Morose

Ok, so, I have effectively found myself in an odd place to be. The next few sentences might sound like I am fully taking credit for something, and you would not be wrong thinking that.

I am taking credit for my BBFF finding an amazing GF, and my BFF finding an amazing man. I don’t know if they are officially BF/GF yet, so I won’t label it as so, until I get the official word.

So, thanks to me they have love lives.

I do not, apparently I can help others, I simply cannot help myself.

The other night I started thinking about it (very dangerous territory), a lot, I came to the conclusion that no one has ever been in love with me. Oh people love me, my children, my granddaughter, friends, family, but I am talking romantic love.

Well, maybe Kent King, I think he did, with his whole teenage heart. But that’s it for me. I was 17 the last time someone was in love with me.

I admit I got a little teary eyed, then the cat jumped in my lap. He thought my tears were meat tenderizer, I said not today Fat Catstard, not today. My face is staying where it is, you will not feast as of yet. He looked me right in the eyes. I stared him down, he jumped down and sauntered off.

It is now too late for me, I wasted my 40’s with a person who didn’t love me. I don’t consider my 20’s being wasted as I have three of the most amazing children on the planet earth.

I read a book recently where one of the characters had missed her chance with the love of her life. They reunited as adults in their 50’s. The love was there but the white hot passion of youth was of the past.

She had the opportunity to go back in time and change things. She took the chance.

She did change things and spent her life with the love of her life and she did have the passion of youth with him.

Thinking of my life I would go back, but not that far, I would only go to 2009 and change things. There is nothing else I would change, I want to keep the children I have.

I’m done being morose, the cat will not be feasting on my face for the time being.

I know I talk a lot about Dean Cain. I don’t think I can ever meet him in person. If I do I would probably be rendered mute, instantly. I would embarrass myself greatly and I would never recover, like ever.

So there we have it, no meeting Dean for me unless I can work on controlling my geeky tendencies and not go all fan girl on him. I will only have one chance to impress him and make him fall head over heels in love with me. So that is the quandary, do I take that chance or just live with unrequited love?

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