Ponderings

I haven’t posted in a few days because, well, one day I was very tired, the next very busy, then tired, then busy, it is just a vicious cycle. I am still trying to get into the swing of my new schedule, this past Wednesday was spent recording with Shanon J for our Easter show airing tonight on KHVN Dallas/Ft Worth station, you can find it on the Tunein Radio app, so please listen.
I am currently sitting here watching It’s Complicated, I love this movie, I think Meryl Streep is just fantastic and pairing her with Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin is nothing short of genius. I think it says a lot about how complicated divorce is, and how it seriously affects the family when the man leaves the mother for another woman. Even into adulthood it showed how the children feel about it. It also shows how long the woman feels the after effects of the cheating. I don’t like the moment in the movie where Meryl Streeps’ character sleeps with her ex. I don’t think that is an accurate portrayal. I do not think there are a lot of wronged women having sex with their ex. I could be wrong about this, however, I don’t believe I am. I hope I am not wrong about this, why would you go back to someone who has done this? After you have moved on? Gotten a divorce, it’s been 10 years, and the other person is married to someone else. Who does this? It makes for good entertainment, but that is it, entertainment. I don’t believe people should do this in real life. I don’t believe people should cheat on each other, I find cheating abhorrent, I don’t believe God intended for man to do this. Oh wow, look it’s in the top 10, it’s a biggie folks, so if you are doing this, stop, now, immediately. Get on your knees and beg God’s forgiveness, fortunately you can do that, and He will forgive.
That’s it, must get ready, big, busy day today, going with Elizabeth Anne for an adventure, then off to see the Irishman lose his hair and beard.

Weekend Ponderings

Friday night we had a Ladies that Lunch gathering, only instead of lunch it was evening snack things. I like when we do these things on a Friday night because some women that cannot come on Saturday afternoons get to come to the Friday evening ones.
Of course I had to do a blatant self promotion and remind everyone about Conversations with Shanon J and Angie B. A couple of the women didn’t know about it, so I gave the website to listen to past shows and gave them the station call letters to listen life. In case you missed it, http://www.convosate.com to listen to past shows, and KHVN 970 AM for local listeners in the Dallas/FW area.
So, when everyone was leaving I had the opportunity to speak with one of the ladies I don’t get to see that often. We were catching up and she asked me how I came to have the opportunity to be on the radio. I gave her the brief story of how Shanon and I had been friends for years and she is the one that had enough faith in me to actually let me speak on the radio.
In the course of the conversation I mentioned the one we did on men and women and friendship, she asked me if I thought that men and women could be friends after having had a dating relationship. My answer, is no, after a person has had a romantic relationship with someone, whether it has been physical or not, it was romantic in nature. I do not believe that men and women can have a friendship after that. Let me tell you why, it will always get in the way, it will always be awkward, you can never introduce anyone to them because they will know.
I find this particularly troublesome, because it is easy to fall back into those kinds of relationships and it is inappropriate. No one needs that kind of stress in a relationship, so there you have it, I do not believe that once you have been in a romantic relationship you can go backwards and have a friendship.
That was my Friday night in a nutshell. Saturday was much quieter, laundry and a movie with the Irishman, we saw Gerard Butler, he totally rocks.
Sunday, Dinner/Lunch with Elizabeth Anne, the work on Monday morning, this week I shall have a 3 day work week, Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I get to have Tess Thursday night and Friday, so excited! I don’t know what we will do but it will be an adventure!

Dream

I woke at 3am unable to get back to sleep, I got up and turned off the timer on the coffee maker and am having coffee, I will be having a lot of coffee. Forewarned is forearmed.
I woke from a bad dream, i have not had a bad dream in a really long time, this one, i believe was particularly telling. I was in Colorado, which is usually a happy dream, however in my dream I had gone there to recover. I’m not sure what happened to me, but I looked pretty mangled. I was all hunched over and my hand was all curled up, my right hand. I was in a house, with stairs, which I could not get up, so i was pretty much housebound. Then came a huge snow storm, which, once again is usually a happy dream for me. However this time I could not fend for myself, I couldn’t go to the yard and get firewood when the power went out and had a hard time making myself something to eat.
There was a knock on the door and a man was standing there, I don’t know what he looked like, he said the town sent me to take care of you during the storm. So, of course, I did in my dream what I would really do in real life. I said, I’m fine, I don’t need any help.
I woke at that point, I woke with an overwhelming sense of sadness, you have to understand, I am rarely sad, like ever. Even when I think of my deceased parents, I miss them, especially my mom, but I am so happy that I will see them again.
I know I go on a lot about snow, it is a metaphor for me, it tells me God loves me, and as silly as that seems, it is what it is. I have not had snow in a couple of years, I am feeling stressed, an overwhelming sense of sadness had enveloped me.
I believe that God was talking to me in the dream, telling me He is always here, I don’t need snow to remind me of His amazing love for me. Also to accept help when it is offered, which is a hard lesson for me, I am incredibly independent and have been my entire life. It is hard for me to accept help, I will try to be more open to that.
Today is Friday, a real Friday, so I shall be obtaining Starbucks on my way to work, I do believe I have earned it with my rough night. Also, party at Wanda’s tonight! Woo and Hoo!!

Queen vs Princess, Which are You?

I find myself irritated a lot lately, and as usual I am going to share my irritation with all of you. On Facebook, naturally, I have been seeing a lot of posts from women who want to be treated like a princess. I look at those posts and think why, why a princess. I am an adult woman, I do not, in any way shape or form wanted to be treated like a princess. Princesses are normally children, they are told what to do, what to wear, what to eat, how to behave.
I am not ok with that. I don’t want to be a princess, I want to be a queen, and I want to be treated as such. I like making my own decisions about what I wear, eat, drink, think and how to behave, if I wanted a man to treat me like a princess I would be way more whiny and childlike.
I have a theory, if a woman wants to be treated like a princess she will find a man who will treat her that way, if she wants to be treated like a queen, the man who deserves her will find her.
I never wanted to have someone tell me how to behave or what to do, I always wanted an equal partner, a king if you will, that was worthy enough to rule with me.
I was watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (don’t judge) and one of the housewives, Yolanda, was practically accosted by her husbands ex-wife. They were at a party and the woman was telling a group of people that Yolanda treated her husband like a king. She was being derisive by the way. Yolanda told the woman, of course I treat him like a king, why not when he treats me as a queen.
I thought, that’s it, that is the way it should be, husbands and wives treating each other like royalty, ruling the household with equal power.
that is what God intended when He created man and woman, he created Eve from a rib bone, not a heel bone, or head bone. A rib bone, side by side, man and woman would rule over their domain. When did everything become so mixed up?

Tell it Like it is Day

I have several thoughts right now, one I am saving, the other is this, if you don’t want people to comment on your life do not put it out for all to see on social media. When you put your life out there and tell all on Facebook, Twitter, or whatever then people get to make comments. Period. It’s the way of life these days, perhaps people should start thinking of keeping some things to themselves, or tell friends in person, face to face as it were. I suggest you choose a diverse group, not just people who will agree with you. When I face tough issues I like to confer with people who will tell it to me straight, no mincing words, sometimes we need people to be harsh with us. Tell the truth even if we don’t want to hear it.
My daughter, Elizabeth Anne is like that, if you tell her something, she will tell you the truth, she will not sugar coat it, you will get the unvarnished opinion of this young woman. Hmmm, sounds like she has a double dose of both mine and her father’s personality.
I am enjoying today, I will be leaving here shortly to go spend some time with one of my favorite people, Wanda, she got a new computer and I am going to help her set it up. So excited!
I have a confession to make, I started watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta, huge mistake, I am now sucked in, Lord help me. I have to tell you I am really liking Nene Leaks, that woman minces no words, tells it like it is, owns her past, and puts up with no-nonsense. Count me as a fan.

More Funeral Songs

Well here we are, my first Friday of the week, yes, I have two Fridays in the week, I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. I know what you are thinking, when is Starbucks day. Well it will be on the real Friday of the week. I will be getting Passion tea for now.
I am sitting here listening to the immortal words of the Bay City Rollers, my very first boy band love; I want at least one of their songs played at my funeral. I can’t decide which; I think Bye Bye Baby will be to cliché. Maybe I’m a Fool to Love You is definitely in the running, along with Dedication, oh, Rock and Roll Love Letter, so many to choose from. Maybe I will choose several; one can never have too many Bay City Roller songs played.
No weapon formed against me shall prosper, I’m more than a conqueror, I love that line in the song Stomp. Another song I’ll have at my funeral, Elizabeth Anne I hope you are taking notes, because I will depend on you to make sure it all is just like I want.
This past weekend was jam packed, a very enjoyable lunch with Alexander on Friday, car wouldn’t start in the parking lot of Target, until Alex touched it and then of course it magically starts. Then downtown for the Mary Kay Career Conference Friday night and Saturday, no sleep was had Friday night. Then Saturday evening I took the Irishman’s girls to play with Tess, pizza and movie night was in store for the girls.
Sunday was spent trying to do everything I normally do in three day, did not get done, I have so much laundry to do, I hate doing laundry, with a passion, however since I am the only one that does it in my house and I can’t afford all new clothes I guess I will have to do it.
I have done something to my right hand, my thumb to be exact, I don’t know what is wrong with it, but it is swollen and hurts. So, I did the only thing I could do, I bought an ace bandage for the thumb, it is actually called a thumb stabilizer. Hopefully this will help it heal, whatever I have done to it, crazy nuts, that’s what it is. I looked it up on WebMD and according to the site I have MS, not a good thing, I hope it’s not that.
This past Saturday was a new episode of Conversations with Shanon J and Angie B, I am incredibly proud of this one. It is about single parent dating, as anyone who knows me, knows this is my irritation in life. Parents, really mothers, behaving badly, remember moms you reap what you sow. A very real thing, if you have not heard the show, you can listen from our website http://www.convosate.com, we have an in studio guest who will either tell me I am way off the mark in my thinking or will actually give me affirmation I have been right all along.

Facebook Drama

Today is my last Thursday as a Friday, I will miss it, I admit I have become spoiled; however, I shall enjoy my Wednesdays off as well.
This weekend will not be an easy one, I am going to the Mary Kay Career Conference at the convention center, I know you are wondering why this will be difficult. I have not been back to the Dallas convention center since Sandi passed away. This was the last place I got to spend significant time with her, at Mary Kay Seminar, before her passing. I am both looking forward to going and dreading the emotions it will bring to the surface. I still miss her so much, there is so much in my life that I would love to tell her, get her sage advice, and hear that wisdom one more time.
I shall not be alone in my adventure, Wanda and Louise will be there as well, we will have each other to lean on.
On to other happenings, apparently I have caused some Facebook drama, I try not to do this, however I unknowingly caused this. Last night Elizabeth Anne calls me and says mom, why did you friend so and so, I said I don’t even know who that is. What are you talking about? Apparently I clicked or touched or maybe by mind control inadvertently hit a button and friended someone I didn’t even know but knows my ex-husband. The only thing I can think of is she must have “liked” one of my pictures that I tagged Elizabeth in and I looked to see who she was, why, because I don’t know her. At that point clicked or touched where I should not have. I apologize if this caused any anxiety on the innocent bystanders.
However, here is my pet peeve, if you don’t know the person who posted the picture, don’t like it, or comment on it. If you do, something like this could happen, I don’t know you, I don’t want your comments on my photos. It is as simple as that, I never, ever, comment on something someone has posted that I don’t know. Simply because you have tagged a friend of mine does not give me the right to comment on your Facebook, I am asking for the same respect. That way you don’t run the risk of me accidently friending you.
There, done, going now, enjoy your Thursdays people, I will talk to you after Career Conference.

Darkness

I am looking forward to this weekend, I have my Mary Kay Career Conference, there are four of us going from my group. This weekend will be very busy, I look forward to having next Wednesday off so I can rest, I foresee a mani/pedi in my future.
So, this past weekend, Elizabeth Anne told me a story involving her dad, it was so funny; I literally could not catch my breath I was laughing so hard. The really bad part of this is I can’t tell anyone the story! She would not be happy with me if I did. During the course of the conversation I said yeah unfortunately your dad has no filter. She said mom, neither do you, I said yes I do, she said no you don’t, I said yes I do! She looked at me and said mom, your eyes don’t even have filters. I have been thinking a lot about this exchange, she is right, I know I can convey my thoughts with just a look. It’s a gift, sometimes a curse, but there is no hiding my feelings or thoughts.
It’s a simple thing, to be transparent, to always say what one thinks; actually it’s a pretty great way to live. No one has to guess what is going on in my head; no one has to wonder what I really think of them. If I respect you, then you will know it, if I like you, you will know it, if I despise everything you stand for, and you will know it.
Loyalty and honesty, that is what I prize above all else, if you have those qualities I will be your friend, if you live a dishonest life, well it shows. You reap what you sow, those are very true words, what one does in secret it will come out, all things done in darkness come to light. Even on television, whatever lies people tell, whatever dirty deeds are done, it always comes to light. There are reasons why the stories are written that way, because it always comes to the light.
People never learn, throughout time, they never learn, from biblical times to now, I seriously don’t understand how people live their lives in the dark. Perhaps once they are caught doing whatever it is they are doing they are relieved, maybe they want to get caught, they get sloppy. Time and time again, you see it in the news, books, movies, people get sloppy, then they get caught.
So the moral of the story is stop doing bad things in the cover of darkness, because you will get caught.

Changes

So this weekend, while I was spending time with Elizabeth Anne, she asked if I had been listening to Kidd Kraddick. I said no, I had been sick; she was like I cannot believe you missed Love Letters to Kellie. She then went on to tell me about a letter, a man, writing in to tell Kellie his wife had lost weight and he didn’t like it. She had been 275 pounds when they got married and now she was 200. He was angry, he married a fatty and that was what he wanted, his words, not mine. He missed his pillow, which was what he said; he wanted to know how he could make her gain the weight back. Hmmm, odd, usually it is men wanting their women to lose weight.
It seems that when a man says I love you just the way you are, he means it, there is no room for change, losing weight, hair color change or the onset of wrinkles. Men should be honest, tell women from the onset, listen, this is the way I found you, I don’t want any changes, it doesn’t matter how many children you have, you need to remain the same. And whatever happens don’t get wrinkles, don’t lose/gain weight just never change.
Men on the other hand can let themselves go; they lose their hair, get beer bellies, and a host of other things. Doesn’t matter, we are expected to remain by their sides, but society believes it is ok for a man to trade a woman in on something new, seemingly improved, different.
What happened to loyalty? How are these men bred? Who breeds them? What kind of parent raises a son to adulthood with the thought that they should just go through life wrecking havoc, tossing aside loyal women simply because their bodies change?
At times there is the exception to the rule, not all men do this, however the majority do, we see it all the time, especially in Hollywood. Women are tossed aside for the new and exciting; however, in Hollywood women have attorneys and can exact vengeance. Take Demi Moore, she is furious at being tossed aside and embarrassed by Ashton Kutcher, she is exacting monetary revenge.
I don’t know what the answer is, all I know is I wish men were honest creatures, by nature most are not. I for one am tired of hearing I love you just the way you are, it is a half lie, they do love you the way you are in the moment they meet you. If you want to stay with your chosen one whatever you do, don’t change. EVER.
Once again there are exceptions to the rule, no hate mail please.

Weekend Update

This weekend was a little busy after a week of not doing anything but trying to get better. Friday I actually went to the grocery store because I ran out of soup, it felt strange leaving the house. I had not left since going to the doctor on Tuesday. That wore me out, so back home to rest, put groceries away, rest again, put more away, rest some more, then bed. I know, my exciting life can barely be contained.
Saturday was movie date day, the Irishman and I went to see Oz the Great and Powerful, I enjoyed it. I thought the movie was a lot of fun, very much in the spirit of the Oz books. That wore me out, so back home to continue recovery.
Sunday was spent in Bonham, I actually went to see my amazing daughter and her “children” the baby chicks are doing nicely. I took Nocona with me so she could visit with her other furry friends; saw Mickey, who is going to be 20 this year. He is still feisty, I can’t believe that cat is doing so well; I still remember when we got him and his brother Arthur. I still miss Arthur; our pets really do become our family members, especially in this family. We become very attached, they have personality, they are loyal and never reveal our secrets. Way better than some humans I know.
Sunday was also dinner date night, or I should say evening, we had old people’s dinner, it was a very nice ending to the weekend.
I have nothing huge to announce, this past weeks show is not up yet on the site, you all will have to wait for it. It is worth the wait, believe me, we had a great guest, very powerful and wise words. If you did not get to listen live, you will totally want to catch it when it posts.
This coming Saturday is going to be really good; we have Pastor Purvey back in studio discussing dating while being a single parent. As most of you know I did not date while my children were growing up, I felt it was best for our family. I didn’t believe they needed the unsettling life of never knowing who was going to be there. I knew I was not going to get re-married while they were still at home, so why date, why introduce my children to someone who was not going to be around long term. Shanon and I wanted to know what effects it has on the children when this does go on and who better to ask than a youth minister who sees the after effects. It is a fantastic conversation and I cannot wait to share it with everyone.