Older wishes

Today is the day before my actual birthday. I know there are some of you out there wondering exactly how old I am. Well let me answer that in the words of my amazing grandmother, old enough to know better and young enough to do it anyway.
I don’t know how I feel about this birthday, don’t get me wrong, I love my birthday; however, age is not just a number. Things start happening as you get older and it is not for the best, I don’t care how many people tell you that or how many commercials you see that say that, trust me, not for the best. If you are young you may want to stop reading now, I don’t want to scare you unnecessarily, growing older is not for the faint of heart. First off, there is the weight issue, it is harder to take off and harder to maintain. Unless you are a mega star with your own team of personal trainers and nutritionists on hand, those of us in the real world have to do our own research and work extremely hard just to maintain healthy. There is the issue of things falling, falling out, falling down, falling always falling. Gravity is not our friend; ask the astronauts, they’ll tell you. Age is the great equalizer. We all eventually have to do it, it will happen to you. Here is the question, is it something to fear or something to embrace?
For all of my talk, I had the best examples in the world of women who embraced their age, the wisdom that came with it, the ability to let people see who you really are without fear. My mother, my grandmother and my great aunt Effie were the best examples in the world of how a woman should age. They were all different in the way they did it. My mother had gentleness about her that I have yet to see in anyone else, my grandmother was feisty and flirty even in her 90’s my great aunt Effie had an innocence about her that was incredibly endearing. They were all three intelligent, articulate, caring, giving and funny as all get out women. I strive to be like all three, impossibility, I know, but they all influenced me so much in the way I see aging.
I will say getting wrinkled still freaks me out, I fear getting skin cancer, my mother and grandmother both had it. They got it from picking cotton in their youth and while, no, I did not pick cotton, I did lay out slathered in baby oil burning myself to a crisp. So it is a possibility I could develop it later in life.
As I grow older my wish for myself is that I have my mothers sense of humor and wisdom, my grandmothers feistiness and my great aunt Effie’s zest for life.

Back in the U.S.S.R.

On the way to work Back in the U.S.S.R. came on the radio, wow, that brought back memories. I loved the Beatles, they were my favorite. I mean who did not want to grow up and marry Paul McCartney? Who didn’t adore Ringo Starr? Who wasn’t in awe of John Lennon? And who actually understood George Harrison? Back in the U.S.S.R. has particularly poignant memories for me. I was playing it one Sunday and my dad became very agitated, he came into the living room where the stereo was and said I was not allowed to play that filth in his home. I of course stood up and demanded to know what exactly he was talking about. He said he had read a book by a televangelist and this particular one had cited this song as being filthy. He went and goes the book, in the book the author said it had a word in the song he refused to print. I read it and said dad, the word is balalaika’s the line is “Let me hear your balalaika’s ring out.” I explained it was a Russian musical instrument. He refused to believe me! I ran and got my giant poster of Beatle lyrics (yes, I had one) and showed him. He gave me a look he was famous for, left the room, got the dictionary, and then said, well this doesn’t make sense. That is not a bad word; he didn’t understand why someone who claimed to be a man of God would lie and say it was a filthy word when in fact it wasn’t.
My best guess is the author was more appalled at the use of a Russian word; my dad became disillusioned with televangelists after that. He stated the only one he was going to watch and trust was Billy Graham. Good choice, now that is a righteous man.
I miss the Beatles, only two left now, I would still marry Paul McCartney, he is still a cutie pie. Love him, and yes, I still miss John Lennon, and Ringo Starr still rocks. Have I mentioned how much I love drummers?
Two days until I turn 19 again!!! WooooHooooo!

Welcome Birthday Month

This is my birthday month, for the whole month of February you will see nothing of dieting or of me thinking I am obese. I plan to eat my way through this month; next month however will be a different story.
But this month, this month is mine, I get to do whatever I want, all moth long. I don’t know exactly what that entails yet, but I will let you know when I figure it out.
So I have been stuck in this apartment since I came home Tuesday afternoon, I admit I probably should not have gone to work on Tuesday as I almost died twice on the way to work and once on the way home. But I didn’t and I made a conscious decision that I was not going to die going to work. My life was worth more than that. I left the apartment for the first time today; I went to the grocery store. We were almost out of coffee! That would have been a disaster, can you imagine, Angie with no coffee? The absolute horror, I feel like crying just thinking about it. I seriously cannot imagine my life without caffeine or Starbucks, however, sometimes I think about it. A complete cleansing, no sugar, no diet soda, no coffee, and then I come to my sense and realize that is not going to happen.
I decided to work until 11:00 am on my actual birthday and take the day after off, that way I can stay up later than 7:00 pm on my actual birthday. I am very much looking forward to it. Last year I got sick the week before with Strep and was still recovering the week of my birthday. It was a bad illness; I have never had Strep that bad before, knock on wood I don’t have it that bad ever again.
I have been watching a marathon of Glee today, I had only seen on episode before today, the one that Joss Whedon directed and Neil Patrick Harris guest starred on. I am kinda liking this show, if I had a singing voice I so would have been in the Glee club. My secret desire is to be a rock star, or a pop star, OMG I would so totally love to be Britney Spears! That is who I am coming back as in my next life, a pop star.

Weather driving

It is a major ice storm here in Plano, TX, a major one. Of course I did not miss work because of it. Not because of any sense of loyalty to the major communications corporation that employees me, as of late they have not exhibited a sense of loyalty towards me, it causes me to be jaded, no, I come to work during an ice storm because I can hear my father’s voice in my head. He is saying, “I taught you to drive in worse than this, what do you mean you have to miss work? I am seriously disappointed in you.” I hear those words; I get up, get dressed and risk life and limb not to disappoint my deceased father. I am sure a therapist would have a field day with that one.
I also come to work as I have taught my children a work ethic. You don’t miss school or work or church unless you are on your deathbed. You have to have a fever and be contagious to miss any of these things. They know this; they do not miss work now unless they are seriously ill. I did not keep my children home because they had a cough or were too tired to go to school. I was taught that school was my job, so you show up, do your best, I instilled in my children that mentality as well. I am proud that I did so. They do not take the easy way out, they are workers and not lazy.
I am very proud of the fact that my children are who they are, it was hard work getting them there, I am exhausted, but it was worth every sleepless night, every sacrifice. So if you go to work today I am proud of you as well!

Happy Birthday Elizabeth

Today is February 1st, you might ask why that date is significant, well let me tell you. Today, 22 years ago the most amazing daughter in the world came into the world. Yes, Elizabeth Anne was born today in 1989, in a little hamlet called Plano. It was 80 degrees when we arrived at the hospital to have her, by the time she was born that evening it was a raging ice storm. Much like the one we are having right now. I consider both to have been my birthday present that year. I consider Elizabeth an ongoing birthday present.
She was the most amazing surprise, right from the beginning, she was alert and bright and pink. I continue to be amazed by her.
Elizabeth, you are a continual surprise, a constant joy, an amazing daughter, I love you, I hope you enjoy the weather, it is God’s way of saying He loves you.