Happy Anniversary Mom

August 11, 2003, ten years, it’s been 10 years since my mom went home. I cannot believe it has been that long, in the grand scheme of things it is a relatively short amount of time.
I still miss her, I miss her wisdom, I miss her acceptance, I miss her heart and I miss her soul. Being around my mother made one want to be a better person, not because she demanded it, but because her innate goodness shone through, I have never met another person like her. I have met some that their hearts reminded me of my mother, but none that their souls reminded me of her.
My most favorite thing to do with her was just to sit; we would sit on the recliner couch and say nothing. Just hold hands, in silence, you could feel her stillness, the peace her soul had, and you wanted it. I have never been able to attain her level of peace, I don’t know anyone else who has had it either.
When I lost her, I lost my touchstone, I lost the last person on earth that loved me for me, not what I could do for them, I lost the one person on earth who never judged me and simply accepted who I am.
It’s a terrible thing to lose ones mother before they are ready, I wasn’t ready; I was still young and needed her. Even though I was an adult and a mother myself, I wasn’t ready; I didn’t want to be alone in life.
However, God had different ideas, He wanted her home, she was ready to go home, to be with her love, my dad. He passed 10 years before her and she was more than ready to go be with him, she missed him more than I was going to miss her.
It is impossible to talk about her without mentioning him; she had been in love with him since she was 5 years old. She would call him daddio; I loved hearing her say that. The way she said the word, it was filled with her love for him. Even after 59 years of marriage she would still look at him with unwavering adoration. That kind of love doesn’t come around often and not everyone gets to have it.
So mom, I hope you are enjoying the anniversary of your home coming, I still miss you all the time. However I look forward to being there with you one day, I can’t wait to tell you how you influenced me, in ways that I didn’t even know until I was older. I am still discovering things about myself even now, thank you for being my favorite mom.

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