The Cowboy Way

I think the one thing I miss the most with this whole not leaving the house thing is being able to tell stories. Stories about my people, so I made a decision, I am going to tell them here. Today I am going to tell you one about my Great-Grandpa, he was my grandpa and my dad’s dad. I was adopted by my great aunt and uncle, so it gets a little convoluted. The grandparents I talk about are my real grandparents on my birth mothers side. So here goes, a story my dad and grandpa used to tell me about their dad:

He was a cowboy, a real one, that rode the trail between Dodge City and Abilene. During one of those times the crew lost their cook, now this was a big deal, not just anyone could crank out edible meals on the trail. So the foreman decides they are going to take turns, he assigns one man and says the next in line will be the first to complain.

No one complained because no one wanted to be the cook. Well, the old boy (my grandpa and dad’s words) who was doing the cooking got tired of it and decided to create the most inedible meal he could come up with.

He dumped a ton of salt in the beans, that evening they are all sitting around the campfire trying to get this down. One man says this is sure salty, everyone looked at him, he continues, just the way I like it and adds more salt to the beans. The pretend cook was so angry his face turned red, then came dessert, he made a rhubarb pie, with no sugar. I don’t know if any of you have ever had rhubarb, but without sugar it is the most sour thing on earth. They take big bites and as my grandpa related it puckered their whole body. One of the old boys says this is perfect, everyone looks at him, he then walks over to the sugar and says this way we can each make it as sweet as we want.

The cook stomped off spittin’ mad! They hired a new cook at the next town.

I loved that story growing up, I loved that we were part Cowboy. I used to tell my kids that we were part Cowboy like it was a nationality.

That’s my story of the day, I hope everyone is have a great day in quarantine. I went to Costco and Target yesterday, that was an adventure.

People really are not exhibiting common courtesy, in Costco two people cut in line in front of me. One was an older woman, I let that one go, the other was one in roughly mid-thirties. That one I did not let go, I said hey excuse me, she turned around, I said I am literally standing here and you cut in front of me. I was observing the 6 feet rule and she just went in that space.

She then pretended not to speak English, I was flabbergasted, I would have continued but I realized if I did I was going to end up on a youtube video.

But seriously, don’t do this people, this is a really dangerous time to act like jackasses in grocery stores.

Yesterday was Good Friday, a day we take to acknowledge and give thanks that Christ gave up His life on earth so we could have everlasting life in heaven. Tomorrow we celebrate His resurrection, what a strange day it will be. No Easter dresses, no egg hunts, stripped bare of our trappings, we will have no excuses not to focus on the extreme gift God gave to us.

I miss my granddaughter, Good Friday is our day together and we do something fun. Next year we will have to make up for not being together this year.

Check on your friends that are grandparents, we are not ok.

I hope you all have a great Easter weekend, if you are in your home with loved ones, I pray you thank God profusely for that blessing.

Thanksgiving Choice

Apparently I have become an object of pity, I don’t even know how this happened. Wait, that’s a lie, I do know how this happened. I did it to myself, I have cultivated a life that is void of any human contact except for work and my children.

I am such a creature of pity that even my ex-husband decided to invite me to Thanksgiving. I politely declined, as I politely declined every Thanksgiving invitation.

Why you ask, its simple, Thanksgiving is family time and I don’t have one. Yes, I have my children, but at Thanksgiving they are purely their dad’s children. I gave up any thanksgiving rights a long time ago. I will not be reclaiming any of them, I refuse to go somewhere that I feel awkward.

My parents are gone, I am adopted, my siblings never saw me as real, so their families don’t see me as real. One brother is gone, the other is in a nursing home and my sister has her own family and I’m not real anyway. So I would not e spending any holidays with anyone who thinks I’m not real.

I have cousins, but they have their own families, once again the awkward thing comes into play. Its one of the reasons I don’t go to many family reunions. Because they all have shared experiences and memories and well I wasn’t there and it’s awkward. So I stay away, I’ve never remarried, so I’m alone, with a dog and a cat.

Its fine, I did it to myself and i’m good with it, for the record I had 4 invitations to Thanksgiving dinner, but they are not my family and well awkward. When you are with family you relive stories and catch up and you don’t really want a stranger sitting there with nothing to offer. It is really for the good of all I don’t show up to anything. I tried a few times and I always feel like the lone person out. So I stopped going to anyones home for a family affair.

Apparently I am an object of pity now, so old that no one would ever want me for a life partner, I mean men my age are demanding and getting much younger women, and my children are their fathers children on Thanksgiving. I would never dream of insinuating myself into that situation.

I feel it would be disrespectful to his wife, this is her show and she should be front and center in this family holiday.  Her husbands ex-wife should never show up for a family holiday. My daughter pointed out that we all get together at Easter, but this is at my son’s home. Not theirs, if it were at theirs I would not show up, because it would be disrespectful and here’s that word again, awkward.

I write all of this not for anyone to feel sorry for me but because I need to get it out, I need to expunge my feelings in writing.

I have no regrets about my life and the way it turned out, i’d do almost everything over again. I’d only change one small thing and I think we all know what that is.

So Happy Thanksgiving, if you have family and are with them, cherish it, I wish I had known the last time was the last time I would have a real family Thanksgiving. I think I would have cherished it more, I would have saved every minute in my memory bank so I could bring it out and relive it.