I want to be skinny. There, it’s out, my big secret, I feel so much better. (Does anyone but me feel the sarcasm in that last statement?) I have never hidden the fact that being skinny is my main objective in life. It has been since I was born, I say born because I, honestly, not remember a time I didn’t want to be skinny. I was a chubby kid, a chubby teenager, well, until about 16, then I was ok. Just ok, not skinny.
I grew up in an era where skinny, thin, beautiful women ruled the world. My best friend was even one of those creatures. It was not a good time to grow up chubby.
I have battled my weight my entire life. It’s like God said I’m giving you a brain and a nice speaking voice but the rest of it, you’re on your own. Good luck kiddo.
Battle it I have, one time, in high school, I ate nothing but celery for an entire month. To this day I cannot just eat a stalk of celery by itself. It’s traumatic, I have flashbacks.
When people try and admonish me for wanting to be skinny I very literally roll my eyes. I want to say you have never been me, you don’t know what it is to be the fat one in a friendship or the fat one in a relationship for that matter. For some odd reason, I am only attracted to thin men. I am a total glutton for punishment. Being married to someone who can eat whatever they want whenever they want was torture. Having children who are the same way was nightmarish. Although I would like to interject here, I am beyond thrilled they will never know the absolute heart wrenching pain I go through on a daily basis.
I work hard and deprive myself of all the things I love. All because I do not want to be 300 pounds or more.
I love sitting, I love puffy Cheetos, I love sweets and chocolate with a passion. I really miss diet coke and movie popcorn dripping in fake movie butter, throw in some milk duds and my head might explode. I cried a little just writing that.
So, before you decide to tell someone, who states they want to be skinny, be happy with yourself, perhaps think about it. I will never be happy with the way I look from the neck down.
I will say I a very happy with myself from the neck up, I am pretty, not beautiful, not gorgeous, but pretty, in a completely old, country kind of way. I clean up really well with the right lighting and makeup.
Being skinny is my goal, I will never achieve it because I have super fat thighs and they just are not going anywhere. Oh and while I am on this topic, I do not, in any way, shape, form or fashion want a big butt. I would very much like my hips, thighs, buttocks, stomach, calves, arms and chest to just disappear. I am sure the Irishman would agree, I completely can tell he is tired of living with someone who looks the way I do.