Hello Darkness My Old Friend

Once upon a time there was a little girl that believed in the inherent goodness of others. Then she grew up, she learned that people are not inherently good, that there is a darkness that lives in the hearts of people.

Fighting off the darkness is a full time job for some, ok, for me. I am a preternaturally happy person, but it hides a darkness. Just as an example, when I’m driving I wish death on people, actual death. In my defense these are people that drive slow or cut me off. If you do neither of these things you have nothing to worry about. Thank God, He never listens to that part of me. Otherwise people would be dropping like flies, which would cause major wrecks. I spend as much time praying for forgiveness after my drive as I did driving to my destination.

Does that one particular habit of mine make me dark? No, not that alone, I will tell you this, I typically am drawn to the villain in any given storyline of movies, comics or books.

Darth Vader, Loki, Lex Luther are just a few that come to mind. I feel they are misunderstood. Let’s explore:

Loki is gleeful in his lust for power, he is filled with glorious purpose. May favorite line in The Avengers. He gleefully causes mayhem and destruction wherever he goes. He should be a king, he has the blood of kings flowing in his veins. Once he knows this, he wants his rightful throne, on any world. It doesn’t matter. Filled with glorious purpose.

Darth Vader embraces his darkness and greatness ensues. What is not to love about a person who embraces his inner, true self? He takes his duties seriously and he can choke someone by just his thoughts! Who would not want that skill?

Which brings us to Lex Luther, Lex always believed what he was doing was for the greater good. He saw Superman as a threat, an alien invader. Stronger than anyone on the face of the planet. If he decided to wreak havoc who could stop him? Lex’s heart is in the right place, it was his methods that were questionable. He was and continues to be a perfect foible for our hero. Someone who actually wants to keep him in check. I’ve had a few of those in my life.

We all have that capacity for darkness, well, not all, my mom didn’t have it. But the rest of us, well, yes, we do have that darkness. We all fight against it, no one I know personally fully embraces it.

I admit, I embrace parts of my crazy and parts of my darkness, not all, just the ones that are fun for me.

I once had a therapist tell me I was the most mentally healthy person he had ever met. I know what my issues are, embrace the ones I like and throw away the ones that are detrimental to my well-being.

I would love to hear what you consider to be your darkness. You can comment here or email me at angie@angieworld.com

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