I would like to thank everyone for their words of encouragement yesterday, especially Elizabeth Anne who suggested a plastic surgeon. She knows I so want plastic surgery; two things keep me from going, money and fear.
I fear that once I start I won’t be able to stop, look at the celebrities who have it, they do not stop, Courtney Cox doesn’t even look like herself anymore and she was so pretty in Friends.
My mother used to tell me true beauty starts from the inside and works its way outward. I never really bought into that until later, when I looked at my mother in her 80’s and she was so beautiful.
So here I sit, pondering my future, wondering, always wondering, however, that is just me. I have read too many romance novels to know that it is only the young and beautiful that have excitement in their lives. I am past excitement, romance, the thrill of youth.
I never really had any of that in my youth, I married at 19 and started having children. My children have always been the loves of my life, I don’t regret having them when I did, I’ll always be grateful that I got to have the ones I did.
My biggest regret in life is not finishing my journalism degree, which I truly regret. I love words; nothing takes the place of the written word. Even on the Internet I truly do not enjoy videos, I like reading the news story better than watching an interview. Although some articles written on the Yahoo news site is incomprehensible, how do they hire these people? Some aren’t even written at a 5th grade level, horrible writing, biased leanings, just give me the news! Tell me what happened, do not interject your opinion, I miss true news reporting. Someone dig up Walter Cronkite, if you don’t know who that is, please look him up, he was awesome. At one point he was the most trusted man in America, no one trusts news reporters now. They interject their own agendas into the reporting, it is a travesty.
I know I got sidetracked, so back to me, in my dotage I vow to be more like my mother, seeing the good in people. Living life as it comes to me, not wishing for something I never had and will never have.
Even though now, when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize the woman staring back at me, I saw a gray hair yesterday. Must purchase new hair color.
Life Changing Decisions
Yesterday I received a save the date card for a wedding, the groom is someone I have known since he was 3 years old. I just sat and stared at it for a long time, how could he have grown up so fast? How did he become old enough to get married? He was an adorable child and has grown into an incredible young man. He is a credit to his parents, hard-working, intelligent, well-mannered and ambitious. I hope his bride to be and her kin appreciate the kind of person that is marrying into their family.
Still the whole thing has brought home how fast time is going by, my own children are adults, making adult decisions. Mostly without my input, and doing a fantastic job of it I might add. I know I have said it before, and I will say it a million times after, I am amazed by them, proud of them and wish I could take full credit for them. However I cannot, they are their own beings, full of life.
With time passing it makes one reflective of their own life, I am no different, I often wonder if I have done anything that has made a difference in anyones life. If I have influenced anyone to do the right thing or make a decision that they would not have made otherwise. I have had the privilege of having had wonderful influences in my life, my grandparents, my mom and dad, my great-aunt Effie, my friends and yes even my children. If you have had someone influence your decision-making for the better I would love to hear your story. Also if someone has made a difference in your life, I would also love to hear that story.
Most of the time I believe we, as humans, are not aware of the influences around us, that we make these life changing decisions without pondering the aftermath of said decision. We blithely go through life never fully realizing how our actions affect others, I wonder how different would things be if we all took the time to really ponder our choices. Make more informed decisions, think before we act, ponder before speaking. What world we would live in then.
I urge you all to take a day, consciously make the choice to really think about things before deciding, well anything. I hope you will all let me know the outcome of our experiment.
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas everyone, I truly hope that this Christmas is filled with peace and love for everyone. Christmas Eve is the day that my children and I gather for our family Christmas, well, gathering. We eat, we laugh and we exchange presents. We have been doing this on Christmas Eve for a long time, it started a few years after the divorce, that way they could enjoy the presents they got at our house before going to their home with their dad on Christmas day. We didn’t have to rush Christmas morning, or Christmas dinner, we had it all the day before. It worked well for us as a whole, and I believe it continues to do so, much less pressure on the kids if they don’t feel they have to choose a parent on a holiday.
Alex was missing from last nights festivities, and I missed him an enormous amount, but he was doing something that is important to him, I cannot fault him for that.
I believe everyone had a good time yesterday, I know my children well enough to know if they did not they would let me know in a heartbeat. I hope everyone liked their presents, I know I did, I have the most thoughtful children on the face of the planet.
Elizabeth Anne gave me Wonder Woman socks! And Godiva coffee and new slipper boots and a new coat and Starbucks coffee and sour skittles and one of my favorite movies. Jeffrey gave me a gift card to Macy’s, after Christmas sale here I come! Tessa was so funny last night, she and Elizabeth together are a comedy duo! I was laughing so hard watching those two, it was hysterical, I wish I had captured it on video. At one point Tess tells Elizabeth, your mommy is crazy. She was talking about me. I was like What!, I said who is her mom? she said you. Tess is 4 by the way. That is her new thing, everyone is crazy, I have no idea where she got it, but it is funny as all get out. We colored in her new coloring book, played with her new My Little Ponies and her new Barbie RV. She is a funny little girl who is bright, articulate and intelligent, of course she belongs to us!
I hope everyone has a great Christmas, not only for the presents, but to take time to reflect on why we have Christmas. God’s son was born this day, a son that would grow up to give His life for our sins. It is hard to be as unselfish as that, however, I shall strive to be a little more understanding of the people in my life.
Angie World 