Parenting Goals

On social media we see a lot of #couplegoals #relationshipgoals #squadgoals and on and on, but what about parenting goals? If it is out there I have yet to see it, so I will tell you mine. Even though my children are grown, I still have parenting goals, I believe parents have them until the day they die. Which will not be for a very long time for me.

I talk to people all day every day and I have friends and people I went to school with and people I have known in life and the saddest thing I hear is “my kids won’t have anything to do with me”.

I don’t know how to respond to that sentence, my children became my world the moment I learned of their existence and they continue to be in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis. We talk and text and see each other often, I moved to a different city to be closer to them as adults. I literally cannot imagine a world where they don’t speak to me or have anything to do with me.

Maybe a lot of it comes from being a single parent, we are all close, maybe it comes from me being that nosey parent, I just can’t let go. This does not mean I don’t live my life and do the things I want to do, quite the opposite.

I do all of the things I want to do for me and I still have plenty of time to invade my children’s privacy, I mean talk to them and see them. 

Have we had differences over the years? Absolutely, there comes a time when daughters try and break free of their mothers because they want to be the rulers in their world. There comes the teenage rebellions, the I know everything and you know nothing stages, but through it all, I never allowed them to put a lot of distance between us. I believe I gave them just enough space to find themselves and be who they are supposed to be, yet enough closeness to let them know I would always be there and be their safety net along the way. 

It very literally breaks my heart when people tell me they don’t talk to their adult children. I had a customer call in, who was incredibly angry that the channel she normally watches (Hallmark Murders and Mystery) was not showing Matlock, instead they had Christmas movies on. She said do you know how this makes me feel to see happy people? I had no words, I had to explain that we could only show what the network gives us. She said well I have nothing then, my kids don’t talk to me, I have no friends all I have is Matlock. I honestly didn’t know what to say to all of that.

For all of my love of television and movies and yes Dean, Lois and Clark, Chuck, anything with Star in the title (Star Trek(first love) Star Wars, Stargate (all of them) Battlestar Galactica and on and on, if I didn’t have my children my life really would be meaningless. 

So my parenting goal is for my adult children to always know I’ll be here, no matter what, no matter where their lives take them, no matter the people in them, no matter what decisions they make along the way, I’ll be there.

As usual any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here, any hate or vitriol will be deleted as it is my world, or you can email me at

Just Call Me Empress

Age is a great equalizer, we hear that a lot, but I will tell you what a real equalizer is, when someone’s internet or tv service goes down. That is the real equalizer, I see it a lot in my industry. People across the board, young, old, wealthy, poor, middle of the road, all turn into the same person when their services go down.

I see it a lot, I see a lot of human nature in my job, I can see where society can crumble in an instant. We have nothing but a sheer veneer of civility falls away quickly when something in our world doesn’t go the way we want it to, or think is should.

I’ll be honest, sometimes I understand that reaction, sometimes I do not, at times I look at what is happening and think if that is the worst thing that happens in your world, it’s going pretty good.

But at time I understand it due to the fact that I have been through it, I have lost my internet for almost a week and completely lost it when they called me and said they sent a signal to the modem. I had no sync! I lost my mind, or my civility at that point.

Here’s my question, if we lose our ability to confer civilly when a service is down, how do we expect to keep it during a real crisis?

No internet or television is not the end of all life, it does hinder a business, but I am talking just regular people, for this scenario we are just talking normal, everyday usage. Not emergency services or business, just residential.

Can we trust ourselves to act with civility during a real earth changing crisis? Zombies, nuclear winter, something of that nature. I like to think I would be a Rick Grimes, but he lost his civility several times. I would probably lose mine as well if my family were threatened, I know I would, there is no doubt about it.

I like to think I only lose it for important things, or when I have been pushed to my limit. There have been those instances in my personal life, I have been pushed to my limit emotionally and mentally and that was it, I have snapped. 

It takes a lot to push me to the edge but once I am there, all bets are off, that veneer of civility is completely gone. I suggest when that happens people leave the state of Texas. The whole state, it is never pretty and I can be ruthless, it is typically when I feel attacked or when my children are maligned in some way. 

I know without one doubt that I would survive in an apocalyptic world. I would be Empress, with Fat Catstard as my enforcer, Tess as the EIT (Empress in Training), BBFF as my majordomo. I am liking how this world is shaping up.

I’m going to go plot my takeover now. Have a great weekend. 

Coldness = Happiness

Finally, it’s here, cold weather, as I sit here and type it is 43 degrees, with a low of 38 degrees. Tomorrow it will be a high of 52 and a low of 35 degrees. How awesome is this!

The only thing missing is snow, if we could get snow here I would be so happy.

I have to work tomorrow and I don’t normally work on Fridays, but it is totally worth it.

A one day weekend so worth meeting Dean (that’s what I call him now), and worth meeting my BFF’s husband. And seeing my great nephew and my ex-in-laws, all worth it; even the lack of sleep last weekend. I am still paying for that, I slept like a rock last night, a combination of rain and exhaustion.

I have a husky that is incredibly happy with this weather, since I have been home today she has gone out about a hundred times. She wants to stay out, but I have learned, through the Next Door app, that people don’t understand big fluffy dogs and how they love this weather.

Seriously filled with bring our dogs in, then the people like me saying um you don’t understand big fluffy dogs, they enjoy this weather and it is hard to get them inside. Mind your business small dog owner, that is really the gist of it. I stay out of that fray, really any fray online, so not worth the headaches.

I met my new neighbor today, only because someone stole her packages and she wanted to know if I had seen UPS. I explained I go to work at 6am and I was just getting home. Then she left and went to the next neighbor, I have never had a package stollen, I think they delivered it to the wrong house. I hope she finds them.

The Flerken, aka Fat Catstard, aka Ronald, is still not happy with me for letting another human invade his space. He keeps giving me really evil looks and he also follows me around and will not leave my side. I woke to him looking me dead in the eye this morning, it was jarring and I am fearful for my life. If any of my coworkers are reading this, one day, if I don’t show up, please send help, the cat has finally succeeded in his bid to take over the house.

As I sit and type the he is staring at me, plotting, he is an evil genius.

That’s all for now, I need to shop, soon we will have boot day at work, I may need new ones for that. Or I could wear the ones that look like Chanel, but they are not, but they are super cute.

I’m going now, i’m tired and am in desperate need of Chanel, or The Devil Wears Prada, I’m not sure which. Oh wow, I just realized if my cat were human and female, he would be Miranda Priestly.

I’m going to go fear for my life now. Peace out peeps. Pray for me.

Absolute Power

Every time I open my banking app it says “What do you want the power to do?” Isn’t that an intriguing question?

The things I would do with absolute power, I added the absolute because well, it’s my world.

I don’t think I could be trusted with power, I’d be a despot, I’ve proven that before, ask anyone who’s ever seen one of my seating charts.

If I had absolute power I would not be working Friday. I changed my schedule this week to have Sunday off so I could meet Dean (that’s what I call him now). Worth it, I will say Friday’s at work are a little more hectic. Although I don’t really know what this Friday will bring as we start a new project tomorrow.

I am equal parts apprehensive and excited, I always like work that I can sink my teeth into and find resolutions for problems. That’s what we do in my office, take a puzzle and figure it out and fix things for our customers.

I love my job, I don’t always love the processes but we have an avenue to offer solutions for broken processes. So I still love my job, even with the imperfections.

Today we had visitors and one of the managers asked if they could sit someone with me to see what we do. I seem to be the one they sit people with, I think it’s because I’m funny. She was really nice and took lots of notes, then said she liked the way I answer the phone. Ok. There you have it, I’m good at answering the phone.

I am watching Lois and Clark right now, huge surprise, it’s the one with Tony Curtis. I met him years ago, he was really nice and very genuine and gracious.

I don’t think I’ve ever met a pompous actor or actress. I met Mary Tyler Moore at the same time, they were doing a movie together and she was really sweet as well.

I’m rambling now so I’m going to sleep, I hope you all have a great evening. Wish me luck with our new project.

Best Friends Ever

I was talking to BBFF yesterday, giving him all of the skinny regarding my trip to Tulsa, when I said I was amazed at all of the support I have in my world. He said he was blown away by the friends that I have and the comments they made on my Facebook. I thought I would take a few moments and acknowledge a few people.

First off, my ex-in-laws, they are literally the best, when they saw Dean (that’s what I call him now) was going to be in Tulsa they snapped a picture of the newspaper article and sent it to me and said you have to go. They even offered their guest room to me if I didn’t have anywhere to stay. I love them so much, I don’t know if they really realize how much they mean to me and my children. I hope they do, they really are amazing people.

Then my Bestie Shay, who didn’t hesitate to volunteer to watch my animals, I’m not sure if she regrets that or not, Fat Catstard was incredibly menacing and Stormie kept bringing her food. She’s sure it was to fatten her up for a midnight snack. She persevered and survived as did the animals, they really told me about it when I returned home. Storm has not stopped Husky talking and Ronald (aka Fat Catstard) keeps meowing at me.

My BBFF who kept giving me pep talks so I wouldn’t Baio this up, which I didn’t. Yay him and yay me. Goal achieved.

My friend Michelle that I work with, my fellow dog lover, she has encouraged this since hearing me talk about Dean. Her heartwarming comments on my post and her immediate I’m praying for this made my heart sing.

Since my mom passed away the one thing I thought I was missing was someone praying for me. I couldn’t have been more wrong, I do have someone praying for me and it means the world to me.

My BFF Tammi, when I tell you she is the one keeping me from being completely hard hearted, I’m not kidding. Her unwavering belief in love over the years, no matter the trials in her life keeps me believing. She has never allowed anything on this earth harden her, my goal is to be more like her. With an open heart and less skepticism, it’s hard for me, but I try.

My friends at work, they all encourage me in my madness and they all are incredibly supportive and encouraging and love to plan my outfits.

My children for their good natured teasing and for their support in my insanity. I love them so much, I hope they know how much I love and adore them. They have been my world since the day they were born and continue to be so, even as I have given them their space to be who they are supposed to be, they are still my world.

So I have the best friends ever, the best family ever and I am still smiling, I literally cannot stop. Even with customers yelling at me and cursing at me, nothing can take my smile away.

I hope you have a great week, I hope you all have great friends the way I do, and protect yourself from evil genius cats.

So now I am done, I promise to talk about other things soon, but this literally has been the highlight of my year.


I have had something on my mind for a long time, years, so many.

Whenever someone says to only shop local, don’t give your money to big corporations, don’t shop on Amazon, don’t go to Walmart, don’t shop at big box stores, don’t don’t don’t; I get a little irritated.

I work for a large corporation and if people didn’t buy our products I wouldn’t have a job, I wouldn’t be able to buy the boots I want, shoes, live in the neighborhood I want, drive the car I want. There are a lot of things I couldn’t do without a job, my job, my really good job in a large corporation.

The other places employ people as well, they are working to buy boots, probably not as cute as mine, but nevertheless, boots, cars, homes, food, clothes all kinds of things.

My job and their jobs enable us to also shop locally, purchasing the handmade goods and farmers markets that  keep a community functioning.

All jobs are important, shop where you want, personally, not boot related, I have three stores that I frequent. Target, Costco and Whole Foods, I love those stores. I don’t plan on stopping my shopping simply because people don’t like those stores.

honestly, have you been in a Costco? The workers are so happy! I love walking in there, they greet me, they smile and they hand out food. What is not to love!

Whole Foods gives out wine samples, they have my favorite supplements that I can’t find anywhere else. Their chicken soup is the best I’ve ever had, yes, even better than my mom’s soup. She made great chicken soup, but it cannot even touch Whole Foods. They also enable me to think i’m being bad when I’m being healthy. I do try to eat as clean as possible and they help keep me on track.

Target is just fun, and clean and they have cute things and sell books. I do love books, I know digital books are all the rage, but there is nothing like holding a book in your hands and turning the pages. So satisfying to close it when you are done.

The next time you want to rail on big corporations, think about all of the paychecks it generates. Not just at that company, but the people it pays goes out into the communities and spends that money.

I feel better, thanks for listening, or reading as the case may be.

Today was jersey day at work, sports not cows, I, of course, wore my OU jersey. I do believe I was the only one that wore a college team, everyone else was wear pro ball teams.

We are a very diverse group, a lot of transplants in my office, of course there were Cowboy jersey’s because, well, Texas. The Chiefs, Colts, Bears, Saints, 49er’s and Raiders were also in the house. I love friendly rivalry, it is so much fun, like when my friend who is a rabid UT fan wears orange to work. Then runs up and hugs me, while I’m saying get that orange off of me! Germs. So much fun, I hope no one ever thinks I am really offended. I don’t think yelling hashtag me too helps, but hopefully they know.

I’m done for the day, I did get a really good nights sleep last night. I am hoping to repeat it tonight, I hope you all have a great night.

As usual, any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at

Final Encounter with Dean Cain

Today was it folks, the last day I would get to see Dean Cain. I admit I didn’t get much sleep last night, again, nerves, trying to tell myself I was not going to Baio this up. Once again, nothing on Scott Baio, it was me, how I behaved when I met him, he was a delight, me, well, donkey comes to mind.

So anyway, I am trying to appear completely insane, I walk up to his table and he remembered me. At least he said he did, he is really nice. Fun fact, the woman in front of me said her name was Dixie Carter! How funny is that, I am a huge Designing Women fan and Julia Sugarbaker was my favorite character. I digress, after her turn it was mine and he was really sweet. He thought what I brought for him to sign was really cool. At least he said he did, I explained how I actually came to be in possession of such a find.

I think he enjoyed the story, the point of all of this is I did not Baio this up.

I did not squeal once, in his presence, I did not fling myself at his feet and beg him to marry me. I do believe I acquitted myself like an adult.

After that there really wasn’t anything left that I wanted to do or see there so I drove home.

I had plenty of time to think about things, people keep asking me if I will start to date after meeting Dean Cain and getting all of that nonsense out of my system.

The answer is no, I shan’t, simply because I don’t want to, there is literally no one my age that compares. And besides the men my age date 20 year olds, it is ridiculous. Even men older than I date 20 year olds! So no, I shan’t.

I am happily single with my Fat Catstard a.k.a Ronald and Stormie. Seeing my children and Tess, it’s a great life and I have great friends.

I already have my next road trip planned, in February, I am also planning out a trip to Disney World, I really want to do the Star Wars thing.

I have a lot on my plate and I just can’t even imagine dating. Much like Dean said in his panel, he said that like Big Foot’s existence, he is hopeful but skeptical, the same goes for dating. Those were not his exact words but you get the gist.

I am home, tired and need sleep, I tried to nap but the Flerken and Dire Wolf took up a lot of my time, they were very needy.

As usual any questions, comments or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at

Part Deux Dean Cain Adventure

First off, I have a mini rant I really need to get off my chest. I seriously hate it when Siri says proceed to the route. If I knew where the route was I wouldn’t need you! In the pitch dark on a country road is not the time to tell me to proceed to the route. I feel better, now for the good stuff.

The big day arrived, I wake in the hotel and my Fitbit tells me I slept 4 hours. I may have been a tad bit excited, apprehensive or my Fitbit lies. Probably the first two.

I go to the event location, get all of the VIP things I bought, too much, I can’t even begin to explain the stupor I was in when I clicked all of those buttons.

First up is the panel, I actually sat in a room with Dean Cain. This world is awesome, I met up with two twitter peeps who are so nice and they don’t seem to think I’m crazy.

He is as pretty in person as he is on television and on social media. He took questions from the audience. I actually got to speak twice. One was a question and one was a suggestion.

Someone asked if he would do a reboot or continuation of Lois and Clark. He said sure but getting the funding would be the thing. I said oh I know that one! I said you could do a Veronica Mars and set up a go fund me. He said that would be tricky because Warner Brothers owns that character. I said I’ll make a call (totally joking with him) he said we’ll talk later. At that I think I passed out inside.

My next question was if you could play any super villain in the DC world who would it be. He said that was a good question and eventually said he didn’t know.

Next was the photo op, he hugged me twice. Like a full on hug. In geek world I think that means we are already married. 🤣🤓🤦🏻‍♀️

It was really amazing and he was really nice, today is the selfie and autograph.

After all of that I met up with my great nephew, we had the best talk and he is doing so well. I’m so proud of him.

Then, if things couldn’t get more exciting I got to meet my BFF’s (Tammi) new husband! So much fun and he is a fantastic drummer.

It has been a great trip so far oh and this morning someone paid for my Starbucks! That never happens to me!!

I can’t wait to see what today brings!

Oh and don’t we make a cute couple. 😍😍🤷🏻‍♀️

Dean Cain Adventure part I

Where to begin? Thursday evening, that really starts the whole adventure off. Shay, my favorite Bestie Ever, came over for instructions on how to care for Fat Catstard aka Ronald and Stormie.

I showed her the food for both, water and treats. Showed her how to get Storm in her kennel and tried to warn her about the feline super villain. Also she got her gift basket for doing this for me so I could meet Dean Cain in person.

The rest of the evening was spent packing for the next days travel.

Friday morning, after a quick stop to drop off things for Elizabeth Anne, I am off to Oklahoma. Tulsa that is.

I do love my music and who knew that every song spoke to my heart. That Lionel Ritchie can weave a magical tale.

I finally get to Tulsa and see the Marriott, I stop and go in, they can’t find my reservation! 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🙀

I pull it up on my phone, the very nice woman says oh that’s the next Marriott down the street. I said thank you sweet baby Jesus. I was almost in full panic mode. Who knew two Marriotts would be so close together!

I get to the right one and call my former in-laws. Ex seems like such a harsh word and I still consider them family. Anyway, I get a suggestion for a nail place because I can’t meet Dean with raggedy nails.

They did a fantastic job, crimson and cream, because OU. Everyone does that right? I can’t be the only one that gets their nails done in the colors of their favorite team.

Then I head to the Elks lodge and I have a great time catching up with M and R. I don’t know if I have their permission to put their names on here.

I go back to the hotel because I am exhausted, I can’t sleep. My poor Fitbit says I only had 4 hours of sleep. So nervous to meet this man. I’ve only waited 26 years.

I can’t wait to tell you what happened in the panel and when I had a photo op with him!

Going Home Sendoff

Yesterday was the celebration of a life well lived for my friends son. As most of you know I am somewhat of a funeral snob. I have been going to them since I was a young child. Some people believe that children should not attend funerals. I have the opposite belief, death is the great equalizer and it will come to every single one of us eventually.

I have to tell you all this was one of the best send offs I have been to, I really hate that it was for someone so young, but the people that came and spoke showed that this young man did what he was supposed to here on earth.

It was a packed sanctuary, standing room only, people were even sitting in the choir. When the preacher, and yes he was a preacher, not a minister, asked if anyone would like to say a few words, friends of this young man went up.

They all had the same thing to say, a ready smile, generous, would give you the shirt off of his back, but I already knew that, see when you know the head of the household, you know the heart of the household. 

When the heart is not happy, the leader of the household is not happy, and my friend is a happy man. I knew those things already about his son.

It was when one of his Army buddies got up and spoke that I saw the real heart of this young man. Who he was as a man, his friend told the story of the place they met. He said they literally met in hell, it was Afghanistan, and they were fighting insurgents. He said that his friend was the beaming light in that place and actually led him to Christ by his actions and by showing the light of Jesus in that incredibly dark place. 

That testimony did not surprise me, knowing my friend the way I do, I have no doubt this is the way he and his wife raised their family.

The preacher was incredible, he said my friend requested an old fashioned sermon and he delivered. If you have never been to an old fashioned Baptist church you will not get what I am going to tell you. I suggest you find one and go, when the preacher began to speak you could feel the Holy Spirit in that place. It was amazing to hear the words spoken in a time when so many churches are saying feel good words. This was the truth spoken, and I could feel it in my soul. 

The coming months will be hard for my friend and his family, please continue to lift them up in prayer. It is never easy to lose a child, but they can take comfort that their son did what he was supposed to do on this earth. Show the light of Jesus in his every day actions and words.