Issues

I have a problem, an issue if you will; it is one I have been dealing with for some time now. I find I can no longer deal with this on my own; so I am asking for help, please allow me to explain.

There is a person where I work that I simply do not like, that’s not the right wording, I have no respect for this person. Their knowledge base, when I have no respect it manifests in distinctly unpleasant ways. Eye rolling when they speak, physically cringing when I see anything from them, and disdain, ignoring their very existence.

I want to be clear here, I don’t like myself this way, in fact I look down upon myself and shake my head at, well, me. I have prayed and prayed for a change of heart with this person, this is all on me. I don’t pray to change the person I have no respect for; I pray that God changes me.

I don’t know if I am not being sincere in my prayers, ok, let’s face it, I’m not, I have a hard time with this. I am snarky around this person, I don’t like it, and I am horrified with myself.

So that is where you all come in, I am asking that you pray that God changes me, once again, this is all on me. I am not praying God changes the other person, I am praying that God changes my heart towards this person.

Everyone knows I do not care for said person, because I cannot hide my face, and my face speaks volumes. God did not give me a poker face; He gave me an expressive one.

This person does not work Mondays, so by Tuesday of this week I want to have a changed attitude toward this person. I am praying for it, I am asking you all to pray for me.

We can only change us, it is not up to us to change others, we can only control our reactions and our hearts, ourselves. In dealing with someone we don’t care for that shows the true character of our souls, and I genuinely do not like mine when it comes to dealing with this person. I want to change the character of my soul in regards to my reactions.

If there is someone in your life that you are not reacting the way you would like, or in a way that speaks to the person you want to be, I would love to know how you are dealing with it. Please feel free to leave a comment.

I will let you all know how it goes this coming week. Be Blessed and have a great day!

Love

Well, Friday is upon us, we call all rejoice once again. I am doing better, I still miss Nocona more than I have words to express. Part of me feels extreme guilt that she died alone, I wish I had been with her, telling her how much she meant to all of us these past 10 years and 3 months. I hope she knew how much we all loved her.
Ok, I am just going to say the thing we are not supposed to say. I really love me. Not the way I look, I think that is well established. I love my mind, my personality, my brain if you will. I love the way I process thoughts, I believe it is unique, I also believe I have passed this thought process on to Elizabeth Anne.
I love the fact I am eclectic in my television viewing and my reading choices, oh and musical selections. I love how I can meet someone and tell you within 5 minutes if they are trustworthy or not. I love that I can spend all day watching the history channel or scyfy channel or discovery or anything that most women don’t watch. I said most, not all, I love that I love words. My grandfather really instilled that within me by teaching me to read when I was 4, he got tired of me asking him to read to me all day long.
So there you have it, I love me. Everyone should love themselves, unless they are racist, then they should not love their personalities, they should change the way they think.
Ok, I’m done, see you all later.