Obsessions

I find myself obsessed with a few things lately, first off is the song Save Me by Foreigner. I had no idea this song existed until a few days ago. I am obsessed now, it is brilliant and I will be playing it at my wedding to Dean Cain. I really hope he never finds my blog.

Second, A Sandwich and some Lovin podcast, it is so awesome, find it and listen. You will not be sorry.

Coffee, always and forever, I can’t seem to stop myself from buying coffee beans when I find something interesting or on sale.

Pajamas, for so long, I have so many, it is a sickness, I probably need help.

My obsessions are probably pretty harmless, unless that restraining order comes or I end up on Dateline. I can see the title of that show: Woman hopped up on caffeine shows up on Dean Cain’s doorstep in a wedding dress. It will not be pretty folks, I will be one sobbing mess as they haul me off.

This week is my week with Tess, it is our traditional week in the summer. I am going to enjoy this week, she is 11 now and I know the time is coming fast where she will want to be with her friends more than her grandmother. I will relish whatever time she wants to spend with me.

I asked her what she wanted to do and she said be lazy, well, unbeknownst to her, I have some things planned. I hope she likes them.

I foresee lots of popcorn, Netflix, Hulu and laughter, we laugh a lot when we are together. She is a funny girl and her sense of humor is just getting stronger as she gets older. We are all pretty funny, so it is genetic, as is sarcasm, she seems to have inherited that as well. Thank goodness.

That’s all I got for now, I will probably not post again until after my fun filled week with Tess. Everyone have a great week and get out and enjoy the Texas heat. (insert sarcasm emoji here).

Stalker Alert

Happy Friday the 13th! My favorite days of the year, for a myriad of reasons. First off, it is a good luck day in my family, as many of you know, my parents were married on a Friday the 13th. I wanted my son, Alex to be born on the 13th, but that was a Saturday the year he was born and since it was a scheduled c-section my doctor said no. He was not coming in on a Saturday for that reason. So, there ya have it.

So here I sit, on a Friday the 13th, excited for the day and all that it will bring.

Having said all of that, I have news, I, officially have a stalker. A few months back, at work, I sent a business customer an email (work, all work related) his information, it was a complicated issue and he asked that I email him the information when I had taken care of the issue. It took hours, it was very involved and I had no issue doing so.

Fast forward several months (yes, months) later, I open my company email yesterday morning and there is an email from that customer. It said, don’t take offense but you are gorgeous. At first I thought it was spam, sometimes the firewall doesn’t catch it, some does get through. Then I noticed it was a reply to me, to the original email I sent.

I asked a person who does our support, hey are our pictures on our outgoing email. He said yes, I said since when! He said, Angie, several years.

Then in my personal email I get a notification from LinkedIn saying someone has viewed my profile. It was this guy! I was like what the heck. So apparently he has been staring at that picture for months.

Not only that, but my last name is unusual, I am easily found if you have that information. So now I’m a little freaked out. Time to batten down the hatches and go into hiding. Does anyone know how to delete a LinkedIn account?

Other than that, not a lot new, next week will be spent with Tess, I am very excited about that, so much fun will be had.

I am off to get dressed and shop for Granddaughters birthday party. Have a great Friday the 13th!

As usual any comments can be left here or sent to me at angie@angieworld.com.

Happy Birthday Thomas Alexander Graham Bell

Today is my youngest child’s birthday, I so cannot believe he is 27. Right now, this very moment he is literally half my age.

I still remember finding out I was pregnant with him. It was shocking to say the least. But in the best possible way.

Alex you were a huge surprise, the best surprise a parent could ever have. You continue to surprise me with your generosity, kindness, your take charge personality. Sometimes you are larger than life itself. I am constantly amazed by you and all you have been through and all you have accomplished in your short time here on this planet.

I love you so much, I feel words are not enough to express to you how much I love you and how much you enhanced our family just by your existence.

Happy Birthday son.

Morose

Ok, so, I have effectively found myself in an odd place to be. The next few sentences might sound like I am fully taking credit for something, and you would not be wrong thinking that.

I am taking credit for my BBFF finding an amazing GF, and my BFF finding an amazing man. I don’t know if they are officially BF/GF yet, so I won’t label it as so, until I get the official word.

So, thanks to me they have love lives.

I do not, apparently I can help others, I simply cannot help myself.

The other night I started thinking about it (very dangerous territory), a lot, I came to the conclusion that no one has ever been in love with me. Oh people love me, my children, my granddaughter, friends, family, but I am talking romantic love.

Well, maybe Kent King, I think he did, with his whole teenage heart. But that’s it for me. I was 17 the last time someone was in love with me.

I admit I got a little teary eyed, then the cat jumped in my lap. He thought my tears were meat tenderizer, I said not today Fat Catstard, not today. My face is staying where it is, you will not feast as of yet. He looked me right in the eyes. I stared him down, he jumped down and sauntered off.

It is now too late for me, I wasted my 40’s with a person who didn’t love me. I don’t consider my 20’s being wasted as I have three of the most amazing children on the planet earth.

I read a book recently where one of the characters had missed her chance with the love of her life. They reunited as adults in their 50’s. The love was there but the white hot passion of youth was of the past.

She had the opportunity to go back in time and change things. She took the chance.

She did change things and spent her life with the love of her life and she did have the passion of youth with him.

Thinking of my life I would go back, but not that far, I would only go to 2009 and change things. There is nothing else I would change, I want to keep the children I have.

I’m done being morose, the cat will not be feasting on my face for the time being.

I know I talk a lot about Dean Cain. I don’t think I can ever meet him in person. If I do I would probably be rendered mute, instantly. I would embarrass myself greatly and I would never recover, like ever.

So there we have it, no meeting Dean for me unless I can work on controlling my geeky tendencies and not go all fan girl on him. I will only have one chance to impress him and make him fall head over heels in love with me. So that is the quandary, do I take that chance or just live with unrequited love?

As usual any comments can be left here or sent to angie@angieworld.com

Foreigner 4 Answers All Questions in Life

Since this seems to be a music filled week and weekend, I will continue in that vein.

I have an ultimate favorite album of all time, yes, one, I know, unprecedented. I usually say they are all my favorite, I don’t like any of the songs to feel left out. Yet, a favorite I do have. I know I have written about this before, but I feel a need to write about it again.

In my opinion Foreigner 4 is the best album of all time, it answers every question there ever was or could be in life.

Every song on there answers a pertinent question in life. Please allow me to elaborate:

Night Life answers the age old question, day or night, what kind of person are you. Give me the night life, as in I hate the bright sun of summer. Bring on the night with the cooler temperatures. The main attraction is the moon and the stars, I am quite enamored by them. Living where I do now affords me the privilege of seeing them in all their glory.

What do you want to be when you grow up? A Juke Box Hero of course, every time I hear the song I want to go out and purchase a beat up six string. I may do that today. What could be better than that? Do they still make Juke Boxes?

Let’s say you are in a relationship, and it is not going smoothly. Break it up is the perfect song, don’t break it up, make it up. Of course if it is really going badly, then break it up. So totally break it up.

What are you waiting for? A girl like you, or more accurately, Dean Cain is waiting for a girl like me. Trust me there is no one on earth like me and he is so going to sing this song to me at our wedding.

Luanne doesn’t really make sense, I do believe Dean will change that to Angie. If you are someone else, just change the name to someone you love. Write letters you will never send. Don’t stalk though, that is illegal, unless you are me and the other person is Dean.

When do you call someone in the middle of the night? When it’s Urgent, of course. Trust me, if I had Dean Cain’s number I would call him all hours of the day. I can really feel that restraining order coming my way.

What are you going to do in life? I’m gonna win, of course, I got no time to sit and wonder. I gotta stand up, I gotta face it, I’m gonna win. Of course I am quoting the lyrics, I am so not original with this. Still, go out and win at life, whatever that looks like for you. Right now, sitting with my coffee, I am winning at life.

What to wear today? Woman in Black, question answered, there we have it, the guess work gone. Just wear black, I believe that is for men and women.

Where is your girl? Why she is on the moon, naturally, you dream of her, yet she is not reachable. Why? Because she is on the moon.

Another relationship song, Don’t Let Go, every time I think of giving up on the Dean Cain dream I recall this song. Don’t Let Go, and I don’t. Foreigner called it, every time, don’t let your pride or common sense get in the way. Just keep hanging on, eventually one will end up in a special place, with nice doctors and orderlies or will end up with the actual Dean Cain.

So there we have it folks, Foreigner 4 is a classic album that answers all of the questions for the ages.

Any questions or comments can be left here or you can reach me at angie@angieworld.com.

The Bay City Rollers

Yesterday, speaking to my BFF (not to be confused with BBFF) I learned some interesting things.

First, she is not good at math, at all, as a matter of fact I am still laughing about it. She was convinced she was a year younger than she is, I said no, you are this age. She argued for a good 5 minutes until I told her to do the math. She got a calculator and after a lot of cursing, accepted the truth. I am still laughing. She said go ahead and write about this, I know you’re going to, I said yes, yes I will and you won’t read it!

We both had a good laugh.

The second thing I learned is that I really need to quit romanticizing Owasso. In talking things out with BFF, who is from the same small town I am, I really came to the realization that the reason I fell so hard for the Owasso guy is due to the fact that I love Owasso so much and he really brought it all to the forefront. I really need to stop with the romantic reminiscing of Owasso.

I am incredibly sad, Alan Longmuir has passed away. Who is he you ask, I am so glad you did. He is the founding member of The Bay City Rollers. I sit here listening to their music I am so grateful to him for having started a band that provided the soundtrack to my life in the 70’s and early 80’s. Whether it was doing my homework, trying on a myriad of outfits for picture day, getting the right hairstyle for the Skate Ranch or getting the blue eyeshadow just right. They were there, providing background music.

It is Bay City Roller songs that also keep my heart hopeful for someone in my life. I sit here listening to You Made Me Believe in Magic, and it renews all of my faith in love. As silly as that might seem, it is fact, inside this nerdy, hard exterior is just a big Roller girl.

My love of boy bands is well documented, from the Jackson 5 to The Backstreet Boys. I just love them.

If you get a chance, listen to Rock and Roll Love Letter by the BCR, it is my favorite. I might jut post a link at the end of this post.

Other than that, not a lot to report, I have been off work since Tuesday, I go back on Sunday and I am loving not really doing anything. I am going to get my nails done today and some light shopping, light means necessities, not fun. I might dance around my bedroom to the Bay City Rollers, just in honor of Alan. Oh, fun little side note, it was his brother that I had the big crush on. He was the drummer, and in the time before the internet, I actually ferreted out his phone number in Scotland, yes, Scotland. I called, he wasn’t there but I had a lovely conversation with his housekeeper. Then my parents got the phone bill, then I was grounded, so totally worth it!

As promised: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNLdOx5zcRs

Any comments or questions can be left here or as usual you can email me at angie@angieworld.com

What Quantifies a Real Man?

Anyone who knows me for even a minute comes to the realization that I am one giant nerd, with geek tendencies. I am a voracious reader, of many different genres and topics, I love comic books, superheroes, mythology in any culture, museums and action movies.

A man, upon learning of my nerdy tendencies, said he wasn’t a nerd or geek, he was a real man. Of course that led to my question, what quantifies a real man. He said he hunted, fished and worked with his hands, he didn’t read and wasn’t into that sissy crap comic books. His words, not mine.

I thought about that quite a bit, you see the real men in my life growing up, my dad and my grandpa were well read, thoughtful, caring, kind, hunted, fished and laughed, a lot.

I started to think about what quantifies a real man to me, my sons are real men, they may not read the way I do, face it, very few people read the way I do. They work with their hands, they have been known to hunt and fish. But they are thoughtful, educated, like superhero movies, comic book characters and care for their families. In whatever form family is to them. Jeffrey with his new wife, his daughter and her children, Alex with his girlfriend and his mother (me) and her mother and everyone else.

Being a real man, to me, means you accept responsibility for your own life, your mistakes and the good things as well. It means putting others before yourself, thinking before speaking, laughing often, being able to laugh at yourself and never stop learning. Being able to hunt and fish and go off-roading doesn’t make you a man or a woman. Those are your hobbies, it doesn’t quantify who you are, your core beliefs do that.

I do not put anyone down who doesn’t like the things I like, I realize, for my age, and yes, my gender, I like some unusual things. I also realize that not all people are going to like the things I do, it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, it just means we will have double the topics of conversations. I would hope someone who doesn’t love my interests would listen while I drone on about them, and vice-versa, I would listen intently to someone espouse the virtues of their interests and ask questions. You never know when you are going to learn something new.

To shut someone down simply because they do not like the things you do is a mistake so many of us make. Now, I would not marry someone that different from me, due to the fact that causes so much friction.

Having commonalities is a must when it comes to that type of relationship. When you marry, you form a partnership, which implies you have commonalities, things you can share.

You don’t have to be exactly alike, but similarities make a happy household, trust me, I know exactly what I am speaking of in this department. I have had enough failures to know what doesn’t work. As for what does work, well, I’ll let you know when Dean Cain and I get married.

I would love to hear what you believe quantifies a real man or a real woman for that matter. I have been told I am not a real woman because I am not a domesticated creature. Cooking, cleaning and decorating all escape me, I am so missing that gene. If someone finds my missing gene, I’d really kind of like to have it installed. I hate anything that has to do with what is typically household chores. Having said that, I do enjoy cooking for my children, and others, on our Friday night dinner nights. Oh, and Christmas Eve, I look forward to that as well. But everything else, no, I do not enjoy it in the least. Help me, help myself. I have read Dean Cain cooks, so that would be a huge bonus to me ending up with him.

So yes, reply here or as usual you can email me at angie@angieworld.com.

Coffee Induced Thoughts

I was told recently that I have a good vocabulary, I said thank you but I had to laugh. I can thank my parents for my vocabulary skills, simply due to the fact that I spent a lot of time grounded.

Yes, grounded, typically for my sassy mouth, and when grounded I would do what came naturally. I would read, this particular time I had read every single book in that house. I was grounded, I couldn’t go to the store to buy more or to the library to check any out. There was one book I had not read cover to cover. The dictionary. Yes, you read that correctly, the dictionary, I was 16, grounded, bored, couldn’t leave my house except to go to church, it was summer, so no school. I had read the encyclopedia set, the bible, all of the books, magazines and newspapers int he house. So, dictionary it was.

I read the whole thing, then, mercifully, my grounding was over and I could get more books. I do believe it was the best thing that ever happened to me, in that regard.

Being grounded so much definitely added to my education, I wonder if my parents ever realized that. Knowing them, the way they knew me, did they know I would take the adverse situation and turn it around to my benefit? Another question I’ll have to wait to ask, I must remember to have my list put with me in my casket when I die.

I do have a list of questions, not only for them, but for my grandparents and God, I need some answers to some things.

Am I the only one that does this? Thinks of things that one needs answers to, for example, of all the people on earth, why is one so amazingly perfect and out of my reach? Yes, I do mean Dean Cain. Another, why is it so hot in Texas? Why can’t we have a real winter? I know it’s technically two, but they go hand in hand.

Why are so many people beach people? I see that everywhere, why are you not winter people? Where are those people? Those are my people, I need to put out a siren call to gather them together, we could yield power, do snow dances. I know that is a thing, it has to exist, if a rain dance exists it stands to reason that snow dances exist. I know I’m right about this, I am rarely wrong with things of this nature.

This, my friends, is what a pot of coffee will do to one, it makes you question the universe and want answers to those questions. It is not enough to question, anyone can do that, the real trick is finding the answers to those questions. So, I need you all to get on this, the heat is killing me, and not in a Roberta Flack kind of way.

Since I’ve had a pot of coffee this morning I do believe I will stop now and put this energy to good use.

Any ideas on how to make the heat stop please feel free to comment here or send it to angie@angiewold.com

Finding Your Passion

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about finding my passion, finding the one thing I love so much I’d do it for free. Finding your passion is finding the thing you are supposed to do with your life. Granted this is something I should have figured out in my 20’s, but I didn’t. Then my 30’s went by and I was very busy raising children and putting food on the table. Then my 40’s went by and I didn’t do it, and here I sit, in my 50’s not really knowing what direction my life should go.

Yes, I do realize that is insanity, at an age where I should, by all accounts, wind down and enjoy my dotage, I feel like I am just getting started.

I had dinner last night with a woman that has found her calling in life. She is so passionate about it, when she began to speak about her passion she very literally lit up. She glowed from the inside out, I have to admit I was a little envious, not the green kind, but the kind that makes one reassess their own life and goals.

So here I sit, thinking about my future, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. My one passion is Dean Cain, however, stalking him cannot be a full time job. Or can it?

I find I’m really apathetic about a lot lately, mainly the trajectory of my life. I am not passionate about anything, really, except words. I am passionate about words, they have power, the power to heal, the power to decimate someone, the power to organize, to save and they have the power to bring people together.

When I was 4 years old my grandpa taught me to read, he was exhausted from me begging him to read to me. So he did what he had to do, for his own peace. I can so clearly remember him sitting me down and teaching me, my grandmother came in and asked what he was doing. He told her he was teaching the baby how to read. She said he shouldn’t do that, she went on to say I was pretty and I didn’t need to know how to read. That men don’t like smart women, that is actually proving to be a true statement, for the most part. There are men who do like smart women, those are few and far between. It has been my experience, and it is limited, I admit that, the men I have met want women to be subservient, to be less than. It’s disheartening.

I digress, I am finding me, not me in other people, I could always write an advice column, I love telling people what to do. But then I would feel bad when it all imploded on them. I think I’ll not do the advice column, I’ll leave that to Dear Abby.

I believe that one’s passion comes from God, we hear it all of the time God given talents, abilities, so on and so on. I am still trying to figure out what gift or talent He gave me. I do believe He does give them to everyone, it is up to us to figure out what they are and how to use them.

Back to me, Vampire Slayer is out, I’m too old, those are usually 16 when they start. I’m not an Earp so demon killing is out, I’m not Cordelia so having the PTB speak to me through visions is a no go. Plus I really don’t want to be demonized, although visiting with Skip would have been awesome.

Any real thing I have a passion for has passed my by, I am going to have to really think about this. It is a conundrum, I would love some suggestions from others. What are you passions in life? Have you been able to realize those passions? Have you been able to make a living from them? Does it matter to you that you make a living from your passion? Is it something you do for free? The woman I had dinner with is altruistic with her passion. It is truly inspiring, the more I get to know her the more I like her. I am referring to BBFF’s GF, in case anyone didn’t get that.

I would love to hear from you out there, what are you passions and how do you use them.  You can leave a comment here or email me at angie@angieworld.com.

Traumatized

This morning I suffered sever trauma. I may need a leave of absence to get past it.

Every morning I get up and let Stormie out, I leave the backdoor open so she can go back and forth. She always comes in and watches me put on my makeup and do my hair. She is very judgmental regarding my grooming process.

Anyway, this morning she doesn’t come in, she stays out. So I go to call her in and put her in her kennel as I have to leave. At first I don’t see her and I panic, unbeknownst to me, she snuck in and she was already in her kennel.

I turn to shut the door and I see she is acting funny, sneaky, suspicious. I make her move and there was a dead, bloody rabbit.

I scream, loudly, go get things to get the dead thing up with. I had to force her out of that kennel. She was not giving her prize up without a fight.

All this time I am screaming like someone tried to do to me what was done to that poor rabbit. I am hugely surprised the neighbors didn’t call the police. I’m pretty sure I sounded like a maniac.

So now I am traumatized and don’t even know if I can look at my Husky when I get home.