Angie World

As a parent we never stop worrying about our children, even when they are adults and make their own decisions. We do our best as parents to instill in them the confidence to make their decisions, to steer their lives their way. There comes a time when every parent has to let go.
There is one thing I want my children to always remember, all of them, no matter what, no matter what amount of time passes, how old they become or where they land in life. I will always have their backs, every single time. I will always be in their corner, whether they need a cheer leader, a champion or silent approval, I will always be that person in their lives.
When I became an adult and went into the work world I was shocked to find that everyone didn’t love their parents the way that I did. But then again, not everyone had the same kind of parents I was fortunate enough to have. I can only pray that my children feel about me the way I felt about my parents.
I always knew my mom was in my corner, my dad as well, but his was never silent cornering, his was sometimes loud disapproval of my choices and loud directives to what I should be doing. It was all done with love, I have nothing bad to say about that kind of parenting. However, I strive daily to be more like my mom, if I am just a third as good as she was, then I will have accomplished something.
So I say this to you, always remember I am here, I am never going to judge you, I will always love you and I will always be in your corner.

Rhetoric:  the undue use of exaggeration. Get used to it folks, we are in for a rocky year, this election year is going to be brutal. All gloves are off, people are just nasty, and I am not talking about the politicians.

Facebook is already filling with memes depicting each side as ignorant and evil. As usual I will not be expounding my side here or on Facebook. I refuse to be drawn into pointless arguments. Anyone who knows me well will know who I will be casting my vote for.

I am really tired of a lot of things lately, wait, tired is the wrong word, disgusted, that’s the word. I am disgusted that police officers are being hunted like animals and shot down, I am disgusted that people think guns are the problem. People, mental illness and the media, those are the problems.

I am disgusted by parents not taking responsibility for their actions, leaving small children alone so they can drink or do drugs. It’s called adoption people, look into it, give your children to people who want them and will take care of them in an appropriate manner. I am a huge advocate of adoption, being that I was adopted myself.

I am disgusted by the ignorance of our history, people spout random thoughts like they are facts. They are not, read a book, better yet, read a history book, read several, not just one, get several different accounts of the same event. Somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I read, on the internet, of course, that the rest of the world doesn’t view our Revolutionary War the same way we do. The article suggested it wasn’t that important. Stupid, stupid author, of course our Revolutionary War is not that important to different countries. It’s OUR Revolutionary War, our break for freedom, not theirs, I read it and thought how ignorant does one have to be to just throw something together and it lands on Yahoo news as gospel. Then I realized that was a stupid thought as almost every story on Yahoo news is inane and stupid. I did the only thing I could, I quickly and quietly closed my browser.

Ignorance is invading our society at an alarming rate, I have to be honest, I am terrified for the future of our nation, no, the world. I am terrified for the future of our world, I am however not terrified for my own future. I know what happens to me when I die and I am good with it. More than good with it, you see I will be going to Heaven. However, while I am here, I am commanded to help where I can and have been taught since I was a child to take a stand, make a difference.

I shall continue to take a stand for what I believe is right, having said that, I do believe I shall become controversial for a moment.

Why have we not defunded Planned Parenthood already? Those videos are disturbing, and another thing, it is a life at conception, it is not just a cluster of cells, and they are pulling out babies from the womb! BABIES. Call them what they are, they are not fetuses, they are babies. I was an unplanned pregnancy, so happy abortion wasn’t readily available when my birth mother became pregnant. Perhaps some of you should be as thankful, you are here to spread rhetoric around like it is truth.

So, last night we gathered to say farewell and good luck to Andrew, he was my very first trainer at IPT (Infinity Personal Training). He has always been there with an encouraging word and urging me to work harder and making me laugh when I felt like throwing in the towel during a workout.

Even when he wasn’t training the class he would come by with a high five or a looking good Angie, keep it up. I am going to miss his enthusiastic encouragements and his spontaneous dance moves. I understand the reason for leaving, he is going on the adventure of a lifetime, he is going to the country of his mothers’ origin, to live and work for 6 to nine months maybe longer. He is fortunate as he is getting to share the adventure with his sister. I can hardly wait to see what he does and see his take on the culture and the differences between here and there. Why yes, I will be Facebook stalking his adventure!

I am on day three of a 4-day weekend, and it is amazing, I have achieved nothing I wanted to, I have been almost completely lazy and I don’t care. I have no regrets. None.

This is my third day in a row to have coffee, I have no regrets about that either, after tomorrow the coffee maker will go up until the next weekend, when it will come out for two days then back up.

This will be a short entry as I do need to finish laundry and do some things around here and then go to the grocery store.

Today is the start of my much awaited 4-day weekend, I am so incredibly happy and thankful it is here. I go back to a normal Monday through Friday next week, with Monday being off for the holiday of course.

I worked Sundays so I could have Fridays off during the summer to spend with Tess, I did get to spend quite a few with her. So grateful to her dad and her mother for allowing her to spend time with me, it is a privilege not a right and I understand that.

School is in session now and we go back to our normal schedule, with me picking her up on her dads’ Fridays. I love being able to do that, it is always so much fun when she runs out to the car and gets in and says GiGi I love you!

I am sitting here having coffee, which I do on the weekends, yes, I am still on that, I have found it makes it special. Plus, added bonus, since I don’t have caffeine coursing through my veins the way I used to, I can actually feel the effects. Sometimes I can hear the colors, it’s awesome.

My new fitness goal is well under way, I am back to losing and toning, I stepped off of the curb for a minute, but I am back on the right path. The other day I made my famous lemon pepper chicken and had salads all week. I had a kale salad as big as my head!

I have unexplained bruises all over my legs, so I had the Irishman google it, he refused to read the number one cause, and went to the second. And it made sense:

Vitamin Deficiency- If the body lacks in the nutrients necessary to build tissue properly, the tissue can become worn and more susceptible to injury. Deficiencies in vitamin B12, C or K can lead to poorly formed tissue. Women are more likely to experience these deficiencies than men, especially when they are dieting. As the body loses the excess fat, the thin tissue becomes more exposed and easier to injury.

So I am trying to get more of those vitamins into my body naturally with fewer supplements, I have a hard time eating a lot, I know that seems strange give how huge I am. However, when you don’t eat enough your body hangs onto weight as it is scared you will starve it. My body is slowly starting to trust me now that I am feeding it and giving it physical activity.

I hope you all have a great Labor Day weekend, enjoy your friends and family and remember what the day is all about, it is to celebrate the laborers who built this great nation.

I have a couple of things I want to get out of my brain and writing them down is the only way to do that. So, forewarning, if you drive a minivan or are a person that posts things about “thick” girls being the only real women, you might want to find other reading material.

First off, minivan drivers, seriously, when you bought this vehicle did they tell you to stop driving like a rational human? This morning I was boxed in by three of you! Three! Seemingly your gas pedals refused to work, it was a 5:30 am catastrophe in the making. Do minivans even come with gas pedals? I know they come with brakes, because you all kept riding yours! Since it was all three of you I can only assume all minivan drivers behave in the same fashion. If this does not describe you, please do not take offense, as I am really angry and frustrated with the three this morning and taking it out on all minivan drivers.

Let’s move on shall we, for the past few weeks my Facebook feed has been filled with meme’s regarding “thick” women. Some stating they were the “real” women, that men should get a clue and not go for skinny women only thick women are real. What was the one that pushed me over the edge you might ask, I’m glad you did. It said, and I quote “They ride harder, Cuddle Better, Prettier and Sexier, Thick Girls Rule, Get Yourself 1 Today!” I did not add the exclamation point, that was there.

I wanted to respond with seriously, how do you know? I have a daughter that is tiny, I want to be tiny. All of this talk about being thick and loving the body you are in, it’s unhealthy. Eat real food, real food consists of organic, naturally grown vegetables and fruit, grass fed meat, a treat once in a while. Nothing processed, get some physical exercise in, healthy is not fat, I know this because I have battled it all of my life.

I have never once said oh I’m a thick girl so I am better than everyone, no, I have said I am unhealthy at this weight and it needs to come off. I love Maria Kang for one simple reason, she is real, you want to see a “real” woman, take a look at her. She practices what she preaches, she is honest in telling her story and how she has battled weight and eating disorders and finally getting healthy.

Other real women I know, my friend Gladys, she works hard, she inspires me to work hard and be the best I can physically. My daughter, Elizabeth Anne, inspires me daily, she is also my biggest encourager, and she agrees with most of my rants. The women I work out with at IPT, none of them are perfect, but they are like me, trying to be better physically, I like to think we encourage each other. They inspire me to do more, to lift heavier and go further, love them.

So instead of posting the things that encourage women to stay unhealthy, perhaps we could start a new trend and start posting meme’s that say things like, eat broccoli instead of the pizza.

Whew, that felt good, remember, whatever negative thing you want to say to me, this is MY page and MY opinion. It is called Angie World for a reason.

I have a lot to say, some of it will not be said here, in a public forum, that being said, anything I say here is my opinion, my thoughts and my musings.

I have been thinking a lot lately about my dad, usually it’s my mom that is on my mind this time of year, but lately its been my dad. I have been thinking about his sense of humor lately, he had a ready smile, a quick wit and he shared both with the world.

I remember one time our pastor was on the receiving end of my dads humor. One Sunday, in the late 1970’s early 1980’s, I don’t recall the exact year, he was preaching on lust. His main focus was the television shows, how they could make a man think lustful thoughts. Well, the next day, my mom and dad, another man in the congregation and the preacher were going to a funeral. They all decided to ride together, so my mom and dad went to Brother Stevens house, my dad got in front, my mom in the back of the car.

They stopped and picked up the preacher and my dad was moving to the back of the car to sit with my mom. The preacher jokingly said, oh you don’t trust me with your wife. My dad looks at him and says not after yesterdays sermon. To which everyone had a good laugh. I do believe the preacher even told that story at my dads funeral.

My dad had a warm, wonderful smile and a huge laugh, he used to tell me it was better to laugh than to cry. He was right, I rarely cry, but I do laugh, often, when I think it is something my dad would have enjoyed I see his smile.

My dad taught me so much, life isn’t that serious, love the Lord with your whole heart, find the humor in everyday life and laugh. Laugh often, laughter bonds a family more effectively than tears ever did.

Here we are in August, a truly bitter-sweet month for me, Michael’s birthday was August 9th, and the anniversary of my mom going home to be with her daddio was August 11th. This year it hit me that I have no one in my life that remembers Michael and I have few people left who remember my mom. Wait, let me amend that I have one in my life that remembers both, my BFF Tammi, she is the one I went to this year for remembrance.

Grief is a funny thing, it can hit you when you least expect it, and it can linger for years, we never fully “get over” losing someone precious. The grief is always there, the pain doesn’t lessen, it just becomes bearable, a way of life.

When I lost Michael I was told, by a member of my family no less, that I was being punished for things I had done in my youth. for a long time I bought into that, as I was only 20 when he passed away. I know better now, I know he was taken by no fault of mine, by no fault of his babysitter, God did not take him to punish me or because He needed an angel. We do not become angels when we die, we are saints, let’s all try to remember that. He died from something they still know very little about, SIDS, he was healthy, perfect and amazing, and a freak thing took him.

My mom is another story entirely, she lived an incredible life, until Alzheimer’s robbed her of her memories, her life and her dignity, it is a horrible disease I would not wish on my worst enemy.

My mom was an amazing woman, there are things about her I bet people who knew her don’t know. Everyone knows she was kind, gentle, a staunch prayer warrior and an amazing woman, she was also a published author. She wanted to be a school teacher, however during the depression there was no money for college, especially for a girl, if anyone got to go to college in those days it was the boys. because they had potential to earn money for the family.

She was so smart, wickedly funny and loyal, loyalty is highly underrated these days, but in her day it was a virtue, she epitomized that trait. If you were lucky enough to be her friend, you were her friend for life. if you were fortunate enough to be adopted by her, well, you were her daughter for life.

I’ll never forget her last words to me, she told me I had been the most pleasant of surprises, I know she meant in life. I’ll always be grateful for her example to me, what it is to be a mom, a woman, a friend and a Christian. I celebrate her, I mourn her, I miss her, but most of all I look forward to seeing her again and telling her how much I love her.

If you are reading this and you have a memory of my mom that stands out, I would love to hear about it, please feel free to comment here or on Facebook.

As my mothers’ birthday approaches, July 30, she has been on my mind a lot lately. I didn’t get to have my mother as long as most people my age, I didn’t get her until I was 13, I was fortunate to have had her.

She was perfect, I know what you are thinking, everyone thinks that about their mothers, well, no, they don’t. I learned that in the world, people speak horribly about their mothers, not all, but a lot. Mine was perfect, she was one of those rare souls that you instantly felt at ease with, just being in her presence made you a better person. I miss her calm strength, her genuinely kind spirit, I miss hearing her whistle, I miss her sense of humor, but what I miss most is having that one person in your life that accepts you for who you are. I miss her prayers for me, no one prays for you like your mother, and I sorely miss that.

After my divorce, after my dad passed away, I was visiting her, sitting next to her, holding her hand and I was a failure. My life was in shambles, nothing was going my way and I seemed to make mistake after mistake. I asked her how she became so perfect, the question startled her, she looked at me and said “Angie, I am nowhere near perfect, we all sin, we all come short of the Glory of God, that is the beauty of Jesus, by accepting him we can be in God’s presence.” I sighed, not the answer I was looking for, so I pressed on. I told her that I didn’t believe she had ever made a mistake in her life.

She said she made mistakes all the time, I told her it would make me feel better if she told me one of these, she said ok. We sat there, sat there, and sat there, finally after about 5 minutes she said, well alright when I was 5 years old. I stopped her, I said you had to go back 75 years (she was 80 at the time) to find a mistake, a time you weren’t perfect? I can go back 75 minutes and tell you something. She looked at me and said do you want to hear this or not. Well, yes, of course I did!

So she told me, I wish I could tell you, it’s a great story, but she swore me to secrecy, she did something at the age of 5 that changed her life forever. She said that since what she did (and it was her actions) didn’t cause the catastrophe she thought it was going to and God answered her prayer; she decided right then and there to be as Christ like as she humanly could.

Can you imagine having something happen at the age of 5 that changes your entire trajectory in life? She was perfect, she was an amazing woman that took in an unruly child and gave her a chance at life, at a good life. She was my favorite mom (I can say this because she wasn’t my first mom), she was the one that truly gave me life.

I know, I missed it, I missed writing on Alex’s birthday, so I shall make up for it today, only 5 days later, but better late than never.

Dear Thomas Alexander Graham Bell (I shall leave off the last name),

The day you were born was a great day, you were the perfect addition to our family. We were so happy and excited to welcome you into the world the nurses in the delivery room thought you were our first baby. They said that they had never seen parents welcoming their third child into the world so excited. They said usually by that time they were almost blasé about the whole process.

We were not, you had to go through a lot of obstacles to get into the world and after the shock wore off that you were indeed going to be joining our family, we were incredibly joyous.

Believe it or not, even your sister was happy to have you in the family, she nicknamed you Mr. Sunshine face, due to the fact that you woke up happy every day. A definite first for someone born into our family!

Every accomplishment that you achieve, I want you to know how proud of you I truly am, you are an amazing human, a great son and I love you beyond words.

Anything I could put here pales in comparison to how I feel about having you as a son, you were the perfect one to stop with. You rounded out our family with your smile, your zest for life and your huge heart.

So, Happy Birthday son, I love you more than words can say!

Love,

Mom