I went to see Spiderman Far From Home today, don’t worry I won’t spew any spoilers. I will say stay until the very very end. Oh and if you don’t think Tahiti is a magical place after seeing it, well, I don’t know if we can be friends anymore. (J/K, nerd humor)
I have always liked Peter Parker, he is just so, human, he thinks with his heart and is an incredibly vulnerable character. If you love Marvel and well superheroes in general, go see Peter Parker in action.
Ok, so, I like pedicures and manicures, a lot, I typically only get pedicures during sandal season. I tell you this as a preface to what comes next. The last two times I have gotten a pedicure the nail person has been male. Two different males, this is important to the story.
The first time I was a little taken aback, but ok, I can do this, he was really young, and kept trying to make eye contact and smiling. It was all very creepy, for me, I know he didn’t mean to be creepy, but it came off like that.
The second time it was an older man, I thought ok, this can’t be that bad. But it was and he kept asking why I have bruises on my calves, I am incredibly clumsy, I always have been. My mom would call me Accident Prone Angie, not in a mean way, she was right. Anyway I explain that I’m just clumsy, he says your man didn’t do this did he.
An image immediately flashed before my eyes of a man that was no taller than my knees beating my calves. I burst out laughing and said no man. The next time I go I am going to specifically ask for a woman nail tech for the pedicure. I just can’t do the male, call me sexist, it is just too creepy to have them rubbing my calves and saying you like.
I have been stalking, um looking at, Zachary Levi’s instagram, it makes me think he lives on a giant commune somewhere in Texas. I live in Texas, maybe I could find it and join, it looks like so much fun. They are all laughing, playing games, dancing, riding in a hot air balloon, I could totally fit in. Except the balloon thing, I am terrified of heights. I am still bereft after that Chuck ending, but I am healing. Listing to the Jeffster music I downloaded helps, I still want them to play a party or my fake wedding reception at my fake wedding to Dean Cain. I could totally hang with all of those people, they all look fun.
And here I am burying the lead, several people might be not happy with me, maybe a few won’t read this. My BBFF will read this, I know he reads me, as last week he called and yelled at me after a post. Yes he YELLED, over 20 years being friends and this is the first time he has raised his voice at me.
I have deleted myself off of the dating app game, I just can’t do this, I instablock every single man, for the most inane reasons. Head too big, block, no hair, block, too much hair, block, tell me the current inception of Star Trek is trash, block. Ok that one is legitimate. He needed to be blocked.
My frame of mind is just not right, I can’t do this, the thought of actually leaving the comfort of my home to go a date makes me cringe. Partly because no one can live up to my idea of what a man should be.
It’s ok if I blame Dean for this right? Or maybe my dad, or grandpa, they all have given me high ideas for what a man should be, do or say. Plus add all of my flaws and delusions of grandeur and well, that is just a recipe for either a Lifetime movie or a sitcom. So I deleted them and with them the last vestiges of any semblance of hope that I will not die alone and Fat Catstard will not eat my face.
As usual, any comments, questions or criticisms can be left here or sent to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.