Nine Words Women Use

I stole this from an email I received from my friend Wanda, however, I loved it, so here it is. Men learn a lesson here, women, recognize yourself….

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’.. That will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever : Is a woman’s way of saying…Go to Hell…

(9) Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it : Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

Money Tree Adventure

Ok, so, here is the story of how the money tree came into existence. I was entrusted with this task by Wanda, of course I had volunteered for it in what I can only describe as caffeine induced moment of madness.
Well, the day came to actually create this work of art, so, I go outside in my pajamas and fuzzy robe, and to complete the outfit, my fuzzy slipper boots. I take my ginzu knife, because isn’t that what all money tree makers use? So I go outside and begin hacking away at a bush in front of my apartment, like a woman on a mission, I am. Then a really cute guy walks by, with his very cute dog, and says “hey”, to which I look up and say “hey” back and keep hacking away. I am committed at this point, or should be committed, one of the two.
I finally get my branch, take it to the backyard and spray paint it silver, which makes me a little light headed, I have to admit, I understand now what all the fuss is about. So, all hyped up on caffeine, mega doses of vitamin B and now spray paint fumes, I go back in to fold money.
It is a tedious job, so I fold it while sitting in my bed watching television, when I am done I look down and realize I am surrounded by money! I have made it rain! WoooHooo! I should have taken a picture of me surrounded by all that cash. But, alas, I did not. I tie all the bills on the tree and assemble the complete project together.
I have to admit, it was fun, and it was for a terrific person, I would do it again in a heartbeat, so now you all know the adventure I had making the money tree.

Sad Day, No Snow

Yesterday was a trip to the British Emporium in Grapevine, they have the most fascinating things.So, over $100.00 later, we had comfort food for the Irishman, a little taste of home. Then it was Abuelo’s for me, I love Mexican food! Then home, the Irishman is sick, headache, body aches, throat hurts, am hoping I don’t get it. I hate being sick, I rarely get sick, so I shouldn’t get it. I take mega doses of vitamin B and C, so I should be safe.
We got a smattering of snow last night, none stuck, now it is raining, but it is above freezing. I cannot catch a break weather wise, I am hoping this is not an indicator of how my birthday year will go.
Well after a great weekend, it is back to work for me, I am working Monday through Wednesday, then off Thursday and Friday. Jeffrey is having surgery on his back and I am going to take him then take care of him while he recovers. I hope everyone has a great day and for those of you in Oklahoma who are getting snow, I am jealous.

My Saturday

Yesterday was an incredibly full and wonderful day, filled with emotion and old-fashioned fun. It started with the party to celebrate Almetta’s 80th birthday, she is Sandi’s mom for those of you who are new to reading me. Wanda was the ring leader in this endeavor, and let me tell you, it came off beautifully. If any of my readers are in Plano, TX please make a point to go to One 2 One, located in the Shops at Legacy. Just a beautiful space, excellent food and just a terrific staff. We had a private room, the staff just took care of us, making sure everything was filled, the food was plentiful and we were all comfortable. Several people spoke, there is one in particular that stuck with me. It was Louise, who is just a beautiful woman, very regal, elegant and, well for lack of a better word, classy. She said that in her country it takes a village to raise a child, and in there, exists a Queen Mother, and Al is our Queen Mother. She really is, Sandi graciously shared her mother with all of us.
The money tree was a huge hit, I am so happy it turned out the way it did. Something about the silver paint on the tree actually camouflaged the money. So when you look at it, the money wasn’t really visible at first. The look on Al’s face at first was like oh thank you, then when she noticed the money, it was “OH THANK YOU!” It was too cute, and so funny.
I also got to see Jason and Daniel, Sandi’s sons, I have not seen them in for a while. So good seeing them, they are incredible young men and Sandi would be proud of the way they are living their lives.
Next up was time with Elizabeth Anne, she came down from Bonham to celebrate my birthday with me. First up, Starbucks for a coffee treat, then shopping, then dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Now, I realize this is our usual time together. What made this so spectacular is that Elizabeth was the one paying! What a switch, she said the bank is probably going to call her and say, Um, these are charges we usually see on your moms card, what’s going on. She bought me the cutest sweater and my first pair of expensive jeans. I cannot wait to wear them! Thank you Elizabeth for a great birthday outing!

The Day After

Well yesterday was my birthday and for the first time in a long time I did not get snow, I don’t know what God is trying to tell me. Maybe I need to listen better, or perhaps it is one of the Wookie’s practical jokes. Hmmm, something to think about.
I got my presents from the Irishman, we ran errands that I had to do, then we went to see a movie that I really wanted to see. The Journey 2, I love anything Jules Vern, I mean honestly who doesn’t, of course doesn’t hurt that The Rock was in it as well. I don’t know what it is about that man, but I love him. I love the fact he does these movies that are family oriented. He is just fantastic in this, and I loved it, and highly recommend the movie.
We were going to go to dinner, but once I got home, well, you all know what happens, I put my pajamas on and watched Grimm and Merlin, I know, I’m kinda lame. Butt he will take me to eat on Sunday, so it’s all good, and it was my choice to stay home and watch my favorite shows.
Today is filled with the party for Al, then Elizabeth is coming to continue my birthday celebration and did I mention it is freezing cold here with a hint of snow in the air? Maybe Chewie forgot the actual date of my birth….. Maybe he thought it was the 11th and not the 10th, it could happen. My ex-husband always swore my birthday was actually February 11th and not the 10th, as a matter of fact he forgot it so often that he really started to believe it was the 11th. So maybe Chewie is disoriented up there, he is happily chasing rabbits and getting ear scratches that he was totally distracted. Yes, that is what I choose to believe.
I have a fabulous outfit to wear today, I can hardly wait, perhaps I will post a picture here later. We shall see, I want you all to see my fabulousness, I understand there are people that read this that have never seen me, well, isn’t it time you saw how absolutely gorgeous I am.
Have to go have my coffee and finish the money tree and the card box for the party, hope you all have a terrific Saturday, I know I am going to.

Caffeine and Paint Fumes

Ok, so, you all know I am in charge of the money tree for the big birthday bash on Saturday. As you all know, I have never made one before, so, I had a vision in my head of what it should look like. Let me tell you, I am absolutely brilliant! It is turning out so well! I am going to try to post a picture when it is all complete, but so far it looks exactly like it did in my head. Of course this could be a combination of caffeine and the spray paint fumes talking, but I think it looks fantastic.
I took today off so I could have a little alone time, as I don’t have that hardly at all anymore, I thought as I got older I would get to be alone. It is not working out that way, I am not complaining, I am just the type of personality that needs to be alone once in a while. So, today it is it.
Well, I have to go finish the money tree, get dressed and do the things I wanted to do today, I have a lot to accomplish and a short amount of time to do it. I need to go through my shoes and get rid of some. I have way too many, don’t faint, yes, I said it. I have one that totally have to go, they are way too young for me and way too tall, I feel like Herman Munster walking in them, or Gene Simmons, one of the two. I also need to go through my clothes and get rid of the ones that don’t fit and will never fit again as I refuse to gain weight and in fact need to lose about 40 more pounds.
OMG! I found this thing on Groupon, that I am totally getting for myself for my birthday. You go and have a total body work up and you get four injections of a combination of vitamins over four weeks. It is supposed to kick start your metabolism, I am so doing it, I am going to do the full work up one, not just the vitamin option. Maybe I will lose all 40 pounds in 4 weeks! Wish me luck!

Happy Almost Birthday to Me!

I wonder what would happen if I spewed every thought I had onto Facebook? Would I have any friends left? Would they call the psych ward and have them come get me? One can only wonder because it will never happen, well, I say never, however, if I get some sort of memory disease, watch out.
So in two days it is my day, my birthday, can I tell you a secret? No, it is not my age, honestly at this point I have lied about it so much I don’t even remember what it is. I love getting presents, I don’t even care what they are, I just like unwrapping them and squealing over whatever it is. Although, I am not fond of receiving stuffed animals at this stage in my life, but anything else, I love it! I am easily pleased, just shower me with attention and gewgaws (as my grandmother would say) and I am one happy camper.
I would really like cake on my birthday, I have often said the best days are the days with cake in them. I don’t think I am getting cake as I am not willing to make it for myself.
I have the day off tomorrow, I have thoughts on what I am going to do, I will let you know afterwards if I have actually done what I plan on doing. Sounds cryptic, oh I am mysterious, I have always wanted to be mysterious. Saying whatever pops into my head defeats that goal most of the time.
Well I hope everyone has a great day today!

Coffee Grounds

Coffee fueled confession: Ok, so, I have a new coffee maker, one that grinds the beans then makes the coffee. Well, I do believe my mind is going, going, gone, due to the fact I cannot remember to clean the grounds out of the coffeemaker before making the next batch of coffee. It creates a huge mess and is slightly embarrassing, ok, more than slightly, especially when the Irishman is the one to discover the snafu. This morning it was me that made the discovery and had to clean up the mess. Due to the fact I wanted a second pot of coffee, yes, I said second pot. Don’t judge. So anyway, it is a huge mess, takes forever to clean those grounds up, one would think that would be my lesson, that I would stop after that. Apparently not, no lesson learned, I am sure it will happen again, until I go into the home.