Fish out of Water

I was watching Suburgatory last night, I love this show, not just because the dad, George, is amazingly cute, but because of the fish out of water premis. I think I like it because most of my life I have been a fish out of water. For the first 12 years of my life I was raised in Oklahoma City, I am a true city girl, I walked everywhere. My friends and I would walk to the movies on Saturday, we walked to the Tastee Freeze and the store. Then I moved to Owasso, talk about a fish out of water, a city girl in the country. It was crazy, there were no movie theaters to walk to, no stores, nothing to walk to except a pond, creek and woods. Oh and my BFF Tammi’s house, thank you Jesus that was within walking distance!
She was a fish out of water as well, just moved from Tulsa, I will never forget the first day of school, it was Eighth grade, we went all day, class after class, something was amiss. Finally at the end of the day, we are waiting for the bus, and I turned to Tammi and whispered what did they do with all of the black people? In Owasso, there was only on black kid in our whole school, and Anthony was so popular there was no way he was noticing me. She said I don’t know, this is crazy, see we had both come from inner city schools where it was very much more blended. Even though there was very little diversity in Owasso, I have to say I witnessed no racism in our school, very proud to be from Owasso to this day, I claim it as my home town.
Next it was a move to Atlanta with my then husband, the only place I have ever lived where I felt instantly bonded. I felt accepted, and welcomed, it was the most amazing experience. I met people that their great grandparents had known my great great grandmother. My then husband did not fare so well and hated it, so move again we did. This time to Texas, first it was Las Colinas, then Plano. Plano, a place I really felt out of the loop in, at that time I think all of the women in Plano were stay at home moms and I still worked. We had decided I would work until we had a second child, we used my paycheck to pay off everything. Anyway, the garages were in the back, so you came home and left and never met anyone. One day, I parked in front after getting Jeffrey and my neighbor across the street happened to be out and came over. Vicki was so sweet and invited my little boy over to play with her little girl, Ashley, they became fast friends. In the meantime I was having a hard time finding a church, see I was FreeWill Baptist and those did not exist in North Texas at the time. So I called my dad, because he always had the answers, and asked what to do. He said to find a good Southern Baptist Church and I would be fine. Lo and behold, my new neighbor Vicki invited me to her church and it was Southern Baptist. So I took Jeffrey and went, I have to be honest, I never fit in, I was married but my husband didn’t go to church, and apparently you are looked down on for that in the Southern Baptist community. Or at least at that time you were, I felt the stares, I was very pregnant with a small child in tow and no wedding ring (fingers were swollen) I had to convince them I was indeed not an incarnation of the whore of Babylon. They let me in, Jeffrey loved it, I stayed. I then became a stay at home mom and Vicki convinced me to put Jeffrey in Mothers Day Out at the church. That is where I really found my group, Jeffrey’s teacher Jan was the best, she was pregnant as well and could tell I wasn’t comfortable with the whole leave my child to do nothing situation. I will never forget how Jan made me feel. like I was not the worst mom in the world and that it was ok to leave Jeffrey one day a week. She continued to make me feel welcome and to this day is one of my best friends. Jan is simply the best, I met other women that made me feel welcome as well.
I will say the childrens minister at that time did not, she was never warm or welcoming to me, however she was to the children, so I can overlook the heavy handed, unkind things she said to me during my divorce.
I will tell you what finally helped me to feel Plano was my home and that was meeting Linda, she was as loud and opinionated and out going as I was. It was like meeting me, and it was a revelation, I could be me in any situation and not care if anyone liked me. I tend to keep people who are amazing and yes, I have kept Linda. We were parted for a while, but once she found me again (thank you Facebook) it was as if no time had passed. We picked up where we left off, total greatness, she still is.
I have decided that a fish out of water is a good thing, those of us who find that we are one, we don’t flop around, we grow lungs and adapt to our new surroundings. We then grow legs and explore our new environments, we grow and learn and assimilate others to our way of thinking. A fish on land is a good thing, welcome to my world.

Welcome Christmas!

No Black Friday shopping for me, work it is, and work I will gladly do! I have my giant container of iced coffee I brought from home, my Greek yogurt and my seaweed; I am ready to conquer the world of tech support, one call at a time!
I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving, celebrating in whatever way you chose, whether it was with family or in solitude. I have to be honest, I prefer solitude, since my children spend every Thanksgiving with their dad’s side of the family, I seriously have no desire to celebrate. I know you must be wondering why they spend every Thanksgiving with him, well, let me tell you. It was an agreement we made a long time ago. His whole family gets together at Thanksgiving and celebrates that day and Christmas and even some birthdays. I didn’t want my children to miss out on that experience. So, he got Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve was and remains mine. An arrangement we still honor today even though the children are now adults.
Sometimes I miss Thanksgiving, but it is more of a missing my mom and dad and the Thanksgivings I had with them and my family. The fun that was had just two miles north of Owasso was total greatness, and I cherish all of my memories.
Work again today, then it seems like I had something to do this weekend, oh yeah, massive cleaning and getting the place ready to drag out all of my Christmas decorations. I can’t wait to buy the tree, make cookies, see if I can find sugar free hot cocoa, maybe splurge in the real thing, haven’t decided yet. I love Christmas! Happy start to the most wonderful season on earth!

Favorite Memory

Yesterday was a memory lane day for me, for some reason my dad was heavily on my mind. I was thinking back to my first apartment, in Owasso, in the bad part of Owasso. Yes there is a bad part; it is about half a block long and very scary. You will have to take my word for this. For those of you that live in Owasso, or have been there, it was the apartment building that is across from what is now Fishbonz. It looks exactly the same.
My rent was $300.00 a month, a huge amount back then, it was one whole paycheck, I got paid every other week. The next paycheck was electricity and food, there was no talk of cable or a telephone, water was included. I remember my dad would come every Saturday morning and bring me groceries, mostly fresh fruit and vegetables he and my mom had grown in their garden. Then he would carry the vacuum up the stairs and say well I carried it I might as well use it. He would vacuum my apartment. I don’t think he trusted me with the vacuum cleaner. Then he would make me pancakes and we would have breakfast together. The very first time he came over, he was looking around my kitchen for a mixing bowl and of course I didn’t have one. He muttered something to himself, left, a few minutes later came back with a metal mixing bowl.
I still have that bowl; it is my favorite mixing bowl of all time. I can only hope that I have given my children some fond memory that when I am gone they can pull it up and feel comforted by the fact that I loved them beyond anything or anyone.
So what is your favorite memory of your mom or dad, or both? I would love to hear!

Dance your blues away

I have been slapped back to reality, just when you think you have heard everything, something else comes up to knock you off of your equilibrium. What is one to do? Decisions to make, stalking to be done, I need a list. Anyone else having a kinda crappy week?
Yesterday started off well enough, it was my oldest son’s birthday, Jeffrey, he is a whopping 26. Jeffrey is a son any mother would be proud to have, he is funny, handsome, intelligent, kind and caring with a dash of sarcasm. I am amazingly happy for the way he turned out. Happy Birthday Son, I love you and wouldn’t change anything about you.
I have decided that I need to begin exercising, as we all know I hate exercising, but begin I will. Today. This evening. I will report back tomorrow on how I fared.
As everyone knows by now, I ran away from home to home, I am still feeling the effects of that trip. I believe I have a glow about me from it. It was amazingly refreshing, I highly suggested everyone run away to Owasso, Oklahoma for a weekend of relaxation, dancing and pure old-fashioned fun. Of course it helps to have my friends as well. I realize not all of you can know Chris, Tammi or Linda, so your trip might not be as fun, but you can try it.