Thankful and Why I Can’t Find a Date

So, um, yeah, 51 year old Matthew Perry got engaged to his 29 year old girlfriend. Why does this matter you’d ask. Good question.

I’m 56, men my age only want younger women and they get them.

Today is Thanksgiving, a day all Americans give thanks for all they we have. Not material things, but for family and friends.

I am on of those Americans that spend the holiday alone. As I’ve talked about before it’s my choice to do so. My children spend this day with their dad and his family. It’s been this way since 1993, there is no reason to change that.

I’m going to tell you all what I am thankful for today. I’m thankful for strong American women. Sydney Powell, Amy Coney Barrett and Jenna Ellis. I pray for their strength, perseverance and safety.

I’m thankful that I live in a country that is a constitutional republic. I’m thankful for a Supreme Court that upholds our constitution.

I’m thankful to have been instilled with old fashioned common sense. You know the thing that allows you to discern between crap and truth.

I’m thankful to have grow up in an household that taught patriotism, history and my family’s part in it.

I’m thankful my dad insisted I learn current events and study things that are happening in our country.

I have to say I am horrified by the lack of patriotism, of people willing to sell their country out. I am horrified by the lack of knowledge and by people not willing to investigate on their own. People who drown themselves in CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS and FOX news. Never bothering to listen to the speeches of politicians live. Just getting the bits MSM wants you to know.

I am thankful to live in a country where I have the option to make my voice heard. I’m thankful to be in a country where we can ferret out voter fraud and right the wrongs that were done.

If you are with family today give thanks for that. Then pray for our brave patriots.

Must Love God

Ok, so um yeah. Shay has decided she is going to find a man for me. I don’t even know how this is a good idea. I try telling her that we have completely different taste in men. She thinks I’m younger than I actually am and acts accordingly.

So since she wants to find a man for me, here are my requirements.

Somewhat nerdy, but also manly. Please no men that wear dresses. I like a man that can work with his hands and fix things. I come from a long line of fixers. My dad could fix anything, so could my brothers and nephews and my sons. My daughter can as well.

He has to like animals, both cats and dogs and others.

He also has to get along with my children. Oh and has to have good hygiene, physical and oral, there is nothing worse than a man who doesn’t brush his teeth or shower regularly.

Oh and good looking, I’m pretty, I am attracted to pretty, it never goes well with me when I deviate from what I’m attracted to.

Someone who likes to travel, I don’t want to be tied to someone who just wants to sit and watch television. Speaking of, I love superhero shows and movies. So there’s that.

Oh and music, they have to like music and going to concerts.

Above all they have to love God, Jesus and believe in the Holy Spirit.

This list is subject to change but that’s it for now.

An appropriate age is a must as well. If you know of anyone that fits the bill tell him to hit me up.

Family Pictures and a Fake Man

Life is getting back to normal, we had family pictures on Saturday. I don’t know what to say, except we all look short and squatty. Elizabeth Anne’s arms are huge in the photos, and she is tiny, like size 0 tiny. Alex looks like he has a belly, he is mr fit, works out constantly and has abs of steel. Tessa looks like she has a belly, she does not, Jeffrey had his sunglasses on and just needed a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

When I saw them I literally could not stop laughing, I snort laughed, Elizabeth Anne says she is going to find a frame that says 2020 with a roll of toilet paper on it.

I will cherish these pictures my entire life! Oh and the tiniest one of us, Karliegh, think double 0, looked like a regular size. Amanda is tall and she looked short! I am laughing all over thinking about it!

So tonight, when I was coming out of Hotworx, I saw a nice looking older gentleman (probably my age) standing next to a Vette. Another man was taking a picture of him, you could tell it was probably for a dating site. As I was driving off I was talking to Shay on the phone. I told her I should stop and say look no further, I am a car girl, trade that in for a Mustang and we’ll date. As I look back he is not getting into the Corvette he just took his picture next to. No, the faker was getting into another car! I was like well you can’t even trust what you see on the internet. Which made me laugh hard as well.

Another reason to never get on another dating app, you really cannot trust what you see. It is all rather sad and funny and makes for great fodder on here.

I never thought in my younger years I would end up here, alone, dateless, living with a cat and a dog.

I’ve seen the things about what would you go back and tell your younger self if you could.

I would tell her to enjoy every minute, stop stressing, the bills and money will work themselves out. They always do, you’ll be able to feed your kids and clothe them. Not to worry about being alone, you’ll get used to it, oh and don’t date an idiot with an accent.

Don’t do that girl. Just don’t. Your life will be incredibly peaceful if you just don’t.

I would also tell me to go ahead and dye our hair purple, it’s all good, it’s all fine. Oh and finish that journalism degree, you’ll never use it, but you’ll have that accomplishment.

That’s really all I have for now. I encourage everyone to go out and see your family for Thanksgiving and Christmas, you don’t know if it will be someones last.

Just Toto it

Well here we sit, with a Friday the 13th, the last one we had in 2020 was in March. It was the last normal day on earth, I remember that day well.

I had my hair done, colored a brilliant dark red by my amazing hair stylist.

In my family, as you might know, we hold Friday the 13th dearly. It was the day my parents were married, not in March or November, but January. 

I don’t believe in luck, I believe in blessings from the Almighty Father. I have many in my life, from my grandparents, parents, children and grandchildren. Too many friends to actually count, a life filled with peace and assuredness that God is high upon His throne and in control.

I have no worries about what happens on this earth, that doesn’t mean I don’t take an active roll in doing my part in things I need to do. It means I am not worried about what happens after I leave this earth.

I fully believe that what happens next here is in God’s plan for this earth and His children. I pray that God’s will be done, not man’s will.

Moving on, my cat cam is working brilliantly, I am getting great footage of a cat that wants nothing to do with me. Ronald, aka, Fat Catstard, loves hanging out in the cat sanctuary during the day.

The stray only comes out at night, probably because the husky has full reign of the backyard during the day. I leave the backdoor open while I am working so she can go in and out as she pleases. With the exception of rain, I don’t allow rain to come into the house.

Does anyone else do that? Leave their door open for their pets?

Tomorrow is the day for family photos, I am very excited, I have a new purple shirt and look forward to what everyone else will be wearing. I have put the kibosh on Elizabeth Anne showing up in a purple fur coat. That was my only putting my foot down moment.

This will not be a photo shoot like you see on social media influencers instagrams. This will be a simple family photo, the photographer will position us. We will smile, she will take the picture, maybe three or four just to make sure we get one good one. Then done. Fingers crossed all 5 of the children cooperate. Well the older ones, no worries, it’s the youngest, he is unpredictable, just the way we like him. 

So now 2020 feels like 2000, can anyone say Al Gore? I feel a complete vindication coming and literally cannot wait for a certain thing to get to the Supreme Court. You know the court where three of it’s members were demonized and tortured by the Democrat party. We shall see what we shall see. Until then just Toto it, we shall persevere.

As usual any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at

Peace out peeps. 

Prayer Evening

Last night I went to dinner, in a restaurant! With other people! It was amazing and fun and the food was to die for. How did this come about you ask, well settle down for a little story.

I have a friend named Stephanie that ministers to people, I’ve talked about her before. It all started a few weeks back when she posted on Facebook, about being patient and waiting on the one God has for you.

As we all know, I don’t think highly of myself, I couldn’t stop myself, I said that no man would ever want me, I’m old, I’m menopausal, I have weird taste in movies and tv shows. Besides I’m not attractive.

I think she was so taken aback she really didn’t know how to respond. So she asked me to join her and some other ladies for dinner and prayer. I was completely down for that. I’ve missed praying with other people, in person.

First of all it was at a restaurant in the Legacy area in Plano. I have not seen that many people in a long time! It was amazing to see, people walking and shopping, dining and laughing.

The restaurant itself was lovely, French food that was perfect.

The women were so nice, they were warm and accepting. They talked about the blessing bags they make for homeless people and what goes into them, that was wonderful.

One woman looked just like Kirstie Alley and just as full of life and humor.

Then my friend said she wanted to pray over me, she could sense the self doubting spirit and wanted it gone. It was incredible, I cried, one woman told me that God wants me to see myself through His eyes not mine.

My soul feels so much lighter and I am back on track. It is so easy to get into that place where we allow those spirits in. Always remember whose child you are. God the father, we say that for a reason, seeing ourselves through His eyes is imperative for all of us.

I am no longer doubting myself. I hope you all know who you are and who you belong to.

I Totally Stole This

My friend Cheryl posted this on Facebook. I liked it, I stole it.

Let me be clear, I am not a Biden fan at all. He is corrupt, a liar, suffering from dementia. He has done nothing to improve anything in 47/48 years in politics.
I truly believe Biden is just the stepping stone for Kamala Harris to take over the White House. Nancy Pelosi is already trying to put a 25th amendment in place to remove an unfit president. I don’t believe that has a thing to do with Trump having Covid. I think that’s to remove Biden if elected for dementia and Harris to take over.
This is my opinion so don’t bother to bash it, I haven’t bashed yours.

The clown in the White House just brokered two Middle East Peace Accords, something that 71 years of political intervention and endless war failed to produce.

The buffoon in the White House is the first president that has not engaged us in a foreign war since Eisenhower.

The clown in the White House has had the greatest impact on the economy, bringing jobs, and lowering unemployment to the Black and Latino population of ANY other president. Ever.

The buffoon in the White House has exposed the deep, widespread, and long-standing corruption in the FBI, the CIA, the NSA, and the Republican and Democratic parties.

The buffoon in the White House turned NATO around and had them start paying their dues.

The clown in the White House neutralized the North Koreans, stopped them from developing a further nuclear capability, sending missiles toward Japan, and threatening the West Coast of the US.

The clown in the White House turned our relationship with the Chinese around, brought hundreds of business back to the US, and revived the economy. Hello!!!!!!!

The clown in the White House has accomplished the appointing of three Supreme Court Justices and close to 300 Federal Judges.

This same clown in the White House lowered your taxes, increased the standard deduction on your IRS return from $12,500 for Married Filing Joint to $24,400 and caused your stock market to move to record levels over 100 times, positively impacting the retirements of tens of millions of citizens.

The clown in the White House rebuilt our military which the Obama administration had crippled and had fired 214 key generals and admirals in his first year of office.

This clown in the White House uncovered widespread pedophilia in the government and in Hollywood, and is exposing world wide sex trafficking of minors and bringing children home to their families.

The clown in the White House works for free and has lost well over 2 billion dollars of his own money in serving – and done all of this and much more in the face of relentless undermining and opposition from people who are threatened because they know they are going to be exposed as the criminals that they are if he is re-elected.

I got it, you don’t like him. Many of you utterly hate and despise him. How special of you. He is serving you and ALL the American people. What are you doing besides calling him names and laughing about him catching the China virus ?????

And please educate me again as to what Biden has accomplished for America in his 47 years in office?
I’ll take a ‘clown’ any day versus a fork tongued, smooth talking hypocritical corrupt liar. Please let it be known, I am not sure I would want to have a beer with him (if he drank, which he doesn’t) or even be his friend. I don’t care if I even like him. I want a strong leader who isn’t afraid to kick some ass when needed. I don’t need a fatherly figure – I already have one. I don’t need a liar – that’s what Hollywood and CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS and the New York Times are for.

I don’t need someone to help me, but I also don’t want an obstacle or a demented, senile washed-up Swamp Monster.

God bless Donald Trump – the most unappreciated President in history.”

I agree with everything. He is also the most prolife president. Signing the born alive act, you know, the one the Democrats fought.


I’m finally normal, how did this happen you ask. Good question, I was listening to Dr. Oz on the Kidd Kraddick show when someone asked him what the optimal temperature should be for a good nights sleep.

He said 64 degrees, I was blown away! I’m normal! That is my best sleeping temperature! I have always slept better in the cold, this is not a new thing.

Since entering menopause I like it even colder. It has been 49 degrees at night here recently. I still sleep with the air conditioner on.

Since switching to the different plant based estrogen and the progesterone cream my hot flashes seem to be under control. Which is a great relief.

Hotworx has been a God send, I look forward to it and feel better after going. I have also started drinking lemon water and have done away with drinking watermelon water. My heartburn seems to have lessened since making the change. It is not gone completely but it is on the way out.

My joints are not aching, my tiredness is going away, the weight is also going away. My exercise pants are getting too big. I have to pull them all the way up, old man style. It is quite the look. So sexy.

I’ve come to the time of year when I am emotional. I am not an emotional person but here we are. I’ve had so many people that I love die and this time of year is a reminder of all that I don’t have.

I don’t have, nor have I ever had anyone in my life that loves me. In a romantic way. I’m allowed to mourn what I have never had and and never will have. I’m too old and no man wants an old woman going through menopause. I’m not stupid nor unrealistic.

I also don’t have family to spend holidays with, oh I have Christmas Eve and I relish that. Which explains why I have a tendency to go overboard with gifts.

But Thanksgiving, Christmas Day and New Years, well I’m on my own. Saturday my ex-husbands wife invited me to Thanksgiving with them and my children and their family.

Honestly it’s humiliating, to be looked at with pity by the father of my children and his wife. She doesn’t mean it to be that way, please don’t take this the wrong way. She is a lovely woman who is extremely kind. But I am humiliated, being a loser who has no one in their life who wants to spend that day with me.

Everyone knows it, but to be faced with it is not pleasant. I don’t know how to politely decline, I may just ignore it and hope she forgets.

I usually work, that day so I don’t have to face anything, but my office now closes on Thanksgiving. So maybe a Buffy marathon is in order.

I don’t write this for anyone to feel sorry for me or to give advice. Seriously there is nothing worse than someone who has family and a romantic partner trying to tell me I have so much to be thankful for. I know I do, it’s just this time of year is hard. I miss my mom, I miss my dad, I miss my son, I miss my grandparents and so many cousins and aunts and uncles. Sometimes it’s overwhelming. That’s all.

I have made the decision to not share my meanderings on Facebook anymore. This allows me to write much more freely. I hope you all have a good day, if your parents are alive go see them, listen to their stories and hug them.

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