say the same about us. Oh and I don’t think I could date a Nebraska Cornhusker, we used to be huge rivals back in the day and who’s to say we wouldn’t have flashbacks.

Someone who reads, I read a lot, so a reader would be nice. We don’t have to read the same books, in fact I think a man who reads romance novels might be a little weird. So different genres definitely.

I like television, I cannot lie, I like all kinds of different shows as well. No reality tv, no bachelor, bachelorette, stars dancing or singers singing. Sci-fi, super hero, vampire biting and those things, yes.

Going to the movies, a must.

If you have never seen Star Wars, Star Trek, Battlestar Gallactica then I am probably not the woman for you.

Someone who exercises, I would like to have a workout partner. He doesn’t have to eat super healthy but eating the way I do would be a huge bonus.

Oh, if he could cook, major points, I mean I can cook, but a lot of times I choose not to, and I don’t know if I am that great at it.

Guns, yes, I grew up in the country and am very comfortable with them, I don’t think I would get along with a man who was anti-gun.

Someone who wants to travel, I find I like to travel and I don’t want to spend my life sitting at home. Watching paint dry or peel or whatever paint does when one is watching it.

Oh speaking of paint drying, no soccer people, ever, never, I refuse.

Sports in general, I mean I do enjoy a live game,  I am all for that, but sitting at home watching it, I’d rather be reading, or skating or watching paint dry.

A sense of humor is a must, I am really funny fo him finding me funny is a necessity.

So, if we can put all of that into a dating app and find the perfect man for me, let’s do it. You know, if I don’t marry Dean Cain. It could happen, I am incredibly charming.

Last Day of Valentines Week

For my last post I’d like to end with a poem my mother wrote. My mom loved words, she was a published author and had such a way of saying things. After all of these years I am still amazed at my mothers God given abilities. I hope you all enjoy her poem.


I Walked In Gethsemane


Lord, I feel akin to Thee

For I’ve trodden Gethsemane

In the dark and gloomy night

With no ray of hope or light.


Doubt of safety for one dear

Sent me there in deepest fear

In despair I wandered on

Thinking I was there alone.


Then in mists of twilight dew

I saw there were others, too

Other figures, shadowed, still

That in life I knew so well.


Some walked aimless, to and fro

Lost in fear and deepest woe

A gray haired mother, bent with grief

Knelt to pray in sweet relief.


Friends and loved ones dear to me

I tried to reach with sympathy

But my own doubt drove me on

In Gethsemane, alone.


I wanted much to still the fears

Of a girl who sat in tears

But in my stumbling, doubting way

I found I knew not what to say.


Then a voice out of the deep

Whispered softly “Do not weep”

I wondered if each one could hear

That voice so soft and yet so clear.


“Faith and comfort I could give

If for Me you’d daily live.

I could be your Guiding Star

Moving doubt and fear afar.”


Then like clouds of morning light

Banished were the fears of night.

Faiths fair light rose bright and clear

And I knew ’twas Christ so near.


As I stood He seemed to say

Some are here who’ve lost the way

Go and tell the story sweet

Of a Heaven of Retreat.

Odela Testerman

Day 4 of Foy and Odela

The next note comes from my mothers best friend, Joyce, they had been friends since they were young girls growing up in Love County, OK. Quick side note, I don’t know if Joyce ever knew this or not, but when the twins moved into the area my mother instantly fell for my dad, Foy. She and Joyce were playing house and were deciding which twin would be their husbands in their pretend game. My mom let Joyce go first and she always said she held her breath, hoping and praying her friend would not pick her twin. Joyce chose Roy so my mom could breath again. I asked her once what would have happened if Joyce had chosen the wrong twin. My mom winked at me and walked off whistling. To this day I don’t know what would have happened to Joyce if she had chosen unwisely.

Jan. 3, 1984

Joyce (Hudson) Seefeld

Rogers, New Mexico

I have very fond memories of the Testermans and Allens. Odela was my best friend by the time I started to school at Greenville, OK till we left there in 1924. I shall never forget how she and I could climb a hackberry tree, find a forked branch where we could sit comfortably and listen to the noises of the creek such as birds singing and crickets chirping and eat hackberries. Thinking back there wasn’t much to eat but they were good to two hungry barefoot kids when the hot summer days were as long. I also remember sneaking in her mama’s kitchen and each getting a biscuit to eat with the sheep showers we’d gather and sat on the creek. Um-m-good eatin!  I wonder if kids would like them now? And would kids like to ride saplings? We could go mighty high if we could find a young tree, bend it over till we could get a good hold and give a little kick. Up we’d go and a bluff never got too high for us to jump off of, especially if it had a sandy bottom to land in.

Odela was the envy of every little girl in school when her teacher presented her with a pretty doll for making the highest grades, I don’t think I envied her for I was glad it was she who won it (since I couldn’t) and like I said she was my best friend.

School was fun and to second graders in “love” with two cute (handsome?) twin boys made it even more fun. She liked Foy and I liked Roy. I’d like to ask Odela a few things that she remembers,..

That night we saw the wicked elf with his sword drawn to cute off our heads? How miserable we were with our heads under the cover on a hot summer night?

Picking boll weevils off of wild flowers and weeds and selling them for 1 cent each?

Getting the day lights scared out of when the strangers stopped close to the bridge to have a picnic? And how we sat high in a tree waiting for them to go on? How we pushed and pulled on Lillian to get her up there? She might have been four years old. And getting their paper cups they had left?

Finding the dried up knot out of the tree, thinking God had started making a baby and had dropped it so we dug a shallow grave and after a short service, perhaps a prayer and a few tears we buried it and went on our way Just goes to show we sure hadn’t watched television!

I could go on and on. I could say a lot about Foy’s mother. She was our closest neighbor and my mothers very dear friend. They wrote letters to each other long after we came to New Mexico. I’d walk with my mom to visit them and have such a good time playing. Mama would say before we got there “now Joyce don’t you ask for something to eat” but Foy’s mom knew kids were always hungry and I remember how good the bread, meat and buttermilk was. And mama would eat too! I remember the day I spent with them and a terrible sand storm blew all day and we went to the cellar. Foy’s mom brought food, water and clay and we played, moulded all kinds of farm animals and wagons and buggy. Really had fun.

Childhood memories!

Day 3 Legacy of Foy and Odela

Todays missive comes to you from my mothers cousin Joe Kee and his wife Mary. The story they tell is one of childhood and then one of my dad in adulthood. The one from adulthood is one I have never heard but it fits with my dads personality and sense of Christ. I hope you enjoy it.’

Jan. 3, 1984

Joe and Mary Kee

Odella was Joe Kee’s cousin and Foy had lived close by since Joe was a small boy, when all would come over to play at Uncle Toms house. Uncle Tom Allen lived close to Monroe Kee with their wives being sisters.

Us kids had some good times and gave others some bad times. What one couldn’t think of one of the rest of us was bound to. In later years we all moved to Amber. Joe took Rhoda, his sister to practice on a play and he stayed at Bob Allens home. Jess and Joe decided to scare all of the other boys in the house. They tied a string above the window in the bedroom and down to the castor bean stalk in Linnies garden. Joe put rosum on the string. Jess and Joe told the others they were going into town and of course there is always someone else wanting to go it was Tom. Finally when they couldn’t talk Tom out of going, they let him in on to what they were going to do. They said “now Tom you get the shells out of that gun of Ralphs or he will shoot us.” Tom played the French harp and he was good. About dark he was playing that harp and we hit that string and it made a terrible racket. We could see them open the bedroom door and peep into the room. They couldn’t see anything so they went back, a few minutes we hit that thing again and back they came and would peep around and look all over the room. Finally they came peeped out the door but they wouldn’t come out. That line did make a terrible racket and was enough to scare you. We decided that they were too scared to come out so Jess sneaked down to the hen house and got an old hen and he would grab a feather behind that old hens head and pull it out and of all the swaking that hen would do it. Ralph got his gun and stuck out the door. He didn’t even come out where he could see he just put it around the corner. Jess took off and I could hear him running plop plop plop,. He sounded like a herd of cows., Ralph hollored again, “stop or I will shoot”. We started to laugh and he said you are mighty lucky I could of shot you. We said oh you didn’t even have any shells, he said “I always have shells.” He looked and the gun was empty,

I remember after Mary and I married they came to our house at Stonewall and stayed the night. Mary started to fix the meal and had no bacon.. Odella went out into the car and got some and Mary has always remembered that visit. They had to bring their own food but that wasn’t the only reason we remembered that visit,. Foy told of a man in his church that he really had got to the point of not being to worship at church because of. He could hardly stand the man, so bad was his dislike for the man he could hardly worship, One day the Pastor had them all knell in prayer at church and Foy said he started to pray for that man and then Foy said, “I found myself praying for old Floy and when I got up and looked at that man he looked so different”, Mary and I talked about that many times since and I think he taught us what the parable in the Bible meant to first cast out the beam in your own eye, Foy and Odella taught many people things, I was around them all my life in growing up and I never heard them or their family ever say a bad word, we love Odella and Foy and hope they feel our love through out all of the years to come.

Day 2 of Valentines with Foy and Odela

Yesterday’s note was chosen by choice, todays was random. This one is from Al and Grace Wimberly, Sister Grace (I’m Freewill Baptist, that’s how we refer to each other) was one of my favorite Sunday school teachers. I am going to tell a little story that my dad told me about the Wimberly’s. They have both gone to their heavenly home, so I know they won’t mind me revealing this fact about them.

They were not native Owassoans, they actually chose Owasso to retire to, not really sure how that happened, but they did. They were big couponers before it was a thing. The money they saved in coupons went into a jar, every June they would take that money to Brother Pirtle (the preacher of our church) and give it to him to pay for children who would not be able to afford it otherwise, to go to camp. Here is their note to my parents:

Al and Grace Wimberly

Jan. 12, 1982

A Tribute To Foy and Odella Testerman On Their 50th Wedding Anniversary

Foy’s smile – Prayers in the Church – Comments in adult Sunday school Class. In 1982 they read through the Bible and we had wonderful discussions on Friday when we where grocery shopping at Safeway. Odella’s pecan pies at birthday suppers and when the Ladies Auxillary took food into bereaved families. The positive testimony for Christ and the Free Will Baptist Church in the community. “Do you know the Testerman’s they go there?” Was the question asked by people when they found out where we went to church.

What a pleasant time to go their place. The walk down the hill to the huge garden. Those big beautiful potatoes. The bucket of turnips that we where given. Foy’s willingness to share his knowledge about gardening. Odella’s story of the rabbits in their first garden. She carried a gun to the garden instead of a hoe. The raccoon’s that ate their corn. Odella’s beautiful sewing.

The crowning point of taking Angie in and giving her a christian home atmosphere. Our prayers are that God will still use that act of mercy to His glory. Wish to God there were more Testerman’s in this world and in the churches,. We love you Foy and Odella and thank you for letting us share your anniversary.

Foy and Odela Legacy of Love

This week is Valentines week, the day of love, as it were, there are many different kinds of love. As everyone who knows me, knows, that my parents are my favorite love story. On their 50th wedding anniversary we had a surprise party for them. In the invitation we included a blank piece of paper and a self-addressed envelope. We asked everyone to write their favorite memory of our parents. We then made a book of all of the memories and presented it to them at their party. My mom and dad both said it was the best present they had ever gotten. I have that book of memories. I was telling my BBFF about it and he suggested that I share one of those memories each day of Valentines week. A brilliant idea from a brilliant friend, putting that Rice education to use. So I shall share a memory each day, I am going to start with my brother Jesse, since he is in heaven with them now it seems fitting. I hope you enjoy these memories as much as they did. I am also not correcting grammar, punctuation or spelling as I believe they are all charming the way they were written.

Date: Today

Name: Mine

Once upon a time there was a family. Mom, dad, Jim, Nell, Jesse, later, much later in life there came Angie. This family was the most and goodest for Jesse because he was the youngest of all the original three kids.

I have written this at least a hundred times fifty in my head and fifty on paper.

Memories well I wrote those once and it filled too many pages. I rember the times in the spring we would have boiled eggs and fried potatoes cooked over a fire on the creek bank not all moms would do that. I rember the trips to calif. and the stories told by dad of things before I began to remember. The memories of those long trips just our family are great.

Today I sit and look at my family and see our family of today in each day and action by each member

Memories I am living them through Robby, Ricky and Rhonda. I see every day what we kids did and I hope that the memories I treasure from my childhood one day will be exibited by my childern.

I look back now and say thank you for making me go to church. Showing me this non-nondescript mission on main street in Owasso. What I sometimes wonder is what in the world were we doing in Owasso when we lived in Vera, well I guess that is the way God works. To try to write what I really feel or remember.

I guess it is like Robby said if I write I love you in the middle of a sheet of paper it would really say what needs to be said.

Thank you for haveing a place of refuge for my new family while I was in the Navy. Knowing that they were in good hands enabled me to sleep well, when they would let me, and have peace of mind. Thanks for giving my wife and kids the love and guidance they have received in this last twenty years of my life. I will admit that it is much easier to live at home and depend on others for decisions (mom/dad may I) and finances than it ever has been sence Sept. 6, 1963.

In closing I just want to say mom, dad I do love you both more than can be written. Hope for another fifty

Jesse R. Testerman

Happy Birthday to Me

Good Morning and Happy Day After my Birthday! Yes, it is that time of year, February, the month I declare as mine. However, I find that I am sharing that month with some pretty spectacular women. More on them later, first up, in the immortal words of Toby Keith, I wanna talk about me.

The birthday celebrations started on Friday night, dinner with Alex, Elicia, Elizabeth and Tess. Wait, back up Thursday was Starbucks and a movie, the Upside, which was a good movie. i was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

Back to me, Saturday was spent catching up on Star Trek Discovery and not a lot else.

Sunday, my actual birthday, was lunch with Jeffrey, Amanda and children, then dinner with BBFF and his GF.

Turning 55 is not a lot different than 54, except I have learned a lot in that one year about myself and have seen the lives of friends changed for the better. Still no Dean Cain on the horizon, but I am ok with that, he will show up when God wants him to, not before or after. I am a firm believer in God’s timing not mine, my timing has always been off. 

I consider the past birthday year a win, now to see what God has in store for this one.

Now for the amazing women I share this month with, I want to let you all know they share so many awesome qualities.

They are all independent, hard working, free thinkers, they all think for themselves, They are fact gatherers and able to make decisions based on fact not emotion. I find that is a common trait of February people on the whole.

I am proud to share this month with them, I cannot think of better women to be associated with.

I took several days off from work to celebrate, well, me, I will go back refreshed and recharged and ready to tackle any and all problems.

I look forward to so many things coming up, I am also enjoying the now. I will sign off for now as I have to do something incredibly unpleasant. Which is resolving an issue that has been ongoing for several months. I may have a resolution, finally, but it does involve me actually visiting a store. So off I go.

I really want to thank every single person who went out of their way to make me feel special on the day of my birth. The phone calls, text messages, Facebook messages, dinners, presents and everything in-between made my day incredibly special. You all so totally rock!

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