A Good Start to a Bad Month

Today I participated in the MK5K, it was for the Mary Kay Foundation that provides money for cancer research to cure cancer in women, and also to fight against domestic violence. I walked in memory of my friend Sandi. This month marks the first anniversary of her passing. I still cannot believe she is gone, after a 20 year battle with breast cancer. I still say she won in the end, she fought a courageous battle, with dignity and grace. I can only hope if something happens to me I will behave in the same manner. I still miss her every day, I cried for about half of the walk, such a huge part of my life is missing. She was my rock, my cheerleader, my mentor, my life coach, and simply a friend.
This month also marks the anniversary of my son’s passing, on the date it will be 27 years, I still miss him as well. I look at my remaining children and think, which one would he look like? He and Elizabeth looked so much alike, but then Jeffrey and Michael looked so much alike, when Tess was born she looked exactly like Michael, it literally took my breath away. It was almost like God gave him back to us in her.
October is a hard month, this year is harder than last, for so many reasons, I am searching for something positive in my life. I have a fantastic daughter, Elizabeth, who amazes every day with her humor, her beauty, her brains and her very existence. Plus she is the only one of my children who reads this, so she gets extra brownie points. I wish I had more to be positive about, I am normally a positive person, I enjoy being positive. I have never let anything get me down for too long, so I hope this apathy passes soon.
Today was positive, it was exactly what I needed to take myself outside, well me, and not think about anything, just walk. I finished the 5K in 58 minutes, not too bad for no training, and me being an old woman. I am kinda proud of that. I am also proud that I could contribute some funds to the Mary Kay foundation. Every dollar helps.

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