Coming to work early in the mornings the radio is my best friend. This morning I heard Strange Magic by Electric Light Orchestra. This made me incredibly happy, as I belted out the lyrics at the top of my lungs I reflected on my history with E.L.O.
Being an orchestra brat, loving string instruments this band was a revelation. They introduced me to a whole new way of playing. I didn’t know my bass could produce such sounds.
They had a bass that was painted purple and glittered. I wanted to paint mine so bad, however I was not allowed to.
Music feeds my soul, when I am down certain songs can lift me up, certain songs can reflect whatever I am feeling at the moment. I cannot imagine this world without music. The thought is too depressing.
It is a new week and a new opportunity to live life. I would say get out of your homes and see what’s out there, however, it is still hot as hades out there. So maybe you can do something meaningful indoors.
Happy Anniversary Mom
August 11, 2003, ten years, it’s been 10 years since my mom went home. I cannot believe it has been that long, in the grand scheme of things it is a relatively short amount of time.
I still miss her, I miss her wisdom, I miss her acceptance, I miss her heart and I miss her soul. Being around my mother made one want to be a better person, not because she demanded it, but because her innate goodness shone through, I have never met another person like her. I have met some that their hearts reminded me of my mother, but none that their souls reminded me of her.
My most favorite thing to do with her was just to sit; we would sit on the recliner couch and say nothing. Just hold hands, in silence, you could feel her stillness, the peace her soul had, and you wanted it. I have never been able to attain her level of peace, I don’t know anyone else who has had it either.
When I lost her, I lost my touchstone, I lost the last person on earth that loved me for me, not what I could do for them, I lost the one person on earth who never judged me and simply accepted who I am.
It’s a terrible thing to lose ones mother before they are ready, I wasn’t ready; I was still young and needed her. Even though I was an adult and a mother myself, I wasn’t ready; I didn’t want to be alone in life.
However, God had different ideas, He wanted her home, she was ready to go home, to be with her love, my dad. He passed 10 years before her and she was more than ready to go be with him, she missed him more than I was going to miss her.
It is impossible to talk about her without mentioning him; she had been in love with him since she was 5 years old. She would call him daddio; I loved hearing her say that. The way she said the word, it was filled with her love for him. Even after 59 years of marriage she would still look at him with unwavering adoration. That kind of love doesn’t come around often and not everyone gets to have it.
So mom, I hope you are enjoying the anniversary of your home coming, I still miss you all the time. However I look forward to being there with you one day, I can’t wait to tell you how you influenced me, in ways that I didn’t even know until I was older. I am still discovering things about myself even now, thank you for being my favorite mom.
Happy Birthday Michael
Well here we are, the day that brings me so many memories. The memories of the day are joyous, my heart still sings with the memory of Michael being born. Hearing his cry, holding him, counting his fingers and toes, looking at his beautiful face.
There is a scene in the Buffy episode The Body, where Buffy imagines what it would have been like if she had just gotten there in time. If her mother had lived.
I have those thoughts of Michael, what would he have been like as an adult. Knowing Jeffrey, Elizabeth and Alex, I believe I get a glimpse of what his humor would have been like. His demeanor, his looks, his closeness to his siblings.
I do wonder, would he have worked in the same field as his brothers or would he be more like me. Would he have gotten married and had children by now.
In an instant I imagine the what if, I think we all do it, we who are left behind.
I know where he is, I know my mom and grandma are taking care of him, taking my place until I can be his mother once more.
Spam Mail
On my J. O. B. we get a ton of spam email in our company mail. Instead of being frustrated or angry about it we choose to make jokes about it. Throughout the day one can hear hey if we give this guy our bank account information an African Prince will give us a million dollars. Or we can get a cheap car.
Yesterday we all relieved an email touting the ability to get an ex back. It made me think about my exes. I had to think hard, the only ones I could come up with was, well of course my ex-husband and boys from school days past.
I don’t have a lot of exes, so I did the only logical thing I could. I called the Irishman and informed him of the email and suggested we break up so I could see if the information in the missive would in fact get him back.
I was met with silence, as I usually am when I propose something off beat. After a few seconds he said um no, I said why not. He said since we had broken up once that we couldn’t do it again. I said I remember that time, you brought me ice cream. I like ice cream, he has not brought me ice cream since.
What is it with men that once they get you they don’t bring you ice cream? Or Taco Bueno. I would love it if someone surprised me with food. Not like liver or gravy or onions, but anything else yeah. Oh no lettuce either, that’s gross.
I would love it if the Irishman went back to wooing me with ice cream and candy, he used to bring me yellow starbursts because they are my favorite.
My Review of the New Mary Kay Product
Happy Monday everyone. Warning to BBFF this will be a skin care post.
As anyone who knows me knows that I have been using Mary Kay skin care products since Elizabeth Anne was 6 months old. She is now 24. I have exclusively used the products since then, I even used the shampoo and conditioner when they had that.
Well now they have a new product called Volu-Firm, I always try before I recommend.
I was very happy with the TimeWise skin care regimen, so I was a little hesitant to change. However, since it is Mary Kay and I love everything I threw caution to the wind, ordered it and began my journey.
Huge surprise, I love it! I can actually feel it working and tightening my skin. I feel like I look younger and my skin looks great.
I am going to post a picture, well two, side by side, me at 17 and (gulp) me now at 49. Yes I said it, 49, I usually don’t admit my age, but I happen to think I look pretty good. I’ll let you be the judge.
Life
With the passing of Kidd Kraddick I am thinking a lot about what my life says about who I am. There is nothing more difficult than looking at yourself and seeing who you really are.
Kidd touched so many lives, leaving a legacy of do what you love, help others while doing it. I am searching for what I really love, I have two things in my life that I genuinely love doing, I don’t get paid for either and I don’t know how to get paid doing them. Quitting my job to do them full time is not a viable option.
So I am left to ponder and pray, I want so much to find my purpose in life. What am I supposed to be doing? What does God want me to do?
I don’t really know what I’m good at, I have asked others what they think I’m good at, no one seems to have a suggestion. Apparently I am not good at anything, so I guess an unfulfilled life will continue. I feel restless, I know I need to do something, I need to be still and listen to God. I need to take my own advice.
Women
Ok, so, on Facebook, where we all get our information these days, someone posted a picture of a billboard. It read, “Monica Lewinsky’s ex-Boyfriend’s Wife For President!” The person who posted it thought it was funny. I do not. Before you get entrenched in politics, I am going to go on the record as saying I am not a fan of Hillary Clintons politics. I am however a woman, and on that has been cheated on and I don’t find this kind of demeaning sign funny.
Let me tell you why, as women we should be protecting each other, lifting each other up and only wanting good things for each other. Hillary did not deserve the very public humiliation she received from this time in her life. To constantly bring it up and throw it in her face every chance we get not only denigrates her accomplishments as a woman, it denigrates all of us. What we are saying by posting these types of things is we thing she deserved what she got. I do not believe any woman deserves what happened to her, she was very publicly humiliated, she chose to stay with her husband, and I hope she made him pay for his horrible choices.
As a society, as women, we have chosen to make her pay for what her husband did, and constantly remind her of it.
Why, as women, are we doing that? It is unconscionable; we really should be a sisterhood. Why are we not? Why do we look at another woman’s misery and insist on adding to it? If you disagree with her politics, her opinions, her actions, then blast her for those, not what her husband did to her.
This type of continued need women have to belittle each other, to knock each other down a peg or two, appalls me. Why? Is Anthony Weiner’s wife going to be subjected to this type of denigration? By other women?
One more reason I love Mary Kay, you don’t find this type of thing happening within our ranks. You find it in corporate America, a lot, in my J.O.B. there is a woman who is hell bent on ruining every woman in the office.
She needs Jesus, although I have found that a lot of the women who claim to have Jesus have this inane need to tear other women down.
Stop it, just stop, stop stepping out with men, who are taken, stop putting down women that have been cheated on, stop gossiping about your sisters. Instead lend a helping hand, reach out to each other, when you see a woman down, no matter the cause, lend an ear, a shoulder or hand.
It costs nothing to lift up a woman in need; you gain everything, self-worth, gratitude, and an eternal friend. We all need friends, we all need each other, this world was not designed for us to walk alone in it. And I do not mean in a romantic way, it takes a village, it means more than raising children, it takes a village for us all to survive. We must depend upon one another for survival, we all have different gifts, we all have different talents, I can do something someone else can’t and vice versa.
So when you see those types of things, no matter how tempted you are to laugh, remember, if you are willing to laugh at someone else’s misery, the person posting will probably laugh at yours.
God Speed Good and Faithful Servant
Keep looking up, cause that’s where it all is; those are the words that ended the morning show I listen to 5 days a week since 1994. That is when I started listening to Kidd Kraddick in the morning; I was there for bath time with Caroline, and yes the creepy version bath time with Kellie.
I have had the pleasure of calling in several times over the years and once my daughter; Elizabeth Anne called into the show. To rat me out for letting her eat popsicles for breakfast. I wonder if she remembers that. I was mortified.
When my children were young, during the school/work week, television wasn’t allowed during the morning rush, it was Kidd and crew that started our mornings.
I could always count on him to not say anything that I would find hard to explain, or anything inappropriate when the kids weren’t in school. As a matter of fact, there were times Kellie would say school rule when things looked like they were going a different direction and Kidd would save whatever it was until after school bells rang.
I could always count on them to make me laugh, to make me cry, to inform and entertain me. He has always made my work mornings enjoyable, bearable and on Fridays he started the weekend off right with Flush the Format.
Elizabeth called me last night and said had I heard, I had not, I ran to the computer to see if it was just a horrible hoax or the truth. This man, who seemed like a part of our family for so long was gone, it was true. Kidd had gone to be with God, and yes I fully believe he did go there, he lived his life as an example of how a Christian should be. Giving selflessly to children and their families that needed a break, to forget they were ill, broken and tired. Over the years I have listened to the Kidd’s kids stories, been moved to give, moved to tears and moved to action.
I know it sounds strange to say a DJ, that I have never met in person (I have met Kellie) was like a member of our family, however that is what he was good at. Coming into our homes, cars and workplace, comforting, relating and informing, he was never brash, always soothing and even while doing does that make me crazy he never made anyone feel less than. That my friends is a gift, to get people to tell the crazy things they do in secret and make them feel normal about it.
My heart goes out to his daughter and to his ex-wife; even after divorce he said not one bad thing about the mother of his child. That is a real man, on air he said she was the best thing that ever happened to him and just because their marriage didn’t last forever, their relationship would.
I will miss you an inordinate amount Kidd Kraddick, you gave so much of yourself that I believe you wore your heart out here on earth. I am positive God said to you well done and welcome home. I know you are there with the mother and father you missed so much after their passing.
My prayers are with your family and your radio family.
Irritated
As most of you know nothing gets me riled up like infidelity, there is now something going around on Facebook (where we all know is where I get my information) about how devoted Brad Pitt is to Angelina Jolie. I’m sorry; these two sicken me, if he was such a wonderful man, then where was the devotion to his actual wife?
However, according to Pat Robertson it was acceptable for Brad Pitt to cheat on his wife because he is good looking. Angelina Jolie has been quoted as saying that she cannot wait to show her children Mr. and Mrs. Smith because that is the film that shows their parents falling in love. Hmmm, wasn’t Brad Pitt married to Jennifer Aniston at that point and time? Didn’t Jennifer Anniston visit Brad on the set of that movie? Yes to both, it also means that Jolie met Jennifer, knew Brad was married and went after him like a tornado goes after Oklahoma.
I have been the victim of a woman seeing what I had and going after it with a vengeance. See, want, take, that is the philosophy of these women, don’t think you are safe from that kind of vicious attack. If someone perceives your life as something they want, and they have no morals, they will take it.
I don’t want to even see a film that these two are in anymore, that is how much they sicken me. Before you go off on some tangent about how brave Jolie is having a mastectomy, please know that the test she took and the surgeries she had, the normal, average woman in this country and many other, could never afford. EVER.
Much less the plastic surgery afterwards to replace her breasts, I don’t believe there was anything brave about what she did. She is wealthy and privileged; she can make these choices, where we cannot.
I will continue to not see their movies; I will continue to be sickened by the very public, poor treatment of Pitt’s first wife. The way they continue to want to slap her in the face every chance they get. Especially Angelina Jolie, you won, ok, you got the man, I hope it is worth an eternity in hell for you. What God has joined together let no man, or woman put asunder. Those words are there for a reason; God so hated infidelity it is mentioned twice in the top ten. Do not commit adultery and do not covet what is your neighbors. This is it people, don’t think these two are romantic; the couple that was so romantic to me were my parents and grandparents. They stayed together during the dust bowl, during the depression and they worked together, through good times, bad times, sickness and in health. That is what romance is, not cheating and stealing.
My Mary Kay Exerience
I have arrived back home after being at Mary Kay Seminar for three days, first off I have to say the Hyatt in Downtown Dallas was absolutely wonderful to us. From the people that made sure I was kept in coffee to the ones that made sure we had enough towels in our room, you made sure we were taken care of and spoiled. Love you.
Walking into the arena was difficult, this was the last place I spent a significant amount of time with my friend Sandi. I managed to keep it together until the Awards ceremony, you see this is what she and I loved together, she would call and ask what I was wearing and most years I would keep her guessing. Then when I walked out in what I had chosen she would say well, Angela Barsi, and I knew I had chosen well. Then she and I would ohhhh and awwww over the fabulous gowns and beautiful shoes, pointing out what would look good on the other. It was hard, and I was happy I had left off the mascara. After a complete meltdown I was then able to enjoy the show, looking at the beautiful gowns and fabulous shoes, thinking which ones would look good on me and which ones Sandi commandeered for herself in Heaven. Because if anyone can, trust me, it’s Sandi.
I learned a lot, some very exciting products are coming out; I can’t wait to share them all with everyone. Especially the new Clearproof line, it is specially formulated for our customers who battle acne. It is awesome, they have tested the products on people who battle this issue and the results were nothing short of amazing. An overused word, I know, but apt here.
I attended an incredibly fun White party, where everyone wore white and boogied to some really great old school music. My music, Earth Wind and Fire, The Commodores, and the list goes on.
I found out my wonderful Mary Kay sisters had nominated me for our unit’s Miss Go Give. It is the highest honor one can be recognized for in Mary Kay. I am humbled beyond belief; to be thought of in this way by my peers is extraordinary.
Angie World 