Well here we are, the day that brings me so many memories. The memories of the day are joyous, my heart still sings with the memory of Michael being born. Hearing his cry, holding him, counting his fingers and toes, looking at his beautiful face.
There is a scene in the Buffy episode The Body, where Buffy imagines what it would have been like if she had just gotten there in time. If her mother had lived.
I have those thoughts of Michael, what would he have been like as an adult. Knowing Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex, I believe I get a glimpse of what his humor would have been like. His demeanor, his looks, his closeness to his siblings.
I do wonder, would he have worked in the same field as his brothers or would he be more like me. Would he have gotten married and had children by now.
In an instant I imagine the what if, I think we all do it, we who are left behind.
I know where he is, I know my mom and grandma are taking care of him, taking my place until I can be his mother once more.
Spam Mail
On my J. O. B. we get a ton of spam email in our company mail. Instead of being frustrated or angry about it we choose to make jokes about it. Throughout the day one can hear hey if we give this guy our bank account information an African Prince will give us a million dollars. Or we can get a cheap car.
Yesterday we all relieved an email touting the ability to get an ex back. It made me think about my exes. I had to think hard, the only ones I could come up with was, well of course my ex-husband and boys from school days past.
I don’t have a lot of exes, so I did the only logical thing I could. I called the Irishman and informed him of the email and suggested we break up so I could see if the information in the missive would in fact get him back.
I was met with silence, as I usually am when I propose something off beat. After a few seconds he said um no, I said why not. He said since we had broken up once that we couldn’t do it again. I said I remember that time, you brought me ice cream. I like ice cream, he has not brought me ice cream since.
What is it with men that once they get you they don’t bring you ice cream? Or Taco Bueno. I would love it if someone surprised me with food. Not like liver or gravy or onions, but anything else yeah. Oh no lettuce either, that’s gross.
I would love it if the Irishman went back to wooing me with ice cream and candy, he used to bring me yellow starbursts because they are my favorite.
My Review of the New Mary Kay Product
Happy Monday everyone. Warning to BBFF this will be a skin care post.
As anyone who knows me knows that I have been using Mary Kay skin care products since Elizabeth Anne was 6 months old. She is now 24. I have exclusively used the products since then, I even used the shampoo and conditioner when they had that.
Well now they have a new product called Volu-Firm, I always try before I recommend.
I was very happy with the TimeWise skin care regimen, so I was a little hesitant to change. However, since it is Mary Kay and I love everything I threw caution to the wind, ordered it and began my journey.
Huge surprise, I love it! I can actually feel it working and tightening my skin. I feel like I look younger and my skin looks great.
I am going to post a picture, well two, side by side, me at 17 and (gulp) me now at 49. Yes I said it, 49, I usually don’t admit my age, but I happen to think I look pretty good. I’ll let you be the judge.
Life
With the passing of Kidd Kraddick I am thinking a lot about what my life says about who I am. There is nothing more difficult than looking at yourself and seeing who you really are.
Kidd touched so many lives, leaving a legacy of do what you love, help others while doing it. I am searching for what I really love, I have two things in my life that I genuinely love doing, I don’t get paid for either and I don’t know how to get paid doing them. Quitting my job to do them full time is not a viable option.
So I am left to ponder and pray, I want so much to find my purpose in life. What am I supposed to be doing? What does God want me to do?
I don’t really know what I’m good at, I have asked others what they think I’m good at, no one seems to have a suggestion. Apparently I am not good at anything, so I guess an unfulfilled life will continue. I feel restless, I know I need to do something, I need to be still and listen to God. I need to take my own advice.
Angie World 