Month: April 2011

I had a terrifying experience yesterday morning; I got lost on the way to work. I got lost going to a building I have been going to for 5 years. I totally missed my exit and when I looked up I didn’t recognize any of the signs and became very panicky. I did manage to get off of the highway and turn myself around and find my way to work. This lapse of memory is not the first incident, it has been going on for about a month, this incident was the one that drove me to make a Doctor’s appointment.
They were able to fit me in right away, but before my appointment I did what any human would do in this day and age. I self diagnosed on the internet. I found that I could have one of the following: a brain tumor, West Nile, Alzheimer’s, Dementia or sleep deprivation. I was inclined to think I had West Nile, as I have joked about it through the years and thought well wouldn’t this be poetic justice. Turns out it is sleep deprivation. I have to go to bed so early and my upstairs neighbors for some reason will not get on my schedule. They are very noisy about the time I need to go to sleep. It has been happening since we moved to the new apartment in December. The lack of sleep has finally gotten to me. I know if these people would be still for about 10 minutes I could fall asleep then they could have a party and I would never know it. But alas that is not the case.
So the Doctor prescribed ambient, the drug that makes people do strange things in their sleep, although he assures me that the people that happens to are sleep walkers and talkers and eaters before taking the meds. Since I don’t do strange things in my sleep I think I will be safe.
Last night was my first night taking it, I took one tiny pill at 7:00 p.m. with everyone telling me it would only take 15 minutes for it to take effect, well that was not the case it took a good 30 minutes, so I figure tonight I will take it at 6:45. I have to tell you, I woke up this morning refreshed, not groggy, I almost feel like my old self. He wants me to take the pills for 5 nights in a row to get my body and brain back to my version of normalcy. I am hopeful a full weeks worth of sleep will do the trick and I will be back to myself. One can only hope.

Yesterday was the big luncheon, I promise they just keep getting better and better, I don’t know how we are going to top April’s luncheon. The place was perfect, Maggiano’s, I had never been there, the waiter, Chris, amazing, if you go there ask for him and the company was nothing short of terrific. Our guest from Mary Kay Corporate, Shirley, was kind and gracious. She brought us fabulous Seminar jewelry to wear during lunch. Stunning pieces, the pieces ranged from 1 to 11 carats in jewels. So much fun to try all of the eye candy treats on; and so inspiring for us to work hard and earn one of the sparkly jewels. Next she brought us presents; we each received a beautiful necklace and earrings set, and a beautiful business card holder, something we can proudly whip out to give a potential customer our cards. Just sparkly enough to garner attention without being gaudy. We all wore fabulous hats and even our guest, Shirley, wore hers! We have decided to have our next month’s lunch at Zea’s, another place I have never been, so am very excited. We have also decided the theme is wear pink. We will be celebrating Mary Kay’s birthday, Sandi’s birthday and Mother’s Day all rolled into one magnificent lunch.
I have to give a huge shout out to Rachel for loaning me her beautiful red hat, it was a huge it and made me feel very grown up and sophisticated wearing it. I have never been a hat person, but I may have to change my mind.

I have amazing news, I learned from Wanda that Mary Kay Corporate heard about our group, our efforts to keep our group together after the loss of our leader and were moved by our story. They contacted Wanda and asked if they could send a speaker to our next luncheon. Of course she said yes. So, this Sunday we will not only be lunching we will be hearing from a guest speaker from Mary Kay Corporate. I cannot help but think that Sandi is looking down at us and is pleased with our efforts to keep things going.
This has been a crazy week, a very busy, action packed week. On Wednesday our local CWA 6215 marched on the steps of the state capitol of Texas in Austin. We were not the only ones there, many unions were represented. We do not have a firm head count as of yet, but we do know there were over two thousand people there. It was amazing to be part of something larger than myself, to fight for our right to bargain, for better education for our children, better care for our disabled and elderly, I hope that Rick Perry takes not. I hope they all take note, we are a voice that will not be denied, we will be heard, we do have voting rights and we are not afraid to use them.
My anger is still in full force, however, I have decided to give it a rest for now, I am sure in the very near future someone will post something on facebook that will set me off again. But for now my soapbox and high horse are back in the closet, the hall closet, easily accessible.
Happy Friday everyone, it is going to be a great day, filled with great Texas weather and good friends, amazing conversations and well just the fact it is Friday makes it pretty cool.

I’m still angry, angry at women who continue to believe they cannot live without a man so they settle for any old man who comes along. Who cares if he berates you, beats you physically, emotionally or mentally, isn’t faithful, who cares? Who cares indeed, well you should care. You should care a great deal about how you are treated; the bible places your worth above rubies, so I don’t understand why you are setting your price so low?
When I read on facebook a status update written by a mother of two, an infant and a toddler about how she wants to snuggle with someone. Well, you have two children; shouldn’t they be your focus? Not your own physical, and might I add fleeting, needs? Quit posting you are bored and want to go out and party, you are an embarrassment to motherhood. Focus on those two children who did not choose to be here, you chose to bring them into this world, now it is your responsibility to woman up. Be a mom, if God chooses to bring a man into your life, well I hope you wait for that one instead of going with the first one who shows any sort of attention.
And for the record if you are the woman who is belittling your significant other, shame on you. I seriously do not understand the co-dependency that is running rampant. I know what I am worth, I know what I deserve, and I am very good at communicating those facts. I have no issues cutting people off who do not treat me the way I want and deserve to be treated. I know that these are harsh words, I feel as if now is the time to be brutally honest. And tell all of you I do not understand my own genders willingness to be abused. The one thing I am really proud of is the way I raised my daughter, she stands on her own two feet, she is strong and opinionated and vocal. No one treats her like dirt and gets away with it. Elizabeth Anne I am proud to be your mother, you make me proud on a daily basis.
I leave you with this:
Proverbs 31:10-31 (King James Version)
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

I have up until now refrained from speaking on the train wreck that is Chris Brown, however, with two women celebrities coming out as staunch supporters of his I find that I can no longer keep silent. Rosie O’Donnell said that if you don’t like Chris Brown you are racist, Sherrie Shepherd says that he is amazing and how can you not like him and forgive him. She went on and on about his performance on Dancing with the Stars, what she failed to mention is that Tom Bergeron refused to interview him, in fact said do not bring him over here to talk to me, Cheryl Burke refused to be backstage with him, she is a victim of domestic violence and from what I have read several other stars refused to acknowledge his presence.
I would like to address the racist part of this first, does anyone remember Tracy Lawrence? He was a rising country star in the mid to late 1990’s, he was up there with Tim McGraw and Toby Keith, I am not a fan of country music and I loved him. As a matter of fact went to several of his concerts, had his CD’s, loved his videos. They were innovative, unusual country videos; he was ahead of his time. Then he got married, to a beautiful girl, she was from Dallas, they went to Las Vegas, and he beat her in their hotel room. Now you know why you don’t know who Tracy Lawrence is, the country community never forgave him; if you hear his music on the radio it is rare. Videos? Gone. Did I mention he is white?
You have two artists, who did the same thing, beat a woman, not just any women, the women they were supposed to love. One artist in the hip hop community one in the country community. The country community shunned their artist who was amazingly talented. What I want to know is why are two women coming out in support of a woman beater? This is the horrifying part to me, forgiveness is one thing, but embracing him? I am saying this right now, Sherrie Shepherd you should be ashamed of yourself for supporting this woman beater, what message are you sending your son? Oh honey, it’s ok to beat a woman as long as you are talented. Is that the message? And Rosie O’Donnell, well, we all know you are crazy as a loon, but you have a son as well. Is this the message you want him to learn?
I do not care who you are, white, black, purple, red, multicolored, gay, straight, or transgender, it is never ok to beat the people we love. I don’t care how talented you are, if you are doing this, stop, get help, and to the people that are being abused, leave, go to a shelter, go to a friend’s house or your local church. We will support you, unlike these two women in the public eye; we will support you and help you onto your feet. Oh and if you are the one being beaten please do not release a song saying how much whips and chains excite you. Pure craziness. The whole situation. I am appalled at how women stay with men who abuse them, or go running back to them when they say oh I’m sorry. Whether it is physical or mental or emotional, no one deserves that and if this is happening to you, LEAVE and do not go back. Women if you are out there abusing your significant other, you need to stop as well; it is not only men abusing women it goes both ways. We see it on MTV’s Teen Mom. I am appalled at how this violence seems to be entertainment these days, are we turning into Caligula’s Rome? Where any kind of behavior is acceptable? I hope not, I have the utmost faith in the human spirit and will continue to believe that we shall rise above and realize Gene Roddenberry’s future of equality.

I have lost my fearlessness. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I came to that realization recently. It was when I drove into a near empty parking lot and thought, wouldn’t this be perfect for doing donuts in. then it hit me that there was no way I was going to do that. I had a modicum of fear. When I was younger I would not have hesitated, does anyone remember the parking lot at the Safeway and TG&Y in Owasso? That parking lot was perfect for doing donuts in, especially in the winter when it was snowy. I remember it so well, the out of control feeling, the pure freedom from conventional society. That you were somehow doing something that was forbidden. I don’t even know, is that illegal?
When did I become scared of something so simple? I have always been afraid of two things, one a healthy fear of water, lake water to be exact, I am convinced there are water moccasins in every lake as well as alligators. Yes I believe there are alligators in the lakes in Oklahoma, you know people bought them as pets then flushed them down the toilet. They are everywhere! Along with snakes, I refuse to go into any lake.
The other thing is heights, I love going skiing but I hate going on the ski lift, I scream mommy all the way up, then when I get to the top I refuse to go back down. It is inevitable that the ski patrol is coming to get me. Then I go down the mountain riding behind a really cute boy on a snowmobile and I get hot chocolate at the end of the ride. Really not a bad deal at all.
Those things I have always been fearful of, nothing else, until recently, when did I lose my bravado? Is it only a youthful happening? This fearlessness? I miss it, I don’t know when it left me, but I find I miss it. I see a parking lot that would be perfect for donuts and I miss my fearlessness. Oh don’t get me wrong, I am still not afraid of almost anything, the only things I seem to fear now are the things that could physically harm me. I still like to drive fast, I dread the day I lose that joy, and it does give me joy, to open the throttle on the highway, let loose and just drive. My dream is to travel to Germany and drive on the autobahn, I could finally go as fast as I wanted with no fear of speeding tickets. I hope I get to do it before all of my fearlessness leaves me.

Well, Career Conference has come and gone, it was a bittersweet experience. We found that a lot of people did not know that Sandi has passed away, since she had been in Mary Kay for over 20 years there were a lot of people asking where she was. Wanda is our official spokeswoman so she is the one that had to tell them over and over. That was the bitter part; the sweet part was bonding with Wanda and Louise. We had the best time, talking, learning and just being together. Realizing that you have so much in common with women that you have known for years is just priceless. We had a great learning experience from Mary Kay, we were able to tell Sandi stories and not feel no one wanted to really hear them, we all had such a different relationship with her, we also talked about everything under the sun. So much fun, I cannot stress that enough. I cannot wait for our luncheon this coming Sunday!
Today the weather is very much a Dark Shadows kind of day, it is amazing, it makes me want to stay home and read. I have a new book that I have not been able to lose myself in due to outside forces, however, I foresee myself reading away on Saturday. And sleeping, till at least 7:00 A.M., so excited about that! I find myself in desperate need of Starbucks today, however, with the rain and lightening, it is doubtful I will leave the building until it is time to go home. As I sit here I can hear the rain hitting the window, I love that sound. For some reason it comforts me, calms me and gives me hope. Growing up in a farm oriented family you learn a lot about rain and how it renews the earth and enables the plants to grow and provide food for not only us but the animals. Rain is cleansing, purifying, quenching, life affirming and simply amazing. I hope everyone enjoys the rain as much as I do. I also hope everyone is careful out there, the roads are slick and, as with ice, people cannot drive on it.