I tried to ignore this, I really did, but it hurt too much, physically hurt! I may make some people mad, please don’t be mad at me, well you can be mad, but then get glad in the same pants you got mad in. I just channeled my grandma there.
So, on Facebook, my love/hate relationship continues, someone posted that they wanted unconditional love in 2018. They meant romantic love, not familial love, or friendship love.
Unconditional romantic love doesn’t exist, it is conditional. If one is in a romantic relationship, if one person cheats, lies and is abusive, the other person will fall out of love and leave.
It is not unconditional, I have unconditional love for my children, I will never, ever, leave their sides. I will call them out on any behavior that is not good for them or the ones around them. I have done it before, I am not afraid to do it again.
I have unconditional love for my family, now this does not mean I will put up with abusive behaviors, or lies, I will cut them off, I will still love them, but I will not hesitate to put them out of my life. Especially if I have called you out on said behavior and you continue with it. I still love you, but I don’t want to be around you.
Romantic love is beyond different in all of those instances. If you are in a romantic relationship you open yourself up in a different way, you become more vulnerable, telling that person things you would never tell anyone else. Sharing yourself in a way that two become one, in their very souls. It is rare and unique, and it is conditional. It is conditional upon that other person being worthy of that bond, that trust, if it is broken then the love will die. If one person in the relationship breaks the trust and becomes abusive, emotionally, mentally, physically or verbally; the love will die. Once again, conditional love, I will continue to love you if you treat me a certain way. With respect, love, kindness in all aspects of life.
Once that trust is broken, the love will eventually die, it might take weeks, months and sometimes years, but it will go away.
Romantic unconditional love does not exist, it is not real, there are no knights on horses waiting to swoop us up. There are real men and women, who are flawed beings that can work towards making romantic love work. But it takes work on both sides, it is an every day kind of thing, it is monotonous at times, boring at times, mentally draining at times, but it can be achieved. However, it is not unconditional, it has conditions that have to be met.
Marriage is a contract, once it is signed you promise to love, cherish, be faithful, honor and if you are of a certain faith obey. I am not going to debate the whole obey thing here, if you promise that, it’s your business not mine.
But the rest, it takes hard work after the honeymoon period is over, a lot of people don’t understand that.
So, in essence, stop looking for something you are never going to find, look for real, for honest, for loyalty.
As for me, I am choosing to wait for Dean Cain, I refuse to accept anything less than my superman.
And yes, I do realize this will never happen, I am not an idiot. What this means is I am choosing to be alone, due to the fact that I have yet to meet a man (relatives aside) that can actually fulfill his end of the contract. Faithfulness, loyalty, kindness and loving. If you have this in your life, good for you, you found it, but if you are honest you will admit that it is conditional on them continuing to treat you in this manner.
All comments and complaints welcome, feel free to leave them here or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.