I woke at 3am unable to get back to sleep, I got up and turned off the timer on the coffee maker and am having coffee, I will be having a lot of coffee. Forewarned is forearmed.
I woke from a bad dream, i have not had a bad dream in a really long time, this one, i believe was particularly telling. I was in Colorado, which is usually a happy dream, however in my dream I had gone there to recover. I’m not sure what happened to me, but I looked pretty mangled. I was all hunched over and my hand was all curled up, my right hand. I was in a house, with stairs, which I could not get up, so i was pretty much housebound. Then came a huge snow storm, which, once again is usually a happy dream for me. However this time I could not fend for myself, I couldn’t go to the yard and get firewood when the power went out and had a hard time making myself something to eat.
There was a knock on the door and a man was standing there, I don’t know what he looked like, he said the town sent me to take care of you during the storm. So, of course, I did in my dream what I would really do in real life. I said, I’m fine, I don’t need any help.
I woke at that point, I woke with an overwhelming sense of sadness, you have to understand, I am rarely sad, like ever. Even when I think of my deceased parents, I miss them, especially my mom, but I am so happy that I will see them again.
I know I go on a lot about snow, it is a metaphor for me, it tells me God loves me, and as silly as that seems, it is what it is. I have not had snow in a couple of years, I am feeling stressed, an overwhelming sense of sadness had enveloped me.
I believe that God was talking to me in the dream, telling me He is always here, I don’t need snow to remind me of His amazing love for me. Also to accept help when it is offered, which is a hard lesson for me, I am incredibly independent and have been my entire life. It is hard for me to accept help, I will try to be more open to that.
Today is Friday, a real Friday, so I shall be obtaining Starbucks on my way to work, I do believe I have earned it with my rough night. Also, party at Wanda’s tonight! Woo and Hoo!!