Anyone who knows me for even a minute comes to the realization that I am one giant nerd, with geek tendencies. I am a voracious reader, of many different genres and topics, I love comic books, superheroes, mythology in any culture, museums and action movies.
A man, upon learning of my nerdy tendencies, said he wasn’t a nerd or geek, he was a real man. Of course that led to my question, what quantifies a real man. He said he hunted, fished and worked with his hands, he didn’t read and wasn’t into that sissy crap comic books. His words, not mine.
I thought about that quite a bit, you see the real men in my life growing up, my dad and my grandpa were well read, thoughtful, caring, kind, hunted, fished and laughed, a lot.
I started to think about what quantifies a real man to me, my sons are real men, they may not read the way I do, face it, very few people read the way I do. They work with their hands, they have been known to hunt and fish. But they are thoughtful, educated, like superhero movies, comic book characters and care for their families. In whatever form family is to them. Jeffrey with his new wife, his daughter and her children, Alex with his girlfriend and his mother (me) and her mother and everyone else.
Being a real man, to me, means you accept responsibility for your own life, your mistakes and the good things as well. It means putting others before yourself, thinking before speaking, laughing often, being able to laugh at yourself and never stop learning. Being able to hunt and fish and go off-roading doesn’t make you a man or a woman. Those are your hobbies, it doesn’t quantify who you are, your core beliefs do that.
I do not put anyone down who doesn’t like the things I like, I realize, for my age, and yes, my gender, I like some unusual things. I also realize that not all people are going to like the things I do, it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, it just means we will have double the topics of conversations. I would hope someone who doesn’t love my interests would listen while I drone on about them, and vice-versa, I would listen intently to someone espouse the virtues of their interests and ask questions. You never know when you are going to learn something new.
To shut someone down simply because they do not like the things you do is a mistake so many of us make. Now, I would not marry someone that different from me, due to the fact that causes so much friction.
Having commonalities is a must when it comes to that type of relationship. When you marry, you form a partnership, which implies you have commonalities, things you can share.
You don’t have to be exactly alike, but similarities make a happy household, trust me, I know exactly what I am speaking of in this department. I have had enough failures to know what doesn’t work. As for what does work, well, I’ll let you know when Dean Cain and I get married.
I would love to hear what you believe quantifies a real man or a real woman for that matter. I have been told I am not a real woman because I am not a domesticated creature. Cooking, cleaning and decorating all escape me, I am so missing that gene. If someone finds my missing gene, I’d really kind of like to have it installed. I hate anything that has to do with what is typically household chores. Having said that, I do enjoy cooking for my children, and others, on our Friday night dinner nights. Oh, and Christmas Eve, I look forward to that as well. But everything else, no, I do not enjoy it in the least. Help me, help myself. I have read Dean Cain cooks, so that would be a huge bonus to me ending up with him.
So yes, reply here or as usual you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.