Title. What should the title of this be. I don’t know, I don’t know a lot these days. Some people already know this, some I tried to call so they wouldn’t see it online first. But here we are, with me having something to say and yet not wanting to burden anyone.
I debated long and hard before telling my children, I don’t like to intrude in their lives. I want them to live knowing they are burden free when it comes to me.
Then again I know it would have hurt them if I didn’t tell them, so I told them, then my sister.
Go get a mammogram they say, nothing like early detection they say. So I went, every year, not a thought going towards anything but negative results.
January 30th, go in, no big deal, then February 2, they call and say oh there’s something suspicious, we need you to come back.
Still not a thought of anything but a negative result. Then a call back saying we need to do a biopsy.
Things are slightly more realish, so I go in for a biopsy.
Then comes the news, they found cancer in my left breast and a benign tumor in the right.
Everyone keeps asking me how I feel. I literally feel nothing. Not anger, not sadness, not worry.
In Philippians 4:6-9 we are specifically instructed not to worry. “
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
I rarely ever worry about anything that is beyond my control. This is beyond my control, no worries, I was referred to an oncologist that came highly recommended.
I will say I am confused, I honestly thought God was done putting me through tough situations. I guess past horribleness doesn’t count.
Sometimes I wonder what it is like to have a life that has never known strife or tribulation or just terrible times.
But then I’m reminded of everything God has done for me and if I didn’t know Jesus how those tough situations would have taken me completely down.
I don’t know what’s going to happen, I really don’t want to lose my hair, but better my hair than my life. I have a lot to live for.
Angie World 