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Whirlwind

It has been a long week, I am enjoying being in a new environment, I miss walking into my other building and seeing everyone, hopefully they will be able to join us after we are done with training.

I actually got to sit with someone who I used to sit by in my other job; it was good to see all of the tools and what they do. I hope we start learning those soon, they looked interesting and a more in-depth look at the line than what we had access to.

Yesterday I did get to pick up Tess, not at school of course, at her Great-Grandmother and Great-Grandfather’s house. We had a good talk on the way to my house, we talked about two creepy dolls that she has, she is convinced they can open doors. I remember thinking a few of mine could do that at her age as well, she was cracking me up with her description of how she thought they could preform such a feat.

We decided to have our weekend gathering to Sunday, it is Mother’s Day after all, a cookout is in order. Alex is out of town; he has already called me twice to tell me where he was on his drive and to let me know he arrived safely. I do not care how old they are, a mom always wants to know her children are safe.

Today I am taking Tess shopping for new spring and summer clothes, I love doing it, she hates shopping. I seriously do not understand this; I guess she inherited her dad’s attitude towards that activity. I told her after shopping we could do something fun, she loves going to Old McDonald’s (her name for the much maligned fast-food place) and another place that I will not name as there are not that many and well people are crazy.

I don’t know which she will choose, but we will have fun no matter the place, that being said, I am off to get ready for our day of fun. I hope everyone has a great day, a wonderful weekend and a fantastic Mother’s Day!

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Strange Occurrence

Something unsettling has happened, I don’t even know how to express to everyone how truly strange and unnerving it is. Recently I have begun noticing that I am drinking less coffee, I hope you were sitting when you read that tidbit. I was not trying, it has happened naturally, I am drinking so much less that I told the Irishman that he should only make half a pot instead of a whole pot. I think he almost fainted, I explained that recently coffee is being wasted, that is a sin, so he should try making me half a pot. I don’t like wasting things; this morning is my first day with half a pot.

I don’t know what is happening to me, the whole thing has me a little rattled, I don’t know the meaning, without so much coffee will my life have meaning? Will I continue to hear color? So many questions, so few answers.

In other news, training is going well, we are not beginning our hardcore training until next week as we are waiting on some people coming from California. We did get to sit with some agents who are doing the same job we are being trained for and I am really excited to begin the training to learn the new tools. The meat of the job is the same, helping people who have had continuous issues to get it fixed once and for all. Find out why the issues have been ongoing and to assure them we do care and want to help. It’s not a line, I really do want these people fixed, I can feel their frustration coming from the other end of the line. I understand their frustrations as well, when things I am paying for doesn’t work I just want it fixed, not excuses.

I had lunch with Alex on Sunday, he is going out of town and will not be here for Mother’s Day, he told me that thanks to me he is well versed in weird television shows. I said example please, he said Buffy, Angel, I said hey, those are not weird shows they are classics. And Angel was a total guy show, he said mom Angel was eye candy for women, I said David Boreanaz is an incredible actor to which he replied I wouldn’t go that far. He did agree he was good though, which mollified me somewhat.

During training I don’t know how much I will be writing, training tends to be intense and by the time I get home I just want to go to sleep. Or unwind with really great television, not weird television, really anything Joss Whedon.

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Funeral Planning

Am I really the only one that wonders what people will say at their funeral? I wonder that a lot, what words will be spoken when I am gone? What stories will be told of my life?

I asked the Irishman last night what he would say at my funeral, he said he would not be able to speak at all, as he would be too upset. Then he said he didn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t like to think about death. I think about it all the time, one of my hobbies is planning my funeral. You have to prepare for these things, I have been to a lot of funerals and you cannot leave things to the living.

If you want something done, then you have to do it yourself, why would you leave your final act up to someone else to plan? I would not do that; you never know what people are going to do with you.

I am not one of those people that say things like oh just put me in a pine box and throw me in a ditch. Yes, I have actually heard people say that, horrifying, why would you want that? A funeral is actually for the people left, a chance for them to have closure, to say goodbye and see you later. It is their opportunity to reflect and be happy that you’re free, free of earthly constraints, free of aches and pains, free of heartache. You have made it, you are going home, this is a celebration!

I do wonder though, what will my children say about me? What will Tessa say? Will Elizabeth tell stories of my clumsiness? Will Jeffrey tell about the time I took him to a Rangers game? Will Alex talk about our lunches? Will Tess tell about the times I took her to the park or Old McDonalds? Will they know how much I loved them? That they were my entire world?

A funeral is not for the empty shell left behind, so plan well my friends, this is your last opportunity to plan a great party that will allow the people you leave behind an opportunity to say goodbye. To begin their life without you in it, a pine box and a ditch is not comforting. It is ridiculous to say things like that, and thoughtless to the ones left planning it, do your own planning.

If you plan your own funeral it takes all of the guess work out of it for the ones left, they don’t have to make decisions, they can just reflect, smile, laugh and cry without the stress of picking out a casket, songs they think you would like and a service. If you do this for them you lift a burden from their shoulders, it is your final gift to the ones left behind.

It is not only my hobby planning my own funeral; it is my final gift to my children and granddaughter. I am taking everything out of their hands so they are stress free and can actually begin their grieving process unburdened by decision-making.

So, what would you say about me at my funeral?

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Hopping

Today is officially my last Thursday posing as Friday event. I was offered a job in another department and I start Monday. It will be a 5-day workweek, I don’t know if I will know how to behave in that situation, however I shall figure it out.

I am incredibly grateful for my new opportunity within the major telecommunications corporation I am employed with. It was an unexpected offer, however a welcome one nonetheless. I packed my desk yesterday; it is a very bittersweet circumstance. I truly enjoy the people I work with; they are all different, with different personalities, quirks and temperaments. The one consistent thing with them all is their helpful attitudes; I am so fortunate to have worked with this group for so long. Twenty-four of us are going to the new job, so happy to be going with so many familiar faces. So sad to be leaving so many, I pray the rest can find jobs as well; they are all in my daily prayers.

When the layoff announcement came, they told us 43 people would have to go, we were stunned, shocked, dismayed and a depression settled in the office. With people finding jobs and with the unfortunate passing of one of us, that number is down to 11. The one of us that passed, he would be happy that he saved one person because that is the kind of person he was.

From 43 to 11, that is huge, the mood in the office is now one of hope not despair, I see people smiling and laughing more. We are grateful for our new opportunities and hopeful for the ones left in the office that they too will be able to find employment within the company.

I have to say here, now, our Chief Steward came through, he has worked tirelessly in the pursuit of opportunities for our people. I am beyond impressed with his dedication in this endeavor; it is what is going to keep me a union member. I also have to give huge kudos to our 2nd level manager; he also worked tirelessly helping to make this happen. I have to be honest here, I didn’t really pay attention to his mood, but when I saw, after the 24 people were told of their opportunity he looks lighter. I didn’t realize what a toll this had taken on him; I am impressed (it is a word being given a work out here, however it fits) with his caring, I am sorry I didn’t see it before.

I will begin my new adventure on Monday, learning new things, helping a whole new set of customers getting to know new people and even seeing old friends.

Before anyone thinks, wow how lucky, no, it was not luck, it was God, pure and simple. There were a lot of prayers going up for the people in that office, I am still praying that they can pull 11 more jobs out of the hat.

On a different note I am revisiting a segment I call Does That Make My Dog Crazy. Last night I come home and found the Irishman and Stormie are playing chase. Stormie actually hops, yes, hops, like the dogs in the old cartoons. I tried to get this on video, but she knows when she is being recorded! She stopped doing it! Then she and I began to play hide and seek, this is our favorite game. She will chase me to the kitchen, I will hide behind a wall, she goes to the other side, I slide around out of her view, she then runs around. I slide, she runs, then she will become very quiet, I will peek out and she is there and she jumps for joy because she won that round of hide and seek! What a joy she is, she definitely keeps our household, well, hopping.

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Change

I have to give a huge shout out to the Irishman, I came home yesterday to some laundry being done, all the trash was taken out, the lawn mowed and the kitchen spotless. I think he doesn’t think I see all of that but I do and the stress it alleviates is great. Thank you Irishman!

Yesterday was interesting, full of surprises that I am not at liberty to say right now in this format. I do believe it is a good thing, at first I wasn’t positive, but now I am. Sometimes we run towards change with outstretched arms, welcoming whatever the wind blows in, other times change is thrust upon us. This change is being thrust upon me, I firmly believe that God is in control, and I believe this change came from Him. Pushing me in a direction that He wants me to go, I am curious to see where it will take me. So far I have not been let down by change, at times it has been difficult, at times it has been overwhelming, but in the long run it has never been bad.

There are so many things going through my mind right now, I will save them for a different time. This is a short post, more to come later.

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Busy, Busy, Busy

This has been a very busy, fun filled weekend indeed; I hardly know where to start. Let’s start with Friday, Tessa’s class was singing for the school Friday afternoon, so off I went. She did so good, I am so proud of her, she actually had a big part and she just got out there, in front of everyone and sang her little heart out.

There was no Friday night dinner, as the Irishman’s girls had a dance review happening. Instead we decided to make it Saturday, the Irishman had chosen the menu, only fair he should be there to partake.

Saturday, Tessa’s class was preforming for the Onion Festival, so off we go to that, we were all there, she did beautifully once again. This time in front of more people, she did not inherit the shy gene.

Then it was lunch, steak, corn on the cob, grilled asparagus and Caesar salad, we got a new grill. Jeffrey put together the grill, Jeffrey also cooked the steaks, he seasoned them perfectly. Everything was so good, Tessa got to play with the girls, we all got to eat. Good food, good conversation, fun times with Jeffrey, Elizabeth, Alex and the rest.

I am exhausted from all the prep work; shopping and cleaning up, I do believe today will be spent relaxing. By relaxing I do mean doing laundry, I need to get caught up today is the day.

Tomorrow is another fun filled day at work; I am hoping to hear good news, like more co-workers got new jobs. So far 7 people that I know of have been offered new jobs. That makes me happy and hopeful for the rest that are affected by this round of layoffs. Make no mistake, my job is not safe, the rest of us will be gone by November. I am actively looking for a job within the company; think good thoughts for me people.

I am thinking good thoughts for all of those that are under the gun so to speak right now. The majority are good people and good workers, I am not going to name names, there is one that I do not have an ounce of pity for. He/She has treated his/her co-workers horribly, so much so that if anyone there does not like them on a personal level.

Sometimes you cannot like how someone does business, and still like him or her on a personal level. This person is not to be trusted with anything, it’s sad really, when you think about it. We are all on this earth for such a short amount of time, 110 years really isn’t that much in the grand scheme of things. Why make everyone around you miserable just for your own enjoyment? That is the question I find myself asking, with no answer in sight.

Oh well, I hope everyone has a great day and keep looking up cause that’s where it all is! (Yes, I quoted Kidd Kraddick)

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Words

Today Shanon Jay said something thought provoking on Facebook; she said, “Words are Free. It’s how you use them, that may cost You.” In this age of social media saturation people have taken up the habit of saying whatever pops into their heads. It is the norm now not to stop and think before spewing forth whatever is there, in the forefront of ones cranial pia mater.

Once words are out there, especially on the World Wide Web, they are difficult, if not impossible to take back. It may seem like the thing to do at the time to give a pithy response or comment, later, when one looks back, they may cringe at what they put out there.

Use your words wisely, you can use them to tear down a person or you can use them to build someone up. Everyday is a struggle for me, I am a grammar and spelling fanatic, I so want to correct everything I see in Facebook. I don’t, because to do so would hurt someone, someone who was expressing themselves on perhaps a deeper level than they are used to, I would be shutting them down.

I have increasingly become uncomfortable with sites like people of Wal-Mart and other sites posting things meant to be funny, when they are in reality hurtful to the ones that get photographed unknowingly for the amusement of others. Perhaps it is my old age; perhaps it is a maturation of my inner being. I don’t know, I just know that once hurtful things are out there, it is impossible to take them back, whether they are words or pictures. Be careful of what you put out there, use your words wisely; the person you are about to blast with a thoughtless comment could be on a serious downward spiral. Your words could be the breaking point; one never knows what affect they have on a stranger.

I would like to see one day of kindness, where no one posts anything hurtful, where no one says anything without thinking first. Say it out loud to yourself, if someone said it to you would it hurt your feelings? If the answer is yes, don’t say it, if you are thick skinned like me, say it again to yourself, things rarely hurt my feelings. I have to really think about the things I say because of that, I have become cognizant of the power of my words in my later life.

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Losing Dean

Ok, so, this has to be a hoax, I just read on the Internet, that cannot be trusted, that Dean Cain is married! And it’s not to me!!! How can this be? How can Dean Cain be married and it not be me?

Pesky reality facts do not matter here; I am seriously wounded if this is true. Yes, I know, he has never met me, the likelihood of him meeting me are zero, however, this does not lesson my fantasy pain.

Oh, and yes, I do realize I am engaged to a real life man, like I said, details are irrelevant in this situation. I am wounded to my core! What am I supposed to do with this gossip?

You know it’s a sad, sad day when one cannot open a browser and see bad news. I fully believed he would be eternally single; waiting on me, the one, he would never meet.

I shall never recover from this betrayal of my fake boyfriend, like EVER. I have turned on my internal dialogue with a valley girl accent, yes, it is that bad. Superman has left the building, no, the planet, never to be seen again.

I shall mourn our fake relationship with all of the attention it deserves. And while I know the below photo is not Dean, it is Superman. Let us all take a moment to mourn the married state of Superman.

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First Freewill Baptist Church of Owasso

Watching the Andy Griffith show this morning reminded me of the church I grew up in, The First Freewill Baptist Church of Owasso. Now it is called Rejoice Freewill Baptist Church of Owasso, or maybe they took the Freewill out of the title, I’m not sure.
I know someone who has put down the church recently, saying they didn’t learn anything there. I found that shocking as I learned so many life lessons in the church in Owasso.
I learned humility, they practice feet washing, something I believe has been lost, I remember when I was a teenager and the feet washing ceremony was going to happen. In my snotiest voice I told my mother there was no way I was doing that, it was disgusting. My mother looked at me, raised her eyebrows and said “Angie, do you think you are better than Jesus Christ himself?” I said no ma’am, she said Jesus himself washed his disciples feet, how could I put myself above Christ. It drove the point home, we are no better than the other, I happily participated after that.
I learned giving from Al and Grace Wemberly, they were not native Owassoans. They moved to Owasso when Brother Al retired. I never found out what he did or how they came to choose Owasso. I’m simply blessed that they did. They were couponers before it was all the rage. However, they would add up how much they had saved and put that money in a jar. In late May they would bring the money to the church and tell them to use it to pay for a child to go to church camp that could not afford to go otherwise. I was the recipient of their generosity one year, as my parents were retired and their budget did not allow for that. I never knew we had a budget by the way, as I had everything I ever needed. The designer clothes and shoes I wanted, my parents told me to get a job and work for those, it was a good lesson.
I gained knowledge of other religions and learned Catholicism was a different denomination not a different religion thanks to Caroline Hall. She worked at the Christian Bookstore in Tulsa and insisted we study other thoughts and beliefs so we could better understand why we believed the way we did. It was a revelation to read about other religions in the world, she told us that to understand how someone believes is to respect them. When you respect someone they are more open to listen to how you believe and respect you in turn.
I learned that what I put into my mind was just as important as what I put into my body. In a class taught by Ed and Fleeta Sunday, as a young adult, they led a class on the importance of filling your mind full of good things as opposed to worldly things. Your thought process is shaped by what you put into your mind. If you only fill it with negative and unclean things what will your view of the world be like? It changed the way I choose my reading material to this day.
The First Freewill Baptist Church shaped who I would become. From Leonard Pirtle’s sermons, filled with life lessons laced with humor, to watching adults serve others, to  Sunday School teachers that cared enough to go beyond the surface lessons. I am fortunate indeed to have grown up in that place, in that time.
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Growth

Yesterday was Miss Jan’s birthday, I didn’t post yesterday, so I will take today to tell you all about this incredible woman. She is everything I wish I were, tall, thin, elegant, blonde and beyond nice. She is a good friend; she stood with me during my divorce and bitter custody battle when most friends fell by the wayside. I cannot begin to thank you enough Miss Jan. I don’t have the proper words to express how grateful I am that you are my friend. I hope your day was as incredible as you are!

 

This past weekend was good, really good; I was off Thursday so off to record with Shanon Jay I went. It was an awesome session, if you did not get to hear Saturday’s show you can do so now. Simply go to www.convosate.com, you can check out the latest one. It is very personal for me; I talk about a miracle that happened within my own family. My cousin Laura was the recipient of a great gift from God, well worth a listen.

Friday was getting Tessa from school, meeting Elizabeth Anne at the AT&T store; she has defected from Apple products. She purchased the new Samsung Galaxy 5 I believe is what it is. She said she loves it.

Then Friday night dinner, I am beginning to feel like the Gilmore’s, except without the maid and cook. Oh wait, that’s me. We had fried okra, corn on the cob, pork chops, mashed potatoes and homemade bread. Everyone seemed to enjoy it heartily, well worth the effort and time put into it.

Saturday was Ladies that Lunch, love those days and seeing everyone, we were a sparse group this time, but fun was had as always.

Sunday was Captain America, but you knew that, rain, love the rain, I wish it would rain every day.

Did you ever have someone say something that was so wrong that you wanted to respond, but since it was in a public forum you metaphorically bit your tongue? That happens to me a lot, especially with Facebook and Twitter, I read things that are so erroneous, or so outrageously well, the only word I have is stupid that I want to respond. However, once something is on the Internet, it is there forever, that is something people don’t seem to understand. I suggest thinking before posting, I try my best to think before posting, even here, where it is my page, but once again folks it is on the internet, it is forever. So I didn’t respond yesterday when someone said something that was not correct, and was a little, ok a lot, condescending and completely snotty. I chose to ignore it and move on, a few years ago, I don’t believe I would have done so. This is called growth and it is painful.