Stress

I fee an inordinate amount of stress lately, stress beyond my control. I am one of those people that firmly believe if you don’t like where you life is, then change it. That easy, snap your fingers and change your life. I am finding it is not that easy, what has me so stressed you ask. Well the main thing is my work environment. The environment, not the actual job itself, I really like what I do, I like helping people, I like solving problems. I’m good at it, that is not bragging, that is fact, I am good at my job, I know how to do it, I am constantly learning, I get to talk to interesting people, who for the most part are nice and want my help. That part is not stressful, it is the other part, the pressure to make sure the customers know not to call back in for 24 hours; however, they are not the ones we have to worry about. It is our internal offices that code our accounts that give us what is called a repeat. We have no control over them, yet we are held accountable for them. Managers are going in and repeating us, yet we pay the price for that.
I feel such stress, my manager sits next to me all day, I feel like an animal in the zoo, not even a nice zoo, the ones that are full of Plexiglas and concrete floors. I feel trapped with no way out, I feel watched constantly, I need a way out, yet there is none. There is no where to go in a company that was once ripe with opportunity, that was known for the different avenues open to its employees. Now, when you land somewhere you are stuck and there is no help.
There are times my mind goes numb, my chest feels tight and it is hard to breathe, I have a hard time staying positive in such instances. It is a daily thing these days, I hide it as best I can, I know no one wants to hear it, so I say nothing. I know one day I will end up either in a fetal position on the floor under my desk or carried off to the loony bin in a straight jacket.