Some Days are good some not so much

Some days I am starving and some days I could care less about food, today I am starving. This morning was weigh-in for me, I have lost weight again, yay me. I really want to be super thin, I never have in my entire life, even when I was a down to a size 4 after having Elizabeth Anne, I still had huge legs. I don’t get it, what is it going to take to get skinny thighs? I know the answer, you don’t have to say, lipo. Well it is an option, it will have to be next year, I am going to start saving up for it, I need so much work it is not even funny. It would take a 20 hour surgery just to get started on all of my flawed areas. I don’t know why God does this to us, well certain us people. People like me, you know, I have the kiss of death, a great personality. Once someone says oh she has a great personality you know that person is ugly. I have been told this so much in my life that I know without a doubt in my mind I am not attractive, oh I pretend I am. I put on a good front but I know I’m not. Not really, which is why I only look at myself in the mirror without glasses on, that way I don’t have to see every flaw.
Sometimes I hate going out in public because of how I look, I don’t like people looking at me, I can read their thoughts. Why is someone so unattractive leaving their house, its hard when all of your friends are super pretty. I think this is why I love all of the Disney princess movies, all of the fairy tales, you can always wish for a fairy godmother to come and make you pretty. This is a pretty maudlin post I admit, but I have had a rough few weeks. There are so many things that have just bombarded me from all sides. I miss my ex-mother-in-law, there is no funeral service being planned for her. It is hard to know how to say goodbye. This time of year I was always in communication with Sandi, and by now would be planning my week at Mary Kay Seminar with her. Add being sick for 2 weeks on top of that and well, you have one messed up Angie. There are other things going on as well that cannot be talked about here. Just know that everything that is happening tells me how really unattractive I am.
The best part of the weekend was getting to see Tessa on Friday night and having her spend the night, that girl is so pretty and smart. Insanely smart, I am in awe of her, the older she gets the more and more she looks just like her dad, and her intelligence is so evident. I wish I could see her every day, however her parents have lives.
Today I am rocking a great Ralph Lauren jersey dress with 1940’s style pumps, that make me feel better! I hope everyone has a great Monday; I am back to the doctor today.

3 Replies to “Some Days are good some not so much”

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