Keep Lookin’ Up

Easter was the first time ever, that I had all of my children on a holiday, it was nice, the only one missing in the family was Tessa. It was her mom’s turn for Easter.

I would like to make it clear I don’t consider myself Stacy’s mom, she is my daughter, but I am not her mother. She has a mother, she has a father, and they have and continue to be good parents to her.

I haven’t written in a while because my thoughts are scrambled, there is too much going on in the world, in the United States, in Texas and in McKinney. It’s insanity I tell ya, the world is totally going to hell in a hand basket faster than we can imagine.

So, the Irishman has decided we are married, he told me that we were, I scoffed, he said look it up. Sure enough, in Texas, we meet the requirements of common law marriage. AS a matter of fact, if we broke up, we would have to divorce.

Now he has it in his head that we need wedding rings and has changed his status on Facebook to married.

I really don’t know how I feel about this, in his mind I think he sees it as a renewed commitment to me. To our relationship, to let others know he will not entertain interference from outside forces. Maybe this is more of a reminder for him, than I, that he is in a relationship, that we do live together and have since 2010. I don’t know, it’s just kind of unsettling to come home to ring size papers everywhere.

The days are getting longer, there is no chance of me getting snow this year, I am sad, I didn’t get it once this year. Not one single time, it is disheartening, when there is no snow I believe God is angry with me, that there is something I was supposed to do for him and didn’t.

I’ll have to figure it out before next year, as I want snow, desperately want snow, it is the great equalizer of the world. The way it blankets the earth in pure, sparkly whiteness, making even the ugliest of landscapes beautiful. There is something magical, pure, a giant blanket giving the earth warmth. I miss it, I crave it, I need it and it renews my soul, my soul is hurting this year from the lack of snow.

Yes, I now it sounds crazy and no, I do not care, you have your thing, I have mine.

I do look forward to summer, to being able to have Tess more, to take her to the pool, skating, bowling and maybe a trip to the Laura Ingalls Wilder museum. That would be incredible.

That is a trip my mother always wanted to take, so me taking Tessa would be honoring her memory. Then maybe a side trip to Silver Dollar City, how fun would that be! I’ll have to map it out and see how far it is and see if there are hotels near these places.

I know there is around Silver Dollar City, the other is in question.

TTFN, see ya soon, and remember keep lookin’ up, cause that’s where it all is! (Yes a Kidd Kraddick quote to end this)

Finally, a Hug From God

I awoke to the most amazing sight, snow, wonderful fluffy snow, not to be fooled, underneath is pure ice, but the fluffy frosting is nothing short of a hug from God.

I am not the only one enamored of the white fluffiness that has enveloped us, Stormie is equally happy.

So this week is the last week of our challenge at IPT (Infinity Personal Training) and we all know what that means. Next week I can have coffee if I so choose to, there is the catch, if I choose to. I am a little scared, I have not had any for six weeks, I know I will have a reaction, the question is, will it be good or bad. I don’t want to go back to my pot a day habit; I do know that, I do believe I will continue to start my day with lemon water.

Right now I am drinking hot water with lemon (real lemons, not the fake “real” lemon juice they sell), local raw honey (I prefer Nature Nate’s, created and bottled in Frisco, TX) and since last week I have been adding a pinch of sea salt. I have to tell you that is amazing! I will continue this habit, it is just a great way to start the day, perhaps I will save coffee for the weekend. Not an every day thing, just a treat on Saturday and Sunday.

This challenge has shown me that I can do more than I thought and can change an old habit and create a new one. I feel stronger, more in control of my addictions, such as coffee and sugar, I overall feel better. I never thought I would say that I look forward to working out, but I do, I love going to IPT, I actually look forward to sweating! What is happening to me??? This is insanity, I may need help, someone check on that for me, is this some strange new disease?

This week the group challenge is 3000 reverse lunges; we will be doing 750 each as one of our teammates has a knee issue. Not a problem, we will get it done! I am 320 in and my goal for today is 300 more. Pray for me, my legs already hurt!

I discovered a new smoothie I am in love with, strawberries, dark chocolate, a teaspoon of honey, power greens, two scoops of protein powder and almond milk. I am in love, it is so amazingly good, I highly recommend it, it tastes like a chocolate strawberry shake. You have to try it!

 

No Snow

Well last week was it, the week of my birthday, I turned 51, yes, I said it, 51, what an interesting age this is. Especially shopping for clothes, they are either too old or too young; it is disheartening. Especially as I continue to lose weight, I want cute clothes, not old woman clothes.

I don’t want to dress dowdy, I want to wear cute, fitted jeans, I don’t want to wear loose clothing. I do like pajamas, however, I can’t wear those outside the house, which is one rule I will never break. Elizabeth Anne, take heed, never, ever let me leave the house in pajamas when I am senile. Make sure I have real clothes on.

I took the week off of work and it was glorious, I had a lot of lunches, I napped, I spent time with two of my children and Tessa.

I was never much of a nap person, until last week, I found them lovely, considering I was up early and working out the nap was awesome.

Speaking of working out, I have lost another 6 pounds and 8 inches overall, I continue to shrink and what is even better I continue to gain strength.

I did have cake, but that was on Valentines Day, at the Chocolate Angel, my good friend Wanda arranged a couples dinner and we were on the invite list.

It was so much fun, there were 7 couples and I only knew two of them, the others were so fun. They were engaging, witty and like me, they seemed like they had never met a stranger.

It was fun getting dressed up in one of my Tahari dresses and heels and having a wonderful meal with great conversation.

I also had a Friday the 13th last week; those are my favorite days as they are good luck days in my family.

The only thing that put a damper on my week was no snow; this year I did not get snow on my birthday. At first I felt neglected, it is after all how God shows me He loves me. At least that is what my mom always told me, snow is my friend, it comforts me, it turns everything drab and ugly into a glistening wonderful world. Filled with hushed silence and a weight that envelopes one, it simply speaks of love without saying a word.

I have to think that perhaps someone up North needed it more than I this year, maybe they were particularly lonely and needed the cool embrace that comes with snow. I’ll never know, I just shall pin my hopes on next year.

Well, I am off now, to more torture at Infinity Personal Training, where I sweat the weight away and get into zombie fighting shape.

 

 

 

Dream

I woke at 3am unable to get back to sleep, I got up and turned off the timer on the coffee maker and am having coffee, I will be having a lot of coffee. Forewarned is forearmed.
I woke from a bad dream, i have not had a bad dream in a really long time, this one, i believe was particularly telling. I was in Colorado, which is usually a happy dream, however in my dream I had gone there to recover. I’m not sure what happened to me, but I looked pretty mangled. I was all hunched over and my hand was all curled up, my right hand. I was in a house, with stairs, which I could not get up, so i was pretty much housebound. Then came a huge snow storm, which, once again is usually a happy dream for me. However this time I could not fend for myself, I couldn’t go to the yard and get firewood when the power went out and had a hard time making myself something to eat.
There was a knock on the door and a man was standing there, I don’t know what he looked like, he said the town sent me to take care of you during the storm. So, of course, I did in my dream what I would really do in real life. I said, I’m fine, I don’t need any help.
I woke at that point, I woke with an overwhelming sense of sadness, you have to understand, I am rarely sad, like ever. Even when I think of my deceased parents, I miss them, especially my mom, but I am so happy that I will see them again.
I know I go on a lot about snow, it is a metaphor for me, it tells me God loves me, and as silly as that seems, it is what it is. I have not had snow in a couple of years, I am feeling stressed, an overwhelming sense of sadness had enveloped me.
I believe that God was talking to me in the dream, telling me He is always here, I don’t need snow to remind me of His amazing love for me. Also to accept help when it is offered, which is a hard lesson for me, I am incredibly independent and have been my entire life. It is hard for me to accept help, I will try to be more open to that.
Today is Friday, a real Friday, so I shall be obtaining Starbucks on my way to work, I do believe I have earned it with my rough night. Also, party at Wanda’s tonight! Woo and Hoo!!

Early Present

So, I had something strange happen yesterday, when I collected the mail I had a surprise delivery. The magazine Guideposts was sitting in my mailbox, why is this strange you ask. Well, I didn’t order a subscription to Guideposts, I know you are still wondering the significance of this happening, I’ll explain.
When my mom was alive she would give me a subscription to Guideposts for Christmas every year. I loved it; I loved all of the uplifting stories, real stories of real people experiencing miracles, small and large. Stories of God’s constant presence, stories that would make me laugh, cry and just feel good. Since my mom passed away I have not received the magazine.
My birthday is Sunday, I feel like I have been given a gift from my mom. I don’t know how this ended up in my mailbox, I am going to go with divine intervention, it has my name on it, my correct address, not a place I lived when my mom was alive, so I know it was not something lingering in their system. I am going to consider it an early Birthday present; perhaps God is sending it in place of my snow.
A strange, wonderful present, I am not going to analyze it, which is my habit, I am just going to enjoy my present from my mom.

Lettuceless Salads and Sweater Dress

Well it’s Tuesday and it’s snowing, I am happy, remember snow = God’s love, it blankets you and makes everything beautiful. My mom, who knew how much I love snow, used to tell me that snow was God’s way of telling me he loves me. I was so happy to see it this morning, like a long lost friend who has come to visit, no matter the length of the visit, they are always welcome.
Today is sweater dress and purple boots day, thank you to Elizabeth Anne for the boots, they are still my favorites. They match my purple purse that was also from Elizabeth Anne, I am a lucky mom. I’m having a really good outfit day; I should take a picture, because I look good, except for the remnants of the fever blister. Talk about being brought back to reality, it’s always something.
I would like to take a moment and give a huge shout out to Spanx, I love them, I believe they are the best invention ever, they make me look good. Especially considering the food fest I was on in December, Spanx is my best friend right now.
So I got these new things, Salad additions by Lean Cuisine, so far I am enamored, I tried the Asian chicken one yesterday and today I will be trying the southwest chicken. I am a huge fan of salad, as long as there is minimal or no lettuce. I am not a huge fan of lettuce; I am a huge fan of the lettuceless salad, what is that you ask. Well, it is everything but the lettuce, all the good stuff, the chicken, the croutons, the cheese, all that stuff. Not to worry, I am putting lettuce in these, I am trying to be good after being bad for so long.
I won’t go on and on today, I just want to enjoy the snow while it lasts, it is supposed to be 40 degrees today so that means the snow won’t last. I wish it would snow for days, maybe on my birthday it will do that, that would be amazing.

Snow = God’s Love

I think by now you all know how I feel about snow, it is the great equalizer, it makes everything it touches beautiful and pristine. It is simply perfection, it is God’s tangible proof He loves me that is my belief. Even a little snow makes me happy, on Monday, here in North Texas, God sent a message, He sent snow, to give a message of hope. It was a smattering, not enough to cover the rooftops, but it was enough. Enough to start my week off the right way, to let me know that everything is going to be ok.
As the week goes on I am reminded daily that I am loved and everything will turn out ok, as my grandmother used to say, it all comes out in the wash. It all works out in the end, and in the end it really doesn’t matter. She had a way with words.
I have not had sugar this week at all, well, natural sugar in the form of fruit, but that is acceptable, I have had no processed sugar. I have had no artificial sweeteners, no diet cokes, I can tell my body feels better, but my taste buds want sugar, my brain wants sugar, my whole being wants sugar. I shall persevere, I will not give in, I will not eat sugar. Until Christmas.
Today is my Thursday, tomorrow is my Friday, and I am going to go with hot Passion tea for my Starbucks treat, no Snowman cookie, nothing sweet, it will be fine. I have some amazing news, I have not been sick in 13 months; I have not had a sniffle, a fever, stomach bug, nothing. I know my doctor has forgotten who I am at this point because I have not seen him in over a year. This is amazing; I usually get sick twice a year, like clockwork, but not this year. Not since getting off of the artificial sweetener and moving to local honey. I don’t know if there is a real correlation, however I am going to take it.

Christmas Memories

Well Christmas is upon us and it is time for me to do a spreadsheet to keep up with Christmas presents for people and my Christmas budget. Yes, I do that, I keep a spreadsheet; it makes life easier to keep track of what I get for people and the amount of money I spend. I don’t charge anything, I spend cash, this way I don’t owe anything after Christmas, makes for a very stress free January.
This time of year is filled with highs and lows for me, while I love Christmas and I love spending it with my children and Tess, I miss so many people this time of year. I really miss my mom; I keep her memory especially close to me this time of year. I make her dressing recipe, I cook things in her cooking pot I have and I have a couple of her ornaments for my tree. She always delighted in Christmas so much, she was truly a blessed person, she loved opening her home and heart to all, she encouraged her children and grandchildren to invite others to partake in the festivities. I remember she used to buy extra gifts, generic ones for boys and for girls. She didn’t want anyone to feel left out if they arrived unexpectedly, they would have a gift to open along with everyone else. There are so many reasons my mom was loved by everyone who came into contact with her, this small gesture is just one of the reasons, when you walked into my mom and dad’s home you knew you were welcomed.
I tend to be more nostalgic this time of year, I know, I am nostalgic all year long, however this time of year it is magnified, so if you have not experienced that with me before, well, welcome to December. I’d like to be able to promise I won’t go overboard, however, I will not lie to you, it is going to happen. I miss the snow, snow and Christmas just go together, I hate that we only have it here every once in a while. We did not have it last year, but the year before we did, it is not looking good this year for snow; however I am keeping hope alive.
In the country, at my mom and dad’s house, when it snowed, it was amazing, magical, beautiful, especially when the moon was high in the sky. The snow covered trees sparkled like they were covered in silver glitter, glistening, making everything amazing and wondrous. To this day, when I am sad, I close my eyes and conjure the images of days past, when it would snow and make even the starkest of landscapes amazingly beautiful.
I hope everyone has a magical Christmas, and an amazing New Years, that is my prayer for all of my friends this time of year. I would love to hear about some of your favorite memories about the holiday season, what you used to do as a child, the things your parents used to do that you now continue with your children.

Tuesday Thoughts

When you are friends with a couple and they break up, who decides who the friends go to? I found out, via the Irishman, that a couple we are friends with apparently broke up. He found out via Facebook, the woman in the couple had unfriended him. I did a quick search on my Facebook and sure enough, she was gone. I was sad, I didn’t have a choice in this, I met them as a couple, I considered her more my friend than him, but I got dumped, I don’t even know how to take it. I wasn’t given a choice in the matter, why didn’t I get the option to choose? Was it that bad of a break up that she felt the need to purge anyone that knew him out of her life? I don’t know, I will never know, and I have to be honest, I didn’t know she had deleted me from Facebook, I don’t pay attention to unfriends me. I would not have known, ever, if the Irishman had not said anything.
I’ll miss seeing her at his friend’s gatherings, she was a lot of fun, delightful, full of life, well, I guess she still is. She’s not dead, but when there is a breakup, the person that is no longer around might as well be, as I will never see her again. Oh well, it is what it is I guess, such is life. All of the other cliché things I can think of, which at this hour of the morning, with the scant amount of coffee I have had is not many.
I am very upset with the weather conditions here in North Texas, I want snow, I want fall like weather at the very least. I am getting balmy, really, balmy in October, I need cold, winter, wet, this is beyond ridiculous, I am going to have to have a conversation with the big guy. I am wearing boots today, as I believe if you dress for it the weather will follow suit. Theory is being tested lately. Is there a snow dance?

Dawn’s in Trouble, Must Be Tuesday

I did something I have not done in a while last night, I cooked, yes, me, cooked, not in the microwave, but in the oven. I had an urge, I saw a recipe and wanted to try it, so I did, and it was yummy. Bonus, I did not set the fire alarm off, major accomplishment. I will be taking some for lunch today.
I will be taking my lunch as I will not have a car today, the Irishman has to take me to work as my car is in the shop and Alex is coming home today and well, his car is my spare. So excited Alex is coming home, hated him being in Mexico. So, today is going to be a good day.
Our new shift bid selections have come out and I have turned mine in, I really hope I get my number 1 choice, keep your fingers crossed. All the people who currently have the shift I want are lower in seniority than me, so unless there is an unsettling balance I should get it. I will tell you all what it is after they announce the new schedule Which will be March 23rd.
I am saddened by the lack of cold and snow this year, no one will ever know the disappointment that I feel. I feel abandoned by snow, ok, if I am honest, I feel like I am being punished. I can’t figure out for what, but I feel this is a punishment. Or, maybe God needed all the snow in heaven this year for Chewie’s enjoyment. I thing I have figured it out! Some state needed to sacrifice their snow, Chewie I gladly give you my snow this year! I hope you have enjoyed it my friend, you deserve it.
This weekend I went on a mini shopping spree on Ruelala and Zappos, so I am spent out, no more shopping for me for a while, although I do need new spring and summer tops. Hmmmm, could be a shopping trip is in my future! Till tomorrow my friends, I hope your day brings peace, love, happiness and if you can’t have that, chocolate!