Happy Birthday to Me

Well today is the day, my birthday, I can’t decide if I feel older, younger, the same, do I still feel immortal? Am I now mortal? These are the burning questions of the day. I will tell you this, today is an exceptional outfit day, Michael Kors shirt dress with purple suede knee boots, top it off with my purple Coach purse and that is what I call an outfit.
I still love my birthday, I do wonder when I will begin to abhor it, will it be when the wrinkles set in? When there are too many to count? Or will I be proud of my age and shout it to the world? As of now I tell no one my age, I subscribe to my grandmothers way of thinking. Whenever people would ask her how old she was, she would say “old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway.” I like that. I just tell people I am 19, it is an obvious lie, however, it makes me feel better. Now through some miracle of science I am younger than all of my children, a heady feeling indeed.
Act your age, a saying we have all heard growing up, I wonder what it means, especially at the age I have become. What does acting ones age mean? What does it mean for me? Should I give up knee high boots? Should I cut my hair in a short hairstyle? Should I be more serious? More staid, steady, dependable, well ok, I am already dependable. But how should one behave at such an advanced age?
One thing I will tell you, for all of my little insecurities, I believe with my whole heart that I am really pretty. I have great hair, pretty eyes and the personality to go with it. My self esteem is very much intact, thanks to amazing parents and grand parents that told me every day that I was beautiful.
I remember one time when I was 16, my mom had a giant Christmas cactus and she wanted my dad to take a picture of it. He didn’t want to just take a picture of the plant so he told me to get behind it. He was looking through the camera lens; he slowly put the camera down and looked at me. It was like he was seeing me for the first time. He said, “You’re pretty.” I said “I know”, he said, “no, you’re really pretty, the get into trouble kind of pretty.” I said “I know, are you going to take that picture or what?” it was after that he began to question my dates a little harder and put the guns in eye range.
I still believe that I am pretty, there might be a couple of more lines around my eyes, a couple of grey hairs (which will be taken care of) and less naiveté, however I still believe.

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