The Cold Within

Today I am taking a break from writing and instead posting a poem I read in Dear Abby, it is timely as our country is at a crossroads, again, with everything that is happening. Let’s all remember God made us the same inside, the only differences are what people see on the outside. I hope you all have a great Day!

The Cold Within
written by: James Patrick Kinney

Six humans trapped in happenstance
In dark and bitter cold,
Each one possessed a stick of wood,
Or so the story’s told.
Their dying fire in need of logs
The first woman held hers back,
For of the faces around the fire,
She noticed one was black.
The next man looking across the way
Saw not one of his church,
And couldn’t bring himself to give
The fire his stick of birch.
The third one sat in tattered clothes
He gave his coat a hitch,
Why should his log be put to use,
To warm the idle rich?
The rich man just sat back and thought
Of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned,
From the lazy, shiftless poor.
The black man’s face bespoke revenge
As the fire passed from sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood
Was a chance to spite the white.
The last man of this forlorn group
Did naught except for gain,
Giving only to those who gave,
Was how he played the game.
The logs held tight in death’s still hands
Was proof of human sin,
They didn’t die from the cold without,
They died from the cold within.

Friday Problems

It is finally upon us, Friday, let us all do the dance of joy, I know I am. After today just one and a half days of work! Then off till the following Tuesday, I only have one more person to buy presents for, Elizabeth Anne, and stocking stuffers, yes stocking stuffers. My grown children still expect stockings, and you know what, I still have a lot of fun doing them. So, continue to do them I will.
It has been raining here all week, the rain makes me so sleepy, so last night was an early to bed night, I slept very soundly, I love a rainy night. I know I stole that from Eddy Rabbit, you don’t have to tell me.
So far on my days off I have a dental appointment and a nail appointment, although I am thinking I may change my nail appointment to this weekend as my nails are getting way long, and typing the way I do all day this is not a good thing. Maybe if my occupation was Femme Fatale they would be the perfect length maybe even a little longer, however since I am an ordinary DSL technician for a major telecommunications corporation, they are a pain.
I am thinking I need a Christmas present for myself, I am in serious need of new pajama pants, and Old Navy is having their huge sale of $7.00 a pair and that is an excellent price. So this weekend that is a stop on my list, I also have new coupons for Bed, Bath and Beyond and one for Kohl’s, so those are on my list as well. I still have to make a grocery list, I am choosing to go grocery shopping when I am off, durring the week, hopefully it will be less crowded during the week than on a Saturday or Sunday.
Shopping with Elizabeth Anne again, to get her presents, since yes, I do need her help picking out her things. She is a tiny creature, size 0 that even some 0’s are too big. Before anyone gets on their high horse and says that is too skinny, this child eats, and is incredibly active, she is a farm girl after all, she takes after her dad’s side of the family, they are not big people, well the majority of them are not.
Ok, peeps, I have to go make myself beautimus for my co-workers, as you are getting dressed today remember the rest of us have to look at you, put some effort in people! I totally got that from an old Mervyn’s commercial. See ya in the funny papers!

Deep Thoughts

Well good morning everyone, I know it has been a while since we have visited, however I am still here. As you all know I live in North Texas, we are having incredibly strange weather, it is December and it is muggy, yes muggy, my hair is so curly it is ridiculous. I try and try to straighten it, but I just look like the wicked witch of the west. Ugh!
It is almost Christmas, almost time for my vacation, almost time to spend an evening with my amazing children. Almost, when it is almost time things seem go to in slow motion. At times I wish I were the Flash and could get everything done in an instant and the almost time would be gone and I would be at the good parts.
I am still reeling that someone who knows the little girl that went through so much found my blog and was able to give us all an update. I am still offering up thanks to God for her health, happiness and safety.
I love my mornings now, I awaken, watch an episode of Angel, have my coffee, ok, coffee is during Angel, then get dressed. I am loving it. TNT is playing the last season of Angel now, they are at the episode where Fred becomes a big blue meanie. I am loving it. I still miss Cordelia Chase, I identified with her character so much.
Angel is an interesting concept, redemption, we all want it, however can we earn it by doing good deeds? The bible teaches us that the only thing we have to do for redemption is to accept Jesus Christ as our lord and savior, accept that he is born of a virgin, died on the cross for our sins and rose from the grave three days later. I accept that. That is heavenly redemption. To gain redemption from our loved ones and those we have wronged here on earth is a different matter. That requires major hoop jumping, I don’t care if they seemingly accept your apology, one still has to show the wronged party they have changed and want to do better. It is a daunting task indeed and few are up to the challenge, but when one is, well it can be soul cleansing.
“Thank you for calling Angel Investigations, we help the hopeless”

Updates

This morning I awoke to a pending comment for my site, it was from a woman wanting all of us to know that A.L. is a happy, healthy nine year old girl who is well loved and cared for. She will never know how happy I was to read that simple statement. A.L. was the child who was tortured and abused by someone I had worked with, I wrote about the case earlier.
I don’t know how this woman found my site, I am just happy she did, God does answer prayers and I know He is looking out for this little girl and will continue to do so.
This weekend was filled with shopping, I am almost done which is amazing, I am one of those people that don’t Christmas shop until Christmas Eve! I only have a few things left to get Freddy and some things for Elizabeth. I will buy a tree on my way home from work on Tuesday and put it on the back porch to “fall”, then this next weekend will be decorating time! So excited, and I only have 6 and a half days of work left, then off for a week! Beyond excited about that.
I have plans to get my nails done, and baking, yes baking, and cleaning out things and more shopping and all kinds of things! I already sleep late, well later than 3am! I now wake up at a normal 6:30 am, I usually get up at that time on weekends as well. So, I will more than likely get up at that time when I am off.
Carpet cleaning was great yesterday, except moving all of the furniture! That stuff is heavy, I managed to get the dining room table on its side to move it, however when the man left, it was really tough getting back upright! Everything is in it’s place now and the carpet is very clean, I had him go over the dinning area twice, as it is a particularly high traffic area. Everything looks shiny and new. So yay me!

TGIF

Thank Goodness It’s Friday! Yesterday was another team meeting, there were even more team members there, and I changed desks yesterday to be closer to my new team. Another productive team meeting, everyone was fully engaged and contributed, it was just plain old fashioned good.
So far this weather has been great, cooler temperatures, we all know how much I love that. Boots, sweaters, leggings and cool leather jackets are the rule of the day. I am in heaven!
This weekend is a very busy one for me, carpet cleaning, the Irishman has his children, he wants to go see the Muppet movie with them. Then possibly shopping with Elizabeth Anne on Sunday. Then work for a week, then the following week one and a half days of work, then off till the Tuesday after Christmas! WooooHooooo! So excited, I love Christmas, I love this time of year. This is the only time I actually cook, like real food. I know!
I hope everyone has a great Friday and enjoys their weekend!

Simple Comforts

I love this new schedule, I find I love having a leisurely morning where I drink my coffee, sit and read the funny papers (online) and Dear Abby. It almost feels like working part time hours, I am no longer exhausted to the point where all I can do is come home and lay on the sofa. Now at the end of the day I still have energy, I can stop at the store, go shopping, do laundry, in other words a normal life. It feels good. I feel human again, I honestly did not realize how tired I was until I started working this shift, and realized how good I felt, physically.
I am still getting used to the Mac keyboard and the different ways I can spell check. I always use spell check, I am a fast typer and mistakes are inevitable. The last time I took a timing test I was at 95 words a minutes, with minimal mistakes. Of course that was looking at words on a paper and typing them. When I am typing something from a paper, I don’t even see words, I see characters. I don’t even know what I am typing until it is over, then I read it.
A lot of times I write out my thoughts then type it, I am very old fashioned. There is something about putting pen to paper, it clears the mind, one becomes more cognizant, at least I do. It could be due to the fact that when I was growing up there were no computers in houses, we had a typewriter, but it was a manual one, and difficult to use if you were a fast typist, the keys would get tangled if you went too fast. So writing on paper was it for me. It is comforting to me, that creative process.
Oh well, I must stop now, get dressed and go to work to help the people with their internet connections!

When Did Integrity Become Unpopular?

When did integrity become unpopular? When did doing the right thing become something of the past? These are questions I ask myself these days. Growing up I was taught by my Grandfather and my Dad that I come from a long line of people that stand up for people who cannot, for whatever reason, cannot stand up for themselves. We always do things the right way, even when it is inconvenient. Even if it makes us unpopular, we stand up for what we believe is right. Because in the end, when you are standing in front of God, you have to answer for not doing the right thing. Just because you can do something doesn’t make it right, just because it is not illegal doesn’t make it moral.
Being raised the way I was, becoming a Union Steward was a perfect fit, at least that is what I thought. Working in the core telephone company, I didn’t see members (that is how we refer to dues paying union members) taking advantage of lower seniority people. Seniority was and continues to be respected by the members. When I moved to a subsidiary, I began seeing things that were questionable. You expect management to try and get away with skirting around seniority, but you don’t expect your peers to do it. I admit it took me a long time to see this particular thing.
But when I did, I questioned it, I was told this was just the way it was. I became a Union Steward, I fully admit, since this did not effect me, I didn’t pay that much attention. Last year, I noticed someone with very high seniority, who had vacation the week of Thanksgiving, has signed up for Thanksgiving Day and the day after. I asked her about this, I said aren’t you going to be in California. She said oh I took that shift for someone else, and she named the person. This person was much lower in seniority than I. I said you took a shift I could have gotten with my seniority and worked and gave it to someone with lower seniority? I was furious, so I began to pay attention and talk to other members. I was told there was another union steward that does this every holiday. He takes a shift, he has no intention of working, so he can give it to a lower seniority person that would never get that shift otherwise. Thus making sure the people in between never have the opportunity to get that shift. Seniority was circumvented. Later after the holidays I spoke to the chief steward regarding this situation. I talked for two hours before she seemed to understand how this circumvented seniority, even though she had been an offender herself. She said she would speak with the one who was the most obvious offender.
Well, a year went by, no one came to me, thus I thought he had stopped. This Thanksgiving, someone said I believe he has done it again, so I checked and sure enough, he took a shift he had no intention of working with the intent to give it to the same person with lower seniority. What makes it obvious is that it is the same person every time.
I sent a text to the chief, who was clearly irritated I would not let this go. She finally said are you just pissed you didn’t think of it yourself, I would have done it for you. I said the difference is I would never have asked. She then went on to say she saw nothing wrong with it and I was ordered to let it go.
I talked it over with the Irishman, he was very angry with the situation as well, and it does not effect him. He wrote a post on her Facebook wall, which she ignored for almost a week, then when she did answer it was filled with double speak and political correctness. She deleted his post. So he created a note and posted it to his Facebook, I shared the note, as I thought it was well written and stated nothing but fact. I was attacked on my Facebook by two people. Please note I was not the one who wrote the note, however I was the one attacked for it. I was called classless for sharing it.
I then spoke with the chief who threatened to sue me if I did not take it down. I resigned from being a union steward, I am not afraid of being sued as everything that was said was the truth, however I was tired of fighting for something that people in power had no problem with.
I have thought about this for a long time, I am disgusted by the behavior of circumventing something that is so precious to us. It is all we have really, I have worked hard for mine, which my chief said I did not, I simply showed up to work and filled a seat and managed to not get fired.
I want to know when it became ok to treat people like they don’t matter, that what they have worked for doesn’t matter. Those are questions I would like answered. I can only surmise that not everyone had a dad and a grandfather like mine.

My Cousin Gary

I found out last night that my cousin Gary passed away, he died of cancer. I am not going to pretend to have been close to Gary at this stage in our lives. What I am going to do is tell you about the cousin Gary that treated his kid cousin like she was his equal.
When I was 12 years old I noticed that my cousin Gary stopped coming to Grandma and Grandpa’s when the family was gathered. So, being the inquisitive thing I was and still am, I went to Grandma and asked, “Where is Cousin Gary?” Grandma “He’s in the Pen.” Me “I dont’ know what that is Grandma” Grandma: “It’s jail.” Me: ” Why is he there?” Grandma: “He was framed.”
That was my grandma, if any one of us got into trouble it was never our fault, I miss having someone in my life with that kind of blind faith. However, even then I knew it was not the truth. So I went to my cousin Cindy and asked her why Gary was in “The Pen”. She told me, Cindy is always honest, always has been, always will be. The woman sugar coats nothing. I am not going to tell you what it was for, as that is neither here nor there, what I will tell you is he was not framed.
Some time later, I don’t remember exactly when, my grandmother asked me if I would write to Gary, as he was lonely and missed his family. I am sure she asked others as well, she never said. I said sure, so I wrote a letter to my cousin Gary. I never expected him to write back, I was just a kid and I was positive he had other things to do, even where he was. He did write me back and we became pen pals, so to speak.
Gary didn’t write to me like I was just his annoying younger cousin, he wrote to me like I was his equal. He got out later that year and began rebuilding his life.
At that point we were no longer pen pals, we were cousins, distanced by miles and age. I’ll never forget how Gary treated me, never like an annoyance, always with respect. So, that is the cousin I mourn today, I mourn that his parents, my aunt and uncle, have to bury their child, I mourn for his brothers and sisters, that they have to bury their sibling, I mourn for his wife and children and grandchildren.
I don’t know how Gary lived his life after the pen, I’ll be honest the last time I saw him was probably at our grandmothers funeral. Like I said, miles and age distanced us. However, Gary, if you are with grandma, can you give her a hug for me and tell her I never bought that you were framed.

Meep, Meep, Meep

This is my first post from our new Mac Mini computer; yes a Mac is a computer, so there. So far I love it, however this keyboard is taking some getting used to. It is more compact; therefore I have to adjust my reach while typing. Interesting.
I have a lot in my head that wants to come out, however it is harder to organize my thoughts this time of year. I have so much to do! So very busy. The Mac, in case you are wondering, is a Christmas present. No, not just for me, the Irishman and I decided instead of buying each other separate gifts, we would get something we both really wanted. A Mac, he has wanted one for a long time and I have always been intrigued by them. Everyone that has one loves it, so this is what we got, I don’t know the details of the machine, if you want to know that you will have to ask him, I just know that we have a huge 27 inch monitor, Cityville is feaking huge on it! Everything is so clear; it is amazing, so far so good.
Typing still taking getting used to, have had to delete and retype words, maybe I just let it go and let everyone see the issues I am having. No, not gonna happen.
I got my nails done this morning, I decided to go with a color, more festive for the holidays, I chose OPI color meep, meep, meep, yes that is the name of it, that is not my typing skills on this keyboard.
Ok, leaving you all now, have to begin getting ready for tonight, don’t judge, it takes a while for me to get all fancy.