Category: General

Found it!
I believe I have found my first dance song for the wedding:
Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia

Yeah

(Sunrise)

There’s a new sun arisin’
(In your eyes) I can see a new horizon
(Realize) That will keep me realizin’
You’re the biggest part of me

(Stay the night) Need your lovin’ here beside me
(Shine the light) Need you close enough to guide me
(For all my life) I’ve been hopin’ you would find me
You’re the biggest part of me

Well

Make a wish, baby
Well, and I will make it come true
Make a list, baby
Of the things I’ll do for you
Ain’t no risk, now,
In lettin’ my love rain down on you,
So we could wash away the past,
So that we may start anew

(Rainbow) Risin’ over my shoulder;
(Love flows) Gettin’ better as we’re older
(All I know) All I want to do is hold her
She’s the life that breathes in me
(Forever) Got a feelin’ that forever
(Together) We are gonna stay together
(For better) For me, there’s nothin’ better
You’re biggest part of me

Well

Make a wish, baby
Well, and I will make it come true
Make a list, baby
Of the things I’ll do for you
Ain’t no risk, now,
In lettin’ my love rain down on you,
So we could wash away the past,
So that we may start anew

Oh

More than an easy feelin’,
She brings joy to me
How can I tell you
What it means to me?
Flow like a lazy river
For an eternity
I’ve finally found someone
Who believes in me,
And I’ll never leave

Oh

Oh, not to doubt now
Mmmm, make life grand

Well

Make a wish, baby
Well, and I will make it come true
Make a list, baby
Of the things I’ll do for you
Ain’t no risk, now,
In lettin’ my love rain down on you,
So we could wash away the past,
So that we may start anew

(Beside me) Need your lovin’ here beside me
(To guide me) Keep it close enough to guide me
(Inside of me) From the fears that are inside of me
You’re the biggest part of me

(Forever) Got a feelin’ that forever
(Together) We are gonna stay together
(Forever) From now until forever
You’re the biggest part of me
You’re the life that breathes in me
You’re the biggest part of me

Mmmmm

You changed my life
You made it right
And I’ll be a servant to you
For the rest of my life
You’re the biggest part of me….

For most of my life, well all of it, I have had no internal filter. You know the filter that tells you not to say certain things or react a certain way. The filters I have in place now are a learned behavior. It is not a natural part of my personality. I admire the people who seem to have that natural filter. When I was younger it tended to get me into a lot of trouble. I still have a tendency to be brutally honest with people. I’ll give you an example.
There is a woman here at work that is the worst mother, not that she beats her children, or starves them. The way she is the worst mother is she has men in and out of her house with the children there. The men spend the night in her bedroom; she even leaves her children alone with these men. She often wonders why her son has anger issues toward her and seemingly all females. When he was eight years old he put a metal pole through the computer, he was aiming for his sister. He behaves perfectly at his father’s house. The mother clueless as to why her son is so angry with her and all females. My manufactured filter went away and I told her exactly why he was so angry, did I mention she allowed her then 13 year old daughter to have boys in her bedroom with the door closed. She is 15 now and pregnant. When the filter crumbled I explained to her exactly what was wrong with her family dynamic. Needless to say she did not appreciate that. Not big losses having that person not speak to me. In fact it is a relief not to hear how horrendously she is mothering her children. Although I do fear for all of us when she unleashes those beasts she has created into the world.
Another time the filter has crumbled was with the health insurance company. I was trying to be diplomatic as I needed them to cover my daughter’s medication. However, after being on the phone for over an hour I lost it. I told the woman what I thought about the policies and how difficult they made it to be civil, and then I lost my civility. I won’t go into details, however it was not pretty.
I did get the medication covered. I am not saying that excuses my behavior, however, sometimes you have to lose your filter to get things done.
Now and again, the filter crumbles, and I say things I probably shouldn’t. I have a feeling I am not the only one that happens to. Any thoughts out there? Filtered of course!

Is it cliché that I live in Texas and may be getting married at South Fork Ranch? I could change the theme and I could be Sue Ellen Ewing and start drinking at 10 in the morning. Now how much fun would that be! Even if I decide to get married there, I mean we, we decide to get married there, I will be sticking with the disco theme. Think Studio 54 without the hedonism. However, and I cannot stress this enough, it is not a costume party. It is a wedding reception. Please keep your polyester at home.
Girl Scout cookies made their way to my house Saturday. Does anyone else think those things are just insidiously evil? Thin Mints, I have a total love/hate relationship with them. Confession time, I ate so many Thin Mints yesterday it would make your head spin. Today my stomach hurts! I am like a 5 year old with no control! I am drinking hot tea this morning, after my coffee of course, to try and get my system back in balance. I will not be doing that again, I will just say no to the cookies. I will never ever say here that I want a cookie. Someone seriously take me to task if I do. Last nights episode of Desperate Housewives was all about seduction. The seduction of a different life, the seduction of the obvious kind, the seduction of someone swooping in and helping you with your work day. The Thin Mints seduced me, I was weak. What in your life seduces you into doing something you would not normally do?
So hot tea for me today, cottage cheese, yogurt and possibly soup for dinner! That is all for me today, no more cookies!

This past week I have had the opportunity to have a conversation with two different people that I normally don’t truly converse with. Now before you jump to conclusions these are not hated enemies or people I look down my nose at (I haven’t looked down my nose at anyone since high school). They are just people that I don’t have an opportunity to interact with in a way that is conducive to conversation.
The first one was with a man at work, he sits on the opposite side of the building, he is kind of quiet and doesn’t socialize a lot, he simply does his work. Well this week he sat with me to see if I was having any issues with any particular part of my job. In between calls the talk became more social, he told me antic dotes about his daughter, he told me about his wife, the new baby. We talked about coffee, which for me is a total bonding moment. I simply got to see this particular co-worker in a different light. I learned some things about him, I don’t know if he learned anything about me, however, I found the whole experience enjoyable and, well, delightful. I want to thank him for all of his helpful tips and his patience with my endless questions.
My second unexpected and very enlightening conversation was with someone I have known since 8th grade; however known is a loose term here. We didn’t travel in the same circles in school, once again, not a oh I hate that person, just ran in different groups. We have reconnected on facebook, and yesterday we got to chat. And chat we did. I know he learned things about me he didn’t know, and I learned things about him I didn’t know. I feel like I have indeed made another friend for life. He and I have a shared experience and I have had an experience in my life that I hope he found helpful in hearing about. I am not ready to share what that experience is here as of yet, perhaps one day. Not a lot of people know what it is and while it is not illegal (I know you were wondering) it is intensely personal and private.
I know that is not a huge revelation, that I had a couple of conversations this week; however, it was a great experience for me. I want to encourage all of you to have your own conversations with people you don’t normally interact with. Now I am not talking about finding a stranger on the street, just perhaps someone you work with or someone you see on a daily or semi-daily basis. You might be amazed at what you find out, not only about that person but about yourself in the process. I know I learned something about myself this week, I learned that I could share something about myself and not be embarrassed about events that are of the past. I learned that my co-worker is not only super intelligent (that I already knew) but he is funny and a great family man. I hope everyone learns something about themselves this week.

How long has there been a huge craze to be thin? Perhaps it all started when we no longer wore corsets to hold everything in. I do know that before the civil war a 20 inch waist was the desired. I just want my 26 inch waist back!
I have been obsessed with being as thin as I could possibly be since I was 12 years old, that is when my cousin told me I had put on weight, and since he was my favorite cousin I took it to heart. I have been eating celery ever since.
So this is nothing new for me, the desire to be, well, Paris Hilton thin. Don’t get me wrong, I do think I look good, however, I totally could stand to lose about 100 pounds. I say 100 because I don’t want people to guess how much I weigh. Right now I have cottage cheese for breakfast and yogurt for lunch, sometimes tuna, and fish for dinner, sometimes a grapefruit. I can tell it is working. My clothes are getting looser. Since I like fitted jeans I will be needing new ones soon. I have gone from 500 calories a day to 900. The 500 was to really cleanse my body of toxins. My eating habits were out of control, candy every day, ice cream, chocolate. Nothing healthy. Now I am correcting that huge months long binge. I don’t know why I let it get out of control.
Now my goal is to look good for the mini reunion and non-reunion, I don’t want people who have not seen me since 1993 to look at me and say OMG she really let herself go. I was soooooooo obsessed with my looks in high school. I would spend hours on my hair and makeup every day. EVERY day. I am not even exaggerating about that. I would exercise constantly, doing sit ups and running in place. My senior year, I lived on celery, I would have it for breakfast. I wanted to look like my BFF Tammi so bad. I was so jealous of her naturally thin looks. Not hateful jealous, just, wow I wish I could look like that jealous. I have never ever achieved that. After my daughter Elizabeth was born, I did get down to a size 4. Major achievement. But it takes a lot to maintain that and then I got pregnant again. So that size was out the window. Of course it never helped at that time that I had a husband telling me I was fat all the time, yes, even at a size 4 he told me that. So, my obsession grew, and here we are, today, me still obsessed with my size. I can only hope that I will be like the women in my family and be a tiny old woman who can eat whatever they want and still remain tiny.

I love Facebook for so many reasons. However right now I love it for reconnecting me with the people I went to high school with. As we all know I have an unnatural love of Owasso, Oklahoma. That feeling extends to my high school years. I loved school, I know, strange. I am a great lover of the learning, I was a complete nerd, and however, I think I hid it well. I don’t think anyone knew how completely nerdy I really was, I kept that part of my life pretty secret, the book reading, the Star Trek watching, however I digress.
Facebook and reconnection.
I am finding that age is the great equalizer, it erases the clique lines, the snobbery is lessened, and before you think I am judging, I was a snob, I was in a clique. Mind you not one of the super popular ones, but a clique nonetheless. Now I am finding myself getting to know people that we didn’t really go in the same circles in school and reconnecting with people I did travel in the same circles with.
I am loving it, I love that we all share experiences with different views of them, I love the fact that we want to get together and not only reminisce but make new memories together.
There is a mini reunion planned for April, I say mini due to it is not an official reunion, it is mostly made up of us who now live in Texas, with a couple of people coming from Oklahoma. There will also be people there who did not grow up in Owasso, so it is a reunion within a gathering. There will be people there whom some of us have never met except through others on Facebook. I am so looking forward to this. I talked my BFF, Tammi, into coming down for the event. She and I will be coordinating outfits and shoes. I believe I will wear my new BCBG shoes that I got for Christmas. They totally rock.
The people I have reconnected with from Owasso have had so many great life experiences and are so intelligent; I can only hope I can keep up with the conversation. I will let you all know how it goes, oh and let you all know what outfit I choose to wear to wow people I have not seen since 1992, our ten year reunion, and people I have never met. Remember, when in doubt that you can wow them intellectually, a great outfit overrides all!

I woke with a massive headache. I am on my second giant cup of coffee right now to try and remedy it. Wish me luck!
I have come up with one idea for the wedding reception, I know what you are thinking, oh no, but wait, it’s not a crazy one!

I was reading a bridal magazine and they had this idea and I am going to copy it. A kids room. You set up a separate room for the kids, you have paper table clothes and tons of crayons, kid friendly food, a goody table, hire a couple of babysitters to watch them. This way the kids can have fun and not be bored at the adult function. I was telling a man I work with about it and he suggested bringing in a couple of tv’s for games for the older kids. A brilliant idea, as John has a son that will be about 14 at the time of the wedding.
Of course the children will be free to come in where their parents are, we will not be strict about that, when I read that idea I thought how much fun for the kids!
If anyone has any other ideas I am almost open to suggestion. I am still going with the disco theme, I love it, it is my thing, I am known for my great love of that era, and it will be fun. I promise.
I told John about the kid friendly party within the reception and he loved the idea. I really do want this to be a fun event for adults and children alike. I am not a big fan of adult only weddings. Especially considering John and I both have children, yes his are way younger than mine, but I also have grandchildren. I would never want them excluded.
Oh and here is the best news, if we have the wedding at South Fork I can have a horse drawn carriage!!

Ok, I thought I had found the perfect song for our first dance, then I listened to the lyrics:
Too Hot – Kool and the Gang

At seventeen we fell in love
High school sweethearts, love was so brand new
We took the vows of man and wife
Forever, for life

I remember how we made our way
A little patience, the time we pray
Can’t imagine that this love is through
Feelin’ the pain, girl, when you lose

Oh it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, too hot, lady
We gotta cool this anger, what a mess we made
So long ago you were my love, oh my love

Flyin’ high we never took the time
To stop and feel the need
Funny how those years go by
Changing you, changing me

I remember love’s fever
In our hearts, girl and in our minds
Feelin’ the pain, girl, when you lose

Oh it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta cool this anger, from the mess that we’ve made
So long ago you were my love, feeling the pain

Oh it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta cool this anger, from the mess that we’ve made

it’s too hot, too hot, lady
Gotta run for shelter, gotta run for shade
It’s too hot, so so hot, lady…

It’s a break up song! totally inappropriate for the occasion… Back to the drawing board for me!

This is not original I copied it from:
Clara Moskowitz
LiveScience Senior Writer
LiveScience.com clara Moskowitz
livescience Senior Writer
livescience.com – Mon Feb 22, 11:50 am ET
But I loved it and wanted to share!

1. Be grateful – Some study participants were asked to write letters of gratitude to people who had helped them in some way. The study found that these people reported a lasting increase in happiness – over weeks and even months – after implementing the habit. What’s even more surprising: Sending the letter is not necessary. Even when people wrote letters but never delivered them to the addressee, they still reported feeling better afterwards.

2. Be optimistic – Another practice that seems to help is optimistic thinking. Study participants were asked to visualize an ideal future – for example, living with a loving and supportive partner, or finding a job that was fulfilling – and describe the image in a journal entry. After doing this for a few weeks, these people too reported increased feelings of well-being.

3. Count your blessings – People who practice writing down three good things that have happened to them every week show significant boosts in happiness, studies have found. It seems the act of focusing on the positive helps people remember reasons to be glad.

4. Use your strengths – Another study asked people to identify their greatest strengths, and then to try to use these strengths in new ways. For example, someone who says they have a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. This habit, too, seems to heighten happiness.

5. Commit acts of kindness – It turns out helping others also helps ourselves. People who donate time or money to charity, or who altruistically assist people in need, report improvements in their own happiness.
Lyubomirsky has also created an iPhone application, called Live Happy, to help people boost their well-being.