Tag: parenting

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Parental Hypocrisy

Parenting hypocrisy, let’s all think about that for a moment, it is at a monumental high right now. There is a woman in the news who was filmed disciplining her teenage son, whom she caught in the midst of the Baltimore riots, throwing rocks at the police. She did what I would have done, what my mother would have done and what any woman I grew up surrounded by would have done. She marched into the midst of the riots grabbed her son and began to beat the daylights out of him.

She is being hailed as the mother of the century, I would simply call her a mom, a mom who has raised her children with discipline and expects better of them. Here is where the hypocrisy comes in, most parents of today, in America, don’t believe in corporal discipline. Spanking is barbaric, there are better ways, reason with your child, talk to them, allow them to make their own choices.

I don’t understand that, at all, hopefully, my children know, without a shadow of doubt, if I saw them doing what that young man was doing, I would do exactly as that mom did. Discipline transcends skin color, what was that, I’ll say again, discipline transcends skin color. I have often said there is only one race, the human race, we might have different ethnicities, different skin tones and raised in different parts of the earth, but we are all human. If you truly believe what the bible says, we all are created by God, we all come from Adam and Eve.

To think, we are being ripped apart as a society by what can be found in a child’s crayon box, color, we cannot change what happened in our country’s history. However, we can change our future, we can be better than our ancestors were, we can all work together to create a stronger country.

The in-fighting needs to stop, I know I am white, about as white as one can get being of Viking, German and Irish descent, however I am also about as American as one can get. Some of my people have been here since the 1600’s, the rest arrived in the 1700’s, therefore I shall voice my opinion on this country and what is going on in it today.

Today, that is the operative word, today, not yesterday, not in a past century, today, we are a diverse nation. The most diverse on the planet earth, we should be celebrating the fact that we are truly a melting pot, healing our wounds and coming together.

Our future generations might look back on this time in our history and be as horrified as the majority of us in this generation are when we look back at things that happened in the past. We need to learn from the mistakes of our forefathers, we need to learn from their successes as well.

Be a parent, raise your children with discipline, that does not mean raise them with cruelty and abuse, but teach them right from wrong. When you see them on the streets doing things they did not learn in your household, be a parent and grab them and take them home. Before they, themselves end up a statistic, that goes for parents of all skin colors, of all ethnicities. Don’t be a parental hypocrite, saying this mom is mom of the year, when you, yourself do not discipline your children.

 

 

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Opportunity

So the weekend has come to a close again, it is with a hopeful attitude that I face Monday. I am always hopeful for a good week, and it will be a good week, Wednesday Tessa will be graduating Kindergarten. I cannot believe how time is flying by; it seems like yesterday she was learning to walk. Now she is running, running toward adventures and learning, she is so smart and funny and beautiful. I hope she keeps her sense of adventure and fun while discovering her part of the world.
I am so proud of my son and the kind of father he is with her, attentive and gentle, disciplinarian when he needs to be. Teaching her consequences in regards to her actions.
The other day I was having a conversation with this man at work that I swear we are related, we think so much alike. We were conversing on parenting, he said parenting takes two things, time and energy and of these the greatest is energy. If you don’t have the energy to teach your children right from wrong, to discipline when they need to be disciplined then you have no business being a parent.
I agree, parenting does take an abundant amount of energy, you are on 24 x 7, there are no off days whatsoever. Everyday brings a new lesson, a new adventure, and a new opportunity to be better.
I still am a parent even though my children are grown, I really only have one that asks my opinion regarding what is going on in his life. One who just wants me to listen and one that doesn’t want me to try and resolve their issues; just be there. I can do that, I am happy to be the kind of parent each one needs at this point. My job is not done; it will not be done until I leave this plane of existence.
I hope everyone has a great week ahead, I hope you all take advantage of whatever opportunity God puts into your path.

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Surprise

A few weeks back I bought an armoire, I ordered it online so when it arrived it had to be put together, I waited and waited. Three weeks, the Irishman never put it together, well he had Friday off, I asked him to do it then since he wasn’t doing anything else. I called on my way home and asked if he had put it together he said “well I moved it from the front entryway”. Needless to say I was not happy, all the way home I fumed, I thought “seriously, three weeks, he can’t find time in 3 weeks.”
I got home and sure enough it was out of the front entryway, he then said come here I want to show you something. I thought uh huh. I walked into the bedroom and there it was, my armoire! He had put it together!! I was so happy!
And he is alive, I believe that says it all.
Today I have done nothing but hung out in my bedroom, organizing the new armoire and watching Gilmore Girls. I love that show, I think I always will. I think anyone who watches it wishes they had a mother/daughter relationship like Lorelai and Rory had. The quick wits, the coffee addictions, the ability to eat whatever they wanted. A perfect relationship. But real life isn’t like the Gilmore Girls, teen pregnancy usually doesn’t end so well, with the daughter going to a private high school and then off to Yale.
Single parenting period isn’t like it was portrayed on the show, it is way harder, with financial struggles and emotional turmoil. Am I doing a good enough job? Am I doing the right thing?
You have to be able to discipline your children, to make sure they are under control and not screaming like wild animals when they don’t get their own way. Of course you must have the ability to be an adult and put your own needs on the back-burner and the needs of your children first. You have to make sure all the laundry is done and children have clean clothes to wear. You have to be able to get up on time and make sure your children are at school on time. Those are the simple things that have to be done. If one cannot do those things, then how do they handle the bigger things? These are things that people should be pondering, should be considering when deciding the become a parent.
On the upside of the weekend, I have an armoire and am enjoying it.

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More Parenting Rant

Now that I have gotten on the subject of parenting I can’t seem to let it go! well here goes another rant, I have been told over the years that I am lucky that I have good kids. Luck? Luck had nothing to do with my children and how they behaved and continue to behave. It was by hard work, discipline and raising them in church. Yes I fully believe raising them in church had a huge part of how they turned out.
I remember one time, when Elizabeth Anne was about 2, before Alex was born, we were in Wal-Mart and she was just sitting in the cart, calm, no issues and I saw a woman from church. This woman had a child about a month older than Elizabeth that was out of control, running up and down the aisle, pulling things off the shelf, she was saying, “now honey” ugh. She looked up and saw us, and she said how do you do that? I said, do what, she said get her to just sit there. I looked her straight in the eye and said healthy fear. Elizabeth Anne, even at that age knew there would be consequences to running up and down the aisle and behaving badly. This woman allowed her child to rule her home and there were never consequences to any actions.
Sure there have been rebellions over the years, however when you set clear-cut rules, with clear-cut consequences for actions, and follow through, there will be fewer of those outbreaks.
I actually had a child correct me once, not my child mind you, in my own home! I was so shocked that a child would correct an adult. I looked at that 7-year-old and said never do that again. This is my home, you never correct an adult, you might be able to do that in your home with your mother, but never with me. Shocking that this child was so casual in her correcting. I was honestly floored.
Same child was allowed to run wild in public, I put an end to that when she was with me, she was running wild in the mall and I told her that if she continued I was going to march her to security and call her mother to come and get her. The look on her face was priceless, no adult in her life had ever taken her to task before. Same child no longer behaves that way in my presence. It was crazy.
When I hear horror stories of some people’s children I think, it is true, what you sow you so shall reap. If you sow the seeds of discipline issues, of disrespect, of passiveness, of godlessness, then when these children are older you will reap that. If you sow the seeds of respectfullness, an ability to speak their mind without being rude, if you sow the seeds of faithfulness, of showing them the love of God, the holy spirit, Jesus, then when they are older they will return to that if they do turn away for a while.
If you let your children know there are real consequences for their actions, you are preparing them for the world, preparing them for the workplace, for life. If you do not, you are preparing them for a life of discontent. Your choice, will you choose wisely?

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Scattered Thoughts

I sit here staring at the whiteness of it all, the blank page, the nemesis of anyone who considers themselves a writer. While I know I am not a writer in terms of being published, you must admit I am prolific in my attempts at being a writer.

This morning there is a lot on my mind, maybe too many things to choose from, do I write about the dream I had last night? I was with the cast of The Walking Dead only it wasn’t a show, it was real and we were all living in a school and I had Tessa with me. We had to stay in the classrooms in the middle during the night and not turn on any lights as it attracts the zombies. Or do I write about my feelings of inadequacies at being a parent? So many conflicting emotions are warring within me at the point in time.  I continually question every decision I have ever made since becoming a parent. Did I do it all the right way? Did I really do the best I possibly could? So many questions, so many doubts. One thing I never have doubt in, is my children and their ability to overcome, adapt and succeed. They are truly remarkable, I can only take a minimum amount of credit, they were all born with the personalities that they have. The only thing I can take credit for is their strange television viewing habits.

Do I write about my obsessions with superheros? I am continually fascinated by all of them really, I have some that are more loved than others. Superman continues to be a favorite, I have loved him since I was 3 years old, Batman, not the dark knight one, the campy one, I love him, Wonder Woman, I want to be her. Thor, god of thunder come to earth, who doesn’t love that. I continue to this day to be fascinated by them, I know there is some debate regarding DC vs Marvel heroes and heroines, however I love them all.

Since I am so scattered today in my thinking I will sign off for now, tomorrow is a new day, a special day here in America. Where we honor all of our fallen heroes, the real ones, the ones that gave their lives defending our freedoms. More to come tomorrow.

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Bad Parenting

I have several things on my mind this morning, well two really, one trivial, one not so much, two rants, which one to choose. I will go with the not trivial one this morning. Yesterday I saw a video while perusing the news stories on Yahoo, it was two parents who put their toddler into a washing machine at a laundromat. The video was soundless, which, as we know from watching Buffy makes it more terrifying to watch. We see the father scoop up the toddler and place him/her (I don’t know) head first into a front loading machine. Then he shuts the door, puts money in and turns it on, the mother then comes around see what he has done and points and they both laugh. Then the mother reaches over to open the door for the poor panicked child. She cannot, because as any semi-intelligent person knows, the machines at the laundromat lock when you turn them on, especially front loading washing machines. The instructions even state that, right there, in black and white, at this point I can only assume these two morons cannot read. They began to panic in earnest, an attendant comes over to see what the commotion is, and he is horrified and begins running toward something, the story said the breakers. The attendant does get the machine to go off and the toddler is saved, minor bruises and what we can assume is a damaged psyche at this point in time. The story didn’t say if charges were being pressed against the parents. One can hope that child protective services were called and the parents will receive some much-needed education. Verbal education as they appear not to be able to read simple instructions at a laundromat.

Parenting is not that hard people, common sense, you do not place your child in a washing machine for fun, or anything! Seriously, you have to take a test to drive a car, join the military, shoot enter college, however, any moron can become a parent. Any idiot can do that, the only time they test is when adoption is involved. When people are in the hospital having a baby there should be a test, if you fail, then classes will be provided to you, you will have to pay for them as idiocy comes with a price. The price should not be the life of your child, it should be with your money, if you have no money, then you should work off the cost of the course by helping other parents after you have completed the course work yourself. Assuming some people can pass, I don’t know what to do with the ones that don’t pass, I have not gotten that far in my thinking process, I am sure I will be slammed for all of this, however, I think we can all guess how much I care about that.

Seriously, stop the madness, if you think it is funny to put a child in a washing machine to watch them panic, you might not make a good parent. Think about it before you procreate.

That’s all.