Well here we are people the last day of 2012, I cannot say this year has been kind to me, however some really amazing things have happened. I am on the radio! Can you believe that! I still cannot believe my friend Shanon asked me to do the show with her. I am awestruck that someone had that much confidence in my ability to talk. Thank you so much Shanon for giving me such an amazing opportunity, I don’t have the words to express how much your belief in me means.
The Irishman was sick for almost all of 2012, we go into 2013 hopeful for continued recovery, it has been a rough year in that respect. But God is good and ever present and I believe led him to the right doctor to get him on the road to recovery.
My children are all healthy and doing well, I am so proud of all three, Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex; I literally do not know what kind of life I would have without them. They make everything better, when I see a text or call from one of them I smile and happily answer, except when I am at work Alex! I could not resist that, he knows what I mean.
As I look back at the past year I not only see the struggles, I see where I have been blessed beyond measure, I have my health, I have my wits, most of the time and I have amazing friends. I still do not understand what I ever did to deserve such amazing people in my life I am just grateful God saw fit to bring them to me.
I go into 2013 ever hopeful, not only for my life and the lives of my children, but for my friends and for the world. I go into 2013 with a positive attitude, with prayer for a better life and for continued growth, spiritually not physically, and with a renewed determination to make myself the best I can be. Without going into the Marines.
In my family the number 13 is a good luck number, we never really bought into the whole superstitious thing; we like to turn things around. I can only imagine what a whole year of 13 will bring.
So for Christmas Elizabeth gave me an ITunes gift card to download my two favorite albums that she stole. Tracey Lawrence and Kiss, well I have downloaded Tracey Lawrence and I cannot stop listening to it. I know what you are thinking, isn’t this the same singer that beat his wife in a hotel room in the ‘90’s. Yes, yes it is, however if the world can forgive Chris Brown the week after he beat the living daylights out of Rhianna, I figure it is time for us to forgive Tracey.
There is one song in particular that I love, Rebels, Renegades and Rogues, I have always considered myself a rebel and renegade, not so much a rogue. But what truly makes me a rebel, you ask, that is a good question. Well I have always gone against societal norms, as in I was and continue to be a girl nerd who knows fashion. An unusual combination, or used to be, not so much anymore, turns out I was a trail blazer, who knew. As for the renegade, well, I have never done what was expected, I drive fast, I rail against authority, not really, the last part, the first yes. Anyway if you are a country music fan I highly suggest you give Tracey Lawrence a try, some of my favorites are Alibis, Texas Tornado and If the Good Die Young.
I shall sign off for now, the next time I talk to you all it will be 2013, a new year, a new beginning, a new hope. See what I did there, I snuck a Star Wars reference in there, BBFF that was for you.
So Much
I don’t know where to start, there is so much in my head, let’s start with Christmas, I got the most fantastic presents, first off, Christmas Eve with my children and Tess was greatness as usual. The Irishman was missing as he had to work, but Freddy was there, laughter and good natured ribbing was the theme of the evening.
I got new pajamas from Elizabeth! It was such a surprise and was absolutely wonderful, see I get her pajamas every year and this year she got me some! Love it! I also got my favorite movie Gone with the Wind on BluRay, that was huge, and gift cards and new slipper socks, the huge coffee maker from Starbucks from the Irishman. I hope everyone liked what I got them.
I had the week off and I am going to be honest I did a lot of nothing, saw a movie with the Irishman, we went out to eat one evening, took care of the boys cats. That was about it, I have to go to work tomorrow then off for the rest of the week.
Last night, O.M.G, Shanon J called and said hey I am working the board tonight, let’s do the show live, at first I was all like, I’m not ready for live. Then something took over, and I sent a text that said I’m in. So down to the station I went and we did the show live! Not one blooper! It was amazing, I also met an amazing young man that is a youth minister at Antioch Baptist church in Dallas, he is going to be someone to watch. He has a show on Saturday nights as well and he brought a lot of people with him, they were all so nice. Their show is high energy, just fantastic.
I think I have a flesh eating disease, I base this on having a spot on my chest and on my nose, to wear my glasses I had to put a bandaid on my nose, I look like the total nerd that I actually am. Really embarrassing, so if anyone has any suggestions for dealing with a flesh eating disease please let me know.
Happy Christmas
Well Christmas has come and gone, I can finally talk about what I got my children for Christmas that I thought was so fantastic and could barely wait to give them. My mom, their grandmother, was amazing, she was smart, funny, kind and anyone who met her felt instantly at peace. She was also a published author, she was published a lot in a newspaper out of Kansas called Capper’s Weekly. Back in 1956 they asked for their readers to write about experiences in coming across the country in a covered wagon, they asked for family legends or first hand experiences. Some of the people who wrote in were in their 80’s and 90’s and told first hand experiences of coming across this great nation in a covered wagon. Well my mom wrote in, she wrote two stories, they accepted both of them, they printed the best stories that came in, my mom was the only one to have two stories printed in the book. This book goes in and out of print all the time. I was able to find the publisher and ask that they notify me when they put the book in print again. They did so this past summer, I was able to order each of my children their own copy, they now have a tangible part of their Grandma Testerman that they can keep their entire lives. I hope they cherish this as much as I enjoyed being able to find it for them. If you ever get a chance, check out the book, My Folks Came in a Covered Wagon, well worth the read. I feel we lose so much of what made this country truly great, the spirit of adventure, of survival, of exploration, my forbearers were explorers. They first came here from Prussia and moved all across this country, from Virginia to Missouri, to Upper State New York, to Oklahoma and all the way to California. I think my children have this sense of exploration, they love going places and seeing different things, they may have a double dose as their father’s side came here from Italy, went to Chicago and landed in Oklahoma, along the way moved to all different places in this country and abroad. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and checked out the tips Shanon J and I gave on the show and put on the website http://www.convosate.com, we will next be talking about how to survive New Years as a singleton.
Busy
So yesterday was a really great day, I got off work at 9:00 AM then off to record with Shanon, man the show turned out great, I hope you all tune in. Then it was picking up the Irishman to pick up our Christmas present we bought each other. It is a flat screen for the bedroom, I don’t know all the specifics but it looks pretty.
Then we went out to dinner with his girls, then I took his girls to get some new outfits, I noticed the youngest one was literally bursting at the seems. Not a good look on anyone, much less a nine year old, so new pants for her.
Then the rest of the evening watching my new TV, you all know how I feel about television, it is my friend, my comforter, my solace. Don’t judge, we each have our own vices, and yes I know I have many, television, coffee, chocolate and of course shoes.
Today will be filled with shopping, then Tess, cannot wait to pick that girl up from school and have an adventure. Not much to write today, in fact will probably not be back here until Christmas day, I will be very busy up until that point.
So Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day, since it is not night.
Humanity
I am self medicating this morning, with strong doses of coffee and music from my era, Boston, Journey, Andy Gibb and of course The Bay City Rollers. Some mornings these things are needed more than others, this is one of those. Last night was good, I stopped by my friend Wanda’s after work and that is always a good time. I told her my Scott Baio story; I thought she was going to pass out from laughing so hard. It’s a good story and I tell it well, if you are a really good friend and offer me a cookie I might tell you the story.
This morning is really good coffee, the Irishman made it, and yes Jess, I am too lazy to make my own darn coffee. He makes it better than I do, I don’t even know how he does it, he will not reveal his secret to me. I will ferret it out, never fear, Angie is on the job.
Today is sweater dress and boot day; if you are following me on Twitter or Instagram you can see the boots. Oh I posted on Facebook as well, I do love my boots. Seriously, is there anything better than a really good sweater dress and boots? I love boot season! I ordered two new sweater dresses I hope they get here soon. Sweater dress season only lasts a minute here in Texas; I plan on taking full advantage. Soon I will be too old for sweater dresses; no one wants to see an 80 year old woman in a sweater dress. Ugh. I know I don’t want to see myself at that age dressed inappropriately.
Right now I am listening to America, Daisy Jane, I seriously love that song, it can do no wrong in my eyes, or ears I should say. You all should listen to it, it really is amazing, if you do listen please share your thoughts on the song with me.
I have decided to focus on the positive that I see in people, acts of kindness that restore my faith in mankind. It’s easier this time of year to find those acts of kindness because everyone wants to do something at Christmas, I do believe I will hold off on my search until January, after the warm fuzzy thoughts of Christmas time have passed. 2013 will be the year of humanity; I have to believe that, the year that we truly look at each other and see that we are all the same. No matter the color of our skin, the religion we practice, we all want the same things in life. A better life for our children than we had safety, love, compassion and understanding. I shall strive to be a better human in 2013 that is my New Years resolution; I rarely make them due to the fact that I cannot keep them. However I am confident I can keep this one. I am not quite sure how I will become a better human as I am a pretty darn good one right now. I shall keep you posted on my efforts.
Hair, Christmas and Stuff
I am trying to decide what to do with my hair; I need to have it done, cut, color the whole nine yards. It has blond in it now, I have officially been every color except black, I have never had black hair. I do believe I am too pale for black hair, I would look like a Goth person, not saying that is a bad thing, it just would make me look, well, silly.
I know what you are thinking, with everything that has happened the past few days how can I sit here and write about inconsequential things. Well, I don’t want to write about my feelings on what has happened it makes me incredibly sad. I have chosen to not partake in the conversation about gun control and who is to blame. I choose instead to write about things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of life.
So back to my hair, when I was a red head I enjoyed it, however I am really pale, my own dark brown suits me, probably because that is what God intended, however, my theory is, if he wanted me to stay that color he would not have created all of these wonderful colors. I really like the blond, I don’t know why but I feel like it suits me, personality wise, I have found that people don’t expect nearly as much from you when you have the blond in your hair. Maybe that is what I need now, low expectations of me; however I can only keep that up for so long. Then the original brown haired girl rears her head, oh maybe a warm caramel color, something in-between. I totally need to think about this, I liked when my hair was purple, but I am a little long in the tooth for that now, perhaps when I am 90, then people will just think I am eccentric and not weird.
I so cannot wait until after Christmas and I can tell you all what I got my children for Christmas, I am so excited. I really hope they love it and will cherish it the way I do, I have been sitting on this since the summer, it’s hard keeping it a secret for so long. I am not good at keeping presents a secret, when I buy it I want to give it!
So Thursday at 9:00 am CST I will be free, I will be running out of this building to finish my shopping, buying the food for our Christmas Eve feast and wrapping presents. Don’t forget Conversations with Shanon J and Angie B, which will be on this week as well. I am getting some great feedback from listeners, remember if you have missed any of our shows you can catch up on http://www.convosate.com and subscribe to our podcast on ITunes. For those last minute gift ideas check out our shop, you can get all kinds of goodies there.
Honesty
With all of the sadness that is being felt by America this week I don’t want to talk about it. I am instead going to talk about something else, something that I have been thinking about for a while.
Hugh Hefner, yes you read correctly, I have been thinking about him lately, well, his character.
You see I was a huge fan of The Girls Next Door, I don’t know why, but I was, and I was fascinated. How did this man get these beautiful women, throughout his whole life. Of course growing up I was aware of Playboy and the bunny, the brand, who didn’t want something with that bunny on it. Growing up Freewill Baptist of course I never got anything with that bunny on it.
We were all aware of his women, we were aware when he became serious with one, it made the news, Barbie Benton comes to mind, the whole world just knew they were going to be together for life. It was a sad day when they broke up. And we were sad, there is no explanation why we have watched this man and his relationships the way that we have.
The thing I have learned from watching him is this, he is honest, he is perhaps the most honest man in America. He tells women flat-out, this is the way I live my life, this is my belief system if that is not acceptable to you tell me now. And the women flock to him, we have seen some want to change him, they have not been successful, we have seen some want to use him, they have fallen by the wayside and we have seen some genuinely love him and him genuinely love them back.
I am like Hugh Hefner in the fact that I am honest about who I am, what I expect from people, I tell them upfront this is who I am, this is my belief system and it is not going to change. I expect loyalty, fidelity, honesty and above all I expect the person I am with to be who they are as well.
I do not enjoy being around people who are fake, I enjoy very real people, that is probably the reason I am so fascinated by Mr Hefner. He is now engaged, again, to Crystal Harris, I, along with the rest of America watched him try this last year. He is ever the optimist, another reason I am fascinated with him, he has found love, he never gave up on this woman and now they are going to give it a go again.
I say hats off to him, at his age being this optimistic with love, and folks being who he is, he has no other reason to marry.
I find myself, at a certain age, engaged to be married, no wedding date set, we did have one, but that got pushed aside for various reasons. I am more cynical than Heff, (don’t you like how I call him that, like I know him) I am waiting, for what I am not certain. I have been engaged now for three years, well it will be three years on New Years Eve, perhaps I will just stay this way. One never knows, I have thought of getting married on my parent’s wedding anniversary, January 13, this is a good luck day in our family. My parents were married 59 years before my dad passed. I also learned honesty from them, they were always true to themselves and each other.
I believe everyone should stay true to themselves, and if you are with someone, true to each other, whatever that means to the both of you. I shall continue to remain true to myself and to my fiance, I am fiercely loyal you see, once I make a commitment I stick it out to the end.
Thoughts
I love Christmas, I do believe I have said that before, I say it a lot, because I do, sincerely, with my whole heart. However, this time of year is hard, it is hard on a lot of people for a lot of different reasons, for me it is because I miss so many people. I tend to be more nostalgic this time of year, thinking back to Christmas’ past, where I perceived things to have been perfect. Mostly pulling memories from my childhood, I remember Christmas spent at my grandparents, when all of my cousins would be there, I don’t really remember the presents, I remember the warmth. The joy, the merriment of all of us being together. I remember how happy I would get when my cousins Cindy and Pat would walk through the door. I remember the smells of the food, I remember the laughter of the adults and the hugs from my grandpa and my favorite aunts and uncles.
The thing that I love doing the most at Christmas time I have not done in years, it is the only activity that really requires someone to do it with you. I love looking at Christmas lights, however if you drive around alone you just look like your casing places. I used to take my children, but then one year all three of them told me they hated doing it. So I stopped torturing them and I have not gone since. I miss it, I really do love seeing the lights and playing Christmas music on the radio, however, it is the one thing I will not do alone. It just looks and feels weird, I have no one to do it with me, so it makes me sad to not do it, and that is when emotion overtakes me.
We have our celebration on Christmas Eve, this year will be no different, I often wonder if there will come a day when my children tell me they no longer want to do that. I hope not, I will miss that terribly, if that ever happens I will probably stop celebrating all together. I don’t say this to have anyone feel sorry for me, it is just a simple fact.
i have not put up my tree this year, I probably wont, there is no one here besides me that would enjoy it anyway, so why bother. I have a couple of Santa’s that I have out year round, they belonged to my good friend Sandi, I don’t put them up because they remind me of her and it comforts me.
This year will all of the horror in the world, I hope everyone takes the time to tell the people who are important to them that they love them and how much they mean to them.
Not So Good Start
Hate, four letters, strong emotion, the question is do we truly hate something or someone. For example I say I hate sunshine, but I really don’t deep in my soul hate it, I am disdainful of it, but the strong emotion of hate, no. I can say without a doubt I hate liver, I hate lies, I hate the fact that I have to work so hard to not be obese.
As for people, there really is no one that I hate, that level of emotion just takes too much out of me and to be honest it ages me. I hate no one, even the people that have wronged me, more than anything I pity them, they will never know the joy of being friends with me. Their lives will be empty because of who they are and how they behave in life, there is nothing there to hate, everything to pity.
I loath certain behaviors that humans exhibit, loathing and hating are two different emotions, much less energy to loath than to hate. To hate requires a level of intensity that I simply cannot fathom achieving, too much work. If you hate with that kind of intensity, well, hats off to you, it’s a lot of hard work and dedication.
I did not get to stop at Starbucks this morning, I am all out of sorts and can’t really think straight, I am ready for my lunch break so I can go to Starbucks and truly wake up. It is sad being addicted to something that is so amazing, and hard to resist, still deciding on what I want, a 0 point count Passion Tea or a non fat Caramel Brulee treat. Ugh. I need help.
Snow = God’s Love
I think by now you all know how I feel about snow, it is the great equalizer, it makes everything it touches beautiful and pristine. It is simply perfection, it is God’s tangible proof He loves me that is my belief. Even a little snow makes me happy, on Monday, here in North Texas, God sent a message, He sent snow, to give a message of hope. It was a smattering, not enough to cover the rooftops, but it was enough. Enough to start my week off the right way, to let me know that everything is going to be ok.
As the week goes on I am reminded daily that I am loved and everything will turn out ok, as my grandmother used to say, it all comes out in the wash. It all works out in the end, and in the end it really doesn’t matter. She had a way with words.
I have not had sugar this week at all, well, natural sugar in the form of fruit, but that is acceptable, I have had no processed sugar. I have had no artificial sweeteners, no diet cokes, I can tell my body feels better, but my taste buds want sugar, my brain wants sugar, my whole being wants sugar. I shall persevere, I will not give in, I will not eat sugar. Until Christmas.
Today is my Thursday, tomorrow is my Friday, and I am going to go with hot Passion tea for my Starbucks treat, no Snowman cookie, nothing sweet, it will be fine. I have some amazing news, I have not been sick in 13 months; I have not had a sniffle, a fever, stomach bug, nothing. I know my doctor has forgotten who I am at this point because I have not seen him in over a year. This is amazing; I usually get sick twice a year, like clockwork, but not this year. Not since getting off of the artificial sweetener and moving to local honey. I don’t know if there is a real correlation, however I am going to take it.
Angie World 