Yesterday the Irishman and I went to see Rush, the new Ron Howard film about Formula 1 racing greats James Hunt and Niki Lauda. Now I only know they are greats due to the hype about the movie, I do not watch any sports. Everyone knows that.
Watching the movie, I am kind of surprised that I don’t enjoy racing, I think I would, no, I know I would enjoy doing the racing, however watching cars go in a circle for hours on end. No thanks.
Watching this film, and it is a film, so not a run of the mill movie, I realized I squandered my youth. I didn’t seize the day like James Hunt did; he enjoyed every bit of life, all of it. It was an eye opener.
I left the theater with the realization that I am old and there are things I will never, ever do again in my lifetime. There are things I will never experience for the first time because I have left my youth behind me.
I will never again ride a horse, I haven’t since I was in my early 20’s, so I know this to be a true statement. I will never again go roller-skating, that season has gone from my life. I will never again party like a rock star, ok, I never did that one, but still, I will never stay up all night talking and making plans. Those days have passed me by. I will never go skiing again; I seriously hated the skiing part, please, going down a mountain on two little sticks. So not my idea of fun, but I have done it, I will never go again.
I know I will never drive on a racetrack, yes that was a dream, I love to drive fast, I would love to be in one of those Formula 1 vehicles and run it around the track once or twice. I know without a doubt that will not happen. The best I can do is go 90 on the highway, shhhh don’t tell.
I will never go skydiving, I have dreamed of this, but quite honestly my fear of heights has gotten worse with age and I would probably pass out when the plane door opened. So this is not for me, it has passed me by, so many things are passing my by at the speed of light.
I will never live to see the day that we travel in space for pleasure; I will never live to see the day that the Vulcans land. Metaphor for the alien race that is bound to show up one-day people, I really don’t expect Mr. Spock to land on my doorstep.
I am incredibly boring these days, I have no excitement to look forward to, no wonderful surprises left around the corner.
I hope my children enjoy their youth, I hope they live it to the fullest, get to experience life like I never had the chance to. I hope that they understand that their youth is for living life, for taking chances, for doing, going, living.
Because when one gets to my age, well, there is nothing left, no excitement, no fun, no rollercoasters of life to take you up and down. There is simply nothingness, an empty void of space, looking out to through the years with what if’s and coulda, woulda, shoulda.
I read books, I have my entire life, I have found my escape in them, I have lived a thousand lives, I have done things in my imagination that I would never have had the opportunity to in real life.
I have been a pirate; I have ridden a bull, driven a racecar and been the most beautiful woman alive. Imagination is way better than life; it gives you things that living cannot.
Do I wish my life had been different? No, I do not, I relish the role of mother, it is one that I take seriously, even now. I would not change anything, I just wish I had taken advantage of opportunities that I will never have again.
It has all passed me by.

New Baby

So the Irishman and I adopted a baby, she is 5 months old with amber eyes and red hair. She is full of life, happy, joyous, rambunctious and old fashioned fun.
For the first 5 months of her life she was raised outdoors, so house training her has been challenging, however crate training her has been easy.
Nocona seems ok with her, she has only snipped at her a couple of times and they have actually started playing together.
Which brings me to a long dormant segment “Does That Make My Dog Crazy”.
Stormie (our daughters name) has her own bed, it is lovely, big and brand new. I noticed that Nocona’s bed was missing its pillow. I walk over to Stormie’s bed and found that she has stolen the pillow and put it on her bed. She is lying there with her head on the pillow.
I stood there and she looked up and just grinned.
Life is going to be exciting.

Just Drive

As I was driving this morning I thought of my dad, he loved to drive and passed that down to me. There are two things about his driving that stand out, the first being if anyone pointed something out to him he would drive towards it. I learned not to do that due to the fact it was a little scary. The second was how fast he drove, one time, before I started driving, he pointed to a sign and said “see that number? It’s a suggestion.” It was the speed limit sign. I took that to heart, I literally cannot drive slow. Jeffrey asks me all the time “mom, how do you not get speeding tickets?” Well, the answer is simple, I’m cute, I’m personable and I make the highway patrol officers laugh.
The thing about driving fast is those of us who do have a tendency to go through life fast. It’s hard to slow down because we are so geared toward doing everything as fast as we possibly can.
It’s hard to turn that off, that feeling of urgency. I have a tendency to do things fast, I read fast, I type fast, I do everything fast. How does one slow down? That is the question of the day. Perhaps I should try driving slower, at least to the speed limit, although that will be difficult.
We got a new dog this weekend, Stormie, she is a Siberian Husky. I think you all know how I feel about those dogs. I do love the bigger dog, I call them dogs with heft. She is a sweet dog, good disposition, needs training, leash training, house training things like that. She is really smart, I think with work, consistency, discipline and love she will be an excellent dog, friend, companion and family member.
Special thanks to my friend Kat for transporting her to us! You totally rock!

Miley Cyrus

I haven’t written in a while because I have a lot in my head right now. I have about 15 different things rattling around in there, it gets crowded in my brain.
I think I’ll start with Miley Cyrus, nothing too controversial there. Right?
The VMA performance aside if one looks closely you can see shades of Lindsay Lohann and Amanda Bynes happening here. I have seen a lot of posts regarding this girl, and yes, she is a girl, not a grown woman. People like to pretend they are not bullies, but in reality we all have it in us. The vicious things people are saying is truly telling. These are the same people that will post an anti bullying meme and say this is an issue. However, because Miley is a famous person she is fair game. Is that right?
This is clearly a girl in turmoil, spiraling out of control at an exponential rate. She has stated she only sleeps 45 minutes at a time, combine that with the drug use (which she admits to) the lack of parental guidance, surrounding herself with people that will never tell her she is wrong, well it is an equation for a total implosion.
Social media is very telling, everyone becomes self-righteous and sanctimonious. Forgetting the things they did in their youth, once again I am beyond grateful there was no Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or anything else that could come back to haunt me.
Before anyone says oh she’s trying to to shed her Hannah Montana image, let’s take a look at some former child stars that did not feel the need to behave badly to prove they are adults.
Melissa Joan Hart, she grew up on television, the Nickelodeon channel was her home, then ABC. We all saw her go from child star to adult without twerking, without shedding her clothes and dignity. The difference between her and Miley? Melissa had a mother that made sure she was a parent first then a manager. Miley does not have that luxury, from all appearances her mother tells her everything she does is wonderful, in fact when she was barely 16 Annie Lebowitz was photographing her with very little clothing and in sexually provocative poses. With her parents on set approving every shot. Is anyone really surprised this is the road she is taking?
Now, her new song, Wrecking Ball, is really good, it is being overshadowed by the video. If one listens to the song they will get the symbolism of the naked on the wrecking ball scenes. The licking of the sledgehammer, that one escapes me. I do hope someone comes into her life soon that can sit her down and tell her the things she is doing for attention are detrimental not only to her physical well-being, but her mental health as well. Not to mention her career, from all accounts her new album is amazing. However, once again, being over-shadowed.
Oh, if you are one of these people that are speaking so badly about this girl, take a good long look at your daughters. If she were spiraling out of control and the whole world was witnessing it what would you like said about her?

Monday Thoughts

I wear a lot of hats, first and foremost is mother, then grandmother, I write a blog so everyone can see what goes on in my head, I do a radio show with my good friend Shanon Jay of KHVN, then there is my J. O. B. where I help people with their Internet. And the hat that sits above all of them is Christian. That’s the hat that I hear irritates some people. Well then I consider it a hat well worn.
People have the erroneous tendency to think of Christians as meek, mild, complacent creatures. I guess those people have never read the Bible. If they had said individuals would realize we are indeed radicals, free thinkers given free will to decide for ourselves how we believe and why we believe the way we do.
I spent my childhood learning the bible, reading it and as I matured, understanding it, as an adult applying the principles to my everyday life.
I had the great fortune to have some of the best Sunday School teachers in the world. Grace Wemberly, Caroline Hall, Ed and Fleeta Sunday, simply the best. There in Owasso, Oklahoma not only did I receive an amazing secular education I received the best religious, Christian education as well.
I believe it was by Devine intervention that I arrived in Owasso, there is no other explanation. I will be forever grateful that I was adopted by my mom and dad and raised in a place I could expand my mind and my soul.


There is something that has been rattling around my head for about a week. Last week I wrote about watching The Walton’s. There was something John Boy said that has stuck with me. It struck a chord within me, I cannot shake it, he was showing a woman from New York around Walton’s Mountain. She said it must have been something to grow up here. He snorted and said children don’t grow up here, they get raised.
I thought about that, I was raised, I was raised to respect my elders, say yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir, to not talk back, to not correct adults. I was taught to take responsibility for my actions, that if I break the rules there would be immediate and harsh consequences.
Today children are simply growing up, the majority of America’s children don’t know discipline, they don’t know consequences. They don’t even know the definition of lying, of stealing; it is a scary thought to realize that these children will simply grow up to become adults. They will not be raised to adulthood, raised knowing consequences, rules, self-control; they will grow up thinking that whatever they do is fine. That they can lie, cheat and steal their way through life and there will be no consequences.
It is a scary prospect indeed, I know very few parents who actually instill a sense of morality within the children they are raising. There’s that word again, raise, the parents that are actually raising children knows that it takes hard work, discipline within themselves to teach their children discipline.
I don’t know when this happened, when did people think having children was only going to be fun? That they wouldn’t have to get their hands dirty, literally and metaphorically, they believe everything that their children tell them, when they say I don’t know, I didn’t do it, parents say ok and go on their merry way. Blaming everyone else for the shortcomings that their children display, teachers, especially have it hard these days.
A child doesn’t do their homework, gets bad grades, who gets the blame, not the child who didn’t do the work, nope, it’s the teachers fault. They should have helped the child more, seriously, seriously people. This is the fault of the home, the parents who choose not to parent, they want to be their children’s friends. Friendship with your child doesn’t come until they are in their 20’s and even then, you are still their parent. It is still the parent’s responsibility to tell the child, when they see them doing something detrimental to their well-being, that the parent knows won’t end well.
So, parents, raise your children, the rest of the world doesn’t want to have to deal with them when they are adults. Teach them manners, teach them morality, teach them not to talk back to adults, not to correct them and above all teach them about Jesus Christ! I cannot emphasize it enough, it is so important to know Jesus, to learn about God. To understand when the world is against us we have God in our corner.

Fatty McButter Pants

I have several things to admit to today, the first is I actually stepped on the scale and if it could talk it would have yelled “hey fatty McButter pants get off of me!” It is beyond ridiculous. I am back on the food wagon big time. I’m so embarrassed.
The next thing is, I love the Walton’s and Little House on the Prairie. There I said it. You see those were the two things that my mom and I bonded over. As everyone knows I was adopted, not as a baby but as an older child. The first thing I noticed was my new mom had the whole set of Little House books, I was already a big fan. I could hardly believe it, I casually mentioned the books. My mom proceeded to tell me she loved them as they reminded her of her childhood in rural Oklahoma in the early 1900’s. It was an immediate bonding moment, we talked about the books and she would interweave her own adventures in the conversation. It was nothing short of magical.
Then one evening the Walton’s was on, I thought I was too cool for such a corny show. My mom said come watch this with me, then proceeded to tell me she loved the show because it reminded her of her early married life during the depression. She shared so many stories with me.
I tell you this in order to explain what happened to me last night. I was flipping through the channels and there it was. The Walton’s, an Easter story. I really tried to flip past it, but I couldn’t. I felt my mothers presence so strongly while it was on, it was nothing short of soothing. Then, to my surprise, was Julie Benz of Buffy and Angel fame. Currently on Defiance, of course I did the only thing I could. I tweeted it, and Julie Benz retweeted me!!! I was so excited! I know, a silly thing to be excited about but when one is currently Fatty McButter pants you have to take joy where you can find it.

Inspired by Ellen

There is something to be said about an empty freeway, open throttle, 95 MPH and Detroit Rock City playing on the stereo. Happy Labor Day!
So, yesterday, on Facebook one of my second cousins posted something provocative. She said: “How do you deal with judgement? When someone you love is doing something that will harm them or others do you step in and address the issue with them? Or do you leave it to free will and watch the chaos unfurl?”
Having been in situations where I could see someone’s life hurling out of control at an exponential rate I feel uniquely qualified to give my thoughts on this subject.
The bible tells us to hold each other accountable, check out Matthew 18: 15-17, James 5:16 and Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. All excellent references on how to handle a situation where someone we love has lost control of their life.
Here’s the thing, we must take those concerns to the guilty party out of love not maliciousness or gleefully pointing out something they did wrong.
There is a right way and a wrong way to approach someone. We need to be mindful not only of our words but of our tone as well. You can say the right words, but with the wrong tone they are meaningless.
I am incredibly blessed to have my BBFF in my life that will not hesitate to let me know when I am out of line or if he sees me doing things that are detrimental to my life.
If we allow someone we love to continue down a path that will surely lead them to hell isn’t it our duty to speak up? I believe the answer is yes, once again all in the delivery.
Ok, I’m done preaching, working today 5AM to 1:30PM, not too shabby. Get in, get it done, get out. That’s my motto.

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