Category: General

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Goals

This morning I put on a pair of capris that were too small last spring; I could not even fit my legs in them. I slipped them on today, and, well, verdict, they are a little too big, the waist is loose. How ‘bout that.

The 51st year of my life has not been that awesome so far, I have had a cyst on the top of my head, injured my arm and gave up coffee. My looks are fading fast, once 50 is gone, and now I am on the downside of life, I find my looks going. It’s sad, I can’t afford plastic surgery, however I can afford a hat with netting, for a mask, I don’t want to scare small children. I can only hope that when I die and go to heaven, I will be restored to when I was pretty. 17, I was really pretty at 17, I think that was the last time I was truly pretty. Having a hard life takes a toll on one; I have never had an easy life since birth. There was a period of about 5 years that life was genuinely not hard. I look back with fondness on that time.

My goal now is to be so skinny that people tell me I need to eat a sandwich, I have always had that goal, I have yet to achieve it. A work in progress, still, one would think after 51 years I would have achieved it, I am a slow worker. Takes time to get all of this fat off, I have about 100 more pounds to lose.

After giving up coffee for a total of 8 weeks, I know have coffee one day a week, I typically have it on Sundays, because that is the day that the Lord has made and I will enjoy His expression of love for me with coffee.

On the up side of things, the doctor was able to get the whole cyst out of my head without invasive surgery and my arm was fixable with visits to a sports medicine specialist and physical therapy.

I am quickly losing faith in humanity, Facebook has a lot to do with that, some things people say, all I can say is wow. It is one thing to spout ones opinion on things, however, I have always held to the belief that in order to have an opinion, one must read and do their research. If I had come to the dinner table spouting what some people do online my dad would have popped me in the mouth.

I am truly disheartened by humans these days, maybe we need an infusion of alien on earth, it couldn’t hurt and could help.

Everything I have seen on alien races (granted on television, movies and read in books) they appear to be enlightened, have conquered their emotions and war, hunger and disease is a thing of the past. Oh wait, no, that was Star Trek, ok, I would like us to accelerate to a future where we all just get along.  If we, as a human race could do that I would be extremely happy.

We are still fighting the same issues that have been fought over for hundreds of years; it’s old, very tiring and disturbing.

Right now I am watching a marathon of Reba, if only life were like a sitcom, where every problem could be worked out in 27 minutes. With a laugh track! That would be awesome; I would love to have a laugh track following me around. I am very funny and it would be nice to have that validated on a daily basis.

 

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What I Gave Up

So, on Facebook, where we all know the good information is at, I read a post from a fellow Owassoan that made me think. He said that he met a man who lives in Owasso now and the man corrected him on the pronunciation of Owasso. You see there are two ways to pronounce it, if you are from Owasso, it is Owassuh, if you are not, it is Owasso. There is a distinction, my fellow Owassoan let him know, you might live there but you are not from there.

He was right, even though I did not live there from birth, I am from there, I claim it as my hometown. I hope the natives don’t mind that I claim the city for my hometown; it is where I came of age, where I learned many life lessons and where I finally had real parents.

I talk a lot about what Owasso gave me, I don’t really talk about what I gave up to gain all of the friendships, knowledge, parents, church home and life lessons. I gave up living in a city I loved; I gave up being in the Orchestra, being on the basketball team, the volleyball team and track. I gave up my cousins, all of them; I gave up my grandmother and great Aunt Effie, my aunts and uncles.

I know what you are thinking; I could have had many of those things in Owasso, yes to the sports, no to the music. There was no orchestra in the Owasso school system; I was so depressed I didn’t want to entertain the thought of joining the band. Even though I could play the clarinet, having also been in band in the City. For the first year I was there I was seriously depressed, I had one friend, and everyone in the school had been together since kindergarten. For the first time in my life I was an outsider, looking in, not really belonging, my parents, God bless them, took me back to the City almost every weekend for the first year. Oh, BTW, the City is what all native Oklahomans call Oklahoma City. So for the first year I went back there almost every weekend, to see my grandmother and great Aunt Effie and reconnect with friends.

Then something happened, I was in the library, in the 9th grade and I saw one of my classmates, not someone I knew well, still only had one friend, Tammi, but I said hi. He said hi, then asked me what I was doing that weekend, (not because he liked me, he was making small talk) before I could open my mouth he looked at me disdainfully and said let me guess, going to the City. I just nodded; I didn’t know anyone knew my business. He then said the words I will never forget, you’re missing it, you’re missing everything there is to do here, you’re missing out on freindships and life. Owasso is fun and you are not part of it, but you could be if you would quit running back to the City every chance you get.

That stopped me cold, I had serious thinking to do, I made a decision, I stopped going to the City all the time, started going to football games and the Skate Ranch. I made friends; I became an Owassoan, second best decision ever.

I don’t regret what I gave up because I gained so much, I love being from a place that has heart, that takes care of it’s own and doesn’t let you go once you become one of them.

I am now reconnected with my cousins and could not be happier, I am still a City girl by birth but an Owassoan by choice.

 

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Finally, a Hug From God

I awoke to the most amazing sight, snow, wonderful fluffy snow, not to be fooled, underneath is pure ice, but the fluffy frosting is nothing short of a hug from God.

I am not the only one enamored of the white fluffiness that has enveloped us, Stormie is equally happy.

So this week is the last week of our challenge at IPT (Infinity Personal Training) and we all know what that means. Next week I can have coffee if I so choose to, there is the catch, if I choose to. I am a little scared, I have not had any for six weeks, I know I will have a reaction, the question is, will it be good or bad. I don’t want to go back to my pot a day habit; I do know that, I do believe I will continue to start my day with lemon water.

Right now I am drinking hot water with lemon (real lemons, not the fake “real” lemon juice they sell), local raw honey (I prefer Nature Nate’s, created and bottled in Frisco, TX) and since last week I have been adding a pinch of sea salt. I have to tell you that is amazing! I will continue this habit, it is just a great way to start the day, perhaps I will save coffee for the weekend. Not an every day thing, just a treat on Saturday and Sunday.

This challenge has shown me that I can do more than I thought and can change an old habit and create a new one. I feel stronger, more in control of my addictions, such as coffee and sugar, I overall feel better. I never thought I would say that I look forward to working out, but I do, I love going to IPT, I actually look forward to sweating! What is happening to me??? This is insanity, I may need help, someone check on that for me, is this some strange new disease?

This week the group challenge is 3000 reverse lunges; we will be doing 750 each as one of our teammates has a knee issue. Not a problem, we will get it done! I am 320 in and my goal for today is 300 more. Pray for me, my legs already hurt!

I discovered a new smoothie I am in love with, strawberries, dark chocolate, a teaspoon of honey, power greens, two scoops of protein powder and almond milk. I am in love, it is so amazingly good, I highly recommend it, it tastes like a chocolate strawberry shake. You have to try it!

 

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Discombobulated

I have a confession to make, I love yoga pants, before you judge me, I don’t wear them anywhere but to work out and at home. I gotta tell ya, these are the most comfortable things I have ever put on. I LOVE them; once again will NEVER wear them to the store or anywhere but to work out and at home.

As I sit here, watching Star Trek (J.J. Abrams version) I am reminded how much I love the character of Spock, and all of them. I know a lot of original fans of TOS (for those of you not in the know, that stands for The Original Series) they abhor this carnation of the universe that they are so fond of.

As for me, I take it for what it is, a version, someone else’s vision of what this would look like if something catastrophic happened. It is a different timeline, the personalities are there, however different happenings have shaped them and the trajectory of their lives. Please note though, they all come together, they are all still on board the Enterprise. Seeing it, seeing the two Spock’s is like wrapping ones self in a warm fuzzy blanket.

This entry will be filled with randomness as I am feeling discombobulated, I feel as if I have lost a friend, someone who gave me hope through out a rough middle childhood. So my thoughts are a bit scattered at the moment.

I lost an uncle last week,

While, as an adult, I didn’t know him that well, I will admit that, when I was very young he was one of my favorites and he is the father of my favorite male cousin. My uncle was the one who influenced the trajectory of my life when I made the decision to take my Aunt Odela (who became my mother) up on her offer to “visit” her and my Uncle Foy (who became my father) in Owasso. Please see that story here http://www.angieworld.com/2012/08/my-life-story-sorta/, I have a lot to thank him for as it was the single best decision that I ever made.

It gave me Owasso, it gave me the best friend a person could ever have, it gave me the best parents, the best church to grow up in, it gave me the most amazing children a person has ever been privileged enough to have. I owe a lot to that Uncle and I will be going to his memorial next weekend to say a proper thank you and goodbye to him. After all it’s only logical, sorry had to throw that in.

Last week I also had to go to the doctor, I had a cyst on the top of my head; yes you read that correctly. It was painful and disgusting, however the doctor was able to get the whole thing and I do not have to go to a surgeon. Now I have to go to a doctor for my hurting elbow, I don’t even know what is going on; I am supposed to be getting stronger, not falling apart!

 

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Live Long and Prosper

I was sitting at work, helping a customer, when news crawl on the bottom of the big screen at work came across with the words I did not expect to see. Leonard Nimoy was gone; the world lost the first logical character on television.

I was momentarily shocked; I gathered myself and continued on with my call, as that is what we do at the major telecommunications corporation. We put our emotions behind us while we do our jobs.

As I processed the news, and it began to really sink in, I felt lost and empty; Star Trek has been a big part of my life since I can remember. I first saw the show when I was 4 years old and fell in love.

It came to mean more to me over the years, from the time I was five until I was 12, my childhood was, how shall I put this, difficult. I don’t talk about it, because it is of the past, but it was this time period that television became a huge part of my life. Television, along with books became my escapism, I learned at an early age I could take myself outside of the chaos that was my life and go to other places.

Star Trek was especially wonderful, I could go to other planets, and it had a figure that was logical, Spock brought logic into my chaotic, unbalanced world. He made everything right, he was my touchstone, I could always rely on his character to be the center of morality and he made sense.

As I grew older, my love for Star Trek and the character Spock has only grown, I didn’t outgrow science fiction, I grew up in it.

Losing Leonard Nimoy is like losing an old friend, my heart is hurt, I wish I could have met him, to tell him what his portrayal of Spock meant to that little girl. How the character influenced my thought process, how he gave me calmness and logic in the midst of chaos and instability.

This day has been a rough one, but then God brought the snow and somehow that is comforting. Snow is the great equalizer; it will blanket everything and make the world beautiful. How fitting that should happen on the day we lose Spock to the great heavens in the sky.

One final time he is being beamed up, and we are all richer for his being on this earth for as long as he was.

LLAP

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Fruits of the Spirit

On Saturday, Valentines Day, our Ladies that Lunch gathered for our celebration of the day. We gathered at the Chocolate Angel in the Antique Mall in Plano, it is a lovely place with awesome food.

My friend Wanda gave us all Valentines gifts, she had gotten the Nine Fruits of the Spirit books, each book was a different gift. She wrapped them and gave them out, now, after wrapping them she didn’t know which person would get which book. As it turns out, as each of us opened our gifts, we all said, oh this is something I struggle with.

It’s funny how God always knows what we need when we need it, I know what you are wondering, which did I get. Well I got kindness, which is something I struggle with, as I have a naturally acerbic personality.

When someone says something I deem, well, stupid, I have a tendency to want to call him or her on it. I have to stop myself, when I was younger I didn’t always do that, with disastrous results.

As I grow, I don’t like the word older, hmmm how about more mature, I realize that the need to call people out on things they say is actually demeaning to the person saying it. There is no need to hurt people emotionally or verbally, we each have our own demons to deal with, no one needs me as another.

I will be going through the devotional and work on being kinder to my fellow humans.

I once went through a study of the Gifts of the Spirit, which is different than Fruits of the Spirit, I had three equal Gifts, Prophecy, Wisdom and Faith, sometimes I see them come out and I am awed because I know they are not from me, they are from Him.

I would urge everyone to find out their Gifts and Fruits, I have never engaged in a study of the Fruits, I would be interested to find out what mine are.

I know they are ever changing, Gifts and Fruits from God are not static, and they change, as He needs you to change. I know several that I have never been blessed with, patience has never been one of mine, I know that for a fact.

I can say Joy has been mine, I can say that with certainty, and Faithfulness, those two are a constant within me.

I would be interested to know if anyone out there has ever really thought about this and what you consider yours to be and if you struggle with something in particular.

I’ll sign off for now, I hope to hear from you all.

 

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No Snow

Well last week was it, the week of my birthday, I turned 51, yes, I said it, 51, what an interesting age this is. Especially shopping for clothes, they are either too old or too young; it is disheartening. Especially as I continue to lose weight, I want cute clothes, not old woman clothes.

I don’t want to dress dowdy, I want to wear cute, fitted jeans, I don’t want to wear loose clothing. I do like pajamas, however, I can’t wear those outside the house, which is one rule I will never break. Elizabeth Anne, take heed, never, ever let me leave the house in pajamas when I am senile. Make sure I have real clothes on.

I took the week off of work and it was glorious, I had a lot of lunches, I napped, I spent time with two of my children and Tessa.

I was never much of a nap person, until last week, I found them lovely, considering I was up early and working out the nap was awesome.

Speaking of working out, I have lost another 6 pounds and 8 inches overall, I continue to shrink and what is even better I continue to gain strength.

I did have cake, but that was on Valentines Day, at the Chocolate Angel, my good friend Wanda arranged a couples dinner and we were on the invite list.

It was so much fun, there were 7 couples and I only knew two of them, the others were so fun. They were engaging, witty and like me, they seemed like they had never met a stranger.

It was fun getting dressed up in one of my Tahari dresses and heels and having a wonderful meal with great conversation.

I also had a Friday the 13th last week; those are my favorite days as they are good luck days in my family.

The only thing that put a damper on my week was no snow; this year I did not get snow on my birthday. At first I felt neglected, it is after all how God shows me He loves me. At least that is what my mom always told me, snow is my friend, it comforts me, it turns everything drab and ugly into a glistening wonderful world. Filled with hushed silence and a weight that envelopes one, it simply speaks of love without saying a word.

I have to think that perhaps someone up North needed it more than I this year, maybe they were particularly lonely and needed the cool embrace that comes with snow. I’ll never know, I just shall pin my hopes on next year.

Well, I am off now, to more torture at Infinity Personal Training, where I sweat the weight away and get into zombie fighting shape.

 

 

 

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Personal Trainer Reflections

About 3 or 4 weeks ago Kellie Raspberry said something provocative on the air. It was during Love Letters to Kellie and it was a man writing in to say his wife had issues with him having a female workout buddy. She said not a good idea, while I agree with her on that point, it was the next one I disagreed with.
She went on to say a lot of personal trainers end up having affairs with their clients due to the close connection people feel while sweating together. Not her words, mine, I’m paraphrasing.
Her observations did lend insight to her divorce, however I took umbrage with the observation. I have 0 desire to fool around with any of my trainers due to the fact I see them as torturers rather than demigods.
Add that to the fact they are the same age as my children, well you have a recipe for rebellion on my part, as my fondest wish is to do nothing but sit at home, eat puffy Cheetos and get fat. I pay these people to help me get lean and healthy, which begs the question. If you are paying someone for a service and they provide a different service does that make them a hooker or gigalo?
I can understand what Kellie was saying, if you do have a trainer that comes to your home and you are working in a very intimate setting; And you are one on one. I can see where things would go awry. However still begs the question are you paying for more than one service?
I know my situation is different and it is not that intimate setting, it is with a minimum of 8 people and the trainer. But I gotta tell ya, even if it was one on one, I would still see that person as my torturer, add in the age factor and I am paying them. Well, never gonna happen.

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Happy Birthday Elizabeth Anne

Today is the day, the day my daughter was born, it is a day I will never forget. When we went to the hospital it was sunny and warm, we even went in shorts, in February! By the time she was born it was a raging snowstorm, it was a perfect way to have her.

So here we are, 26 years later and I have a few things to say to her:

Dear Elizabeth Anne,

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I began to pray, I prayed I would have a daughter. But more than that, I prayed for the kind of daughter I wanted, as I knew I would have you the rest of my life.

I prayed you would have long dark hair and big dark eyes, you see I have a picture of my great Aunt Linnie when she was about 4 years old and she had the most beautiful long dark hair and the biggest dark eyes. I wanted a daughter that looked just like that, God listens, you looked exactly like that picture when you were the same age.

I also began to pray for your personality and your core being, as I knew I wouldn’t be with you everywhere you went in life. I prayed you would be strong, physically and emotionally, I prayed you would be funny, smart and inventive in your thinking. I prayed you would be stubborn, just enough to where you would never be taken advantage of, I prayed you would be opinionated, but not so much that you wouldn’t listen to others opinions.

I prayed, that when you grew up you would know who God is and His son that He sent for us. I prayed for everything that you are and will become.

God does answer prayers, because I not only received what I asked for, I received more than I asked for. I was blessed with a daughter that at times made me want to run screaming for the hills because you were stubborn, opinionated and smart. I was blessed with a daughter that is caring and takes care of those around her, even if they don’t know you are doing it; I see it.

I see the way you care for your new bonus daughter, I see the way your care for your new husband and I see the way you care for your animals.

I also see the ways you take care of me, even if it means a new car payment for me (I had to throw that in, I hope you got credit for that sale BTW).

More than anything I see what an amazing woman you have grown to be, all of the traits I prayed for are there, you are strong, smart, funny and will find a way when others have given up.

I don’t know any other young woman that could actually help a cow give birth in the middle of a field in the dark and hang on until help came in the form of a neighbor boy.

Always remember, you are truly remarkable, you are the daughter I prayed for, you have everything I wanted and more.

I love you more today than the day you were born and I don’t even know how that is possible, it just is.

 

Love,

 

Mom

 

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Coffee Free

So I decided to give up coffee, we are having a challenge at the gym and part of that was developing a habit. I decided to develop the habit of not drinking coffee. If anyone knows me you know that is a huge commitment.
Elizabeth Anne asked if I had gotten a headache yet, I told her I was taking excedrin, she said that had more caffeine than coffee, I said no it doesn’t. And back and forth we went, no real winner declared. So I decided to do some research.
Excedrin for migraine has 65 mg, 8 ounces of coffee has 95, I was drinking 32 ounces every morning. Which equals 380 mg of caffeine a day.
I have cut back on caffeine intake from 380 to 65 milligrams a day. Not too shabby if you ask me.
I have replaced the coffee ritual with hot lemon and honey concoction. The hotness somewhat placates my senses.
This is for 6 weeks, I don’t know what will happen at the end of 6 weeks, I can’t promise I won’t go back to coffee. We are old friends after all, and it is not the caffeine I am giving up, it is coffee. The way I drink it is sinful. That is all I will say about that, no need to go into detail.
Next month is my birthday month, I have my birthday week off. I can’t wait! I am going to move my workouts to the morning so I can get them over with and not have to worry about it in the evenings.
Well, happy Thursday, remember it is a gateway day, this Thursday is the gateway to Elizabeth Anne’s birthday!