I am going back to my very first love, ever, yes I am talking about television. Television has always been there for me, pacifying me, entertaining me and yes educating me. My earliest memories include television, the first time I fell in love with a boy band, The Jackson Five on American Bandstand, the first time I learned about space travel, Star Trek, the first time I realized what I wanted to be when I grew up, thank you Elizabeth Montgomery.
This season is not disappointing, first up Ringer, this show not only brings back Sarah Michelle Gellar, it brings her back in a strong female role. Which she carries off beautifully, I have missed Buffy sorely and this show is filling a void. I love it, it has so many twists and turns you really have to pay attention to keep up.
Next up is Revenge, a simple premise really, exacting revenge on the ones that have done you harm in your life, it is something we, as humans crave. However, we rarely get the satisfaction of witnessing. This girl is taking vengeance on everyone that harmed her and her father. It is fantastical to watch, the high tech gimmicks mixed with the human emotions are a perfect blend.
American Horror Story is absolutely amazing, well written, well acted and just plain old fashioned spooky. For those of you who like the supernatural, the unexplained and well just like being scared; this is the show for you. I will not go into details, just watch! I love this show; it is my guilty pleasure this season. I didn’t think I would like it, but I love Connie Britton and wanted my fix as Friday Night Lights is null and void.
I love television, I always have, and I suspect I always will, I am not one of those people that pretend I am above television. At times it has been my touchstone, my friend my one constant in my life. I hope I will always have it.
Someone is Watching
How does one let go of anger? That is the question of the day, I find myself so angry lately, it is not healthy. I have to learn to let certain things go, and I am having issues doing so.
When people think they are never going to be caught they do things that if they thought they would be held accountable they would never think of doing. I firmly believe that when I die, not only is God going to hold me accountable but I will also have to answer to my mom and dad and grandparents. I am more worried about what my mom will say to me than God. I have to be honest about that. It keeps me from doing a lot of things I should not do, but want to do. Some people should be grateful for that.
For the people who have nothing to keep them in check, no belief system, well they are the ones that do the horrible things. They have no remorse, no guilt, no conscience, they have no morals.
I am not talking about people who do things then are repentant, they have spoken to God, answered for whatever it is, and are moving on. Those are not the ones this is about, this is about the people who contentiously do the wrong thing. The hurtful thing, the thing they think they wont get caught doing. Someone is watching, no, not big brother, but someone. I believe in a higher power, I do believe that eventually what you do catches up with you and you do pay a hefty price for your actions. Which is why I try not to purposefully do anything that is going to get me the mom look when I do see my mother again. I also do not want my dad shaking his head at me, that was always so harsh. For me. As for my grandpa and grandma and great-aunt Effie, I do not want the first words they say to me to be “What were you thinking? We raised you better than that.” If you are doing something that you know to be the wrong thing, and you think no one is watching, think again. Someone will always find out. It is better to stop, drop and roll. I use that because you are playing with fire and are about to get burned. Not by me, I don’t have the energy for that, my energy is being directed toward something more positive these days. Oh look, my anger is gone, wow, this is cathartic. Happy Monday everyone!
Cowboy Justice
Cowboy justice, only in America does that term apply, it brings images of men on horses with rifles. But in reality cowboy justice was swift, it asked no questions and in almost all instances ended with the perpetrator dying.
There was no talk of appeals, no talk of innocent until proven guilty, they knew who was guilty and meted out punishment. Some people today are appalled by that type of justice, how could we as human beings do something so barbaric? The barbaric gene is alive and well in humanity. We see it every day in most cultures, it has even stayed with us, one of the more civilized societies on the planet. Does its existence hamper us or does it enable us to continue on as a society?
The death penalty for example is seen by many as barbaric, however, I am a supporter of the death penalty. I fully believe an eye for an eye justice, I do not believe that all people can be rehabilitated. If that makes me barbaric then so be it. I am here to tell you right now that if someone hurt one of my children or my grandchildren I would be on them like a duck on a June bug. I am happy to be living in a state that still has the death penalty for such people.
And speaking of barbaric, wouldn’t it be more barbaric to allow such people to live and have access to more victims? If you are civilized, why would you want the uncivilized among you? And if that part of society ever wins out, then I propose that we have two camps, you all can have the murderers and the rapist, we will take the barbarians.
Whale or Mermaid
What I am about to say is going to offend people, and well frankly, I don’t care. There is a picture of a plus size model who is naked going around on Facebook and other networking sites with the story of a woman who goes on and on about wanting to be a whale instead of a mermaid. Well, I don’t want to see that fat naked woman, yes, I said it, fat and naked. I can see that when I look in the mirror, that is why I choose not to look in the mirror when I have no clothes on. I don’t want to be a whale, nor do I want to be a mermaid. What I would like to be is a fit, healthy woman, who fits comfortably in a size 4. I don’t care how hated that makes me, I don’t care that I offend people. I am not going to embrace being fat, it is not healthy to have fat surrounding your heart, lungs, kidneys or other organs in your body. To call yourself curvy, a real woman (yes I am sick of that one, simply because I am not a size 16 does not make me unreal) or whatever euphemism is out there does not make you healthy. I battle with weight constantly and have since I hit puberty, I have friends who battle it, however I do not see them embracing being unhealthy, they are all concerned about their health. I do something to battle my weight issues, I am currently incorporating the Weight Watcher lifestyle into my eating habits. It works, I have said it before and I will say it again, if you have issues of that nature, there is an app for that. There are even free ones, MyFitnessPal is a good one.
I really don’t care to see the whale story anymore, nor do I want to see the fat naked plus sized model again. I am not a whale, I am not a mermaid, I am simply a woman trying to live a long, healthy life, the way my grandmother did. I want to see my grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and many greats after that.
Changes
There are some days that writing is a tough prospect, not because I have nothing to say, quite the opposite, I have too much to say. So much that cannot be said in a public forum, it would be bad form to do so. So silently I sit, my fingers unable to tell the tale.
So on to things I can talk about, United Way fund raising is going great, we are well towards our goal. If anyone is interested in purchasing a jersey please let me know, I will get you the information. Also, if you are interested in donating raffle items I would also greatly appreciate it and it is a tax write off!
I am thinking of changing jobs, not companies mind you, but jobs, I find that I am really needing a change. I would love to go back to clerical work, not a clerk, because they make no money. However I would love to be an assistant to an executive. I know I would be good at it, I am very good at organizing and delegating, two important traits. I am also very good at not being intimidated by titles, therefore no one would get through without being on the schedule. Another plus, I have all the right clothes for it, I have this amazing BCBG black pencil skirt that would be perfect office attire, paired with a simple white blouse and my red Carlos Santana pumps, well, perfection. I think I will put that on my resume.
Ok folks, tons to do today, I will chat with you all later, oh best news EVER, Detroit won their division, so the Rangers play here Saturday, which means, TESSA time! Woo Hoo! Oh, how could I forget this is also OU/Texas weekend, GO SOONERS!
At Long Last, New Boot Day
Today is Wednesday and once again I have started New Boot Wednesday, I am very excited about this. I have rockin boots on, with a cute skirt, I am ready for fall. If I dress for fall and winter it will come, I am convinced. I hate the heat, I long for the cold and wet and above all else snow. I long for snow, I know my emotional state would go back to normal if it snowed. I am very fragile right now, the least thing makes me cry. I am beginning to hate commercials and I really hate sappy shows right now.
Last night was Ringer, on the CW, and let me tell you, Sarah Michelle Gellar is outstanding, this role is perfect for her. I suggest everyone watch it, we are three episodes in and I am sold on it. I love this time of year, you get so much bang for your buck, it is boot season, the weather is cooler and we finally have new television shows and new episodes of returning shows. I cannot wait for Bones to come back on, that is one of my favorites. It is so good to see so many Whedon alumni’s on the air this season. Best of luck to all of them.
I hope everyone has a great new boot day, a good Wednesday and a fantastic Hump day!
More Angie and the Irishman
I always said I would never marry again, the first marriage traumatized me so much, I didn’t trust anyone, not men, not women, no one. It took a long time for me to even date, I divorced in 1993 and the Irishman was the first man I had seriously dated since. There had been dates, but nothing that lasted beyond a 2nd or 3rd date. No, he was the first serious contender. And to be honest, I never really thought of marriage to him. I was happy dating, I thought we were committed, why ruin it.
Actually I never thought about it, not even with a why ruin it, I would tease about running away to Vegas to our co-workers because that was fun to see the looks on their faces. But I was never serious. He asked several times, over the years, in text message, on twitter once, and once in a facebook game.
Then came our two year anniversary, he took me to eat at my favorite restaurant, Mexican of course, then off to see TSO in concert. I had on a great outfit, with amazing shoes. He kept acting squirrely all night, saying things like, two years is a long time, and we have been dating a while. I would say yes, it is and we have. Then after the concert, in the parking garage, in his car, he took the ring box out of his jacket pocket and said oh there’s one more thing, will you marry me. I took the ring and stared at it for a long time, and then told him I was going to say yes, but wanted him to know it would be a long engagement. Years in fact. He said he understood. Said I made him the happiest man on earth that I was the love of his life, the one he was meant to be with. His destiny.
So here we are almost two years later, I am still engaged to the Irishman, I still don’t know about getting married. We live together, we have a tentative date of this New Years Eve, however if it happens it won’t be a wedding, it will be us getting married and having a party later to celebrate with our friends and family.
A Good Start to a Bad Month
Today I participated in the MK5K, it was for the Mary Kay Foundation that provides money for cancer research to cure cancer in women, and also to fight against domestic violence. I walked in memory of my friend Sandi. This month marks the first anniversary of her passing. I still cannot believe she is gone, after a 20 year battle with breast cancer. I still say she won in the end, she fought a courageous battle, with dignity and grace. I can only hope if something happens to me I will behave in the same manner. I still miss her every day, I cried for about half of the walk, such a huge part of my life is missing. She was my rock, my cheerleader, my mentor, my life coach, and simply a friend.
This month also marks the anniversary of my son’s passing, on the date it will be 27 years, I still miss him as well. I look at my remaining children and think, which one would he look like? He and Elizabeth looked so much alike, but then Jeffrey and Michael looked so much alike, when Tess was born she looked exactly like Michael, it literally took my breath away. It was almost like God gave him back to us in her.
October is a hard month, this year is harder than last, for so many reasons, I am searching for something positive in my life. I have a fantastic daughter, Elizabeth, who amazes every day with her humor, her beauty, her brains and her very existence. Plus she is the only one of my children who reads this, so she gets extra brownie points. I wish I had more to be positive about, I am normally a positive person, I enjoy being positive. I have never let anything get me down for too long, so I hope this apathy passes soon.
Today was positive, it was exactly what I needed to take myself outside, well me, and not think about anything, just walk. I finished the 5K in 58 minutes, not too bad for no training, and me being an old woman. I am kinda proud of that. I am also proud that I could contribute some funds to the Mary Kay foundation. Every dollar helps.
Weight Loss Journey
I began my quest to lose weight in May of 2011, so far I have lost 26 pounds, I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, or like it was a fast loss, but being only 5’4″ every pound shows up. Some weeks have been easy and the weight has fallen off, others have been fraught with temptations, and yes I have fallen. There was my bout with fried chicken, disaster, I however have not fallen off the wagon for my old nemesis sugar. I have had no sour skittles, no candy at all, I have found skinny cows to replace that bad habit. But above all I stuck to the Weight Watchers plan, I counted every single thing that went into my mouth. The point system really does work, it is not always easy, but it is simple. I am not done, not by a long shot, I would love to be a size 4, I have said that before, I will keep saying it. I am not big boned, the term some people use to excuse their weight. I have tiny hands and tiny feet, I need the rest of me to match. I am still following the Weight Watchers plan and I am still losing weight. I encourage everyone that is having difficulty controlling their eating habits to just start keeping track of what you eat. I was amazed at how truly badly I was eating. I don’t think we realize how bad our habits are until we keep track of them. If I am going out to eat in the evening, I plan my days accordingly, eating mostly fruit during the day so I can indulge in the evening.
I probably would have lost weight faster had I exercised, but I have to tell you I hate exercising, however I know I must begin, I do not want to be flabby skinny. I want to be toned and in order to achieve that I must be active. So active I will become.
I hope everyone out there that is on a journey of their own finds success.
A Proud Paris Hilton Reject
So, I heard that someone called me a Paris Hilton reject, so of course I start to analyze that. I am not sure if that is a compliment, because seriously I would not want to be accepted by Paris Hilton, or an insult. And was I called that because I do not carry around a small dog in my Coach purse? Or is it because I am not rail thin (I’m working on it!) or is it because I cannot afford the designers she wears? Believe me when I tell you even when I become rail thin I will never wear outfits short enough to show my undergarments. That is, well, icky, especially for a woman of my advanced age. Oh, could it be that Paris would reject me due to my age? Alas I fear I will never know, however, I do know this, I am flattered to be rejected by Paris Hilton.
On an unrelated topic I am running out of clothes to wear, all but two pairs of jeans are too big, I have one pair of Ralph Lauren khaki pants and one pair of slacks I got from Victoria’s Secret that fit. I do have a ton of skirts I have not tried, however, working United Way fund raisers are not conducive to skirt wearing, lots of heavy lifting and food deliveries. I don’t want to buy new jeans until I am done losing. Ugh! Issues, I have them, in abundance! If anyone has any size 8 jeans they are done with, give me a call. I know I really want to lose about 40 more pounds, not sure what size that will be, but right now I am a solid size 8. Very happy about that! I look amazing! Looking at me you would never be able to tell I gave birth to 5 babies, 4 C-sections. It is crazy, God must really love me in this area of my life, because goodness knows nothing else goes the way I think it should.
Last night the Irishman and I saw Moneyball, we all know I have a deep obsession with sports movies, this movie delivers. Brad Pitt was greatness, Jonah Hill outdid himself, I wish I could hate Brad Pitt and boycott his movies, but I cannot bring myself to do it. I do find I have no issues boycotting Angelina Jolie movies, I blame her in the whole mess, I find I have a tendency to blame the women involved in cheating more than the men, except when the men lie to the woman and tells them they are single when in fact they are not. However, when a woman knowingly enters into a relationship with a man that she knows is in a committed relationship with someone else, well the woman can say no. Good grief just Nancy Regan it people! Have some dignity!
Well I am going to take my Paris Hilton rejected self and do United Way work today! I hope everyone has a great and productive day!
Angie World 