Frenemies, a made up word that has been added to our cultural terms, it is applied to people in your life that seem to be friends, but they are in fact your enemy. Sometimes you don’t even know they are your enemy until it is too late.
I had one, I’m sure I’ve had more than one; however there is one that I can pinpoint. I thought we were friends, when in reality she was doing all she could to sabotage me at work. I know what you are thinking, work friends, please don’t let the place we met fool you. I thought we were real friends, go to her house for Thanksgiving kind of friends. Invited to her brother’s birthday party; her husband’s birthday party and even doing a charity walk with her mother. Talk on the phone outside of work, go out to eat, shopping together kind of friend.
People, who know me well, know that if I go shopping with you, I consider you a friend, shopping is my relaxation; to go with someone I am not friends with would defeat the purpose. I never defeat the purpose. Ever.
I didn’t find out about her perfidy until it was too late, when she had done something at work that made others take a step back. Even then I thought there had to be more to the story, there wasn’t, I found out then some hard truths.
She had been going to management behind my back for years, let me reiterate, years, telling untruths about me and generally badmouthing me, for what reason I will never know. When the particular incident happened, and I chose, in my capacity as a Union Steward, to stand up for the person she had betrayed it did not sit well with her.
I was cut off without a word, nothing, someone I had been to their house for holidays and family gatherings cut me off without a word. I got plenty of looks and words behind my back, but nothing to my face. I was shocked to say the least, then when everything else started coming out I was, well flabbergasted is the only correct word here.
I honestly had no idea this had been going on behind my back, I began to question all my friends I had made at work. Well, not all, but a lot, to my knowledge this frenemy, and possibly one other, were the only incidents.
I learned a lot from that lesson; I am still friendly, however now I am cautious, if someone will talk about others to you they will talk about you to others. My first clue with this woman should have been the time she told me that she and a friend from high school would get together once a week to look at old friends from school on Facebook, drink wine and make fun of how old they looked. She then looked at me and said I know you do the same. I said no, no I don’t, I look at people I knew in high school and see the same faces I saw back then.
How sad must one’s life be to look at others and find fault and make fun of their life troubles, I don’t hate my former frenemy, I pity her. She will never know what it is to have real friendships, she will continue alone on the path she has carved out for herself. Always sabotaging, always secretly hating, always searching.

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