Finding Your Passion

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about finding my passion, finding the one thing I love so much I’d do it for free. Finding your passion is finding the thing you are supposed to do with your life. Granted this is something I should have figured out in my 20’s, but I didn’t. Then my 30’s went by and I was very busy raising children and putting food on the table. Then my 40’s went by and I didn’t do it, and here I sit, in my 50’s not really knowing what direction my life should go.

Yes, I do realize that is insanity, at an age where I should, by all accounts, wind down and enjoy my dotage, I feel like I am just getting started.

I had dinner last night with a woman that has found her calling in life. She is so passionate about it, when she began to speak about her passion she very literally lit up. She glowed from the inside out, I have to admit I was a little envious, not the green kind, but the kind that makes one reassess their own life and goals.

So here I sit, thinking about my future, trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. My one passion is Dean Cain, however, stalking him cannot be a full time job. Or can it?

I find I’m really apathetic about a lot lately, mainly the trajectory of my life. I am not passionate about anything, really, except words. I am passionate about words, they have power, the power to heal, the power to decimate someone, the power to organize, to save and they have the power to bring people together.

When I was 4 years old my grandpa taught me to read, he was exhausted from me begging him to read to me. So he did what he had to do, for his own peace. I can so clearly remember him sitting me down and teaching me, my grandmother came in and asked what he was doing. He told her he was teaching the baby how to read. She said he shouldn’t do that, she went on to say I was pretty and I didn’t need to know how to read. That men don’t like smart women, that is actually proving to be a true statement, for the most part. There are men who do like smart women, those are few and far between. It has been my experience, and it is limited, I admit that, the men I have met want women to be subservient, to be less than. It’s disheartening.

I digress, I am finding me, not me in other people, I could always write an advice column, I love telling people what to do. But then I would feel bad when it all imploded on them. I think I’ll not do the advice column, I’ll leave that to Dear Abby.

I believe that one’s passion comes from God, we hear it all of the time God given talents, abilities, so on and so on. I am still trying to figure out what gift or talent He gave me. I do believe He does give them to everyone, it is up to us to figure out what they are and how to use them.

Back to me, Vampire Slayer is out, I’m too old, those are usually 16 when they start. I’m not an Earp so demon killing is out, I’m not Cordelia so having the PTB speak to me through visions is a no go. Plus I really don’t want to be demonized, although visiting with Skip would have been awesome.

Any real thing I have a passion for has passed my by, I am going to have to really think about this. It is a conundrum, I would love some suggestions from others. What are you passions in life? Have you been able to realize those passions? Have you been able to make a living from them? Does it matter to you that you make a living from your passion? Is it something you do for free? The woman I had dinner with is altruistic with her passion. It is truly inspiring, the more I get to know her the more I like her. I am referring to BBFF’s GF, in case anyone didn’t get that.

I would love to hear from you out there, what are you passions and how do you use them.  You can leave a comment here or email me at angie@angieworld.com.

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