August 9th, 1984, one of the happiest days of my life, a baby boy arrived. Michael Marino Barsi, my little M&M, he was perfect.
Who knew we would only get 12 weeks with him. If I had known would I have done things differently? Yes, I would not have gone back to work, I would have spent every moment I had with him. I would never have allowed him out of my sight for a second.
I still remember the day he was born, I was in labor for hours before his heart rate dropped exponentially. The doctor said we have to get him out now, and I was rushed to an operating room. The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck twice, he would have died in the birth canal. But he was there, 8 pounds and 10 and a half ounces. A beautiful baby boy, that was loved beyond measure.
It’s been 46 years and sometimes my arms still ache to hold him. I often wonder what he would be like as an adult, what the other children would be like if they had their oldest brother with them.
Of course it is an answer I will never have, I have to take comfort in the fact that he is in heaven. I believe that with my whole heart. I will see him again, will he be a baby or an adult, I don’t know. I just know I will recognize him when I see him.
I have reminders of him in my every day life, I actually have a plant that someone gave us for his funeral. This plant is 42 years old, it is still thriving, in fact I do cuttings from it and make new plants and give them to family members. So they have part of Michael with them as well.
That is the plant, it is still healthy and living, somehow it gives me comfort.
I am also comforted by the fact that he has family members with him. His grandparents on my side and his grandpa Reno and granny Dee on his dad’s side of the family. My brothers are up there as well, along with my favorite cousin Cindy.
I’ll love you forever Michael, I don’t know why you had to go, and I’ll never know until I am with you again. Just know that you were loved while you were here and loved for an eternity after you left.
Angie World 