Well hello old friend, I have missed you, I am sorry I have not been inspired to visit you, however I am here today and have some things to tell you.
When I am not in a good place emotionally I gain weight, that is the way I have always been. My entire life, this is the way of my metabolism, so for the last year I have been packing on the pounds, enough is enough. I refuse to live in a body that is not what it should be. Even at the age of 50 I should be prettier than I am right now, I am taking things back into my control.
I have been watching my friend Gladys and my friend Vicki becoming disgustingly healthy for a while now. A long while. Gladys is local, and goes on and on about the place she is going to. I decided to follow suit, she pointed out there was a Groupon to her place and suggested I purchase it. Then she took it a step further and told the owners about me and one of them began talking to me on one of Gladys’s posts. Long story short, I purchased and have an appointment Monday to go see them and get my physical life under control.
Once the physical is under control, the mental follows very closely behind, it is a sad statement that my inner shows on the outer. Physically, not emotional wise, if you spoke to me you would never know the turmoil that goes on in my brain.
After my mom died I went on a binge and it was horrible, it took Elizabeth Anne saying mom, you are grieve eating to make me sit up and take notice.
Notice I did, shedding more than 100 pounds; I so do not want to go back to that Angie and will fight not to.
I have always been a chunky thing, starting at birth, I weighed over 9 pounds then, large for then, large for now. And just kept going, I don’t know why God chose me to give this affliction to, I just know it is something He wants me to conquer, it is my cross to carry. My row to hoe, my albatross, and any other metaphor I can come up with.
I gain weight easily, one slip up leads to another and another and another, I am not a person who can ever say oh I forgot to eat today. My goal is to be skinny, I do not care how that sounds and I do not want any criticism for it. I grew up in an era of skinny women. Twiggy, Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson, they were all the stars of the day and they were skinny, I so wanted to be one of them. But I was a chunky teenager, living on celery to maintain a normal weight. Oh and let’s not forget my BFF, Tammi, she was and still remains thin, I have always been envious of her non-weight issues.
So, here we go again, back to my horrible cycle of losing weight, it has and always will be my Achilles heel. Please, no arrows at it, it is vulnerable.
Besides Dean Cain will NEVER notice me if I am not skinny…. Must be skinny will be my mantra… See you on the other side.
Tired
Another jam-packed weekend is done; I am exhausted, trying to think of when I will have time to sleep. Not anytime soon. Next weekend is the family reunion, so excited about that! I can’t wait to see everyone, I will only be able to go up for one day, not the weekend, but it is one day I will get to see everyone.
This weekend started with me getting Tess after work on Friday, she got to spend the night! Saturday morning was up early, we had a girls breakfast at IHop and then shopping for the day’s festivities.
Everyone came over; by everyone I mean Jeffrey, Elizabeth Anne, Alex, Tessa, the Irishman’s three children and his ex-father-in-law. A packed house, seeing that it is summer it was time for hotdogs on the grill and pool time afterward.
I am still exhausted, I awoke today to rain, thunder and lightening, I so want to go back to sleep! Alas, I am still in class and cannot call in for a vacation day, so up for coffee, picking out something that will help me stay relatively dry and off for more learning.
Training is going well, I think we only have one or two more weeks, not really sure, then it is on the floor we go. I am excited to get to the work, nervous as well, like any new job. The only real way to learn it is to get thrown to the wolves.
Well, it’s a short one-today people; I am off to get dressed to begin my wet, soggy drive into work.
Blood Will Tell
Today I am coming to terms with what I thought I was; yes what, as in ethnicity. Family lore has it that we are part Native American on my grandmother’s side. A claim she vehemently denied, one we seriously thought she was not telling the truth about.
Allow me to digress for a moment, for Mother’s Day Jeffrey and Elizabeth Anne got me the Ancestry DNA test, I sent it in. The results came yesterday, I have always wanted to know exactly what I am. Now I know.
0% Native American, not even a small trace, I have more Spanish than Native American. Scandinavian, now that one was shocking to say the least, there are zero Viking stories in our family history. I now understand why I am so fascinated with Norse Mythology, this is starting to make sense.
The strongest bloodline that I have is Western Europe, which totally makes sense due to Thomas Testerman coming from that region in 1774. No Dutch or Scottish the way Grandma always said, surprisingly Irish, which I never believed.
I don’t know where to go with this information, I am not what I thought I was, I now begin a new journey finding out more about the genetic code I am made of.
Scandinavian makes sense in a way, because I am in 1642 in my research of my Grandmother’s side of the family and I am still in America. Since the Vikings discovered this country earlier than anyone else and settled here, it is not surprising we are made up of these brave people.
So, here is what I am: 52% Western European, 23% Scandinavian, 16% Irish, 4% English, 4% Spanish/Portuguese and a trace amount of Western Asia (Turkey/Syria region).
All in all, 100% American.
I told Tessa we are not Native American and she said I could have told you that. Then I told her we were Vikings, she nodded and said well yes, I have the hat. I should have just asked her what we are. Throw in Italian and Czechoslovakian
and you have my children. We are all such a mixture, it makes us who we are, whom we identify with is up to us.
I will have to adjust my inner thinking about my ancestral bloodlines, the research will continue and I will continue to be incredibly proud that I came from people that knew what they wanted and survived great hardships to attain it. To carve out a place for their progeny and future generations, and I will also be purchasing a Viking hat and Thor’s hammer.
Growth
Yesterday was Miss Jan’s birthday, I didn’t post yesterday, so I will take today to tell you all about this incredible woman. She is everything I wish I were, tall, thin, elegant, blonde and beyond nice. She is a good friend; she stood with me during my divorce and bitter custody battle when most friends fell by the wayside. I cannot begin to thank you enough Miss Jan. I don’t have the proper words to express how grateful I am that you are my friend. I hope your day was as incredible as you are!
This past weekend was good, really good; I was off Thursday so off to record with Shanon Jay I went. It was an awesome session, if you did not get to hear Saturday’s show you can do so now. Simply go to www.convosate.com, you can check out the latest one. It is very personal for me; I talk about a miracle that happened within my own family. My cousin Laura was the recipient of a great gift from God, well worth a listen.
Friday was getting Tessa from school, meeting Elizabeth Anne at the AT&T store; she has defected from Apple products. She purchased the new Samsung Galaxy 5 I believe is what it is. She said she loves it.
Then Friday night dinner, I am beginning to feel like the Gilmore’s, except without the maid and cook. Oh wait, that’s me. We had fried okra, corn on the cob, pork chops, mashed potatoes and homemade bread. Everyone seemed to enjoy it heartily, well worth the effort and time put into it.
Saturday was Ladies that Lunch, love those days and seeing everyone, we were a sparse group this time, but fun was had as always.
Sunday was Captain America, but you knew that, rain, love the rain, I wish it would rain every day.
Did you ever have someone say something that was so wrong that you wanted to respond, but since it was in a public forum you metaphorically bit your tongue? That happens to me a lot, especially with Facebook and Twitter, I read things that are so erroneous, or so outrageously well, the only word I have is stupid that I want to respond. However, once something is on the Internet, it is there forever, that is something people don’t seem to understand. I suggest thinking before posting, I try my best to think before posting, even here, where it is my page, but once again folks it is on the internet, it is forever. So I didn’t respond yesterday when someone said something that was not correct, and was a little, ok a lot, condescending and completely snotty. I chose to ignore it and move on, a few years ago, I don’t believe I would have done so. This is called growth and it is painful.
My Review of Spa Esoteric
Yesterday I went and had the facial Jeffrey gave me for my birthday, and I was not disappointed. The place he chose, Spa Esoteric, is located in old McKinney, in a house that is over 100 years old. When I walked in the door I was immediately put into a calm state, the atmosphere was nothing short of perfection.
My appointment was with Irene, she was gracious and welcoming, she explained to me step by step what was going to happen and how my skin was going to react. She expressed surprise at my age, in a good way, and put me at ease immediately. She told me she would not be chatting during the facial; she would only talk to me if she needed to tell me something about my skin.
I immediately fell in love, I do not enjoy chatting during my facials or massages, I want to relax, not talk. She asked what products I use, I told her I was a true Mary Kay user; I have been using the products for 25 years.
The Chocolate Cherry facial was beyond any expectations I might have had, my skin felt wonderful afterwards. She told me that whatever I was doing was working, she did recommend I use something gentle in the line on my face and only exfoliate twice a month for the type of skin I have.
She did not try and upsell me on needless products; she did not try and convince me that I need to change my current products. She told me that it was working for me, just be a little gentler with how I handle my skin.
I noticed that they do more than just facials; they have a full service salon within the building. I will be going back and enjoying the services they have to offer.
Please check them out at www.spaesoteric.com, well worth a trip to historic downtown McKinney. I believe in spending dollars locally, so I will be using them again and again. For many things, check out their website, make an appointment and enjoy. Especially if you live in McKinney or the surrounding areas.
The day got better from there, Alex had the day off and came over after my facial, then I went and picked up Tess from school. I made dinner, Jeffrey and I ate together then the Irishman came home with his two girls and Alex came back and I fed more people. There was plenty for everyone and they all seemed to like it, the only one missing was Elizabeth Anne and her fiancé with his daughter. Hopefully next time an impromptu family gathering happens she will be able to come down for that.
I have decided that whenever I pick up Tessa I will be making dinner, so maybe next time I pick up Tessa Elizabeth can plan on coming down and hopefully her intended will be in town so he can come as well.
That’s all I have for now, I hope everyone has a great day and enjoys the artic blast that is headed our way.
Happy Day After
What a great day yesterday was, I decided that since I was picking up Tess and the Irishman was getting his girls I would make some treats and order pizza for Valentines dinner.
So, I made cupcakes and dyed them red, with purple frosting, then made big, heart shaped, sugar cookies, bought candy, decorated the dining room. I thought that would be it, then to my surprise a text comes from Jeffrey telling me that Tessa’s class is having a Valentines Day party and it starts at 3 if I wanted to go. Did I want to go??? Uh, yeah!
So off I go to surprise Tess in her class, what fun, first graders are so much fun, no guile, no shyness, just pure joy. I took my camera and the kids had a ball taking it and taking pictures of each other. I am going to have the pictures printed and give them to Tessa for her to keep as a good memory of her first grade experience.
Then another surprise, the Irishman’s girls were having friends over, so extra pizza was in order; I already had enough of the other goodies.
Another surprise, Elizabeth Anne was in town and came by to visit with Tess and myself, then to top it off Jeffrey stayed and had dinner with us as well. The only person I didn’t get to see was Alex, the only thing that could have made it a completely perfect Valentines Day.
I know that Valentines Day is touted as a romantic day, however, love is love, and I got to be around people I love. I consider that a win.
Maybe next year will be about romance, we have had years where it is about romance, but this year was about family.
I hope everyone had a great day and celebrated in the manner in which they wanted to. If not there is always next year to look forward to.
Happy Quarter Century Elizabeth Anne
Today is the day, the day Elizabeth Anne turns a quarter of a century, time really does fly. It seems like yesterday her father and I were checking into the hospital to have her, to meet this beautiful creature we had been waiting for.
The first of February that year was beautiful, it was sunny and 70 degrees when we stepped into the hospital. When she was born that evening it was a raging ice storm, a perfect metaphor to welcome such an unpredictable human into the world.
She did everything fast, crawled, walked, talked, from the very beginning she has been a curious soul, needing to touch, taste, learn about her surroundings.
She is everything I could ever want in a daughter, smart, funny, beautiful and always willing to help whoever needs it.
Sometimes she is too much like me, in saying whatever she thinks, I too had to learn to control that urge. She is learning, I’ll give her that, faster than I did, have I mentioned she is smart?
Before I was even pregnant with her, I prayed for her, I asked God to give me a daughter with beautiful dark hair and dark eyes. I asked that she be independent, beautiful, smart, funny and believe in Him. I asked for a daughter that had a deep love of family, that was caring, that could accept others as they are and that she love animals. I know that last part is strange, but I come from a long line of animal loving people. Sometimes I think we like them better than we like people.
She is living proof that God does respond to prayer, I got what I asked for and more, she is an awesome daughter. The older she becomes, the more I like what I see in her, I like that she grows with each situation and learns from them.
She doesn’t accept the status quo; she is proactive in changing her situation, which I am most proud of.
She works harder than most men, physical labor, however she keeps her femininity, she exemplifies what it means to be a woman. She doesn’t rely on her looks to get by; she makes her own way, the way she wants, not what society dictates to her.
As she grows, she will only get better, by the time she is my age she will be the undisputed Empress, I will gladly abdicate to her.
Happy Birthday Elizabeth Anne, you are everything a mother could ever hope and pray to have in a daughter. I am so proud of you and the woman you have become.
Thank You
I would like to thank everyone for their words of encouragement yesterday, especially Elizabeth Anne who suggested a plastic surgeon. She knows I so want plastic surgery; two things keep me from going, money and fear.
I fear that once I start I won’t be able to stop, look at the celebrities who have it, they do not stop, Courtney Cox doesn’t even look like herself anymore and she was so pretty in Friends.
My mother used to tell me true beauty starts from the inside and works its way outward. I never really bought into that until later, when I looked at my mother in her 80’s and she was so beautiful.
So here I sit, pondering my future, wondering, always wondering, however, that is just me. I have read too many romance novels to know that it is only the young and beautiful that have excitement in their lives. I am past excitement, romance, the thrill of youth.
I never really had any of that in my youth, I married at 19 and started having children. My children have always been the loves of my life, I don’t regret having them when I did, I’ll always be grateful that I got to have the ones I did.
My biggest regret in life is not finishing my journalism degree, which I truly regret. I love words; nothing takes the place of the written word. Even on the Internet I truly do not enjoy videos, I like reading the news story better than watching an interview. Although some articles written on the Yahoo news site is incomprehensible, how do they hire these people? Some aren’t even written at a 5th grade level, horrible writing, biased leanings, just give me the news! Tell me what happened, do not interject your opinion, I miss true news reporting. Someone dig up Walter Cronkite, if you don’t know who that is, please look him up, he was awesome. At one point he was the most trusted man in America, no one trusts news reporters now. They interject their own agendas into the reporting, it is a travesty.
I know I got sidetracked, so back to me, in my dotage I vow to be more like my mother, seeing the good in people. Living life as it comes to me, not wishing for something I never had and will never have.
Even though now, when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize the woman staring back at me, I saw a gray hair yesterday. Must purchase new hair color.
I’m Alive!
I have a lot and a little on my mind, this month is quickly winding to an end and I am happy to see February on the horizon. First up, Elizabeth Anne’s birthday then mine, both milestones this year. Elizabeth Anne hits the quarter century mark and I hit the half-century mark. And for the first time she is half my age, this happens rarely and I believe it is a good sign, not that I really believe in signs or luck or anything else of that nature.
Still enjoys this rare occurrence, I shall, fully.
We are still enjoying the new abode, the house is wonderful, I am loving having carpet only in the bedrooms. I know the electric bills in the summer are going to be much less than being in the apartment. So many great things about living in a house as opposed to the apartment. Number one is no one is stomping on my head that was so completely annoying.
I know I haven’t written in a while, so let me get you all caught up. Last week Tessa’s mothers called me on Tuesday and said Tess was out of school Friday and could I pick her up and have her spend the night. Let me tell you I was all over that, put in for the afternoon off on Thursday and it was a Tess and Gigi day.
A pancake for breakfast, a quick run to Bed, Bath and Beyond for a special brush that is supposed to get tangles out easer then off to Kid Mania.
Fun was had by both Tess and Gigi, then her dad came and got both her and Russ as he was staying with us for a week.
The next day was museum day, I had promised Tess a trip to the museum and Jeffrey said let’s make a day of it. So we took her and the Irishman’s two girls to the DMA (Dallas Museum of Art) where we did indeed see a couple of mummies. One was a not royal person so their sarcophagus was not constructed as wonderfully as a Pharaoh’s would be so the feet were exposed. She could see what an actual mummy looked like. She was a little shocked, she thought they would be all wrapped in pristine linen, when I explained that the mummy was thousands of years old and that’s what they look like her jaw dropped. Totally worth the time and effort to get her there.
This weekend was uneventful, cleaning, laundry oh wait, no I lied! I got to see Elizabeth Anne for a few moments Friday evening and Saturday was lunch with Alex, very nice indeed. So see not so boring after all, today is back to work where I am sure I will be helping a ton of people keep their connection to the world. It’s always a good feeling to help someone keep connected.
Have a great Monday!
Catching Up
I know it has been a while since I checked in, however, in my defense, I have been very busy. Last week was insane, as you know we got the house, we were moving. It was Thanksgiving, which means a visit from Jeffrey’s pup Russ, this year Mickey joined us, our 20-year-old cat that lives with Elizabeth Anne. So, if you are counting, that is 3 animals with us, then to McKinney every day to feed, water, clean the litter box of the other cats that belong to Jeffrey and youngest Alex. Then pack, of course working Thanksgiving and the day after made things incredibly complicated, but we got it done.
The wonderful movers of Tom and Jerry moving showed up Saturday and were wonderful, I cannot imagine this move without them. They made it way less stressful. Saturday was busy right up to 11:00 pm. trying to find things in boxes I had marked not shoes was interesting. God bless the Irishman, he didn’t say a word of criticism on my labeling system. We found enough things to have coffee Sunday morning, so yay.
The house is wonderful, roomy, light and a really good neighborhood, I had forgotten how much I love living in a house as opposed to an apartment. It was a revelation having no one walk on my head during the night.
Stormie is adjusting to her new abode as well, I think she takes delight in sliding on the tile and wood floors. She is so funny, love that dog, she is a true Husky, loving, fun-loving and a wicked sense of humor.
At work yesterday, they gave us the news that 30 people will need to leave our office, there are only 80 of us, this is not good news. Of course I immediately took stock of my skills and realized none of them are marketable outside of the phone company. It is a devastating thought, I don’t know what to do if I am one of the 30. Where will I go, how does one start over at 50, incredibly depressing thought.
The things I love doing I don’t get paid for, being on the radio, writing, none of it pays. So that is out, roller disco doesn’t pay and neither does spouting my opinion.
My dream job would be to watch television and write reviews of my favorite shows, however, I don’t see people paying me for that either. If anyone has any ideas I would love to hear them. Real ideas, not pie in the sky ideas.
I am going to sign off now, Buffy is on, coffee is in hand and I am thinking of cooking myself some Blue and Gold sausage. Happy Wednesday!
Angie World 