Tag: mom

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Happy Birthday Odela Mae

Today is a great day in my family, it is my mom’s birthday, July 30, 1913, what a great day. She would live through so many things, she would go through hard times, good times and amazing times.

She would grow up and marry a boy she had been in love with since she was five years old. She would be parted from said boy for 10 years while he was in heaven waiting for her.

She didn’t have to be my mom she chose to, on this day I would like to share with you one of the important lessons she taught me.

When the love of her life left this earthy plane for heaven she grieved horribly. She missed him, she missed his laughter, she missed his very presence.

I lived here in Texas, while she lived in Owasso, I would call her once a week and we wrote letters. When I would call her our conversations would naturally turn to dad. We would share remembrances, funny stories and yes some when he was stubborn. Those made us laugh the most, at the end of one of our phone calls she told me something that made me incredibly sad.

She very quietly said “you’re the only one that talks about him with me”. I said what do you mean, she went on to say everyone thought it would make her sad to talk about him, the love of her life.

But she wanted to talk about him, she wanted to laugh at stories, she wanted to tell people about him, the incredible man God gave her to be her very own. He was her prince, her knight, her movie star crush all rolled into one. And he chose her to marry, she never quite got over that fact, she never saw herself as the actual catch. My dad got to spend his life with a woman that was beautiful inside and out, God gave him a woman that would work beside him building a life.

What we can take from this, during this time when people are losing loved ones, is to allow them the freedom to talk about the people that are no longer here. Listen to their stories, laugh at the funny ones with them, that is what they need, they want, they crave. They want to know that the people that mattered the most to them are remembered.

She also told me a few weeks after my dad passed she dreamed about him. She was convinced it was more than a dream, you see the last months of my dads life wasn’t pleasant, he wasn’t really there. It was hard, it was brutal and she didn’t feel like she got to say goodbye in a meaningful way.

That night, my dad came to her, he held her and they laughed together, then he said he had to leave. She told him she didn’t want him to go, he told her he would be waiting when it was her turn.

Then the one thing happened that told her this was her gift from God, dad hugged her, and gave her the extra squeeze at the end.

She told me she had never told anyone about that extra squeeze, no one knew but her, dad and God.

She believed to the end of her days that God allowed him to come and say goodbye to her and tell her he would be waiting for her to join him in heaven.

So as a birthday present to my mom, I pass these things on to you.

Happy Birthday Mom, I love you so much, thank you for the life that you

allowed me to have.

 

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Missing

The beginning of August is always a little bumpy for me, Michael’s birthday is today August 9, my mom passed on August 11, and now August 3 will be a little rough as that is the day my brother Jesse passed.
As most of you know I am adopted, everyone should really know that by now as it is, for better or worse, part of my identity.
Jesse was the youngest of my siblings, he was 20 years older than I. Even at that, he was a really great big brother in my teenage years. Jesse always had a mischievous glint in his eyes, even as an adult, you could tell there was something there, just under the surface, waiting to come out. A funny joke, a stinging comeback (for which we are all famous for) or comforting words.
He was equal parts funny, sarcastic, caring and a good son to my parents.
There is one time in particular that always comes to mind:
One day I was sitting in the den watching television and Jesse walked in. He didn’t say a word he just sat down next to me. He sighed heavily instigating the tell me what’s wrong conversation.
He looked at me and said you know Angie I told my kids that they shouldn’t even try to think of anything ornery to do because I’ve done it all. There is nothing you can think of that I have not done.
He was right about that, he was a really ornery child according to my parents. The original Dennis the Menace, please note, in my family orneriness is a gift.
I looked at him and said you’re stupid, you didn’t give your kids a warning, you issued a challenge.
He looked at me and said I realize that now. He went on to say those kids of mine thought of things I would never have thought to do.
I laughed for a solid five minutes because I knew that was true.
All three of his children were true Testerman’s, funny, smart and mischievous in nature. All of those traits are considered positive in my family.
This world will miss his humor, the glint in his eyes, the smile that made you wonder what he was up to and when the other shoe would drop.
I am completely grateful my daughter, Elizabeth Anne, traveled to Owasso with me to say goodbye. There are many things I will never talk about here, just know, that girl is my rock star, my hero, my protector when needed.
As usual, any complaints, comments or just to tell me how awesome I am can be left here or sent to angie@angieworld.com

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Friday Musings

So today on the Kidd Kraddick Show, Kellie Raspberry said how long can one continue to use the excuse “I’m still carrying the baby weight”. Well, my “baby” is 21 years old and I am still using that excuse for my lack of, well, weight loss.
So far it has been an uneventful week. I spent Tuesday evening with Elizabeth Anne, shopping for shoes for her, she said the one thing I thought I would never hear from her, “those heels aren’t high enough”. Music to my ears. Wednesday was spent organizing my Mary Kay inventory and cleaning the office area and organizing the bedroom. I plan on tackling the dinning, living and kitchen areas this weekend. Spring cleaning in full force and it makes me not happy as I hate it. I really want a maid, the minute I feel I make enough money for one, she is there! Or he, I will not discriminate; men can clean just like women. Oh a man maid, I think I like it.
I do believe this world is becoming increasingly vulgar, I hear it more and more in casual conversation, in stores, in the park, everywhere. Surprisingly, to me, the biggest offenders are women, I don’t know why that surprises me, but it does. I remember when I was about 15, I was watching television with my mom and they said the H word. I say it like that because that is what I remember thinking, oh, wow I can’t believe the said the H word in front of my mom. I was so embarrassed; I just sat there thinking maybe she didn’t notice. She did, and I will never forget what she said. She sighed and shook her head and said you know it is a real shame. I said what is? She said with all the words available in the world, the one they chose to use was a vulgar one. It’s so sad that they have such a limited vocabulary. Well that struck a chord with me, even at that age I took such pride in my vocabulary. I had read the dictionary, I scored exceptionally well on tests and played word games. I decided right then and there that before relying on vulgar words I would exhaust my knowledge of other descriptive words.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am no angel, and I do let loose, however I have to be extremely angry for it to come flying out of my mouth. I would urge everyone to look at their words, listen to themselves, then try and find an alternative. If you can’t, so be it, however remember there are so many words available just waiting to be used. I suggest the dictionary as reading material, and Shakespeare, and the Bible, all have wonderful words in them.
Happy Friday, I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, enjoy the cold, wet weather.

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Early Present

So, I had something strange happen yesterday, when I collected the mail I had a surprise delivery. The magazine Guideposts was sitting in my mailbox, why is this strange you ask. Well, I didn’t order a subscription to Guideposts, I know you are still wondering the significance of this happening, I’ll explain.
When my mom was alive she would give me a subscription to Guideposts for Christmas every year. I loved it; I loved all of the uplifting stories, real stories of real people experiencing miracles, small and large. Stories of God’s constant presence, stories that would make me laugh, cry and just feel good. Since my mom passed away I have not received the magazine.
My birthday is Sunday, I feel like I have been given a gift from my mom. I don’t know how this ended up in my mailbox, I am going to go with divine intervention, it has my name on it, my correct address, not a place I lived when my mom was alive, so I know it was not something lingering in their system. I am going to consider it an early Birthday present; perhaps God is sending it in place of my snow.
A strange, wonderful present, I am not going to analyze it, which is my habit, I am just going to enjoy my present from my mom.

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Headstone

A life well lived, that is what I want on my headstone, I think I have finally decided.
I would like a purple coffin, tons of music, food, fun and laughter. Yes, laughter, I want people to be happy that I went home and to celebrate a life well lived.
They say home is in your heart, I have Jesus in my heart, does that mean I am in heaven on earth?
There are days my mind wanders to what heaven will be like. I imagine it with the streets of gold, which morph into visions of the Elysian fields. Maybe I read too much, nah, no such thing as reading too much. However, I could have watched too many episodes of Hercules and Xena.
The bible tells us that everything we love is in heaven. If that is the case I believe I will see Chewie again, and Arthur and my cat, and definitely Gypsy and Whiskers. I am going to need a big backyard with my mansion.
I believe I will be greeted by my son, mom, dad, grandpa, grandma and Great Aunt Effie. Then I will go visiting, I will see my birth mother, my aunts, uncles and cousins that have gone before me. What a celebration we will have.
When I leave this earth, and no matter how much I think of myself as being immortal, I know it will happen, I want everyone to know I have had a really good time during my tenure here. That my life was worthwhile, that I contributed while I was here. That I did a good job with my children, I had the privilege of raising. I am always amazed God gave me the ones he did.
I want everyone to know how they have influenced my and my thought process. My deep love of Oklahoma, how proud I am to be an “Okie”. To have the influence of Owasso in my life, the stability and acceptance I found there, and my best friend for life.
I would like everyone to know I had morals, that was instilled in me from a young age by my grandparents and later my mom and dad.
How much all of my Sunday School teachers meant to me, how much I respect them. Having been a Sunday School teacher myself I know how much work goes into preparing the lessons. Thank you for sacrificing to teach the classes I was in.
I would like very much to know that my life has meant something, that I was an influence to others as they influenced me. As I am about to travel to Oklahoma to celebrate the life of a woman who influenced many, I think about what will be said about me when I go home.
I wonder if others are ever as preoccupied with these thoughts as I am or if it is a trait unique to my family.

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Memories

Well, it is Monday, I don’t know what to think, I am loving the weather, I did not like being out last week with eye issues. Yesterday was my parents wedding anniversary and my aunt passed away, bitter sweet day. My heart goes out to my cousins in the loss of their mother; I know what it is to lose that one person who is always in your corner no matter what. Even when you expect it, even when you know they will no longer be in pain, it’s hard. It is hard to accept, it is hard to find peace, it is hard to reconcile that your mom is gone. My thoughts are with them, my heart breaks for them, and yet I can see my grandmother and grandfather greeting her with open arms.
I have to tell you all, my grandmother was only fond of two of her daughter-in-laws that was my Aunt Laura Fay and my Aunt Dorothy, and they were the only ones she had really good words for. The rest, she didn’t say anything about, except for my Uncle Laverne’s wife, she was bitter towards her, but Aunt Dorothy and Aunt Laura Fay she loved. So I can totally imagine the greeting that Aunt Dorothy is getting right now. My Great Aunt Effie loved everyone, she was a lot like my mom, and I never heard her say one bad word about anyone. EVER. She was truly amazing; I know she was there as well to give a huge hug and a huge welcome home.
I know I write a lot about my parents, and with yesterday having been their anniversary I feel the need to tell a story. I have to be honest; I don’t remember which ones I have told before, so if this one is a repeat, please forgive me.
I never saw my parents argue, like ever, the only time I saw my mom slightly perturbed with my dad was during the period where he was teaching me to drive. I can only imagine the conversations they had in private about this; I never witnessed any of them. Well this one time, my dad was under the hood of the car and told me to give it some gas, which I did. He then says put the car in neutral and give it some gas, I said I don’t want to do that dad. He said it’ll be fine, so I put the car in what I think is neutral and give it some gas. Imagine my surprise when the car went flying backwards, knocking the fence down and leaving my dad standing there with a wrench in his hand with a surprised look on his face. Mom comes flying out of the house and points at dad and says these simple words “drivers Ed”. Turns and walks back into the house. I look at my dad, he looks at me, and says, well, hmmm I guess that settles that, now let’s fix that fence.
I really miss them, their humor, their wisdom, their influence; I know my cousins will miss their mom like I miss mine. She was kind, gentle and always put others before herself, it was no wonder my grandmother thought so highly of her.

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Someone is Watching

How does one let go of anger? That is the question of the day, I find myself so angry lately, it is not healthy. I have to learn to let certain things go, and I am having issues doing so.
When people think they are never going to be caught they do things that if they thought they would be held accountable they would never think of doing. I firmly believe that when I die, not only is God going to hold me accountable but I will also have to answer to my mom and dad and grandparents. I am more worried about what my mom will say to me than God. I have to be honest about that. It keeps me from doing a lot of things I should not do, but want to do. Some people should be grateful for that.
For the people who have nothing to keep them in check, no belief system, well they are the ones that do the horrible things. They have no remorse, no guilt, no conscience, they have no morals.
I am not talking about people who do things then are repentant, they have spoken to God, answered for whatever it is, and are moving on. Those are not the ones this is about, this is about the people who contentiously do the wrong thing. The hurtful thing, the thing they think they wont get caught doing. Someone is watching, no, not big brother, but someone. I believe in a higher power, I do believe that eventually what you do catches up with you and you do pay a hefty price for your actions. Which is why I try not to purposefully do anything that is going to get me the mom look when I do see my mother again. I also do not want my dad shaking his head at me, that was always so harsh. For me. As for my grandpa and grandma and great-aunt Effie, I do not want the first words they say to me to be “What were you thinking? We raised you better than that.” If you are doing something that you know to be the wrong thing, and you think no one is watching, think again. Someone will always find out. It is better to stop, drop and roll. I use that because you are playing with fire and are about to get burned. Not by me, I don’t have the energy for that, my energy is being directed toward something more positive these days. Oh look, my anger is gone, wow, this is cathartic. Happy Monday everyone!